Let me start off by saying that I do feel terribly about what I'm about to admit and I realize that there is no excuse for what I done. Any negative comments will be tolerated but I'd appreciate more support than criticism please.
Ok...so I am live in kentucky and I am now 28 weeks pregnant with my first baby. about 4 moths before I got pregnant I was very addicted to oxycotton and other opiates. Soon after I weaned myself off of everything I found out I was pregnant. I continued to smoke weed but only when my morning sickness got really bad and I stopped completely when I was about 18 weeks. My morning sickness had stopped and I didn't feel there was any reason to continue smoking after that. I stayed completely clean of everything until 2 weeks ago. I didn't even take the pain pills my dr has been prescribing me for the pinched nerve in my back..I just threw them away. I don't know what I was thinking or what came over me but I had a relapse and took half of any oxycotton 30. I feel so terrible about it. I have been eating myself up crying for the past 2 weeks. I am in no way addicted to them anymore that was the first time I done anything like that since before I got pregnant and I havent done anything since then. I want to tell my dr at my next appointment but I am so scared they will call cps on me but I'm also scared that if I don't say anything there's a chance they might find it in my babys system when shes born and then cps will take my baby girl away from me. I love my daughter so much already and I don't want them to take her away from me before I even get a chance to bring her home. Like I said I am NOT addicted I just want to know if my slip up will cause me to lose my daughter. Will that one little half a pain pill still be in my babys system when shes born? someone please give me an answer.
I know you said you were not an addict and you had a relapse with that 1/2 a pill. Do you still have those laying around? What was the reason why you took that? The time you mentioned when you were addicted can come sneaking back and you need to be able to identify those times and not act on those impulses. It sounds like you have done really well in taking care of you and the baby~
i just happened to find that one half while i was nesting and cleaning out my drawers and stuff. it was laying underneath the bottom drawer in my dresser. but i have cleaned out from underneath everything since then and have found nothing else that would cause another moment like that. and thank you, im trying so hard to be the best mother i can be to my baby girl
i dont have a reason or an excuse for taking it honestly. i think i juzz acted on impulse...it was there and my mind wasnt. it wasnt until 20 min after i took it and started throwing up that i realized exactly why i had quit to begin with and the consequences for what i done. I have been so upset and depressed since then. it hurts to know that i even had the nerve to do that to my daughter. i took a chance of hurting her or losing her to the state when i took that pill and i dont know if i can forgive myself for that.
The important thing is you didnt continue taking them. You have your baby's well being as your no.1 priority. That is a good thing. Try not to beat yourself up as that will get you nowhere. You have a wonderful event approaching, dont let this put a damper on it. I raised 2 girls so i know what you are in for!! lol
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