spoke to swag and his wife

[jayeye]

i am writting this on swags behalf.

I have been speaking to swag via text messages for the past few days........today his wife called me to find out more about the board and the people on here.....i had a nice convo with her....she was a little iffy at first but after speaking with her i convinced her that it would be a very good idea for her to come on the boards.


turns out swag as quite the anger managment problem...i think its a combanation of the things......but a big part of it has to do with his wife learnign to understand what he is going through.....she admitted she didnt really understand why it is so hard for some one to stop using or whatever......told her she will never truley understand if you never go throuhg it.....but if she came on the boards she would at least get a better understanding of the problem and that its not an easy battle.....i guess its a vicous cycle hes got going on there.....his wife dosent understand he gets mad and the saga continues.

anyway he really wants to work on this anger thing which he now realizes he has....he thought he might have gotten the boot from the site......and said he was sorry to all

[Dav125]

If anything Pepper, I hope he walked away with something of benefit from his experience here and left the negatives behind..

[SmallPepper]

P;S  Foregot to mention he deleted him self  as he is only just words on a screen

[SmallPepper]

smallpepper here jay in response to note ;  The Swag is doing fine thanks for asking              smallpepper

[jayeye]

look i found my post =)

good move on being a PARENT lol.....thats not mean at all.

when you said techno babies i thougth you meant like the music like the club kids i was like how did you know from my post that i used to party in that scence....thats a whole nother story

so i manage to get out of my house thins weekend finaly....my brother was down from buffalo went to see him and his wife and a few friends......i took my pills in the morning....but didnt take any more till i was getting ready to leav around 8pm...i know it might not seem like a big deal but for me it was......i need to start getting out of the house and doing things i really think that would help...you know the whole ideal hands saying.....uuuugh a few people were asking why i lost so much weight and what have i been doing....i hate hearing that

[vicki595]

Okay...good!!!   But you techno babies !!!!   Send a note IN THE MAIL !!   LOL

I'm an old fashioned girl!!!

*My daughter is a computer/cell phone baby...LOL    I would never let her use spell check.  So mean...LOL    She had her own computer and a dictionary and her mother
to help.  I was so afraid she'd never be able to spell on her own!!!   She's all good now!!

xo

[jayeye]

one step ahead of you....note was sent teh same day as the interview...just hope i got the email right =x

[vicki595]

Thanks...that's sweet.  :)

I just had a thought....It's always a nice thing to send a note after every job interview. Just "thanks for seeing me...I hope I have the pleasure of working for your organization"...or something like that.  People never do that and it's just a little extra that makes you stand out !

I know you're trying hard. It gets easier. Really try to cut back on the pills...We all work at this everyday and it becomes second nature to be happy after awhile. I promise!!

V.

[jayeye]

i always write put instead of but and know instead of no....i blame my weak spelling on growing up in the spell check area haha

[jayeye]

im trying to be vick believe me i am!

If i dont hear from them by tuesday i'm going to give them a call and see whats up.....then the journey continues.....put of course i will keep you posted you guys might be the first to know lol

i dont know how many times i thanked you but im sure one more wont hurt=)....thanks again you have no idea how much what your doing means to me....you are one of the sweetest and most caring person i have had the honor of knowing.

[vicki595]

Maybe...it depends on many things...that 4 year degree is great to have but it's not the do all,end all to employers.  Hang in,Kiddo, and treat yourself nicely Okay?

xo

[jayeye]

no =( im pretty bummed but still keeping my fingers crossed....he said he would contact me by the end of the week...but it is the end of the week and nothing.....they are opened on saturdays so i am still hanging on to a slim hope that they will call.


the big problem is when i applied it said bachlors degree a must.....he called me and i told him i am going to night school and he still invited me in for the interview.....one of the advantaches is it is the college i recieved my accosiates from so i have that going for me and the interview did go very well.

i just think if somebody walks inthere degreed up then im out of the running

[vicki595]

Good...an appt. Tell her everything...she'll be a help.  Any word on the new job yet?

V.

[jayeye]

ah all the things to consider.........i have thought about what you are saying too

[want2bme]

Let her go....Give her some space to sort things out in her own head.  I wouldnt tell her this is your plan eighter,.  Seriously lay low.  Ya know that old saying...If you love something let it go..if it comes back........
She has to make decisions for herself that she is comfortable with because she want to not ...because she feels preasured to.  

[jayeye]

going to see a shrink thursday at 3pm

wow never thought i would be doing that.

[jayeye]

yes i really do want to talk to somebody...i thought a found a good shrinnk told her my problems she said she would see me....i called her back to set somethign up she never called back wtf

[jayeye]

i spoke to him he'll be back he was posting earlier....he needs to learn that sometimes it takes time for people to answer....he gets really defensive if he isnt answered right away....and thats something he needs to understand if he wants to have the support of this board

[el_em_en_oh]

Does anyone know if Swagger will be back?

(This thread got a little off track, and not trying to bring back on-track or anything, but I figured this was as good as any to ask.)

I think a lot of us have been where he is (maybe not exactly, but close, in more ways than we'd like to admit) and can empathize with his plight. I must admit, that he rubbed me the wrong way a few times, and it was tough for me not to lash out and tell him to stick-it, but I reeled myself back in and pulled my emotions out of the picture (and put myself in his shoes, as much as I could)

As I said, we've all been there before. I was pretty jacked up in my using days and probably said and acted a lot worse than he did (although I can't say that I acted EXACTLY as he did, I'm sure some would say that I was more than a little belligerent).
My point is, I don't want to see him 'get away' from this place.

If anyone out there has his ear, please ask him to come back. Water under the bridge, as I'm sure most of you would agree.

Bygones.

[vicki595]

No,I'm sure she's not a ho.  But she's young so if you want her,make it clear,give it all you've got and let the chips fall. It's part of life...

It sounds like you're a bit depressed here. ???    Do you think you might see your doctor and talk about it?  He/she could also support you in getting off the pills...
Just a thought.

V.

[jayeye]

part of me doesnt even want to come to this place anymore i lay in bed and cant get up....i want to get fired so i can collect while i look for something...but i think that would just make things all that much worse....i guess i gotta just keep hanging on...suck it up and come in

yeah you guys are both right..on the girl..and that crossed my mind about her blowing smoke....but she wouldnt do the things she does if she didnt really feel it.

why would she even spend that time with me if it was just to be flattred???? wouldnt it just be making her life  more difficult??? i know she not just some ho you kno

[jayeye]

=(

[vicki595]

Jay~ Sara is right. We've gotten a bit "off topic" here.  The thing is: you've got several things going on here: pills,girl,work;in that order.

Sobriety always has to be #1 with you and for all of us. The rest falls nicely into place after that.  I know that you know this. And I know you're going after that,too!!!  I believe in you now.
You've got some fighting to do here,on several fronts. We'll support you...that's what we do...

Tell this girl you REALLY don't want her to go.  If she still goes,you've got the weekend to decide your next move. It's tough...I know.

V.  xo

[dominosarah]

I hope the young lady is sincere and not just dangling you.  Sometimes it can be very flattering to have a couple guys want you.  Hopefully i am wrong.

As for the job, i hope you get the new one.  You dont deserve to be treated like a child from your boss.  That isnt a good setting for anyone as we dont really feel like working to our potential then.  Hopefully you will hear some news about the new one today.

We all understand that getting clean is not easy but staying clean is the hard part.  Once you have made up your mind that you are done, let  nothing stand in your way.  You will see things in a different light once you are pill free......

[jayeye]

of course i  want to give her the best of me......if she cared for me at my worst imagine when she has me at my best....thats big motivation for me......and not just her anyone that may be part of my future.

im not sure if you saw my other post from last night.....but i got that whole job thing going on right now 4th post down....vicki gave me some good advice on it...what do you think on that?

now that you started with that whatelse do you have to say about it lol please do tell.

i do know i have to get clean and everyday im a little closer to it.....you know its not easy nor is there a quick fix....so please if you would tell...i would love to hear your opinions on both topics

you guys are both great......i know im going to be able to beat this with the both of you in my corner