still trying

[Weney3777]

You haven't heard from me in a while. I must admit I haven't gotten more than 15 days clean at a time, but I still trying. It has been hard with another addict in the house. I started NA a couple of weeks ago, and it took me away from my family too much. I was always at meetings, instead of being at home with my loved ones. I haven't actually gone on a "run" again, just taken one or two here and there. But that's enough to cut my "clean time" short. Every time I take one, it seems harder and harder to obstain the next time, you know? I keep hoping I can be one of those who can take one now and then, for pain, but then when I do, my insides SCREAM and I know I'm not one of those people. I hope everyone is ok.

[leeisgettingclean]

very good way to put it, I feel that i have learned the same thing over the years but you put it in a very good words!

[Axl_0113]

yeah...I don't know what it is about us addicts that makes us different.  Other people can take them (as perscribed) for the pain and be okay...but then people like me, get them and take as many as I can.  Not sure what makes us different in that mannor, but I learned a long time ago, that I am different, and the rules aren't the same.  It's either stay off of them forever, and never touch one agian....or go back to using.  And we all knwo that the 2nd choice isn't an option..