TRYIN TO HOLD ON

I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST 3YEARS AGO,FOR AN ADDICTION TO OPIATES,50,TO,70 A DAY ANYTHING I COULD GET MY HANDS ON.I WAS TAKING ABOUT 20 AMBIEM DURING THE DAY IF I GOT TO HYPED,BENZOS TO,LONG STORY SHORT,THIS DOC PUTS ME ON 24MG SUBUTEX I NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE,HE KNOWS I HAVE A HISTORY OF ADDICTION TO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING MOSTLEY COCAINE AND POT SINCE THE AGE OF 13,HE THEN PRESCRIBES ME ADDERRALL 30MG.3XADAY AND AMBIEM NEEDLESS TO SAY I GOT ADDICTED AND ABUSED THEM HORRIBLY,WENT TO 5 DIFF.DOCS. FOR SAME MEDS.THEN STARTED ORDERING OVER THE INTERNET,IT WAS'NT LONG WHEN THE DEA GOT INVOLVED WENT TO COURT HAD TO GO TO REHAB,I ALSO OVERDOSED TWICE ON AMIEM AND BENZOS,GOT OUT OF REHAB DEC.1 WAS CLEAN FOR 2 WEEKS NOW IM BACK ON THE ADDERRALL,10ADAY30.MG ZANAX2MG IM SEEING A PSYCHOLOGIST NOW WHO I REALLY LIKE,HE THINKS I SHOULD GO BACK TO REHAB I TOLD HIM ABSOULUTLY NOT I WANT TO TRY AND WEAN OFF HE AGREED TO HELP ME,WHAT MEDS SHOULD I TAKE AS IM WEANING TO HELP WITHDRAWLS IN REHAB THEY GAVE ME PHENOBARBITAL,BUT I DONT NO IF A DOC CAN PRESCIBE?FOR THE RECORD IM 5'FEET 105PDS.

[avisg]

These are the things you have to work out with your doctor .I would do it that way he thinks you should .He will know what to put you on good luck let us know how it goes .

[Leah1964]

I am a newbie here and don't have any experience about the meds you've been dealing with.   But I didn't want to exit your post without saying how sorry for all the agony you've been through.  Just want to pose a couple of questions.  Why are you against going back to rehab?  Can you really handle tapering off yourself?  Is you psychologist working in conjunction with a Dr. that can prescribe meds?
I am sure that you will get some great advice on here.  With all my heart I wish you the best on your journey of wholeness.

[CATUF]

Listen to your doctor.  Go back to rehab.

CATUF

[salsinator]

Hi Leah - welcome to the forum.  The meds you are taking have got to be taking a toll on you - lots of ups and down.  Listen to Avisg here and work closely with your doctor.  If you have an opportunity to go back to rehab, or do some other form of supervised detox - that would really be the way to go.  Think about it, you have been in this position before and quitting on your own does not appear to have worked - it does not work for any of us addicts.  Think about your options and really what you truly want.  Only a doctor can work with you on potential meds to take at this point - at some point, you may just have to go it without anything because addicts can and will abuse anything they get - phenobarbital can also be abused just like Ambien or anything else.  Keep posting and take care.

[dominosarah]

Listen to your doctor