?? for anyone....Pavlov's Dog syndrome????

I just had the weirdest experience...I was out for a walk...on my way home I saw the FedEx truck in front of my house...I got a feeling of relief (I used to do that when I was waiting for my next shipment of hydro's!) and then i broke out in a cold sweat because I know I'm clean 20 days!!!! It really freaked me out because I thought he was dropping off a refill til I realized the package was for my husband! The courier looked at me like I was nuts because I was literally shaking! I was so scared that if it was for me I would have blown my recovery...I guess this is something that will keep me on my toes for the rest of my life...just wanted to see if anyone has had any similar experiences!!!!!
Thanks!
Marcie

[beachtowel]

Nothing like using two fortune 500 companies to buy pills Mastercard to purchase and Fedex to bring them to your doorstep.......

I was there too Marcie,,,see you at the meeting tonight have to go to my second job for a while...take care..

[CATUF]

That's VERY common and simply to be expected.  It falls into the category of "People, Places and Things."

I used to get the same feelings whenever I went into a grocery store, because the only trips I made to a grocery store during active addiction were use-related.

They are VERY powerful and seem to hit you without warning - just when I'd think I'd ID'd and stayed away from everything that might pose a PPT issue, WHAM!!!  I'd get hit by one I couldn't have imagined.

Besides avoiding known PPT's, two things helped me a lot: 1) Prayer; and 2) Talking about them.

I have a simple prayer that I now always use in such a situation: "Lord, grant me peace and serenity in my Recovery."  Initally I had been told to ask God to "remove the obsession and compulsion to use."  However, I was later told that the human mind doesn't deal well with a negative instruction, i.e. if you're telling yourself "don't think about X," you have a hard time thinking about anything EXCEPT X.  Thus, I was better off pushing the troubling thing out of my mind with a positive thing that was Recovery oriented.

Just telling someone about the event seems to turn it into a non-event.  However, it needs to be someone who understands addiction & Recovery - could you imagine the looks I'd get from the Kroger manager if I told him what went through my mind the first few times I darkened his door?

[CATUF]

The other thing that's actually useful about a PPT Event, is that it's a relatively safe reminder that you are in Recovery, not recovered.  Every time I have one (and they are much less frequent now) I feel something like "Wow!  That Reptile is still in there hoping that I'll feed him!"

[creek]

This is making me sick.  I will never make it that far, pretty sure i won't make it through the day...for real today...this is awful.

You all sound so healthy....sounds so far away. ...not reachable I am afraid.

[Marce4]

You are right here and very reachable...by the mere fact that you are coming here!!!!  It shows that you want this more than those Damn pills!!!!  I may sound healthy but I still have lots of issues and crazy thoughts in my mind!!!!  You have come such a long way and you sound like you are slowly (I know,,,it would be great if we snapped our fingers and BAM...all better!!!!!! I am sooooo proud of you...you have  alot going on and you are still fighting this. YOu need to give yourself A LOT of credit...I sure as hell do!
Peace to you,
Marcie

[creek]

Thanks girl.  I thought I was gonna have a freakin nervous breakdown this morning and I was mad at everyone here too!  I am blessed to have your friendship and words today.   And everyday.  Maybe that is my problem, I can't even accept I DO have real friends here.
Thanks marce.  Thanks so much that is all I can say.  I am hanging in there.  Minute by minute only.