living with an oxycontin addict

I have a question regarding my boyfriends addiction to oxycontin. He has used for 5 years, abused prescription and at one point he had taken about 40 oxys 20mg. I dont believe its that much on a daily basis but very high doses. He also crushes and snorts them. I have a question on the long term effects of this abuse. Everything I could find were vague. I am referring to other than withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms. He goes through being sick for about a week or two a month every month for years. I notice certian things when he isnt going through coming down and being sick. His breathing at night when sleeping is scary. It sounds like someone is drowning heavy breathing like gasping for air and what seems like forever but prob 30secs to a min without breathing and then deep breathing like u cant catch your breath. Movement that actually pushes bed away from the wall like mini seizures. He has said there were a few times that he was going to call ambulance cause he thought he might be having a heartattack and I just have this feeling that if he continues to do this something bad is going to happen soon. This is happening while he is still using and not going through withdrawl (withdrawal). What are the long term effects of oxy abuse? All I can find is respitory distress.. are these warnings signs of that? What could be wrong?


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[rafe44]

His life is very much in danger. Opiates effect the breathing. Of course it also effects the heart. His sex life will go down to nothing, if it hasnt yet.

[GA Guy]

The most common of untreated long term Oxycontin abuse is death. The lucky ones get put in jails or insane asylums (some feel luckier dead). Wondering about the long term effects of continued Oxycontin abuse is like playing Russian roulette...and wondering if pulling the trigger repeatedly will cause arthritis.

[IBKleen]

Hi and glad you found your way out to create your own post.

Now that you have gotten a few answers regarding the very dangerous behavior your boyfriend continues to exhibit, what next?

You have not talked about whether or not he plans to stop using nor have you discussed what you plan to do. It can not be a happy situation that you are in. If you are awake at night scared by his breathing then it is time to make some changes.

You cannot get him clean unless he first admits he has a problem and then asks for help. However, you can do something for you.

Hope to see you post again and reach out to the members here for guidance and advise.

[Ali1226172]

Hi yoyo, your boyfriend has a serious problem and it is only a matter of time before he overdoses and dies.  I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, for I have watched my sister(my best friend in the world) almost die on me from chronic herion use (PS she started with oxycontin too).  The long term effects= heart damage (esp if he is mixing other drugs which he almost def is), kidney damage(infection), respitory problems, and of course OVERDOSE/DEATH!  My sister who is in her twenties has had several kidney infections, and has permanet heart damage from all her abuse.  She nearly died of an overdose shooting heroin on her way to the hospital.... it was then my family got together and called an intervention!! Today she is a rehab and working on her recovery and has been clean off heroin for months.  One of the toughest things for me was telling my sister I would no longer be in her life unless she got help and to this day I stick to that!!! It's time you take care of U before you become a part of the disease too, and tell him its time to get help of your out!!  U can help save his life, but you have to act FAST and do something TODAY!!

[rudy553]

I was doing the same amount that he was.My girlfriend on several nights almost called 911 because of my breathing.But i did end up having seizures one of them happend at work driving for UPS.Lucky for me i was not driving at the time i was taking a package to stop and the next thing i remember is waking up with about 5 paramedics around me and taking me to the hospital.So this will happen to him so you need to get him help.I have had several seizures since and no longer work for UPS so its not worth it.The withdraws will be hell because im still going through it but i know a month of hell is worth a life time of feeling like i use to before all the pills and thats what he has to do because there will not be a happy ending if he does nothing.

[yoyoyo333]

I have made posts about the situation with his addiction. It has been years and I have done everything I thought I could do to help. I have brought him to rehab twice. At this point he wont go to rehab, counseling, any groups or meetings, to see any other doctor other than his pain doc. I have threatened calling that doctor and he said it wouldnt matter cause he could make up a story to him of why I would say that and it isnt true or he would find another doc to get pills. He admits he has a problem he has said that to me for years and at this point he doesnt care it doesnt matter. this is my post about his addiction to oxys...  

I dont get it and I dont think I ever will!! I understand everything about oxys from my boyfriends addiction for 5 years now. Every lie possible and thousands of broken promises. I dont get how its that really that strong. In the first couple years I have went from crying myself to sleep thinking there was something I could do or say to save him. Begging on my knees sobbing to Please Love Us More!!! me and his babies Please just love us more this one time. He would soon be gone going to buy oxys or get a front until it got his. Thats pain! when a man will spend every penny on it without buying food or diapers for his kids then the next day be dope sick in bed for days on end while I stress about what we are going to do. Over the years I have tried everything. I have been through every emotion. My babies and I have brought him to rehab twice and he left after a day or so each time. At worst he had taken little more than 40 oxys in one day 20's. He is addicted to snorting them also the whole process. He has begged me to hold them for him to give him only so many. about 3 times now he has attacked me infront of our kids to get the bottle from me, with 2 pills left in it. for 2 pills? the kids are terrified when he walks into a room. they say things like dont hit mommy dont break her. But the worst of all he left subs out for a min I didnt know our baby ate it I cant tell you or describe to you  there are no words he was so high .. I brought him to the er of course and thank god he was ok. an innocent baby but he doesnt stop  I dont get how its that strong. I dont get it. I would die for my kids do anything to protect them. I cant continue to do this anymore. I know I cant help him.  there isnt anything I can say or do. its not safe he drops stuff or leaves it laying around and I cant let him hurt us anymore. I dont have anything left anymore I have nothing. I dont get how that little blue pill has that much control over a person..to do those things to your own children and family. He is sick every month prob half of it until his appt. and he lays in bed. I have no sympathy for it anymore that dope sick feeling is nothing compared to the real pain we go through everyday trying to fight for the people we love when they dont even want to fight for themselves. To have children with someone and that little blue pill is worth more to him than us. Not being able to do anything about anything. We dont get to make those choices, we have to live with yours. I wont do that anymore.  I wish everyone coming forward with their own addiction all the strength to get well. Im sorry I dont want this comment to upset anyone, it so real to me. addiction is a selfish disease and u do have to do it for yourself first. But it breaks my heart for the family. For the wives or husbands mothers or fathers brothers and sisters but most of all the kids!!! it doesnt matter how young or old they are they are all affected by it wether we can all admit it or not. For years I have tried to not give up on him. To be there for him. I never wanted him to feel like no one cared and alone. the past year it has gotten worse and I cant put my kids and myself in that situation anymore. I cant stick by him and fight a battle he isnt fighting for himself. Through every emotion I went through it has turned into anger. I am angry. Im upset at him, im upset at these doctors, im upset at other addicts that do this tho their families. I dont know how to deal with those feelings I feel so broken down and exhausted. I dont know how he keeps doing this. I am not sure what the long term effects of high doses of oxys and snorting them are but. even when he isnt sick things scare me. His breathing at night when sleeping is scary. It sounds like someone is drowning heavy breathing like gasping for air and what seems like forever but prob 30secs to a min without breathing and then deep breathing like u cant catch your breath. Movement that actually pushes bed away from the wall like mini seizures. He has said there were a few times that he was going to call ambulance cause he thought he might be having a heartattack and I just have this feeling that if he continues to do this something bad is going to happen soon. I think he is aware of that too but would never say it. The other day I told him straight up that he needed to write letters for the kids when they get older. Just in case something did happen. I grew up in a house of addicts and as kids u dont get it u wonder why they didnt love you  more than the drug. Why cant u love me enough to stop. I asked him what do I tell them now and when they are older when u die from this. I said I dont know what I am suppose to tell them. So I told him to write them letters and when they are older maybe it would help in some way.

[IBKleen]

I think you misunderstood me.

What I was suggesting was that YOU DO get help for you. You cannot help him and you are obviously suffering and unhappy. You don't have to live like this.

I read all of your posts earlier and contacted you to create a new one so I am familiar with your situation.

I hope you get the help that you need and get on with your life before it's too late for you.

[yoyoyo333]

Oh ok thank you sorry I misunderstood your comment. I understand that now and that things have gotten so much worse. I am doing those things now. I thank everyone for your posts and comments. It takes alot of courage to write these. I wish everyone good luck and lots of strength through their own struggles with this addiction. Its not easy to just leave again. I have to I know that. I think I have held out so much hope and stuck by him so long because I had that one person in my life that stuck by me when I had no one. It didnt have to do with drugs but I pushed everyone away and I had that one person who wouldnt let me who kept trying and trying when I didnt want them to and at some point I woke up it made a difference after some time. So as I make these changes in my life and kids I know I shouldnt but I have some guilt that i turned my back or gave up and how lonely and horrible that must feel.  thank you for all your posts everyone

[Ali1226172]

Hey yoyo, Idk if you read my post before to you- but I just read your latest one and I am in tears.  I understand your pain so much hun, because I almost lost my best friend (my sister) and for a while I had to cut her completely out of my life because I took her addiction to heart so bad that I STARTED USING!!  Luckily I put myself in check, but still I am batteling a dependency on pain freign meds!  I started to realize that I was self-medicating to kill the pain of losing her.  It's hard to understand completely why this drug is so strong unless you have been addicted yourself.  So all I can say is that your boyfriend is in full blown dark and ugly addiction right now, and you must remember that it is a DISEASE (just like cancer, or any other disease).  If your boyfriend doesn't take his pills he feels like he is going to die... to him pills are like water or food at this point.  And if he does stop his body will literally feel as if it is breaking into pieces.  Idk if that helps you understand more, but bottom line is that YOU are now becoming part of HIS addiction and I pray that you will seek help for yourself before you go down too.  Try Alonon or Naranon meetings (they are for those who have a loved one who is an addict)!! I'm praying for you tonight and your boyfriend.  All I can say is that the sooner you walk away, the sooner he has a chance at life!! You need to show him that there are consequences to this lifestlye....he isn't going to get better until he hits rock bottom and what you need to do is let him hit that!! Most of all you need to get yourself well

With love, Ali- keep me posted