12 step program

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

[bettie1976]

Thanks! I printed it out and am putting it up on the fridge. Right next to an old sober picture of me.

[beachtowel]

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

I have my own version:

We admit that we are powerless against our drug of choice and that our addiction manages our lives

This was my hardest step to do it took me years because I always thought I was the boss.......
I could control the drugs I took and nobody managed my life but me........

It is because of failure to submit to the first step why it keeps so many addicts in denial and then takes them so long to get to recovery.......

[bettie1976]

QUOTE: "It is because of failure to submit to the first step why it keeps so many addicts in denial and then takes them so long to get to recovery....... "

I thought about that and it gave me chills....Its so true..

[beachtowel]

When I speak at inpatient drug rehabs I try to stress the first step and how important it is........
it is amazing how the steps as you get going all tie into one another but you can't even get started until you can honestly get by #1

[bettie1976]

why didnt you come speak at my detox! haha

[tzt2lady]

Step one - I read over and over how we have to plan family events, vacations, etc etc around how many pills we have left.   The pills are making the choices for us.  This is NOT us managing our lives, it is the pills.  We wake up and wish we werent addicted.  We dont WANT to take a pill but do so anyway just to function.   That is powerlessness.   When we take them even when we dont want to, thats powerlessness.

Folks, even if one isnt ready to attend meetings or is relutant, go to a 12 step store and buy the basic text and step workbook.  Read, you will find yourselves in itl  Wherever it metions a particular drug, substitute it for your drug of choice.  Its a start.

[CATUF]

I am curious as to why your Step 1 is limited to only your drug of choice.  Does this mean that you believe you have power/control over other mood-altering substances?  

[bettie1976]

good question! I didnt even see that cuz I was speed reading.

[beachtowel]

Again someone reading another meaning into my post......

I use drug of choice because this is what drug of choice means to me:

Drug of choice means your drug of choice this entails every drug known to man kind how is that limiting anything?

[beachtowel]

please explain mood-altering substances............so I understand where your coming from....I was referring to drugs this is a drug forum.........

[CATUF]

Sorry if it sounded like I was reading things into your post.  I intended only to ask for clarification so I would know what you meant.  I confess that assumed you must have some reason for changing the official NA Step 1 (". . . we were powerless over our addiction . . .") to "powerless against our drug of choice."  

By "mood-altering substance," I meant the same thing that NA refers to in "WHO IS AN ADDICT?"  (p. 3) when it speaks addicts being people who cannot use ANY "mind-altering, mood-changing substance" i.e. DRUGS.  Of course, in keeping with the Basic Text's admonition  ("we cannot afford to be confused about this - Alcohol is a drug." (p. 18)), that would include alcohol.

[beachtowel]

I write the first step like I do to include all drugs because of my negative experiences with AA

In NA we always accept alcoholics and they do not have to say there are addicts and they are totally accepted.......
That is the way it should be...........

In my studies at school also included in mood altering substances include sex and gambling......
I wasn't sure exactly where you were going........

[NautyOne]

Whats next?  you gonna rewrite scripture?  Oh, wait.  You just did.  Pretty Ball-zy

[beachtowel]

Yes I was thinking of re writing the bible next do you have any suggestions........

[NautyOne]

In fact, I do.  how bout  "thou shalt not put yourself above the Lord"........:-)

[beachtowel]

I missed that commandment when I went to catholic school.......

which commandment is that?

How about this for my title   "The Book of Beachtowel"

I would say "The Book of Saint Beachtowel" but I think you have to be dead to be a saint........

[NautyOne]

Scared of that!!!!  Catholic School, huh.  I bet if you held your hands out palms down I could read 1-12......lol.

[CATUF]

Wouldn't gambling and sex be mood-altering activities?  

I gotta tell you, I'm am SO glad that my disease manifists in a substance-addiction, not a process-addiction.

[beachtowel]

years ago I went through the gambling thing god I was so broke........

[oxyhydro]

Here we go with the god thing again. Why do people have to bible bang. I think the 12 steps are dumb, has nothing to do with god. It's your choice to quit, not gods. Let me see hang out with myself and get clean! or hang out with a bunch of recovering alc's and drug addicts, half of which are still high at the meeting. Hum let me scratch my head.

[beachtowel]

where in the hell did that come from

[oneway]

The god thing.  Well I am a big believer in a higher power not a bible higher power but something more then this.  But everything else you said I pretty much agree with.  I had people always tell me to go to meetings and then I would go and want to get high when I left.  I came in their with drugs not even on my mind and then when I left I wanted to go get twisited.  I thought it was corny how everbody was trying to get in the best saying of the day or the best story.  I think it is a miracle worker for some people especially people who have no hobbies and a limited social life but for some people it has the opposite affect on them.  I believe that some people have it in them just to quit on their own.  NA just gave me a bad vibe and really almost everyone I know in NA relapses and the people who I know that just said I've had enough time to quit have stayed clean.  I really think NA does help a lot for some but just not for me.  Each to his own.  If thats what works for you keep doing it.

[oneway]

The god thing.  Well I am a big believer in a higher power not a bible higher power but something more then this.  But everything else you said I pretty much agree with.  I had people always tell me to go to meetings and then I would go and want to get high when I left.  I came in their with drugs not even on my mind and then when I left I wanted to go get twisited.  I thought it was corny how everbody was trying to get in the best saying of the day or the best story.  I think it is a miracle worker for some people especially people who have no hobbies and a limited social life but for some people it has the opposite affect on them.  I believe that some people have it in them just to quit on their own.  NA just gave me a bad vibe and really almost everyone I know in NA relapses and the people who I know that just said I've had enough time to quit have stayed clean.  I really think NA does help a lot for some but just not for me.  Each to his own.  If thats what works for you keep doing it.

[mom2rachie]

Obviously you're still active or that comment wouldn't make any sense to you because it made no sense to anyone else.

I got clean with God and I will proudly say it.  I don't push it on anyone else but I will not allow someone to bash it.  I tried it my way for years and years and it got me nowhere.  When I gave up trying and let go and let God, I realized that God was doing for me what I could no longer do for myself.  For me, life is a lot easier if I trust that someone else is helping me and guiding me in the right direction.  It's up to me to see those signals and up to me to take those signs and use them daily.  Some days for me are better than others.

And if you're going  top meetings here half of them are high my friend, you're going to the wrong ones because 9 out of 10 of the meetings I go to, the people are serious about recovery.  Keep going to different meetings until you find one that fits.  If the meetings that have the high people in it doesn't fit you, go to another.  I surrounded myself with sober people, some with long amounts of clean time and some with short amounts of clean time but their messages was always the same.

And just to point one more thing out to everyone....
The first step says we WERE powerless......... after doing the steps, helping others, staying honest and having a spiritual awakening, we are no longer powerless.  
I can walk into a bar for a party and not be dragged over to order a beer because I have regained that power, the power to choose which no active addict has.  
They lose that ability to chose because they lose all rational thought.  The drug takes over, whatever drug that may be.  Once you have the ability to think it through, you will regain your personal power, for me it was with God's help but I know that's not necessarily true for others.

[mom2rachie]

Step work books are not necessary.  Bill W did it all in one day.  Follow his lead in the Big Book. Step work books make it 10 times more complicated then it needs to be.
Get honest, say you're sorry, live right, start helping others.
Not that hard if you think about it.

[oneway]

I don't think he has to be high to think that.  Some people are really turned off by people who try to push religion on them.  I honestly think its ok if he feels that way everyone is different and some people can get things accomplished in a different way.  I am a strong believer in a higher power but I think it is ok if you don't believe.  I know that their are secular recovery groups so it can be done without believing in a higher power.  I think the thing that turns people off from NA sometimes is that people are almost cult like or religious about NA.  Like if you don't do this and that then you will never get clean which in my opinion is just not true.

[mom2rachie]

People who go in close minded and think of it as cultish and do not allow themselves to see the beauty in it will stay in that train of thought.  It's not for everyone, that's true.  It's for those who have faith.
I am a person of faith and I wish that evreyone could find the freedom and joy that comes along with that but as I said earlier:

"I got clean with God and I will proudly say it.  I don't push it on anyone else "

My way clearly wasn't working so why not give someone else's way a chance, especially since it's helped millions.
Even if you take God out of the equation, addicts helping other addicts and addicts leaning on other addicts can't be ineffective.  We are the only ones who truly know the addict except of course the family or person closest to the addict who themselves has underogne some sort of tretment to get better because after all it's a disease we all suffer from if you have an addict in your life.    
  

[oneway]

I wasn't saying you push  NA on people I was saying that their is some that do.  NA has a lot of paralells to cults and religions and I think it is pretty close minded to say that just because I see some similarities between the two that I am close minded.  Whats beautiful to one may be ugly to another.  I think to say that I don't have faith because I don't believe in NA is off bases.  I have enough faith in GOD that he made me strong enough to overcome my problems on my own.  But its awesome that it is working for you.  Its always good to hear success no matter how it came.  Good luck and keep up the good work.

[mom2rachie]

I was generalizing when I said people are close minded.  I really wasn't referring to you so I'm sorry if you took it that way.  Believe me, I have been around the rooms enough to see the dark side but I have to remember that there is a dark side to everyone and if those people act that way in program, they must not be any good to be around outside of the rooms.  
I try to practice principles before personalities all the time.  Sometimes it works better than others.  
People who are disturbed or out to hurt will find a way to do it whether they are "clean" and in program or whether they are not and in the real world saddly enough.

[bettie1976]

I wanted to add that my mom (after being a functioning drunk, whatever, I think its bs personally) for more than half her life (shes now52) and a coke head is now off the **** ( a LONG time ago) and still has a drink occasionally. Like once or twice a year and its been that way since I can remember. I do remember there were times recently when she wouldnt allow alcohol into the house at all. But now she has white wine sometimes. She never went the AA route tho I drug her to one but she's doing just fine.

[oxyhydro]

Don't get me wrong I believe in god. It's just  so overused. And no I am not still active. I am 63 days clean from pills. 10 days clean from cigarettes, and 5 days clean from lexapro. I am sorry but I have been to NA/AA meeting and man those are some of the freakiest people I have ever seen, and half of them were still high and using, what kind of situation is that.  I just think that a person needs to deal with what he/she brought on in  their life and fix it. Not preach god. If god had anything to do with addiction, we never would have gotten addicted in the first place.

[bettie1976]

I can kind of see your point b/c one of the girls who got her 18 month chip friday night Im pretty sure is NOT clean. But not for us to judge. If they cant admit it to themselves then thats their problem. The meetings are there to help us, to find something to relate to, to see yourself in others. In AA/NA they arent preaching "god" as youre understanding it and if you listened during the meetings they will tell you half of them have a problem with the religious theme. But they will also tell you that you can use a lightbulb, doorknob, the sun, or the moon for your higher power. Hell, you can even use the toilet if you wanna.
Congrats on the pills and smokes! That ones gonna be the hardest for me but Im asking about chantix when I go to dr on wednesday.

P.S. Some people are court mandated to attend a certain amount of meetings in order to complete some type of program for getting in trouble with the law. They may still be using but are you there for you or are you there for THEM?

[mom2rachie]

And no I am not still active. I am 63 days clean from pills. 10 days clean from cigarettes, and 5 days clean from lexapro.

I applaud you for being clean.... but are you sober that is responsible in all aspects of your life, promptly admit when you are wrong, help others, help other addicts especially, act rationally and apply those principles in all your affairs?  Or are you clean but still going home to kick the dog.  
The meetings after a while no longer become about being clean, they become about how to live a sober life, one worth living, where you can be of full service to your fellow addict and all of mankind around you.
I know we all just have today but come back and talk when you have 5 - 10 years under your belt.  Some people need to rely on God to get them through the day and it doesn't make them cultish.  You meet all sorts of people in life in and out of the rooms.  

I've also never heard of any meeting giving out 18 month coins.  Once you hit a year you're supposed to celebrate annually.  Don't make it your business to worry about whether someone else is sober or clean.  It's much easier to keep your side of the street clean and all will fall into place in YOUR life and their life will go the way it will go beacuse of what they're doing or what they're not whether you call them on it or not.    

As for the mother that can drink ocassionally.... welll, to me she is not a REAL alcoholic because according to the Big Book definition (there are all types of addicts) and because of the definition I go by that is proposed to me by the program of AA, a REAL alcoholic cannot have one drink because it's the first drink that gets them drunk and a REAL alcoholic can only be saved by divine intervention.  I thank God every day that is the type of alcoholic I am otherwise I would not be the person I am today.

I wish you all continued sobriety not just accumulated clean time.

[bettie1976]

Ok so maybe they didnt give her a coin (I dont remember) but they were celebrating her 18th month. Like I said in previous posts, Im not going to judge her. Im there for ME not HER. Ive let that go. It was mainly because she stole from my 6 year old daughter at the time that pissed me off being around her. You have a baby right? If someone stole his/her xmas presents wouldnt be a little upset too? I can fogive but Im still a momma and good momma's watch out for their children. Like someone said "the claws come out".
And my mom, she was a RAGING alcoholic while I was growing up, along with coke, pot whatever. My point is that NA and AA dont neccessarily have to work for everybody. But if you think so, thats your choice.

[mom2rachie]

I don't think so.  I'm no expert.  I just think that there is a real differene between someone with a horrible habit, even a habit that lasts for years and years, than someone who is an addict at the very core of their soul.
I do wish everyone sobriety however they find it.  My way is no better than someone else's but AA/NA has worked for millions and is to date the fastest growing "club" there ever was and there has never been any advertisement for it so they must be doing somethng right.
It makes no difference to me if someone chooses to go or not.  It's their choice but all I know is that MY choices got me into trouble and they pretty much sucked so I decided to follow others who have walked the path and succeeded before me.
Your mom might have stopped doing those things but I bet anything in this world she still has alcoholic / addict behaviors and tendancies that have not been dealt with.
If someone messes with your child, it's horrendous.  If it were my child, and yes I do have a daughter, I would want to smash her face in BUT I know better and as hard as it is sometimes, I have been given the gift of tolerance and forgiveness and I cannot turn it on and off when it suits me.  I must practice what I preach in all my affairs no matter how hard it is inside!    

[itsmeagain1]

na gives out a newcomer chip (keytag),30 days,60 days,90days.6 mos,9 mos,1 yr . 18 mos and multiyears

[beachtowel]

That is correct