I find it absolutely incredible that after 16 months of sobriety my cravings can still hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was sitting down reading an amazing book on the journey the father went through as his son struggled with addiction. He began talking about meth and how powerful it is and how awful a drug it is. How it kills and how people will kill on it. I was overwhelmed instantly by thoughts of wanting to use. I was able to fight them off because I have been working the program. It was just a scary reminder of how powerful my addict is. He, after 16 months of stable sobriety, still has the fight in him that is so powerful and so convincing. I however stayed strong through this craving successfully putting him back in his corner. I won't let him win.
There you go THEO! 16 months can turn into 1 day if we don't continue to work the program. The 12 steps have been around for years for a reason. I hate to be a NA preacher, but this crap really works if you give it a chance. I am coming off a nasty bender that took me out for 5 months and I had 200+ days and I can honestly say that I relapsed way before I picked up my first drug. I started reverting back to my old behaviors, the "I have arrived" complex. I was dating way to early in recovery and it almost cost me my a$$. I am 7 days clean today, thank god I had a support network set up otherwise I'd still be out there ripping and running. Those NEVERS and YETS can turn into DIDS in a matter of days. We need to stay vigilante, our addiction is waiting in the shadows.
Hi I want to Congratulate you on 1 Year and 4 Months..that is Awesome.I was just talking about this at a meeting..How can that lil ol Pleasure part of the Brain still play the one track tape over and over..Doesn't it get worn out!!! Why can I not think of Cheerios or a Glass of OJ on some mornings..They did say with in time it does ease up..BUT I guess it never really goes away completely..There will always be some triggers here and there..You are doing great..Lots of time behind you..Way to Go!!!! Ya!!!
Thank you for coming back and posting this experience for us! I need to hear this......it completely amazes me sometimes WHAT will create a trigger in my head......and obviously for you, reading that story about addiction triggered something in your brain...especially if that was your drug of choice.
I've intentionally just spent some time reading thru many, many of our Health Pages that forum members have taken the time to share. One in particular is filled with recovery stories from peeps with ALL different lengths of clean time and another was about relapses.....how, when, what to do, what to watch for, etc.
It SO important to continue surrounding ourselves with other addicts IN RECOVERY.....helping them.....and them helping us. Like garbageaddict said, if you begin to fall into the "I have arrived", "I have this licked" attitude.....you're already in trouble.
I praise you for your 16 months.....for sharing how easily a trigger can pop up out of no where......If you think about it.....we sure kept feeding our addiction on a DAILY basis.....so it only makes sense that we need to feed our recovery on a DAILY basis as well. Cause what we feed will grow.....
We DO have a FEW troopers on this forum with over a year or more that continue to share and support others.....but not very many. I'm SO glad you posted...and hope you'll bop back in more often~
My last mouth watering craving came while i was vacuuming. I had the music blaring which i normally do so i have no idea where it came from. I stopped the vacuum, went to the cupboard, got out my Grandmas molasses and called my sponsor. I eat the molasses as it brings back warm memories of my grandparents house. Corny i know but it helps till i can talk it out. I am coming up on 5 yrs this month. We can never let our guard down~
Congratulations on your clean time. I myself refuse to think about using, it bugs me too. In recovery they say it can trigger people. Don't think about it, read something else. In recovery they also told me to dump all my old friends, all the memories gone. Safer, that way. Never want anything else but staying clean. 19 months now. Always be on guard, protect yourself and go to meetings. We love the meetings, and meet some great people. Pray to God for the obsession to be lifted from you.
Just keep on one day at time...I know you have heard THAT before but it's true...well, for 26 years and 7 months anyway. OK it's not that these thoughts don't reappear after periods of time and goodness knows what triggers them but you are doing so well and will have received some of the joys of being sober so focus on them and not the other...phone your sponsor or a friend who understands where you are coming from or better still try to help someone who is worse off than you....ACTION....that's what my dear old departed sponsor used to shout at me and he was sober 40yrs when he died. God bless....
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