2003 sobriety invitation/challenge concept - we are all off the pills by Jan 1!

[Rex1]

I have been kicking around this idea - please give me your opinions - positive or negative on this concept.

What if.....we all got sober together over the next 4 weeks!!??? That's right everyone on this forum. I believe we could do this for the following reasons:

1) Starting tommorrow - Dec 1st, anyone here still using can start their tapering schedule with Jan 1st as the ZERO usage day - plenty of time for a slow taper.

2) We can each support each other, and report each other's progress here.

3) We can use the holidays as a source of strength, encouragement and as a valid goal.

4) This is (typically for most people anyway) the slowest time of the year work-wise, which will give us time to focus on the plan.

5) When is the worst period for withdrawal? The last week, right? If we all start tommorrow (or next week anyway), that last week will coincide with the break in between Christmas and New Years day, when many of us will be off work, or at least in a work slowdown. Yes, I realize this may be a busier period for some, so for those folks, the rest of us will lend daily support and prayer

6) Finally, this gives us a rock solid goal of Jan 1st, 2003 to reclaim our lives.

Everyone, please tell me if this plan is all wet, or if you think it will work. It will take a tremendous effort for some here to do it, but we agree it needs to be done.

Together, I truly believe each and every one of us can pull this off!

If a large enough group says they like the idea, I'll put together a schedule an post it , and we'll refine the details of the plan.

Rex

[Rex1]

Yes, I am cold turkey right now, so I realize many may will say "Sure, that's easy for you to do, you're already there!".

Well, I still have some mountains to climb! I want next to stop taking everything, I mean no more pills period (other than Vitmains).

For me, that means pitching the Ibuprofren, Excedrin, and Zanaflex I use for my back, and letting my body's natural defenses take over. This will NOT BE EASY.

For those who accept my challenge, I will support you and lead the effort here, while you go walk through the fire.

I will do anything to support you guys when you accept!

But just imagine - WHAT AN AWESOME YEAR 2003 WILL BE if you put your mind to this plan over the next 4 weeks!!!

Rex

[suzieneedshelp]

Great idea REx!
Suzie

[Pinkit]

I think this sounds like a great idea too.  My taper process will be done w/ in 4 weeks too so I'm w/ you and I hope everyone else will be too.  I must use something for my pain though, but my goal will be to use something non narcotic for the pain of endometreosis.  Thanks.
The snow is really coming down today. We're suppost to get 7 to 10 inches today. Geesh!!!  I promised my kids I'd take them sledding today so I'm going to force myself to do it even though I'd like to just sit around and be depressed because I havent had many pills today..  I'm from Michigan, Way up by the Upper Peninsula. Where are you from?
Great schedule We'll all hopefully be clean by the New Year...

[Rex1]

Yeah, I know the term yooper. Are you impressed ;-)?

I am in San Diego, so no snow today. I wish there was - we have to go up to Big Bear or Idylwild to see snow, but it's only 45 minutes so no biggee. Lots of Sun today, as usual!

When I lived in georgia, my neighbors across the street were yoopers, they even had a license plate with YOOPER on it.

Well all I can say is "Gosh yoo all soore getta a lotta sno up a there. That upper Mich is tough to do in web post.

Glad to have you on board, along with Suzie.

Start thinking about recommendations you want to give to everyone over the next week or so. We'll need all the help we can get.

Rex
(75 degrees & Sunny)

[suzieneedshelp]

Thx REx.. i have just been lurkin here lately.  Used to post a lot but got really run away so to speak.  As i said ya'll have no clue wut went  on here but just wait.  I wish i could say it won't happen again to another suffering addict like us, but well maybe i will be pleasantly surprised!  Lets say no more.. Hush is the word!

I am very fearful of withdrawal.  I appreciate your posting of wut is workin for you in Thomas' recipe.  "Esp prayer", i like that!
Thomas is a cool guy.  He has given us all so much with his knowledge!
Okie talk at ya later...
Suzie
P.S. I was born in Kalamazoo, MI but now live in sunny FL since i was 5!

[Rex1]

1) Put the past where it belongs - in the past

2) Born and raised in Miami, Fl. Lived there until I was 22.

I was South Beach, before South Beach was cool...

Rex

[drodone420]

sounds like a good idea,ill go for it

[PING]

i will go with your plan, jan 1st 2003, i am only on 3-10mg a day, i along with most people, will neeed a lot of prayer, i am lucky to have an angel for a wife, she has been with me for 50 yr. i love her very much, and she will pray with me anytime, as long as she know's i am serious, spelling. thanks too all of you.
                                  lee.

[TAD42]

Hello every one I have been lurking for a while. I have been taking vic hp for over a year now, but I only take one a day.I have wanted to quit for some time. The fear of WD scares me to death.I have never taken more than three a day now I only take one a day. I feel like no matter if you take one or 20 a day your still addicted. I want to try your sobriety challenge. I wish for once in my life I could get up with out having to take a pill to get me going. I have prayed for this for so many years to be clean.I always thought moderation justified it. Now I'm down to 1/2 of vic then I will try for 1/4. So I'm game. I know it will take lots of prayers. I will pray for you and we can pray for each other.

[hippy]

hey rex how are you doing, you use theword sober,
when i hear that i think of alcohol , i have not had a drink
since 1984, so i could say i have been sober a long time.
but when it comes to pills percs and vikrs i have been clean
since late march , thanx to the heip he at the fourm and the
receipe, i was claen from 1984 to 1998 from all drugs.
but then i had operations on my rotator cuffs.
one thing that was funny was i always hated the way opates
made me feel, but i wound up addicted to them.
when i was a kid i was a bibig qualude freak and methampetmine
guy. along with two-ee's , pickels, purple -s's.
anyway your idea about everyone getting clean at the same time is great, i think all of us that are not in extreem pain
are all trying to get and stay clean , thats why we are here.
but as we all know it is not as easy as it seems.
to me it always seems like we need divine intervention.
i go to na meetings during the week.
and read the fourm here everyday.
as far as boozze go's i have never had a craving for beer or wine or wiskey, having watched it destroy so many lives in my famly.
the pills i hat to but the withdrawls were always a bithch.
i have read people talk about being addicted to the high, i must say after taking them for a year there was no high anymore ,
i was always just trying to get to the feeling of okay.

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lowolf]

Sounds like a great idea to me!
Been lurking around here for a few months. Battling a 4 year run on oxys, up to 4-80s a day at one point. Vicodin, percocet, any opiate, you name it. Even did liquid morphine and at one point was wearing 2 75mg duragesic patches at once.
I'll try to post from time to time.
Bets of luck to you and everyone else who has accepted your challenge.
I've been to many sites like this and have learned a lot in the last few years.
I really suspect bodymechanic may be correct in his hypothesis.
GL all!

[Lowolf]

One more thing...
One observation I would make is that the FEAR of withdrawals is much greater than the actual w/d. Believe me I know.
When I went through w/d's coming off 320 mg oxy a day I prayed to die. Prayed to God on my knees to please help me. Five minutes later my supplier called. Still not sure what that meant.

[Rex1]

Ok, so I have enough Affirmitives that we will all start tommorrow. What I would like is some advice from you that I can insert into the TAPER PLAN STARTS TODAY message that I post tommorrow (Dec 1).

Since I am not a Dr, any ideas, advice, suggestions that you can give us before we all start as a group will be most appreciated.

My plan is post a taper committment post that encourages people to consider Jan 1st as their Zero day, then work backwards from there. If Jan 1st you're on 0, then what do you want to be on the last week of Dec? This will be different for everyone, right? If your on 10 per day now, then maybe the last week, your on 3/day 2.5/day 2/day 1.5/day 1/day 1/day 5./day, or something like that for someone who is 10/day as of now. Working backward again, what would the 3rd week in Dec look like, maybe 5/day 4.5/day 4/day etc etc etc. You get the idea..

Does that sound reasonable and more importantly "doable"?

Rex

[flashk]

I started weaning off of painkillers after about three years of taking them. I was taking pretty much anything that was available to me. Oxycontin ,Percocet, vicodin and an occasional morphine. I guess I averaged about 40 milligrams a day. I decided I cant live like this anymore. Although,on the other hand I feel like I cant live without them. I used the high from the pills to motivate myself to do everything. Right now I am in a living hell. I have cut down to taking 1 5MG percocet every twelve hrs. I started Sun morning at 1 am. It is now Monday afternoon 1 pm and time for a pill. I have all the symptoms..leg restlessness,runs and the worst anxiety. I have been taking Kava kava which seems to help a little bit with the panic.This forum really helps. Seeing people out that are like me really helps me. The pain from the WD is bad enough but the pain from the anxiety is worse.I dont have Valium or any benzos so I am kind of white knuckling it. I pray and occassionally cry which seems to make me feel a little better for the moment. Well the hot water is probably back from the last hot shower. I think I will take another one. thanks you again for being here.

[Rex1]

Good luck and God's Grace with your tapering.

Rex

[ChiTownGirl]

Hey, I'm with you!  I'll honestly make every effort to get off of these little devils by January 1, 2003.  I am tired of living my life according to how many pills I either have left or are going to get or how much money I have to spend on them.  Its a vicious cycle and am sick of it.  I am currently taking anything and everything I can get my hands on, Vics, T3's, and recently started taking Norcos. I don't have any pain issues, except for some bad teeth that need root canals or need to be yanked out.  I'd rather spend my money on getting pills.  I have come to depend on them so much I swear every few minutes I am thinking about when to take my next pill.  Sad, pathetic life isn't it?  God, I never imagined myself to be so weak and not have the willpower to stay off of these things once and for all.  God Bless you Rex for suggesting a great plan.   I am with you all the way!

[Rex1]

Here's a repost from another thread on the plan: Good luck
--------------------------------------
OK, so I have gotten so many positive responses to the challenge concept, that it is hereby declared a GO! (My follow up post will spell out how to build your taper schedule)

I have given this a lot of thought and here, in my humble opinion, are the key points to keep in mind.

----------------------------------------------------------
2003 SOBRIETY CHALLENGE - HOLIDAY TAPER PLAN -
Dec 1st - Start
Jan 1st (or sooner) - End
----------------------------------------------------------

The idea is that everyone here, as a group, start our tapering plan today, and we support each other in our efforts such that, by Jan 1st, 2003, we are all at a ZERO dosage with our drug of choice.

There are several key points that I have gleaned from everyone here, plus other sources:

1) Accept the fact that you will be in some pain. Deal with it in any way you can without narcotics! Notice that the 2003 sobriety challenge says nothing about being pain free! Accept the fact that you will be dealing with pain without pain killers by the end of the tapering process! There are so many weapons at your disposal - use them all. More on those in a follow-up post.

2) We are powerless over substance abuse - We cannot do it alone! This is the basic premise of AA,NA, ect. Asking for help from a doc, a spouse, or others here is not important - IT IS A REQUIREMENT! We should put our tapering plan down on paper or in a spreadsheet/calendar program and then share it with someone, so we will not deviate from it. I showed mine to my wife and said "Heres my plan, help me stick to it!" Letting a medical professional in on the plan is a great way to build an extra security net, and get advice from a pro, of which I am not.

3) Most (not all) agree that Tapering is easier than cold-turkey! Tell ourselves over and over - "If I don't cut my dose, day over day, week over week, what am I setting myself up for?"
The answer of course is something far worse, like in-patient detox, or a week of cold turkey. Which would we prefer? Tapering must be easier. See my next post for how to do the tapering schedule.

4) Your higher power wants to help. Will you let Him? This is potentially the most controversial subject for some here, so-reminder-this is just my opinion. However, all AA/NA programs use this as their core concept. God wants us to be sober, no? If you beleive that, then He already has a plan for your life, and all you have to do is ASK for help. Prayer works folks - I promise it does, and millions of people swear by it. Remember, in the entire history of mankind, it is only in the last 30 years that America and the world has kicked God out of our lives. Before that God was the underlying reason to be living, and was a key concept in the founding of the United States. In the last 3 decaded though, we have been told we can do it ourselves! And look at where we are, what we have become. God is there for you. Turn to face Him, an ask for help.

5) Use the Thomas recipe - it really works!

6) Do the opposite of what we have been doing while using. If we go to this street corner where our dealers are, do the opposite - go as far away as possible! If we go to three docs in one month, go to ZERO docs in one month. If we use at a friends, well is he our friend? Go somewhere else. In other words - let's throw our narcotics-enabling habits away starting right this instant!

7)Dedicate the month of December to this problem if possible. Think of all the things that we do during the holidays, and let's tell ourselves that unless it ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to do, this month, we're not doing it - NOT adding it to our plate of stuff to do. I know this will be difficult for some. But wherever possible, clear out the **** on your upcoming calendar, and write down the words TAPER TO ZERO in the December calendar in your minds. "This month my number one goal is BECOMING DRUG FREE BY January 1ST!"

8) Once we clear our calendars of unnecessary junk, and focus on Tapering to zero, now we need to stop focusing on it ;-0. Distract your mind and put it on something positive and stress free for you. Exercise, a good book, a movie series, relaxation exercise, ANYTHING! But don't sit around thinking about it, as Methman said "get moving!"

WE CAN SUCCEED TOGETHER GUYS!
------------------------------------------------------------
Think of the following analogy:

We are all in a giant dark pit, each of us having his or her own staircase leading upwards. Each staircase is close to someone elses, but you must climb your own staircase. Some us have staircases that start close to the top and are not steep at all, with easy-to-climb steps. Others have staircases that start almost at rock bottom, almost in pitch black darkness, and start out very steep with hugs steps. And each staircase is ever-changing, with the steps getting larger, then smaller, slippery, then moving left and right, then becoming straight, and easy. Someone may be starting to fall next to you, when their staircase starts moving or gets hairy - catch them and set them to climbing again.

All staircases, though lead to the same door at the top, from which comes this beautiful glistening sunlight, shining like nothing you have ever seen. On the top of the door is a sign that reads "YOUR LIFE". We can see the top and would give everything we own to get there. If we don't start climbing today, we don't move. But we can also see that the steps get easier near the top.

Some of us will not be able to make it up the huge steps without help and encouragement from the others next to us. Helping someone else up their staircase gives you added strength to climb your own, and we all want to walk through the door at the top on Jan 1st, 2003, or sooner. Those that reach that door sooner MUST help the others still climbing, doing everything they can not to fall over the edge, and then have to start over again.

Good luck and God's Power to all - I will have some follow up posts with details on how to build your taper schedule.

Time to reclaim our lives!

GO!

Rex

This is NOT my plan - this is OUR plan - Right?

Rex

[Rex1]

Here's some ideas on how create your taper schedule, keeping in mind that everyone's plan will be different.

Think of two anchor points:
--------------------------------------------------------------
START - Your dosage today
END - Your dosage on Jan 1st - ZERO
(Note, you may want to change the end date to something sooner. If so, build your schedule from today to whatever you pick as your end date)
--------------------------------------------------------------

Rather than think about this upcoming week first, go to Jan 1 and build backwards. You must decide, along with your doctor or person who is helping you, what that last week on your meds will look like, but it should be as low as possible, perhaps 1.5 or 1 pill/drug dose per day.

Example: .5 tablets of Vicodin three times a day.


Here's an example of a Vicodin schedule, again working backwards from Jan 1st, 2003. Adjust accordingly for Percs, Meth, ect!

--------------------------------------------------------------
December 22 23 24 5 26 27 28
--------------------------------------------------------------
dose/day 2 2 1 1 1 1 .5

--------------------------------------------------------------
December 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
--------------------------------------------------------------
dose/day 3 3 2.5 2.5 2 2 2

--------------------------------------------------------------
December 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
--------------------------------------------------------------
dose/day 6 6 5 5 4 4 4

--------------------------------------------------------------
December 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
--------------------------------------------------------------
dose/day 9 9 8 8 7 7 6


OK, so there's an extra 3 days at the end of week 4 where you may want to be effectively at ZERO on these days, where many will be off of work, Dec 29th, 30th, and 31st. But you may need to use the days as a fudge factor, that is, either to accelerate or catch up if your drift from your schedule.

Summary points;

* Plug in your own numbers based on your two anchor points
* Build backwards from Jan 1st, 2003 to today.
* Design your schedule for a very slow taper during the final week
* Share this schedule with someone who will help you/force you to stick to it.
* Please let someone here now that YOU HAVE ACCEPTED! A post to I Accept might be good. That way, your committed....

CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES HERE WITH EVERYONE ELSE!
You will be pleased to see that at the end of every week, you took less than the last week!!! You're winning! you will win!

Please post if you additional ideas, or items that have helped you succeed..

[lisabet]

God - you should be a motivation speaker!  You've even inspired me!  So I'm gonna commit and at least TRY!  The thing that worries me is the mental craving.  I'm not afraid of the physical withdrawals; I know I could tough those out.  I'm just afraid I'm never going to mentally let go of the cravings; that will be the real challenge for me.  I'm so afraid to live life without those damn pills; I've depended on them for so long to numb and self-medicate my emotions. Without them, I'm afraid of actually trying to live life with all of the raw reality and emotions that will come flooding in.  I'm scared to death, but I'm really going to try.  I wish everybody lots of luck. Peace/Love, Lisabet

[Rex1]

I never promised you a rose garden...;-).

Thanks for your courage Lisabet, and please note that I did not have a particularly good day today, but hung in there.

I will need you and the others here for support and I will do everyhting in my power to help you. I couldn't do this alone, but somehow with help I have found here, I can and I am doing it.

One more thing, you are thinking now with your intoxicated condition. I think most here would agree that when you get to the lower doses, clearer thinking will prevail.

As BodyMechanic has been pointing out, that last 5 days are a killer! But it's darkest before the dawn...

What would you give to be free of this **** come January? Just work your schedule and don't think about January - concentrate on today, taking just a little less than you did yesterday.

I will take that as an "I accept" on the challenge then?

We can do this....

Rex

[flashk]

I have been taking one 5mg percocet every twelve hrs since Sun morning at 1 am. I went from taking 8 pillsa day for years to just the one. I have no energy and feel like death. I know that if I give in to the cravings I will just prolong the agony. Please tell me that this horrible feeling is going to get better soon. I cant take it much longer. I am supposed to go back to work tomorrow and I cant. It takes every bit of energy just to put my shoes on. I have been taking Kava, a multi vitamin and Valerian for the restless legs. I took 9 showers between last night and today. What did I do to myself?? I cant wait to be free of this horrible addiction. I am going to beat this with all of your help.
thanks to everyone!

[Opiate_Affair]

I hope you beat it flash!  I know its hard believe me. I went cold turkey on a 50mg a day methadone habit.  I stayed off the methadone but ended up getting addicted to oxy's, which I am trying to wean myself off of now. Its hell. I am trapped for now but slowing working to wean myself off these as well.  

I can tell you this, from my own w/d experience, it does get better with each passing day.  Once you get past the first 2 weeks, the pain and restlessness (restless legs) level off and you should be able to sleep on your own some.  Sleep might remain difficult, but if you exercise, sleep comes easier.  In addition, if you can get up earlier, stay busy, work out in the evening and go to sleep around 10pm, it helps.  It just helps to get on a schedule where you get up earlier, and then workout in the evening.  If you can use a hottub or sauna that helps too!  A steam room is good too.  Sweat the poison out!

The Thomas recipe is suppose to be helpful too, but I have not tried it.  I would be careful about using benzopiazepines due to the addiction liability and risk of siezures associates with these drugs.  But there are other less dangerous drugs that might work as substitutes.  

Meprobate or Vistaril for anxiety
Placidyl for sleep and restless legs

Take it a day at a time, and you will get better. Just don't give in and don't give up!  If you give in and use, you will have to start all over again!  And remember this also, each time you withdrawal it generally gets worse (harder).  So get off and stay clean my friend.  God bless.

Steven

PS - I am NOT your doctor!  See a doctor!!!!!!!!  Anything I contribute here is only my lay opinion, nothing more!!

[lisabet]

Yes - you can take it as a "commitment" - at least I'm gonna try. I'm at my highest dosage right now - 10-12 10/325's a day.  Gonna start tapering again starting today.  Everyone who knows me thinks I'm so damn strong, but the truth is I'm so damn weak, as far as these pills are concerned.  But the recent posts on this board is giving me the encouragement to try.  Rex, you've made me rethink my cynical nature and I'm trying to humble myself through the power of prayer.  Also - Bodymechanic, with his thoughtful and informative posts and non-judgemental posts has helped me immensely. I thank God for this forum, for giving me the opportunity to "open up" - that in itself feels so healing. Although we're all "anonymonous" I feel like we're all in the same "boat"; struggling to try to live a normal life---that in itself gives one the feeling of solidarity with everyone.  Love you all, Lisabet

[shubunkin]

Well, I saw your post and decided to try it. Maybe through reading through the posts it will give me the will power. I have tried in the past with success. I am on Xanax .5mg 3 times a day. I have been on them for about 8 months. I know it seems like a small dose but these things are hell to get off of. And since I just saw your post it may be a little after the first but hopefully I can do it! Thanks Danielle

[S.C.Feen]

Remember, you are the only person who thinks in your mind! Your thoughts and beleifs of the past have created this moment, and all the moments up to this. What you are now choosing to believe and think and say will create the next moment and the next day and the next month & year.!  
You are the power in your world! You get to have whatever you choose to think!
*****Cleaning the mental house after a lifetime of indulging in neg. thoughs (or things) is a bit like going on a diet after a lifetime of indulging in junk food. They both can often create healing crises. As you begin to change your physical diet, the body begins to throw off the accumulation of toxic residue, and as this happends, you can feel rather rotten for a day or two. So it is when you make a desision to change the mental thought patter- your circumstances can begin to seem worse for awhile.
Recall for a moment the end of thanksgiving dinner. The pan is all burnt and crusty, so you put in hot water and soap and let it soak for a while. then you begin to scrape the pan. Now you reallly have a mess; it looks worse then ever. but, if you just keep scrubbing away, soon you will have a pan as goos as new.
It's the same thing with cleaning up dried- on crusty mental patterns. when we soak it with new ideas, all the gook comes to the surface to look at. Just keep doing the new affirmations, and soon you will have totally cleared an old limitation!

[Rex1]

Congratulations to anyone who accepted the 2003 challenge - your second week is now complete and you are half way there.

For many you may be starting to feel better, and you can see that this will work for you. Also, don't worry if you have fallen behind a little - just continue to cut your dosages.

Two weeks to go, and clearer thinking should already be eveident if you have indeed cut your dose in half.

Again, if you did accept the challenge I would REAALLY appreciate you posting your result here - good or bad!!!!!!!!!


Way to go - look back at Dec 1, and look at your dosages today -you are winning, you are doing it...!
Rex

[shubunkin]

Well, I have cut my doses of Xanax back from three .5 mg a day to 2 and 1/4 of a pill. My head seems a little clearer but I do feel the anxiety and chest and neck tightness but I hold my head towards heaven and pray that the good Lord will get me through this. I curse the day that doc gave me these pills without giving me any info on them. After the first week it was too late. Could not stop. Good luck and much will power to all of you!

[ChiTownGirl]

Ive been able to cut my 15-20 VIC ES day habit down to 2-3 Norcos, and hopefully within the next 2 weeks down to nothing at all.   Thanks a bunch REX for starting such a great opportunity for everyone to be involved in tapering/quitting by JAN1st.  It is a wonderful idea, you are great!   ctg.

[Rex1]

You deserve the credit not me.

Please post your progress with everyone here. Once you break free, in many ways, it is a rebirth of sorts.

You'll love it, at least most parts of it.

Rex

[flashk]

Thanks to everyone here I have 4 days clean today. It has been a wide awake nightmare most of the way. Everyone here deserves some of the credit for me being free from this opiate prison. I wish everyone the best with their decision to escape before the first of Jan.

[Rex1]

Flash,

It is so much better when you get here - 25 days tommorrow.

Pain is subsiding, back still acting up a little. Sleeping more. Anxiety less. Depression less.

Brighter days are ahead, for those that can perservere.

Go out and buy yourself some rock-em sock-em robots, open it early and go to town. Just tell yourself you are not goin back no matter what and no matter how tough the drugs are you are tougher.

Good luck and God's Grace,

Rex

[flashk]

9 days today! Thanks to everyone. I still cant sleep but that isnt a bad consolation prize for choosing door number 2.

[flashk]

Just wishing everyone a Happy Holiday and New Year. I feel pathetic sometimes counting days... I have 12 today. Some days are better then others but I feel better overall. I have miles of gratitude to everyone that reached out when I needed a hand.
-flash

[FaraBell]

C96 FaraBell
(27-Dec-02)  . Hello To All- First, I just want to say what a terrific site this is. It really allows people with Vicodin addictions to express themselves and allow others in, whereas in "the real world", that can not easily be done. Others who do not struggle with this just don't understand it. People who have an addiction such as this one NEED to talk about it because nobody really likes who they are while they are doing this. Maybe they do in the beginning (remember when it used to be fun once?!) but as they continue on that bumpy road, surely that will change. I mean, who ENJOYS downing 30-40 pills a day or MORE? I certainly didn't. Well, in the beginning, it was great. Here is a pill that allows me to be a Social Superwoman. I can do anything AT ALL....just as long as I have a few extra pills in my pocket. I started taking hydrocodone 7.5 for herniated disks in my lower back. Then, I just damn well enjoyed the way they made me feel. And so I graduated. I moved onto the 10/325mg. That was good for a little while UNTIL I discovered they make 15/325mg. I was taking about 20 a day-7 just to get out of bed and start my day. Finally, when I went to the island of Jamaica and, instead of enjoying the fun and sun, I was worried about my pill supply running out and I could not get out of bed before taking 6 pills to remove the withdrawl symptoms that were there lingering, waiting to attack me within the hour, I finally HAD IT with these "white devils". I got home from Jamaica on a Saturday and I checked into a 7 day inpatient detox on that Monday. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. They had me on a methadone detox which helped me somewhat. I was still sick for the first 3 days but NOTHING compared to what I would have been like had I done it alone at home. I know this from prior attempts on my own. I went into the detox on 11/11/02, got out on 11/19/02 and started outpatient groups 5 days a week on 11/22/02. I am currently in the outpatient group but now I go 3 days a week so that I can work a few days a week as I get to know the "me without pills". I haven't known that side of myself in a loooonnng time. And more importantly, I AM CLEAN and FREE. Because as long as you continue to take these pills, you are never free, never your own person. You make no decisions, the pills decide everything in your life for you. Everything! There are now some days I feel good and others I feel really bad. And it's on those bad days I hear my addiction calling me to it, trying to entice me back in. Those days are some of the hardest I have ever had to deal with. I never thought I would be able to get off of the Vic's in the first place and now here I am, clean for over a month. So, what keeps me from succumbing when those pills scream my name, you ask? Here's my secret: think of the things in your life that you want to happen and think of the things that are really and truly reachable and tangible. Think about the way you want to be towards your family and friends. Think about what you'd like to bring to the table in the relationships in your life. What do you want to offer to them? What would you like to be able to give back to these people? Well, once you stop taking those pills, you will be able to do the things you want to do, be the way you want to be, give back to others what they give to you, and aboveall, you will actually be pleasant to be around. Even-tempered! Imagine that one?! It will not happen overnight, it will happen slowly but SURELY. Hey, you didn't start out popping 20-30+ pills a day, did you? You had to work up to it. And if you committ yourself to this, you will work up to the point you want to be at. And with each passing day, you will feel better and better. Some days might feel like the end of the world, but that's life. THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS LIKE when you live it normally, without any mood-altering substances. And although sometimes it sucks, it still feels great...to FEEL again. I will be more than happy to help anyone of you and to answer any questions you may have, whether it's about addiction OR recovery. It all goes hand in hand. And remember, the only way you can successfully quit is if YOU want to do it and YOU-yourself- have had enough of living in hell. You cannot "do it for" your wife, husband, kids, sister, nephew, mother, etc...it is ALL ABOUT YOU!! Thank you for reading about my experience. Remember that every day is a journey...and a gift. Stick around and see what's in store for you!!