28 Days Clean-but worried about temptation on vacation...

So it's been 28 days clean from the vicodin/percocet addiction. I'm feeling better, improved mood, and such. Now that I don't have my doc's though, I'm finding I get pretty lonely these days. But that isn't the main concern. I'm visiting some friends this weekend, friends who *always* have some sort of doc hanging around, and always willing to share. I don't have any cravings right now but when I get put face to face with it, I'm worried I will cave. Any ideas on how to politely refuse without offending? I haven't been around any narcotics the whole time I've been getting clean, so this is really a big concern for me.

[IBKleen]

Congrats on your 28 days. One of the first things I learned was that I needed to change people, places & things. I do not go to places where there are drugs and I don't associate with people who do drugs. This is something you may want to consider before going.

The temptation is great and at 28 days I do not believe you are anywhere near ready to be around it. I am almost 3 years clean this go round and I could do it, nor would I want to.

I hope you think it over before you put yourself in jeopardy.

[dominosarah]

Oh man this just gave me the shivers......I couldnt imagine putting myself in that situation.  Your clean time is sacred and you need to do whatever it takes to protect that.  If you go i would make dam sure they know where you stand and everything they have is out of sight.......Please think this one over real carefully.

Congrats on the clean time!!!

[igotthis508]

ive tried the same thing. i went 42 day before and hung out with my old friends,being around the temptation is hard and i ended up caving. now  6 months later and im worse than i was before quitting. i know its hard but you have to think of whats more important to you. is it really worth getting high then youll have to got through w/d allover again . its not worth it. be strong youve done great so far i know you can do it.

[jjbird]

I agree with previous posts that it will be difficult. And if you end of caving you will start back at day 1 from what I have been told or could go back to using. I have a friend that used alot....the one that got me started but she has quit now. But now she is able to take one in blue moon and not go back to where she was or have withdrawals from just taking one but at sometime this isnt the case. Some people can never do that and honestly she could be lying to me. So if you go on trip tell them BEFORE you get there that you dont want any. That way its in there head already.

[bkjay18]

just think of those terrible sleepless nights of withdrawing!!!! nd ask ur self if your ready to go thru that again

[gnarly_1]

HI and congrats on 28 days clean.....this is a tuff one....im 320 days clean and dnt think I could do what your talking about doing....ebven if the stuff is out of sight just the fact that everyone is going to be high around you is enough to make somebody cave
IF there is anyway of getting out of this I would if I could....this is really dangerous ground here....the only way I would go is if you tell them your a recovering addict and cant be around pills weed alcohol AT ALL and it will make the difference of you being able to come or not..so if they can handle a sober weekend go if not your risking your sobriety more then you know...please think long and hard about this one...good luck and God bless....Gnarly    

[pillfree21]

If you do happen to go anyway, (which I would not recommend) at least go knowing that this could be a breakthrough opportunity for you to build a wall betwen you and your DOC.  Most of us admit that we could not do it, but every once in a while a special time comes in your life where you can be around your past DOC and resist it.  It happened with me and some previous addicitions, like alcohol and cocaine.  I abused them to the hilt but one day came where I just was able to resist, it took a long time for me to be around them and resist, but the day came.  I look forward to that day with pills, but it is not here for me.

I am not encouraging you to do by no means, but I know how sometimes people are going to do what they are going to do, so I wanted to put something on your mind to help you think about staying clean when you get there.  Good Luck, this could be your breakthrough weekend, or at least one of them.

[dominosarah]

Are you going?

[Storme]

I know this is a tough choice. I have a twin sister who is on my DOC for pain and she lives very close to me and we are still very close to each other. She knows how easy it would be for me to cave so she always keeps her pills far, far out of sight. It is just enough for me to know she is there, and she has them that keeps me away from her home now and I am 61 days clean. I know that if the thought of going to her house can make me want to cave, then I am definitely NOT ready to face her or anyone else who has my DOC or uses. You need to truly reconsider going to your friend's place this weekend. In writing your concerns here, you know full well that it may cause you to cave in. You don't want to go through withdrawals again. Look how far you have come already! Either tell them you need the drugs far away from you or tell them politely that you can't be there please!!

[lesson_learned]

@ Storme that's awesome 61 Days woot! Good for you! I decided I am going. But we already talked via phone about this. She respects my decision to not use anymore, and won't around me. This is good, since I can still have a great time. Plus I am meeting someone next week too! Little nervous about that! I guess all these emotions are difficult to get a handle on without the crutch of opiates. It's like that for everyone. Thanks everyone for your support, I appreciate it truly.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Just remember that it only takes ONE pill to ruin you and your clean time. Enjoy your visit but be very careful. Very few people could attempt to do what you are planning.
Let us know how it goes. Better yet, stay on the forum while you are there.

[dominosarah]

Please be very careful.  Your mind will play some serious games with you.....keep your guard up and let us know how it goes.......sara

[lesson_learned]

I know that's why I've got a back up place to stay too. If I'm feeling tempted to blow oxys I will definitely be logging in!! I will stay in touch while I'm gone. Thanks again :)  My mind....yea I'm worried if i -see- people doing it, then I will want

[dominosarah]

Just be safe lesson~~~~

[lesson_learned]

Thanks, Sarah :)  
I'm actually also debating attending n/a meetings. Does anyone go here? If so do you find it helpful? I guess my concern is that if I talk about use a lot, it is sort of a trigger for me. Last night I had a dream about putting my fingers in a hydrocodone bottle -_-. Oy.

[IBKleen]

I do attend meetings but I do not go to meetings where they talk war stories. I isn't what they are about. I go to be around people who are in recovery and can help show me how to live life on life's terms.

If you go a meeting and you find it is uncomfortable, try another one. Keep an open mind and it may be something that will help you.

[Back2Me]

What do you mean "how do you politely refuse"??????
Ever heard the word NO. To me that sounds very weak. Just look at that comment. Who in the hell CARES what they think??? You should never run your life worried about what people think! The biggest thing and the ONLY thing that matters is what is best for YOU. **** I've told friends, family and whoever to get f'd if they didn't like something i was doing. As long as you know you are doing right. And I still don't talk to them today! It was not all about drugs either. You just have to stand up for your weak self. Because NOTHING is as important as STAYING your *** CLEAN! NOTHING. You tell them you don't want that **** around you at all. That you don't want to see it or hear anyone talk abou it. Trust me. I'm on my like 6th relapse. I would KILL to be at 28 days like you!

[bucksfan]

Lesson_learned, I think you read the post a little wrong as I did at first. I dont think he was jumping down your throat but more just trying to build up your courage/strength to say NO with authority. You are right, as long as you say NO that is what matters, just make sure you say it!! Good Luck and I am not to far behind ya, cant wait til I get to 30 days!

[lesson_learned]

Good luck to you bucksfan, hold strong! You will be there soon! I'm still going strong at 33 days. Life without narcotics is so worth it. We deserve true happiness!

[lesson_learned]

I understand your frustration. But I reserve the right to refuse however I so wish it. I do not need someone badgering me on how to do it, thank you. I deserve more respect that that. Not to be rude, but I am just fed up with guys telling me what to do. It pisses me off! That's another thing that is changing since I'm more empowered and embracing my true self. I'm quite capable of steering clear, just wanted to get out my thoughts on the matter. You will get there too, remain strong, and get right back up.  More importantly, if you see any drugs run the other way!! That is what I do =)

[LeaAnn807]

Hey!  I am glad you have made it this far and doing well.  The thing about meetings is that you have to find one that suits you.  A lot of people like the stories and pill talk.  I DO NOT!  I had to find one I was comfy with, or I would not have been too good about going.  I also had a trigger problem in that the times I went to rehab, they took us to these meetings that were just.....unreal!  I don't know how else to put it.  The talk was awful!  I sat there and craved the whole way through it!!!!!!!!  I refuse to go to a meeting like that again, EVER!

[FassFeat]

What ever you decided to do, it sounds like you came through it just fine. From the tone of your last post, I can tell you will make it and you are going to correct more than just addiction issues. Congrats on being so resolved and strong. I am proud of you and am looking very much forward to day 33. Big shout out.

[gnarly_1]

HEY Lesson.....how was your weekend??? your still clean so it must have went pritty well
did you have to come face to face with people using ?? or was it just a casual weekend with some friends...sometimes the most unevent filled weekends are best just to kick back with some friends and relax.....im Glad you made it threw clean congrats on that...and I agree with you it doesnt mater how we go about saying no just so we do it...I try not to offend people ether ............Gnarly

[lesson_learned]

I guess the problem with me, is that I'm also one who does not like the pills talk and the nearly bragging about how much one did, or how bad it was before they got help. I want to be in the here and now, you know? So I get how you feel about that too. Just explaining to people how I tapered kinda triggers me. I feel like that guy in the cigarette commercial, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette,............. SHARKKKKKK! SHARKKKK! I've discovered its important to know what your triggers are. Talking and Seeing are mine.

[lesson_learned]

Hey Gnarly, I steered away from friends using, by leaving while they were doing lines. So the offer wouldn't be able to present itself. With everyone intently staring at me and my friend extending a straw my way. :/  I will have to be careful this weekend also though yikes!

[chronicmistake]

Don't  go!!!  You need new friends to hang out with.  Why put yourself in that situation.  RIght now you think you will be strong but when the DOC is in front of you the addict takes over and you can't think straight.  Before you know it you have messed up your great start to sobriety.  stay home and treat yourself to a spa day and a pajama day with movies.

[LeaAnn807]

I agree with you completely!  You are probably like me.  I had to seek out a meeting where there was more of the positive talk.  I wanted to move on....not relive every moment of what made me miserable to start with.  I NEEDED to do it, but I also needed to find a place where I felt I was moving forward.  

If you look enough, you may find it.  You may just need to talk to a pastor/priest or go to speak with a therapist one on one.  There is no magic cure and no "one size fits all" when it comes to recovery.  Find what works for YOU!  That is all that matters, right? : )

[bkossak]

The best solution man would be just to not put yourself around that stuff...regardless of what religional denomination you believe in the saying "bad associations spoil useful habits" is true in any way shape or form...if you put yourself around that kind of stuff you will be tempted to do it. And please don't take that the wrong way, they could have the greatest hearts in the world just have bad habits.

But the WD's are over man, even if you just did it once if you go on the vacation. its still considered a relapse, and it will numb your resistance to the temptation of them. Keep yourself as far away from those pills as humanly possible

You can do it and you can stay clean

[gnarly_1]

HI IF THEIRS LINES IN THE BUILDING YOU DONT NEED TO BE IN IT....I know its hard when its friends or family but your sobriety has to come first and if your that close to it your going to be having a bad day and your going to use....most of us can walk away from it on a good day but not when your addiction is tugging at you....and it will we all get those days if your in a house where someone is cuting up lines and using that is way to much of a temptation for any one of us...like I said it might not be today but eventually it will bulldoze you please lissen to me on this one...your doing so good but on the same note your exposing yourself to things that will bring you down...your going to have to change your playmates and playground for this to work long term...it takes a commitment when I quite drinking and smoking weed 5yrs5mo ago I lost all my friend at the same time...I use to shoot pool every tue and sat night drink and get all smoked up when I quit I could no longer even go to a pool hall to this day I still dont go the whole shooting pool thing is a trigger for me so I had to make new friends...clean friends it took a wile but now I have a social life again and I dont jeopardize my clean time by going around people that use...I just cant im not strong enough....I get uncomfortable going to wedding receptions any where there is alcohol its a trigger for me and thats after 5yr5mo I dont think its ever going to go away...narcotics is a whole nother can of worms....I cant be around pills at all...if I see a prescription bottle on the night stand it is to much of a temptation for me
I have my wife keep it out of my sight...for me out of sight out of mind works and thats after 324 days clean....dont under estimate addiction it is cunning and baffling it will take you down any chance you give it...please dont put yourself in these situation nothing good is going to come out of them...I wish you all the luck in the world with youir recovery but in order to to this your going to have to make some hard choices good luck and God bless.......Gnarly          

[Back2Me]

No doubt. Get some new friends. It's much easier when you are around a completely different class of people that don't use and have a healthy lifestyle.

[lesson_learned]

Ok guys I'm here in the lion's den but everyone is being cool and respectful :) So I just wanted to update and here I am!

[lesson_learned]

So I'm complettteellly screwed because I walked into a room full of smoke. People were f*king smoking stupid WEED. I froze for a moment with absolute sheer TERROR, before I realized then BOLTED right the hell out of there. Someone came after me and asked me what was wrong I explained DUH I'm ******* SOBER! THAT is what is wrong! I don't do DRUGS of ANY kind. Been sober 36 days, they said just don't do it I said I won't made that very clear. So I went in the bathroom and, yes this sounds
dumb but, put some tp in my nose so it couldn't get in my system. I went back in 10 minutes later STILLLL smelled, I left again to "get some food." then came back.
So basically I'm freaking out because I am scared ******** this will end up showing it's ugly face on my urine test, which I could get anytime no warning. That's how it works. I'm totalllllyy freaking out. Now I don't need to hear the "I told you so crap" that will not prove useful in any way,shape,or form. I made it CLEAR to this person to NEVER smoke around me again, I wasn't even respectful I was ANGRY about it. I don't want this blown over stupid f*cng weed. PATHETIC! I obviously know not to do that again, but truth be told not like I warned them I was coming or whatever, but I did tell them before I came I can't do that anymore. So it's not like they meant to, and they respect I don't but because I breathed it in it's gonna show up. HELPPPPP! I know people are gonna say well u walked into it shoulda known better blah blah. Yeah, I get that. I just need some info on how this works, I didn't do it so will it show up? Man I'm screwed..some people out there on here will probably laugh about it. Not even sure my addiction recovery thing matters now, does this set me back to freeakin day 1 because of this?

[IBKleen]

YOUR recovery is not up to anyone but you. The world is not going to stop because you are in recovery....I know that sounds cruel and it is not meant to be. By continuing to go places where there "might be" drugs you are setting yourself up and putting unrealistic expectations on others. You need to make the changes and stop expecting others to do so.

[dominosarah]

Noone is going to laugh lesson.  This isnt funny at all.

I remember when i was using and had someone that was in recovery walked in i could of cared less.  My drugs were what was important.  I had a screw them attitude.  I had no respect for anyone else cuz i had no respect for myself at that time.  You are going to have to stay away from them.  Take care of you as noone else will do it.

This wont set you back to day 1.  Try and calm down.  Just dont put yourself in those situations again.........sara

[gizzy32]

Well said IBK.

[lesson_learned]

Look Clean, I'm NOT asking the world to stop for me. What the heck did I post to make YOU think that?!! I'm asking for advice not asking for people to BADGER ME. I think I made it pretty clear that I did NOT expect them to do ANYTHING! So I feel you are out of line here. And your probably just going to keep this going. But seriously. I tried wording it RESPCTING their lifestyle. Last time I wrote this respecting them someone jumped on me about being respectful! Is there anyway I can say things without someone being a smarta**???

[lesson_learned]

Obviously, I should have just kept this to myself. Now I know next time I should since I'm just going to get rude responses form people. I'm just trying here like everyone else. I am NOT a person to expect the world to change its tune for me. FAR FROM IT.

[dominosarah]

Noone is trying to upset you lesson......We really do understand what you are going thru.  Try and calm down.  IBK has been thru he!! and back and she knows what she is talking about and she is in NO way being mean or disrespectful.  She wants you to continue on your road to recovery just as i do.      sara

[Punkinhead75]

"I made it CLEAR to this person to NEVER smoke around me again."   That is asking someone else to change to suit my needs.  People here suggested that you reconsider not going to this place and you decided to go anyway.  Now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.  I'm glad you made it back without using, that is a great thing.  I wouldn't start counting over.  Things happen in recovery.  Some good and some seemingly bad.  For me the trick has been to learn from them.  I don't know what your situation is regarding the random drug tests.  If you aren't sure if it is in your system you can get a test from a pharmacy and check it out yourself.  Sometimes we have to get beat up a little before we become willing to listen to others.  I sincerely wish the best for you and your recovery!!!!!!

[laurel453]

Lesson... i really think that what IBkleen told you was not rude ...maybe you are so upset with yourself now and worried about the drug test that you took her words the wrong way but it is true... we need making life changes, we are in charge of making them not the others. This is not being disrespectful at all is telling a big truth...The good thing is that you didn't used :)

[Ballgame]

You won't test for just smelling it.

[Ballgame]

Any updates?

[flanman]

remember why you quit in the first place, and dont think that you can just do it once or twice cause that has ruined my sobriety a hundred times, Keep your head up just think of how hard they were to get off.  Take care steve