29 days sober and living life.

Tomorrow will make exactly one month that I've been a member here on MH, and most importantly it marks that I've taken my life back for the past month as well. You all have been an inspiration, but let me tell you this ride doesn't stop here where I currently am in my sobriety.

The pain is still there. Most of you know that I have legitament pain issues, as this has been justified by several different doctors on more than one occasion. I've made an appointment for a third opinion at the end of the month and I'm praying that this appointment will bring me the answers in which I've been seeking when it comes to what I'm in need of doing without resorting to the pills that inevidebly made me another person for almost two years straight.

I feel weird, because I still haven't really had any cravings for the pills. I know that this day will come sooner or later but for right now, I stand firm with my words when I tell each and every one of you that I have yet to have a craving to take another pill. My sleep is back to normal, and let me be the first to proudly say that I've lost 23 pounds since I flushed the last of my percocet script down the toilet exactly a month ago today. I think that most of you new members here on MH will find that even though this will be one of THE hardest things you'll ever do, it will also be the greatest thing you'll ever do as well.

The only truly hard thing that I've had to face over the past few weeks is seeing so many great people come and go from the forums here. Some people I've met and have stayed in touch with almost daily -- But it's hard to do this because they're slipping. Is this normal to feel remorse and sadness for other people when going through your recovery?

[gabby4405]

I am so happy for you, I am sitting here crying my eye out because I want to be where you are so bad.  I was doing good tapering and I screwed up twice in the last 3 days I have a verey physical job and hurt myself at work but really its the anxiety and emotinal pain that keeps tripping me up I went through major depression and anxiety in the last 2 weeks cutting my usual in half.  I know I need to just continue to suffer my way through but I have to be able to function I can't take time off work again.

[outotown]

im proud of you, i remember when you frist came on, and we chatted on IM, you have came along way and seem so confident now congrats and good luck Aaron

[peaceinknowing]

You're in the same spot I was when I first signed up for the forums here, so don't beat yourself up over what you're doing. I haven't been on the forums every single day like I used to, but I've been extremely busy with work and life all together. I thought that I couldn't take off from work either, but I did. It was the only way that I could get through what I knew I was going to be facing. A lot of the WD is emotional and a mental thought in your head. A lot of times it helps to read other peoples' stories, but I had to learn the hard way that sometimes it's best to keep in mind that you're going to get through it rather than just scaring yourself to death.

When I first came here to MH for help, I thought I was going to die from going through the WD. I'll be completely honest with you, I didn't go through a lot of what some members have posted about. The worse part of my WD was the RLS at night and not getting the amount of sleep that I'd been so used to over the past couple of years and before that... You have to get through this.

Are you doing your tapering method through the assistance of a doctor? I quit the Percocet CT without the assitance of my PCP or any other medications. The ONLY thing I used during my at home detox was bananas -- Which helped me with the RLS I was going through so many nights.

Please... You have to keep in mind that nothing negative comes from getting sober off of pain killers. You have to believe me on this. I'm living proof.

[peaceinknowing]

I agree with you love.. I have come a very long way since the first few days I posted here on the forums. I owe a lot of this to my will power I knew I had stored away somwhere in my heart and soul... But I also owe a lot of this to the amazing people here who didn't bring me down and instead showed me tough love AND held my hand through a lot of my WD process.

[gabby4405]

Thank You I am so happy to see someone on the other side it is so sad to see people stuck on methadone or suboxone it makes it look impossible to be truely clean and that is what I want to be truely clean.  I have been through this before and it was a long haul from 7 years without a break and here I am again I feel so stupid for getting my self in this all over again! Oxycontin is what I am tapering off and I am using percocets to do it, and trust me it was like going to nothing and then I mess up and due the oxy again because I am so depressed I feel like I am loosing everything and I hope I can pull it all together before I due.

[peaceinknowing]

Are you doing any of this through the assistance of a doctor or is this something that you're taking on by yourself? A lot of people think that CT is the worse way to go, but like I sai before everyone is different. I didn't think that I'd be able to do it after being on the pills for so long and at a daily usage basis -- But here I am being able to type to you and telling you that it IS possible.