2nd Day at Work

[loveandlight05]

Well, I made it for day #2. I just keep having these waves of sadness come over me. It's one of those "never know what you've got until it's gone" type of things. I bitched all of the time about different aspects of teaching, and now that I am on the verge of losing the ability to teach forever, I feel like a fool.

Don't get me wrong: I will still fight like hell to teach my license. But there is a good chance that won't happen, and it just makes me sad. On the flip side, thought, today has gone OK. No one has asked to meet with me yet. I have an appointment with my doctor for counseling after school today, and then I am off to a group meeting at 5:30. I keep saying that line from 28 days in my head: "It works if you work is. It's worth it!"

[lindaloutara2]

LuLu, you are awesome! Just had to throw that in there.  It doesn't matter what happened, what matters is that you are reaching out for help. Sometimes we have to be knocked down in order to get back on track and it could always had been worse. It ***** while its happening but you will learn and grow tremendously from all of this.

[Ejm7263]

So proud of you. Like said above the AA big book may call this a disease but when is the world going to admit. Never, because they would honestly have to look at themselves, lol. Everyone needs the 12 steps for something.
As I sit here with no nursing license thinking about the day I surrendered it. I thought is was the worse day of my life, ha. Then I sat down on the couch & started begging to die. Now with only 20 days I'm seeing all the benefits. They may, at some point, give me license back. They may not.
I had to admit to myself I was not fit for duty. The second I admitted to myself everything I did I was glad something stopped me from working.
Hardest thing ever. I posted you the AA book promises. They are coming true. So proud of you.  

[Jinx_777]

try to stay positive.  negative thinking will only make it harder.
easier said than done, i know.  you know what you have to do and that is work on yourself.  
if down the road they try and take your license you can fight that it is a disease. but, that may never happen.  believe me, i have seen much, much worse and they kept their jobs.  
at worst, they will make your life hard so you will quit.  keep yourself together so that doesn't happen.  stay strong.  

[lulu747]

As I understand it, addiction is becoming a valid disability in the US and Canada.  I don't think you are going to lose your license.  Do you have any idea how many people struggle with addiction?  Too many to count.  As long as you just focus on your recovery and stay sober, you are going to be great!
My favourite saying is this
If you take care of yourself, the rest takes care of itself.
You really need to stop bad mouthing yourself, especially in your own head.  Our thoughts become our actions, and our actions become our lives.
You need to nip that sh*t in the bud.
You are human and you are beautiful.
You made a mistake and you are taking responsibility for it.
So please STOP beating yourself up.
If you don't treat yourself with love and respect, no one else will.
And you DESERVE love and respect!!!  OK??
Ok.
Love,
Lu

[Pat1956100]

This makes me angry.  When is addiction going to be recognized as a disease?  If you had cancer (God forbid) wouldn't they help you?
Yes, what you did was wrong but I think most addicts understand.
If you are getting help, attend meetings and could pass drug tests, why wouldn't you be able to teach again?
Fight hard sweetie.  
Hugs

[msdelight]

Everything in life happens for a reason. Stay on God's path and trust it. Look for the blessings which always accompany lifes problems.  Sometimes bad situations can turn out for good.  You just don't know what's going to happen.  Nobody does.  So why dwell on it? The only thing in this world that you can control is you, so strive toward that. Your detox and clean time is going great in spite of all that is at stake here.  I'm so proud of you! So hope your day wasn't too bad today.  Keep holding your head up, and follow the path with grace and strength. Keeping you in prayer.

[newoutlook12]

Wow you have come far in your thinking process in just a few days proud of you keep on the path of beating this thing.  I promise you the more you keep positive and keep staying clean the better things will turn out for you.  Leave the rest in gods hands he'll be so good to you the harder you fight to stay clean the harder he will try to make sure everything else in life comes together for you.  You really have come far in so little time just keep it up and hey forgive yourself for what you have done you'll feel so much better trust me!

[Merri123]

I always say not to stress over what may happen. All you can do is stay sober, keep up with your counseling and outpatient sessions, work the program. And stay positive and strong. Make a plan. Follow through.

Have you gotten a lawyer? What does he/she say?

[motye51]

Lol...i remember that movie and its true. Its a program for people who work it, not that want it! Keep your head up, dont ever think u are alone b/c there are alot of good people like u in the same boat! Keep steady....when your head starts running, ask your higher power to help, he always does. Charging forward ONLY!

[lindaloutara2]

What happened>Why are you on the verge of loosing your license?