2nd day from1.4 mg...NEED HELP

[NeedHelpNow321]

Hello.  Any support or help would begreatly appreciated.  I am 34 yo lady who used heroin for 4 years.  I got on methadone 6.5 years ago and my life changed for the better.  

I was at 30 mg for like maybe a year but it literally made me high and sick. So I went down to 15 mg for a little bit then 5 mg for th epast 4 years.  I went to 2.5 mg very easily for awhile.  On Monday I went to @ 1.4 mg and felt like I hadnt taken any at all.  I did that until Wednesday and thought, f^^^ this and just stopped.  

During the 1.5 mg days, I cried had panic attacks and very very strong urges to just give up!! Same way I feel now.  I woke up in a panic this morning.  I called into workthis morning bc I just couldn't.  I have been taking a cople 7.5 hydro to be able to get up and calme down.  I am very healthy and very emotional person anyway.  Methadone never really numbed my feelings.  I am so scared right now.  I just feel so emotionally depressed and I am just a wreck emotionally.  I have a couple valium and I take like half during these extrme panic attacks I have.  The panic attacks are what are getting to me.  Every couple hours I freak out literally.  

ALso, to add, my methadone never held me 24 hours when I was at 5 mg.  I have felt horrible waking up the past many years.  

ANy advise or support or stories would help so so much.  Thanks.

I have a full time job, husband, 12 y/o, and a bunch of dogs:)  

[gnarly_1]

hi......well first off your low enough to quit  as for coming off methadone it can be done  I was one 150mg for around 7rs  took me 8 1/2 mo to taper off  with methadone alot has to do with how long you wher on it when comingg offthe longer the use the harder it is  most will recover in aroud 90 days the phyical part will be over in a week to 10 days keep posting for support...............................Gnarly

[SmilingBright]

Slow deep breaths.  You can do this !!

Praying for u!!!
Christina

[NeedHelpNow321]

Thank you for your replies.  It is 4:15 where I am.  I fell asleep at @ 10 pm with a lil help.  No methadone though.  I am freezing but it is not cold in my house, I checked the thermometer.  

My mental state is not well.  I was hoping I would wake up and feel better but have not.  

I am trying not to be a downer andbe positive but this is hard.

[Jade59]

Hi there...marycarmel mentioned Valarian Root.  Please get some...450mgs.  She is absolutely right, it works just as well if not better than a benzo w/o the side effects.  Also get some Magnesium and L-Theanine.  These are Amino Acids that work well together.  Also a Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc combo.  There is no need to suffer so badly; these supplements work very, very well for this type of anxiety.  You feel like you're buzzing inside, yes? These will help, I promise.  It would be best to get away from the Hydro and Valium for sure, as they will prolong your  nightmare.  

Keep hanging tight, it will get better soon!  I recently went thru the same anxiety, and what you'll find is, today you feel like it will never end, then tomorrow you are waking up and you've turned the corner, it can happen that fast.  

Deep breath and stay strong!

[VICourageous]

How are you doing???Since this afternoon????

[SmilingBright]

Positive thoughts will get u a long way!!!  Try not to think of what might happen.  Cause what of it doesn't happen.  You know?

For me ....  I actually did really really well the first few weeks off of methadone.  The last week or so I've been really anxious and somewhat depressed.  But learning how to deal w certain things that come
Up.  I am extremely OCD and of u let yourself u can drive yourself crazy thinkin of all the things that might Happen.  Heck I still drive myslef crazy sometimes w anxious thoughts.  

You can do this!!!  I think u had a nice long slow taper.  Slow and steady wins the race.  The anxiety is no fun.  But I found keeping busy, excercising if I could make myself , praying and the forum.   All helped tremendously!!!  


Think good postive thoughts!!!  I can't stress that enough!! I know it's hard and I know sometimes all you can think are bad thoughts.  But u can do this!!!!!!!!

[marycarmel]

I've no experience with methadone but do get anxiety attacks.  Valerian root has helped me a lot and it's all natural.  It works at least as good as Ativan for me.

[NeedHelpNow321]

Still holding on by a thread and have been since Monday.  I cannot see how this can get worse!  Honestly, I read about people who it doessnt get worse than five days in and I am 2 days in about to loose it!

[NeedHelpNow321]

Thanks to both of you.  I will try this now because that dread is coming up I can feel it.  With anxiety comesphysical symptoms and then more anxiety.  I am going to just breathe now.

[SmilingBright]

You got this girl!!!!!!!!;)

[knaankj]

hi.....i just got caught up with all your comments. i deal with anxiety and ODC and i SO appreciate how your mind is working OVER TIME right now. for me, this really helps...if you could....just try this. take long deep breathes and let them out really slowly. breathe in as much as you can and then right back out nice and slowly.
i know this sounds really really lame. but it really does help!! it will just remind you to stay in the moment...this moment right now and your mind is not on tomorrow or monday at work or your sons birthday party.
just sit on your comfy couch...and close your eyes and start breathing. dont think about ANYTHING but the sound and feeling of your breaths going in and back out.
do this for several minutes and see if it helps you center a little bit and calm some of the "crazy" as i call it, that is keeping you amped up inside.
i hope it helps...i know it helps me a great deal (when i remember to do it)
stay strong....you are doing GREAT!!
Paige

[NeedHelpNow321]

You are so right.  I just teared up a little.  I just spoke with my dad and son and laughed.  THis is something even on hydro or valium I have not been able to do since Monday.  Gotta keep that anxiety down.  I am trying.  

Thank all of yall again.  

[SmilingBright]

You did great by keeping yourself busy.  Please please try to think about today.

I always get really anxious if I think about things coming up that I'm
Worried about.  What if u wake up mon and feel great!!!????  Then u wasted all this time stressing over it for nothing!!   Seriously. Think about it!!   Enjoy right now!!!!!!! Today!!!!!;)

[NeedHelpNow321]

I can still feel that pesky dread feeling rising up trying ot make me lose it.  I am fighting it really hard.  I feel very manic.

[NeedHelpNow321]

Well, I put some laundry on, cleaned up the playroom so when my son comes home tomorrow (staying with g-parents tonight) he can just play his x-box all day like he likes.  Heck, I even made his bed for him.

My main thing, and I know I sound like a broken record, is the fear of what is to come tomorrow, sunda, the dreaded Monday! It appears that my anxiety will be the fall of me unless it is controlled.  I am doing what I have to do to control that.

[SmilingBright]

Lol. That's ok. I'm OCD at times too. Haha

U can do this!!!!!!!  

[NeedHelpNow321]

Good!  One positive thing I guess.  I am assuming the m'done will pass through me quicker.  Here's hoping.

[NeedHelpNow321]

Work did help a little but it was h^ll on my back sitting at that computer all day this past week.  I have the most comfortable couch in the world at home so I really think that has helped with back pain.  My couch is my "safe place".  

I took a hot bath and I have calmed down a little.  Hoping to stay calm for a bit.  

I really need to walk on the treadmill but one thing I am nervous about is I have lost 3 pounds this week and when I lose weight it is noticible.  And I am scared to burn the little calories I have had today which was a bowl of cheerios.

Everyone's comments have helped me trmendously.  I read them over too.  I am a little ocd if you cannot tell.  So God Bless All of You.

I am trying to keep Monday out of my mind.  Who even knows what tomorrow brings.  

I can say my anxiety yesterda was really bad and today I went really low at 6am.  and alot of other times but these phases of utter anxiety and hoplessness seem to pass quicker.  

[EvolverU]

Under 25 mgs. - depending on your metabolism - your Methadone metabolites tend to register under 100. At 5 mgs. they'd be negligible. That's a good thing, btw!

[SmilingBright]

I'm not sure about the urine test.  Maybe someone else will know.  

Yes the anxiety was the worst part for me.  I didn't have many other wds that I couldn't handle.  And actually being at work was better for me and my mind than staying Hm is !!  For some crazy reason staying busy helped me ALOT!!  Just a thought

[NeedHelpNow321]

Thank you for your kind words.  I am doing what I have to do to get by each minute.  This is so hard.  The anxiety is really getting to me.  My mind keeps racing and my body just feels wierd!!  I am trying ot save my valium for Monday so I took a hydro.  It takes the edge off.  

I have to get by and to the end of this.  I just have too.  

I hope my my son's bday I can sit and behappy and smile and laugh and not just fake it.  I pray by Monday I can goto work bc if I have no choice not too.  

I have a question, i had a urine test about month ago and they said there was barely any methadone mtabolites in my urine.  Is that good bc that means th methadone will leave my system fast or is that bad?

[SmilingBright]

Sounds like your anxiety is pretty high....  Relax.   You will be ok on Monday.  One day at a time!!  Not sure if this is ok to say.... But at this point w anxiety being this high maybe taking a small Amt of a Valium would take the edge off.   Bf your thoughts go to crazy!!  Try and slow your thinking down.   I bet u will be much better than u think by your sons bday!!!!  

[NeedHelpNow321]

Here's hoping I can actually make it to Monday.  

[NeedHelpNow321]

Thanks and congrats on being off 30 days!  Im jealous :)

I am really struggling at this moment both physically and mentally. I have to work monday, no choice no option not too and I am trying not to think about it but its hard.

I am holding out as long as I can so I don't take a valium or hydrocodone bc I just want to wait until iti is unbearable and the hydro upsets my stomach.   Plus I don't want to become depemdant on that.

Everyday has been h*** since I went down to 1.5 mg on Monday.  What a wate of three days.  I am still holding on that those were actual withdrawal days also.    

My sns birthday is in 3 weeks and I just have to be fine for that.  Sh**, I need ot be alot betterby Monday.  Here's hoping my low dose helps this speedup.