2nd day shedding tears

today is day 2, no better than yesterday morning, except i am sitting here bawling my eyes out.  i feel like **** and i cant get up and move around i am stuck in this &%^$%$^* wheelchair.  help / what to do, and my pain has zoomed off the chart.  if you dont know i was crushed from my pelvis to my face by my motorcycle - i wrecked and i have r.a. and ran out of my meds night before last. i am having w/d's and am going crazy - someone out there please tell me if i am gonna die today

[road2recovery]

Oh sweetie,  I have read your post and my heart just breaks for you..Is there anyway you can go to the ER and just be honest with them, and see what they can do for you??
I wish i had the magic answer for you...But knowing how real your pain is, I don't know what advice to give you...No one derserves to be in pain , even if they are an addict...If you go to the ER, maybe you can give them to someone to hold them, until you heal completely...Just a thought...praying for you right now..god bless
r2r

[sway1]

that's alot to be dealing with all at once lady. i might at least try to get something for calming down, some valium or something. don't die! that's an order. keep posting.   sway

[avisg]

how much are you CTing off of ?For the most part wd make you feel like your going to die but medically you will be ok HOWEVER it can get danerous depending how high of a dose you are coming off of .

[MontanaGurl]

2 60mg morphines and 6 30mg roxy's in a 24 hour period

[laurel453]

montana, i would really like to help you with my words but i don't know how. i've read about your accident and you are going thru a lot, truly a lot. you are a strong pers0on for sure .
but not, you are not going to die from wds. you have enough  by now to add this worry. i wish you the best of lucks  until you can go to the doctor by the end of the week  or maybe you could go to ER as you've been told... . these wds shouldn't be because you have run out of meds because of the pain your are suffering, much more  considering your circunstances, this seems  a punishment and you don't deserve it, my God, its quite crazy you can not  call a doctor....  

but  if you need to vent, scream or just ask whatever, do it :) we are here wishing we could help u.

[MontanaGurl]

i ran out because in the hospital i was on a morphine pump hitting me every 35 minutes and when i got out they gave me the above and it is not enough told doc said well talk about it when i comei n on the 13th of march, so i ran out to keep up with my pain being down so i can at least breath, i have to wear a stupid brace that makes me hurt worse, cannot take off, stuck in chair, going through w/d's yuck!!!!!!!! so much more want to say, having hard time typing, i wil type more in a few minutes

[avisg]

Hun I asked a friend who is a nurse weather it was safe to come off your doses without assistance she said you really need some help off of doses that high I would suggest you either call your doctor or go to the er.

[Jacqui805]

Hon, I feel for you.  I am almost speechless because I know what it is to live with pain, and I also know what it is to come off of major meds.  That being said, it really is not a good plan to come off of the ones you're on at those doses cold turkey.  You DO risk seizures for one thing.  Your doc knows, from you tellin' him that the meds weren't equivalent to what you were receiving in the hospital, how desperate you are/were....so, your foot is already in the door about why you took what you did.  You NEED to get your butt on the phone to that office.  Coming off of meds. like these is totally doable, if that's what needs to happen, but doing it this way makes it not only unnecessarily hard for you, but dangerous as well.

[laurel453]

i really think you should try what avis has told u, waiting until friday gonna be plain torture and even dangerous.

this is what i don't think is fair in america, really, so many people in such a pain with no help. after such an accident, someone, a nurse at least but mostly a doctor , would visit you every two days in my country just to care you are not in pain and feeling confortable... what happens there ? sorry, but i don't understand it.

do as avisg told u, pls. call the er ...

[MontanaGurl]

i have got ahold of my pain doctor, he unfortunately is 2 hours away, my brother is out with our bulldozer plowing our road to the highway.  i live on our ranch 22 miles south of town and it is -20 below not counting windchill, my hubby is on his way home from work - he works 45 minutes away and my mom went out and fired up my husbands big ford work truck, we also have a logging company and the ford is our runner truck, we have over 6000 lbs of tools / welders in the back to keep us from sliding off the road, but i am rambling, my doc said to get to his clinic that i need to be seen today. so that is what we are trying for, just got off the phone with him bout 3 minutes ago.  i hope my brother gets the road plowed b4 hubby gets here so we can leave, needed to start truck now cause it is a diesel and anyone who owns a diesel in cold weather the fuel gels up and you have to put a heater under it but by running it for awhile - like an hour it will help ALOT.  now i feel doubly bad, see due to my having this stupid accident i have to take these ugly pills go through withdrawls and now pulled alot of people into my little circle.  extra help just showed up, my brother in law was coming out to do our turn off and he's gonna meet my brother in the middle with a scraper.  i used to play in the snow during the winter with our equipment, plow the road, peoples driveways, we own towe trucks i would go on runs, i can drive our semi's and have even been a sawyer for my hubby once or twice (until i got careless with the saw) and i got fired.  i do everything and anything physical and this is close to death itself to be stuck in this damn chair.................................................i feel close to death right now and embarrased i had to have my family outside in this weather, i know theylove me but, there is a fine line between love and hate..... what to do, wait until hubby gets here, see the big black plums of diesel smoke flow in the air off in the distance... i am loosing my mind, will i make 3 - 4 more hours??

[Jacqui805]

OH THANK GOODNESS!!!!!!!  Just don't hurry getting there okay, please take it easy on the road and stay safe.  You are doing exactly what is needed to help you.  Listen, I understand how you feel, I really do.  You were certainly not in the accident on pupose Gurl, right?  Your loved ones feel for you, and although, they wish it hadn't happened too, they are certainly not holding YOU responsible for it.  They just want to see you comfortable and having some quality of life.  It will take time, but you sometimes have to adjust the expectations you have for yourself.  I am just so thankful you're getting to your doctor TODAY.  It is so important.  I don't want to see you in an unsafe situation, let alone a horrendously uncomfortable one.....Please let us know how you are later okay?

[road2recovery]

SO glad to hear this...Listen to jac, she knows what she is talking about...Be safe, and get there ..Not sure about waiting for your hubby, but do what you think is best...YOUR family loves you, and i am sure they hate to see you hurting like this...PLEASE let us know how it goes...Still praying for you, BE SAFE
r2r

[road2recovery]

I am just worried, and wanting to see what the doctors said?  Post when you can, and let us know how you are doing......