3 months clean and sober question

[lotsofbabyseaturtlesinabox]

Hi! How is everyone? I have a question I was hoping someone would answer. First, a little background. I am 26 I recently decided that completely clean and sober was the way to go on Aug 7th. 9 Months before that I stopped taking my daily 70mg of methadone that I had been on for about a 7 months. So for the 9 months before Aug 7th I was basically clean for a month would relapse on heroin for a couple of days then get clean again.

I feel a lot better now that I am at 3 months clean. However, I have some minor issues. First, I seem to want to lay in bed all day. I prefer to daydream or sleep to waking reality.

Second, I said a lot of stupid mean things when I was on drugs. So my friends all kind of moved on. I do not blame them. I remember what I said, regret it, and have apologized. The only real thing I can do is stay clean and sober, and never do those things again. I feel that since I have apologized and changed my behavior those friends who want to, will come back when and if they are ready. No point in waving hey I changed my ways flag. That would not be right of me. Because of this I am kind of embarrassed do go out in public in fear or running into someone who knows what I use to be, as I am not proud of who I use to be.

This lead to the third problem, meeting new people. I do not really wish to meet new people as my emotional self is under going many changes daily. Who I am now is not who I will be in a year. Also, they will inevitably ask what I do with my life. I will be forced to honestly answer, "I just got out of a drug hole, and I lay in bed all day". So I am alone  most if not all of the time.

In summary, my questions are. Is my preference for daydreaming all day normal for this time in recovery? Will I start to feel more energy as time goes on?  Oh, and I guess I just wanted to say Hello!

[Free2agoodhome]

You're fine,,,,, you just need structure to your day maybe,,,have a place to go......  to be accountable,,,,volunteer etc..... meetings maybe,,.

daydreaming  yes,,,it was my favorite pastime on vicodin..i would daydream about being a great dad, great employee, great son, great boyfriend to the right girl,,, and i felt like I could be all of that....

but after the buzz was gone.... i was a great finder of more drugs,,, (sad)

set small daily goals for yourself,,,,it will keep you on track....

much suport

Free~

[pitbullmom]

do u go to meetings? there r people just like u goin thru the same things u may meet friends that r constantly changing who there r like u... also i get the anti social thing. however as abritt said i am proud not of my addiction but the way i faced it. i talk to alot of people bout it. i thought i was weird cuz every1 keeps it a secret. but when i get off sub and alot of clean time i think ima go into the drug addiction field.

[candy_17]

Honestly honey I've thought about the embarrassment myself but you know what I didn't care when I was using who seen me or what I done when high so now I just apologize to everyone for the sake of just in case and forgive myself for it. Everyone has some kind of demon they're fighting, you're openly fighting yours, good for you! Many are still not as brave as you and haven't dealt openly with their problem. So hold your head up and be proud of yourself and your progress and yes by all means get out of that house and don't waste another 10 years like I did! Best wishes to you!

[lotsofbabyseaturtlesinabox]

Thank you for the quick and nice comments. I currently go on long walks(I only have one pair of shoes, not running shoes), and I do sit ups. I am currently unemployed. I start school in a couple of months at the local university to finish my major. I will look into getting some running shoes as walking is not enough for me.

I will start looking for jobs. I have some non felony drug charges and a petty theft charge from 5 years ago. This is a bit discouraging for me. I have had jobs before even with these charges so it should be about the same.

Thanks again for the advice!

[abritt121222]

This is normal yes your body is out of physical withdrawal but unfortunately your mind takes a little longer to get back to is old self. The best thing to do even when you don't want is to keep busy just get up and do something clean up take a walk exercise is on thing that will help more than anything. Also and this may sound weird and I might be different about this but when ppl ask me about whatever I am proud to say that I beat addiction DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF so don't be embarrassed I find it makes me feel better to be truthful and you will not get the reaction from ppl that you would think most of the time at least cause most everybody knows someone that has been or is addicted and will congratulate you for beating it not treat you like u are less than them. Hang in there you are past the hardest part. Just keep your head up stay positive and the biggest thing for me is keep your mind busy because for me down time is the worst thing for me cause when my mind wanders its usually somewhere I don't want it to be

Good Luck and Godspeed
ABritt

[vicki595]

Hi there-- You need a little kick in the pants to get going so consider this your kick.  Get moving, exercise is a must!

Yes, laziness is somewhat typical but it's not healthy. Do you have a job? If not, time to get one. You're way too young to let life pass by so MOVE!

Don't worry about the socialization right now or running in to old friends. Be cordial and be yourself. This issue is big only to you; most people are caught up in their own drama...

Congratulations on almost three clean months. That's excellent!