3 months out - what now?

I am a 43 year old mom and grandma.  I am 79 days clean today from Oxycontin. At my worst, I was using 13 30mg tablets a day.  I started to ween in April of this year and got down to, I think, 120mg a day when I went to a facility for detox on July 25, 2011.  I am closing in on 3 months here in a matter of days.  I realize that each day is getting a little bit better but I am so tired of the ongoing morning depression and evening anxiety. I've read so many posts all over that say PAWS peaks at 3-6 months. Please share your stories with me because I can't take it much longer. I have NO desire to use again.  I don't ever want to start over. I am usually a very outgoing, happy, witty person.  I feel like my personality has been stripped from me.  I'm just a walking shell. Am I nearing the worst part of this or do I have months and months left?

[justsaynotodrugs]

    3 months can be a stumbling block you may get the urge to use again.  The depression and anxiety wont go away easily it only seems like it gets worse but that is the power of the drug in your system wanting you to fix it.  I no that you have not used in 3 months that means a lot so hang in there it will get better after you get cross 3 months.  You may need to go to substance abuse meeting there will be people in the same shape your in that will tell there story how they are doing and whats helping them to stay clean.     So hang in there it will get better you may need to stay busy keeping your mind off the pain of WDrawals

[ricart70]

HI thats great at 3 months.Do you exercise?I know it gets tiring having to wind yourself up.Hang in there.

[littlebit667]

That is so amazing..  I am 32 days clean and so want to be where you are.  I am so sorry the depression/anxiety is still there.  I know someone said here that it could take anywhere from 9-12 months for the brain to start working right.  Sigh...guess we just have to wait for that to kick in.

[CATUF]

"ongoing morning depression" - i can relate to that!! for a number of months, starting when i had 4 months, i went through a deal where each morning until about 7 months i simply KNEW that i needed to kill myself.  

i tried to explain to a counselor that i "wasn't sucidial," it was just that suicide seemed like the best option for everyone concerned.  he looked at me like i was crazy and asked me to explain the difference as i perceived it.

so, what are you doing to make sure you stay in recovery besides just not-using?

CATUF

2318

[Innerstrength67]

Congrats on your clean time. I can sooooo relate! I feel like I should be so happy with my clean time but it's not there. Well at least we know it takes time for the depression to lift. Exercise, NA meeting can help.
Your doing great!!!! And I'm so proud of you:)

[Letitgonow]

Congrats!

You've come so far and are approaching the last phase of the mental battle - at this point, it's imperative to change your lifestyle to a more healthy one. Exercise, proper diet, proper care... this *must* become your new addiction in order to get your mind back to a stable and balanced level.

Your mind is still regenerating its abilities to stabilize you with natural endorphins, you have to do everything in your power to help speed that process along.... waiting for it to occur and not being proactive can be more enduring than the physical withdrawals.

Congrats again! Stay strong!

[michellesoleil]

GOOD FOR U!!!! HANG IN THERE!! EXCERSIZE HELPS ALOT THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS AND KEEP BUSY DOING THINGS U ENJOY!:) U HAVE COME SO FAR U SHOULD B PROUD!

[angie205]

Could anyone tell me what the mood changes are for oxycodone sobriety. My daughters bf is 3 weeks clean from several years of using. He is currently very angry. Was wondering if anyone has like a mood chart for upcoming emotions...

[Ann2497]

Congrats on your clean time.Oxys are pretty strong and what you are feeling is normal.  Look up the article in the bottom right hand corner titled foods that increase Dopamine naturally under "Most viewed Health Pages".

Also, are you taking any vitamins?  B6 is supposed to help.

[opiatekicker]

Holy cow!  I haven't been back to this post for some time. Although I have been tracking everything religiously. I am now at 157 days (I think) and things are starting to stabilize.  I still have a hard time getting going.  I was exercising 3-4 times a week but must admit that Christmas treats got the better of me.  I started my "no snacking" food plan today and will resume exercise immediately. I still have cravings but then I remember what it was like to detox. No thanks. At one point my husband had Vicodin in the house for a terrible toothache and I admit it was on my mind all the time. But I prevailed!  I find that certain smells, songs and foods remind me of detox and I figure that's my reminder of where I don't want to go.  I celebrated my first "clean" Christmas with my Grand-daughter this year.  I wore my pajamas to their house and got down on the floor and played. I don't remember last year except for the pictures I am shown. I have come so far.  It's not worth ever going back there again. I have found that daily trackers are a part of re-hab for me.  It gives me a chance to go back and see how far I've come and how things are starting to stabilize mentally. I honestly wish I had journeled more in the beginning but as you all know, picking up a pen seemed like a chore in the very beginning.  As for vitamins, yes I take several every day. I have problems with bedtime because I associate bed with the many hours I spent laying around the first few weeks.  I'm trying to train myself that my bed is an ok place. Thanks for everyone's support.  I write all of this in case there's someone new out there that has questions or just a little support.

[atthebeach]

Thank you for posting. We love to hear of continued success on the recovery road.  Congratulations that is so awesome. You are over 5 months clean. You are doing fantastic. We are very proud of you.
You are an inspiration to those who arer just beginning the journey.
Every journey begins with the first step.
Keep fighting the good fight. Keep on keeping on.
Guard your clean time.
Continued blessings to you
Debbie

[gnarly_1]

HI I had the bad anxiety to eventually the everyday anxiety leaves but I still suffer from time to time with it I have forund a tea that is realy effective its called YOGI kava stress releving tea now some walmarts cary it otherwise youcan get it on line just google it if your anxzity is bad seep 2 bags for 10 min and sip it down its not bad with a spoon of sweet n low in it
in about 15 min you willb be relaxed its non addicting and to me works as good as xanex its worth the 5 bucks it cost to give it a shot works good for me good luck and God bless.......Gnarly