So ive been doing drugs since I was 14 (im going to be 19 in early August). Ive always been a pure recreational drug user (even with opiates), always looking for the best high. Even though ive done just about every 'street drug' you could think of (and even some that most people have never even heard of) but ive never really been truly addicted to anything but opiates. I started taking norcos on the weekends, which progressed to daily use within a few months. Eventually I wound up addicted to oxycodone, but I would do any opiates I could get my hands on including heroin. I have tried numerous times to quit, everytime relapsing around day 4-7.
This time I used about 12mg suboxone over the first 4 days with no opiates, then just cut it cold turkey. My withdrawals peaked around days 2-4. Needless to say it was miserable. I literally did not sleep or eat for the first 7 days. Most of my physical symptoms were gone by about day 9. But I still had bad RLS up until about day 10. But I used several other drugs to ease my withdrawal, including ketamine, xanax, soma, marijuana, and klonopin. After about day 10 I felt more or less normal. That ketamine was a LIFE SAVER, it was the only time I felt normal during the withdrawals (even at the peak on days 2-4). But the benzos and soma helped with the insomnia and RLS. I guess you could still say I am a drug addict since I still use many drugs, but I am not physically dependant on anything anymore (except cigarettes marijuana although that is nothing compared to opiates) and I must say its one of the best feelings ive had in awhile.
Now im on day 21, close to day 22. I feel more or less normal now (physically) but I can still feel the mental symptoms. I still have trouble sleeping, but its RLS related. Its more that im just not tired when its time to go to sleep. But I dont know if thats from the withdrawals, or from my messed up sleep schedule. For the past few years ive always gone to bed around 3am (even when I have to wake up at 7-9am for college) so it could just be my internal body clock being messed up from that. But I think its a combination of both. And lastly, I still am having trouble having fun. I dont have a job and im on summer vacation right now so literally all I do is sit around my house all day and watch tv. I dont really have any motivation to do any outdoor activites or anything, nothing seems fun. I am bored all day 7 days a week sitting at my house, which is a prime opportunity for me to get a nice high from some opiates, but luckily I have not even had the desire to do opiates except 1 time about 3 days ago. I got a pretty bad rope burn on my hands and feet which felt like they were on fire for about 12 hours. I was pretty tempted to do a few lines of my usual oxycodone/hydromorphone/oxymorphone mix I have sitting on my nightstand (it has been there since I decided to quit) to help with the fairly severe pain I had. But I didnt give in. Besides, I dont think the opiates would have even given me much pain relief from the burn. I was definately tempted though.
Overall, im feeling MUCH better now than I was when I first came to this site on day 1-2 of my withdrawal. I have never made it this long without relapsing. And my week of withdrawal was pure hell, but it was worth it. Before, everything seemed better on opiates (listening to music, things like that) but it seems like ive found a new appreciation for the small things in life like that, now that im clean from opiates. It really does get better each day, after about day 8.
For all of you who are still dependant on opiates, just know that it IS possible to quit. Its crazy how opiates manipulate your mind. 3 weeks ago, I literally could not imagine life without opiates and I didnt think it was possible for me to do that. I know thats probably similar to how some of you fellow addicts feel. But going through that week of hell was one of the best decisions ive made in my life. It is such a nice feeling knowing I do not need a pill to get through the day without being sick. Not to mention all the money ive saved from not HAVING to buy them to feel normal (note: not high, but normal). But its true, you really do have to want to quit for it to work. Personally I am just so sick of the whole cycle of being dependant on it, combined with spending thousands of dollars on pills in just 2 years.
Heres my advice for those trying to quit. Stay positive about everything no matter how hard it is. Always look towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Think about your family and friends and how your addiction has affected them. Think about all the money youve spent supporting your habit. If your addiction got as out of hand as mine, to where the opiates stopped getting you high and just kept you from getting sick and made you feel normal, then its time to call it quits.
Keep in mind this is coming from a recreational drug use standpoint. I do realize many of you have chronic pain and NEED pain relief, which is a totally different situation. But I think its worth it to atleast give it a shot (unless you have some serious chronic pain) as opiates are known to trick your mind into thinking you have more pain than you really do. But I honestly dont know much about that as I dont have any chronic pain, I used opiates strictly to feel good and achieve the highest possible euphoria I could get which led to my addiction.
Goodluck to everyone going through this all too common problem. Just remember it CAN be beaten.
Well done!!!! It's great that u have given up and are feeling so positive.
I was addicted to co'codomol for 11 years and i was taking well over the stated dose in search of that 'high'.
I am now on day 7 of withdrawal's and i am feeling a bit better every day.
Congratulations on your 3 weeks clean !! I love your attitude :) I have been a long time addict and this was a big problem for me.. what to do with my time.. I have been a housemom wife for 24 years.. and the boredom.. once my kids did not need everything from me was a big problem.. This time around a few things have changed. I want to be clean and I picked up a Hobby.. mine is photography.. with the camera in had it gives me something to do in the outside world.. I started baby steps around my house and it has blossomed into a adventure :) I'm not saying this is right for you but maybe some kind of hobby is ? Preferably outdoors as you are young.. find a passion. learn to do something you have not tried.. Get involved with your community.. many things to fill those boring times :) I wish you well.. lesa
thanks for the input voxxx, can relate to much of what you said. on day 25 or so, off a multiple methadone and norco habit that started with norcos only then turned into both the last 1 1/2 years.........
I am personally sick and tired of being sick and tired of all opioids, done with them all !!! the drugs did not work anymore ....... the money,the mood changes, the miserable feelings got sooooo old......
and now I am feeling better than I did when I was on them.......forgot how nice life was without them!!!
thank you for the reminder why to stay off the narcotics. im 7 days off oxys and yea, it totally sucked, untill today, i finally felt a tiny bit better. Thanks for posting and Congratulations for stopping.
Congrats on 3 weeks! ketamine? How on earth did u mangae to get that? whatever it takes i guess..as long as u r happy with the place u r in...and u reached ur goals then more power to ya...keep us posted (:
Thank you for the support everyone. It obviously has helped me since this is the longest ive gone in 3 years without opiates. I have been wanting to try to find an outdoor activity/hobby, but its just like nothing seems fun/appealing so I dont have any motivation to do it. I think if I found a job that would help a LOT with my boredom because I would be forced to do something. The only problem is finding the job in this economy, which is pretty much next to impossible. But im gonna keep trying.
As for the ketamine, like I stated in my original post I have always been your regular street drug user looking for the best high. Im not gonna get into the specifics for legal reasons, but I will say mailmen have become some of the biggest drug dealers these days. But the ketamine was BY FAR the best, most efficient anti-withdrawal drug that I had. Its an anaesthetic/tranquilzer, perfect for masking withdrawal. It basically gets you so messed up that you literally do not notice the withdrawals at ALL. It puts you in the sleeping mode and makes it much easier to fall asleep as well. I think I would not have made it past day 4 if I did not have that ketamine to aid my withdrawal.
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