I have been taking pain pills for about 5 years now. A 7.5 would get me high for about a year or 2 and then when I met my husband it got worse. He liked taking them on the weekends, just for fun just like I was doing. We had a great hook up so they were always available. We would take hydro or percocet 10's on the weekends and then none throughout the week. Of course it got worse and then we were on to taking them ALL the time. The money we spend on these things are ridiculous. I found out I was pregnant in June 2011. I stop taking them for a week because I was so high off the fact we were having a baby and didnt want to do anything to hurt it. We decided to get 4 perc 10's one night and then never take them again. He had 2 I had 2. Well that started the roller coaster back over. Since I have had a healthy pregnancy and the baby is growing exactly like he is suppose to (he is actually measuring a week bigger than he is suppose to be) it made me feel like it was OK and the baby wasn't being affected by all of this. I know I shouldnt be taking pain pills and the only problem I have found is risking the baby being addicted and going thru withdrawal once it is born. I want to stop my last 8 weeks to ensure baby be born pain free. Today is my first day without a pill. My doctors have no clue I take these pills. I go to all my appts and everythings is always great. I have had a 4d ultrasound and he is the prettiest little boy EVER. His heart, kidneys, all his organs are perfect via ultrasound. I just know this has to be the end of it all. I can't take anymore. I have tried my whole pregnancy to quit and never made it past day 1. My husband and I have talked and we are doing this together. We know in order to have a healthy baby this can not go on! I have been taking up to 30mg of hydro's or percs a day. Whichever we had. I take 15 mg at a time mostly a dose in the morning and a dose at night. Some days 45mgs but that is only like once a week. I do chew the pills when I take them to get a faster high. This is the first time I have admitted this and I feel terrible just writing it. I feel like I can't get up in the mornings without a pill just to clean, cook, play with my daughter or even have a good day. I have went maybe 2 days without a pill through my whole pregnancy and I do have withdrawals but I dont think they are as bad as most go through. I think mine is more mental and that is where my problem is. The physical is not great tho, I dont want to do anything, even be nice! And of course I am the sweetest person EVER when im high. No one knows about this besides my husband. I just need to STOP and I am so scared of not getting high anymore!!!!! I dont need preaching on withdrawals and pre term labor, or that I need to talk to my doctor. I am no doing that. I have tried weening myself off by cutting down the mgs everyday and I always do good until I am about done and then I just give up and do 15mgs again. I have to quit cold turkey there is no other way, I just need support, someone that was in my shoes. I hate these things, they consume my life, I live around them and this has to be the end...it has to be!!!!!!
Hi and welcome! I wont preach to you but I was wondering if you are aware that they check the babies first meconium for drugs,,they can go back pretty far. What will you do if that happens/ I would hater for social services to get involved and have to do an investigation,,its different for every state but the drug test on the meconium is pretty standard. It may be in your best interest overall to tell you OB doctor. Just a thought. ~Bkitty
Hey, in my state they dont test the babies unless there is a problem at birth. I am hoping to avoid this but I will be clean when my son is born and so willhe. I am DETERMINED! Thank you for your thoughts :)
I am not going to preach to you but i am going to tell you a few things that i hope you will listen too. It is very important that you DO tell your OB. The baby will be tested at birth and if opiates are found in walks CPS. The doctors and nurses need to know this in case the baby is having wd. Stopping cold turkey is hard on this baby. What you feel, he feels. Please do what is right for both you and this baby. Addiction is a mental game and we do preach aftercare here. There are many forms of aftercare, NA/AA, therapists, addiction counselors, ministers etc. Have you thought about this at all? Using is just a symptom of what is going on with you. You dont have to be a prisoner to these pills anymore. I hope you stick around here~~~sara
No testing done on babies in my state. I know this for sure. Sad to say I have had plenty of friends who have smoked marijuana the day before labor and had babies and went home without incident. The only way they test you, is if you tell them or it looks to be a problem. Most doctors say you need 3-4 weeks to ween off pain pills before birth to have a baby free of withdrawal. I have 8. I know I am going to get this again and again but I am not telling my doctor and I am now going to the doctor every 2 weeks soon to be every week to check on baby. I can do this and I will!
I guess I don't understand what u are asking for since you said you aren't telling your doctor and you don't want thear that it is bad for the baby etc. You obviously know it is harmful to the baby.
My support for you would include telling you how dangerous this is and your doctor needs to know what's going on so he can prepare for any complications arise. You and your husband have a choice in wether you put these pills in your body. Unfortunately your baby doesn't get that choice.
You now have another life you are responsible for and you two owe it to him to be the best parents you can be. Just because everything looks ok on the sonograms doesn't mean it is. That test can't show what long term problems could be there (learning disabilities, speech and hearing issue etc)
Please get honest with your dr and yourself and realize just how serious this is.
I hope you ARE successful with this although I have my doubts...
You speak of testing meconium...what about testing you?? Are you aware that in most hospitals it is simply a standard of care to do a tox screen on EVERY new mom? Yours best be clean at that time....if it isn't, they WILL test meconium and that test goes all the way back to 20 weeks gestation.
I'm not sure what you're looking for here....support? Not from this gal...not if your plan is to cold turkey and keep this a big,fat secret from the people who need to know...God help you.
Your biggest fear is the baby will go thru withdrawl, and it will. If the nurses suspect anything, and it is easy to pin point the withdrawl babies then they will test the baby. I would talk to your doctor, they will not judge like you think they will...I am sure they have seen way worse. You need to wean off these NOW. Stopping cold turkey can hurt the baby, even possibly cause a miscarriage or early labor. Please seek medical advice and let them give you a weaning schedule....it will be the best thing for that precious baby that you already love. Let your love for that baby give you strength over the pills. You can private message me or friend me if u want to talk more. I worked in a maternity unit for years and I have seen everything. I don't and wont judge you...I am on here for the same reason as you...only about 8 - 10 Norcos daily. Reach out and you will get the help you need, if not medically than definately emotionally. Good luck and congrats.
I am not trying to be stubborn folks. I love this baby with all my heart and honestly I dont think any problems will arise in the long term aspect. I know people who are prescribed more pain meds by there obgyn than I take without a prescription. I am looking for support. I will be clean when I go into labor so as far as child care services go, I dont need any advice on that. What is done to me and baby is already done, there is nothing I can do to change it. I am looking for support in just leaving these things alone! I have 8 weeks to stay clean and have a healthy baby! I am sorry if some of you get mad because I am not telling my doctor, it is my choice. I am quitting cold turkey and I am praying that all is well. If yesterday was my last and it stays my last until delivery I hope all will be well. I am planning on breastfeeding for atleast 6 months and I never ever wanna start these things again....EVER, just please respect what I am doing and give me advice, not lectures.
Hi there again,,im just curious about something,,how do you know that you are not putting you unborn baby in danger? What makes you justify that? Is it because you are relying on what you have heard or read? I just think to be really safe about this you need to tell your OB doctor. You cant rely on someone elses experience or what you have read. I think you are still somewhat in denial.You are putting your baby at risk if you cold turkey off the drugs. If it were me,,I wouldnt take that chance of making my baby suffer.You are only thinking about yourself and not the baby. I dont mean at all to be harsh,,please dont take this that way. I genuinely care about you. You can do this. Just be safe and rational. ~Bkitty
I'm sorry but I have to agree with the other posters. You have absolutely no idea how these have affected or will affect your unborn child. You claim you want support but yet you only want to hear what you want to hear.
Unfortunately for you (but great fir ur baby) our support comes with the advice of seeking out medical help from your doctor. Would you willingly hand someone a knife and let them cut your baby- tell them not to cut him bad enough to kill him - just hurt him a little. Years down the road there will be a scar to remind u of how stupid a decision u made in handing the knife to someone. Well that's exactly what u are doing now.
Please please please do not hurt an innocent baby because you are being stubborn. YOU HAVE ANOTHER LIFE YOU ARE NOW RESPONSIBLE FOR!!! Stop being selfish and do what is right.
Most drug tests are not mandated by state laws, but differ from hospital to hospital, from OB practice to OB practice....marijuana, I'm afraid, is a much different animal than prescription pain pills and while it's possible for some women to walk home with their baby with no CPS involvement after showing positive for marijuana....pills will not have the same outcome in 90% of the cases.
You really have to tell your OB...I can't tell you how many women I've spoken with/counseled through this, and every one of them (well most of them are) is resistant to telling her OB, but I have NEVER heard of a bad outcome when a woman and her OB work together to make sure the baby is healthy.
Because that's what it comes down to...honestly, it doesn't much matter if you get into trouble or not...it's all about baby's health at this point. What happens if you quit and go into labor tomorrow?
BUT...since you aren't going to listen..good luck. I hope the withdrawals don't put you into early labor, and I hope you realize that your baby feels everything you feel....and with that in mind, do everything you can to be comfortable as the drugs leave your system. Unfortunately, being pregnant, that means you can take tylenol and warm baths and vitamins and not much else....so short of telling your doctor and having them help you wean or give you medicines that will help alleviate the symptoms, all you and the baby can do at this point is hold on tight and wait to feel better.
I'm pregnant with my 3rd child, and I've had to take (prescribed, monitored) pain medicine with all 3 pregnancies of varying strengths and regularity because of kidney, back, and neurological issues...I have a lot of experience talking with women going through pill usage during pregnancy both prescribed and illegal, and I've been through the ringer myself...so I'm not just talking out of the side of my mouth here....the best thing really is to talk to your doctor. It's great to pray that all will be well, but wouldn't you rather work with someone who can help you ENSURE that all will be well?
Anyway..lecture done I suppose. best of luck...get some epsom salts for your baths, but remember not to make them too hot.
I came across this and do wish to comment. I don't often post here as I respect this forum and I am not an actually in recovery myself. However, when I see a post like this, I feel the need to comment. Not a lecture, just something I know to be true and may help encourage you to speak to your Dr. I work with Social Services and very closely with CPS. Most of the families I work with are coping with and dealing with addiction. Included in that are so many pregnant moms trying to do exactly what you are - get clean. So first I want to commend you for making this decision. I am rooting for you. But I also just want to tell you that for the pregnant moms I work with, when they tell their OB, things tend to have a happy ending. Yes, sometimes it does bring about CPS involvement, however, CPS prefers a child to stay with it's mother, and it mom is working hard to get and/or stay clean, they rarely will remove the child. There has to be other issues as well, such as neglect, etc. However, if a baby shows signs of withdrawal at birth, and the Dr's were not made aware that the baby could be born addicted, it's different. The reason is, if the medical team delivering knows, they can be prepared to help baby through any potential withdrawals. If they don't know, it can create a whole extra set of problems. So withholding that information can be considered neglect in itself, and bring about further investigation. They also take it as a sign that mom is not trying to deal with her addiction, but rather hide it.
I am telling you this in hopes of encouraging you to do what the others are saying. Please tell your Dr. Withdrawing on your own while pregnant is not typically considered a very safe thing to do. And if baby is born addicted, he will need that extra help that a prepared medical team can offer him. Again, not a lecture. Trust me, I don't judge and I have dealt with and seen far worse situations then you are going through. This can all be ok, and you don't have to go through it alone. Best of luck to you.
Adgal and Ashelen- Thank you for your advice :) I am going to play it day by day and if it gets to where I know im not going to make it, then I will call the doctor. I know I havnt been able to quit thus far, but I am hoping this is the time that I do. I also know that if I only have 8 weeks left and I start these things again, then I can't do it on my own and I will have to accept that. I WILL NOT let my baby go through withdrawals when he is born without medical care. If I can not stop then I will let the doctor know. I have a 10mg hydro left. I just took half of it and am going to take the other half tomorrow. Then its no more. I would have love to taken the whole thing and gotten high, but im trying to be serious here. Im sorry if I come off with an attitude, and im glad some of you would NEVER do a thing to hurt your children, I feel the same way. These things just have a hold on me and if your not here to support and give me advice then please do not comment. I came here and wrote this post so that I could have support, not be told what I already know. Its crazy, these pills, I drank beer everyday, smoked weed everyday and smoked a pack of ciggs a day before I found out I was pregnant and I quit every single one of those and have stayed quit, its just the pills have got me hooked. I am trying my hardest and I know that if I make a decision to be done, then all I have to do is NOT do them. I have called all my hookups and told them to please not call me when they are getting rid of pills, that I am done with them and wont be buying anymore.
it's really sad when you have to explain yourself like that when all you were looking for was advise. you shouldn't have to. just ignore all the assumptions and do your best. you know what to do and you know what is right if you are not able to succeed. good luck to you.
you should quit using suboxone or subutex. its buprenorphone and if you already have been taking opiates thru your pregnancy a few days on them will wean you off the opiates without the pain of withdrawl. talk to your doc. about it. also if you are uncomfortable go to a totally new phychiatrist and tell them your problem and they can prob give you a couple just to get clean without shocking the baby by going cold turkey. suboxone and the like are much safer, they gave them to my cat when he had kidney failure... but most of alll be safe. i love opiates and i do about 15 times the amount you do every day and i would really be careful if i got pregnant. wouldnt want to put this on anyone else.
I'm so happy you took my comments in the way I intended. As I said, no judgement here. And honestly, I would never in a million years attempt to influence anyone on how best to fight this battle. I know I haven't been there personally, so I wouldn't do that. However, your situation is a bit different as you are expecting. And it's obvious you love this baby and want what is best for him. I think that shows in your posts. So the reason I am trying to convince you to talk to a Dr. is because, well, in all honesty, it is dangerous for him that you are attempting to wean yourself on your own. The agency I work for has a women's health clinic, so our on staff OB's are very familiar with this and deal with it regularly. I know that they are very careful and cautious in how they wean pregnant women. They do not want them to experience strong detox symptoms because the baby feels it far more then then the mother. So it can be dangerous. And I would not want you to do this for your baby only to discover you have done more harm then good, know what I mean? So it's in the spirit of genuinely caring that I strongly strongly urge you to do this with proper medical supervision. I know they send lot's of our moms to be into inpatient detox at facilities that specialize in this.
I have a suggestion for you that might help. There are lot's of agencies like mine out there who are able to help you do this safely AND confidentially. They can work through this with you while protecting that baby. Still, the issue remains. If 8 weeks isn't long enough (and I don't know the answer to that), then baby could still suffer withdrawals. Even babies born to cigarette smoking moms go through some withdrawal. So you need to make sure that that will not be the case so that your medical team is able to help the baby. But perhaps a women's health clinic where they deal with this sort of thing might help put your mind at ease, and still do what is best for your son? They are out there, you just have to do a little research. Think of the peace of mind you will have. I truly do wish you well, honestly I do. I know this isn't easy and again, I commend you for dealing with this. Take care.
You best tell your doc NOW. They will find out anyway when the baby is born.
That is, IF you can't stop taking them. Using suboxone/subutex to quit is bad advice. It's trading a now small problem for a much bigger one.
Try taper down for a couple days or so then quit CT. That should make it easier.
You should tell your doc anyway, and don't leave it to the last minute. That way he/she can monitor your progress and prepare for the worst if you fail.
Hydro's are one of the hardest opiate formulations to quit, so tapering will probably be your best bet, and cause a minimum amount of withdrawal discomfort for both of you. It just takes will power mostly the tapering way, yawning, watery eyes, and some anxiety will be the worst of it over a 5-7 day period. You've probably felt that many times during dry spells.
Good luck, just stick with it and you will do fine.
Hi and welcome to the form. As you may have noticed, addicts in recovery are the most truthful and genuine people you'd ever meet. We are not interested in judging or moralizing your addiction as it will have no impact on your sobriety.
You have clearly expressed love for your baby and heartfelt intention to provide him with security and comfort. You are right about not being able to change what was and there is no point focusing on what the future may hold for him. What's important is that you grasp an accurate perception of your addiction and begin planning your recovery today. I hear many people concerned about your minimizing the actual and potential consequences of your addiction. This is evidence that you are not accepting full responsibility and accountability for your actions. Denial is a normal coping mechanism that falsely protects us from experiencing deeply painful emotions. Unfortunately, you must explore and acknowledge the emotions attached to your reasons for using.
Many of us have been down the road of secrecy. It's a lonely journey that ends in relapse. You need to find personal meaning in your recovery. Sobriety for 8 weeks is a short term goal that is motivated by fear of being discovered. Once your son is born your reason to stay clean is lost. Loving your children is not enough to keep you clean. No doubt you love your daughter but still use.How will the birth of your son make things different for you?
For the past 5 years you have been altering the reward system in your brain. It's conditioned to release feel good chemicals when you use your DOC or partake in addictive behaviors. These pathways are well defined and unable to analyze thoughts and feelings. They don't care that that you need to a loving and responsible mother. They don't even care if you fail to meet your basic needs for survival. They are high traffic areas for cravings and willpower is only a temporary roadblock.
It's your choice to tell your doctor or not. I understand how difficult that is. Been there. But for me I didn't have the choice. She was informed by my addiction's specialist when I was mandated to rehab. The lesson in humility was necessary for me to accept what I was and how I got there. I strongly encourage you to seek medical advice on how to best manage withdrawl given your condition. I suspect you will not be advised to taper as the pills are not prescribed. When I was working as a public health nurse I've seen doctor's mostly recommend cold turkey in an inpatient rehab. It's very important to maintain adequate hydration and nutrition. Monitoring your blood pressure as you detox is important for detecting pre-eclampsia.
At the very least you will need some type of aftercare...NA meetings, a sponsor and/or counsellor are foundational if you are to safeguard your recovery longterm. The fact that your husband is also an addict puts your recovery in jeopardy. If he does not stay clean you will be living with a constant trigger to use. We are on your team and want to see you make it. You are young and have the potential to live a healthy, happy life. Our suggestions are based on lived experience and have your best interest at heart. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. Take care.
Hunny. I was in your shoes. I wasn't taking them my whole pregnancy but started at35 weeks and
Had a week and a few days relapse. I felt so terrible. And
I know you dot wana hear it but I had to come clean to my dr. And she was amazing
Put it in my notes and
I had no issues. Baby was born healthy as can be. But if I hadn't quit when I did and came clean to my ob
Who knows what could have happened. I didn't want
To get her taken from me and I think the actions I took and the prayers I prayed helped a lot. Please just think about it. Cause when it comes down to it the baby is most important. I hope you get thru this and have an amazing pregnancy. Message me if u need.
I agree with what you say in general, but you also have to consider the amount being taken. Certainly women who are hard core addicts on high doses need to be carefully assessed and treated accordingly. The most common treatment in those cases is a methadone treatment program, although Subs are being used as well. Then the baby is also given a "Baby Morphine" treatment after delivery and weaned off that over time. Even after weaking a baby off an opiate addiction, the baby can have a lot of problems for several months afterwards, even as long as a year in some cases, and have permanent brain damage as well. But that's in extreme addiction cases with street drugs.
This Lady's addiction isn't that bad in comparison to such cases. She still has time to taper off with minimal wd symtoms, and have 7 weeks to spare if she starts now.
Regardless, she still needs to inform her Doc, and do this under supervision, and also so the Doc is prepared in case she fails. Regardless of how slight that there are any complications with the baby due to her opiate use, it's always better to be safe than sorry.
Again NeedsToStop8, good luck, I hope all goes well and you are able to taper off those things, you can with just a little will power. You have a powerful incentive as well. :o)
So I just read they all this amazing advice. And I am so happy your here. I've been where you are now and it's so scary. The love I had for
My baby was so much but you would have never known thru my actions.
And I was just like you. In denial and didn't want to tell my ob. But I'm so grateful for the advice I got here cause it put me at ease and I came clean to my ob. I have never once had to deal with cps thank the lord. And my baby Is healty as can be. But even after having her I slipped up. I have a little over 2 months clean now and I will never go back an I am taking every precaution not to. When I feel down I turn here. And these amazing
People set me straight and tell me it's meeting time. I look in my daughters beautiful eyes daily and wonder how I could have ever EVER done that to her. I know the wd effects and they aren't pretty and for an innocent baby to go thru that is not fair. I look at all these sick babies
Who's mothers have not abused drugs and
Look at my healthy one and think how
Freaking lucky am I. I know how you feel and
Know how icky it is. Addiction is the hardest thing to deal with. I do every day. But every day sober is an amazing one. Id rather be having the worst day sober than the best day high. Because then I know tomorrow I will be okay. You can do this for that baby. Please just think about what every one is telling you and know they all have the best intentions in mind. no one wants that baby taken from you and talking to your ob is what is going to keep him healthy. This post really hits home for me ! Sometimes we have to stop thinking about ourselves and think of others. And the fact that you posted here shows your trying. Gl mama. Please keep me
Hi, I am currently going through a taper off a very strong drug. I am happy to private message you to support you in getting off the drug and other issues whenever you want. I know you can do this.
It's great that you want to get off of the pills since you are expecting. Like mentioned by others you have to make sure you get some form of aftercare. You mentioned it is more mental for you. The withdrawals are the easy part. It's the mental part that gets everyone. That's where aftercare comes into play. You should start looking into some form of aftercare right away. It will up your odds of staying clean.
I think you're are overlooking what many are saying. The number one reason you need to talk to your ob is because not properly tapering can throw you into early labor. Talking to your doctor will allow you to be monitored and have them be able to give you proper tapering advice. This wouldn't be the first time your ob has had a patient that came to them for help. What will happen if you go into early labor? It will be too late to let them know and they will contact cps and you will then have a chance of loosing your baby. If you let them know in advance it shows that you are putting your baby before you and everything will work out. Look at it this way, telling your doctor is just an insurance policy that everything will work out for your baby, for you and your family. Not telling your doctor is a crap shoot. Sure, everything may work out but if I were you I would hate to look back and knowing all I had to do was get that insurance policy.
I know it would be extremely difficult to fill your doctor in but it will save a lot of heartache for you down the road. I've never heard of anyone on here regret telling their doctor. The were relieved once they did and you will be too.
Either way, everyone here will support you in your battle with addiction. You came here for support and advice but you are over looking the advice. Please do what's right for your baby and for you. You need to be properly monitored while going through withdrawals.
BMDAD- You could not be more than right! This is all mental when it comes down to it and your past the physical withdrawals. When I was 19 I was introduced to the wonderful world of METH. I did that for a year until I went to jail twice on a marijuana charge and DFCAS paid me a visit. They turned guardianship of my daughter over to my aunt and in order to get her back I had to take drug tests for months and attend classes. I had a choice when I walked out of that jail cell to turn and go the other way and have my fun without my child, but I knew what the right thing to do was. I have been clean now going on 7 years. And here I am AGAIN...these uppers are really my downfall. I CAN NOT WAIT to have this baby and start seeing someone on a regular basis so that I can talk and figure out whats going on with me. My brother and mother are both ADD and my last therapist said I was depressed and had OCD tendencies. I think maybe if I find the right person and the right type of meds I can live a happy life. I would rather take an anti depressant than struggle with this addicton ANYDAY. Thank you for your concern, can't wait until you read my success story. I am so glad I am not alone anymore!
My husband is the absolute greatest. I really don't know what I would do without him. He loves this baby just as much, is not more than I do. We both had a long talk and realized that there is no more "Just one more time." I can't say it enough, I am done and I know its hard to hear coming from an addict, but I am.
I know it has been said but do you understand that it can be dangerous and can harm the baby by going cold turkey? That's why it's so important to do a proper, supervised taper when pregnant. Not that I'm recommending you to continue using but I have heard a few nurses on here say that it can me more dangerous to the baby to go cold turkey than to continue using within reason. That is why everyone has recommended talking to you ob.
I know that you're going to do what you're going to do and we will support you either way but please consider talking to your doctor. You have nothing to be scared or ashamed of. You won't have to worry about any kind of unknown if you are under the care of an ob who knows what's really going on.
One more perspective...Where is this going? Say you do manage to ween or go cold turkey. Say you are very lucky (or God protects your baby.) You are going to feel like, "Hey, I got this." Chances are you'll pick it back up.
I didn't use drugs while I was pregnant, but I waisted 6 of the best years of my children's life, taking pain meds and telling myself it was ok. It's not ok. You only think you are being a good mom to your daughter on the pills. I thought I was super teacher! But if you read the posts here long enough, you will find that almost everyone was a bit delusional while taking opiates. Probably doesn't need to be said, but if you take a little now, you'll be taking a lot later. If you ever decide to drop it or get clean you will look back and think, "Where did the time go?" My children are teenagers and I barely remember them growing up. An you won't be being nostalgic. You really won't remember! Just something to think about in addition to all the good advice you've been given. Why not do it now and you won't ever have to look back?
Okay..NeedstoStop8..I first read your comment and yes, passed major judgement although Im in no position too. I mean, I took a pee soaked pill last week..and then I thought what if last week or last month or all last summer when I was BLAZING through pills and found out I was pregnant? I don't think I could stop right away. I know its awful, but its the truth.. The position that some of these posters here are in now are greatly different when they were say, boozehounds or meth-heads or pillpoppers...So now their mental state is much clearer and more easily can hand down their judgements to us lol and proudly state that THEY would NEVER! do ANYTHING like THAT!!!!! *GASP*
I know that you love your son and the baby growing inside you. I understand your need not to tell your doctor too. Not all doctors are as understanding and give the support that some of these lucky posters have had and could create a whooole lot of stress and backfire on you immensely that would most likely want to make you use again. This isnt about you quitting forever and ever, the thought of that probably makes you nervous. But you just..You need to get some control. You are going to be prescribed painkillers after giving birth and you'll want to start taking them again. Control. Control yourself for 8 weeks. Focus on getting through the pregnancy. I don't know about 3d or 4d sonograms, but maybe tape it around the pill bottle, or right beside your bedside table. Or in the bathroom when you are feeling the withdrawals. Look at it. Keep looking at it. Keep focusing on him. Hopefully when you get tempted to use again, that would distract you. You're a good mother. You're going to be okay. Have some faith in yourself.
Justme119- I understand exactly what you are saying, as of now there are times i dont remember and know that I should. I know I keep talking about my son in my belly but I also have this precious 8 year old girl that I love dearly. I already think ''Where did the time go.'' and I can't get that time back, but I can focus on the time I have left. Yesterday would have been my day to spend $50 and pick up 10 percocet 10's. Instead, when my daughter got home from school I took her on a little shopping trip. We spent that $50 on her some very cute clothes that I let her pick out all by herself. Lord knows she already has everything she needs, my child doesnt want for anything, but I felt so much pride and so much joy knowing that would have never happened if I would have been living life my normal way. I am scared of not enjoying life without these pills. My husband has already called me from work today, just to talk. We laughed about how much fun those pills make life, and then how much better we are than them. Bless that man. Here I am sitting at home going through WD and thinking about how hard its going to be, and there he is working his *** off for our family and going through the same thing. He is my rock, but you guys aree seriously in my thoughts day and night ever since I posted in this forum 3 days ago. I never knew how much a strangers support could help.
THEBELLEPOQUE- Thank you so much for expressing your opinion in the doctor situation. My thoughts are "What if they don't understand?"...I know alot of you feel strongly about this situation and im sorry if you dont agree, just know that I am getting so much help from just being here and reading all these stories. I know I can do this!
Saturday- I took 10mg of hyrdo
Sunday- I took 25mg of hydro
Monday I took 5mg of hydro
Tuesday I took 5mg of hydro
Wednesday- my first day without any at all
See my slip up on Sunday? Thats why I am not good at tapering, but I do feel a way that I havn't felt ever before. I feel like I am DONE and this is the end and all I can do is smile! I havn't felt the 1st bit uncomfortable, now WD's yet, although today is day 1 without any at all. Keep in mind I was a 25-30mg a day and maybe once a week 45mg addict. I feel like my body and this baby will not suffer through the physical part so much, its all more mental!
I couldnt sleep well this morning. Woke up at 4am and decided since I didnt feel bad and just had insomnia why not get my house cleaned up and ready for the day? A dirty house is one of my triggers, I feel in order to get it cleaned back up, I have to have a pill. After I sent my daughter to school I feel asleep for 4 hours! Woohoo I slept good and woke up to a clean house and HERE I AM! If I start to feel my body aching or getting tired I am headed to the gym (we have one in our apt complex) to get on the spin bike and read a book then off to a warm bath of epsom salt. I feel so wonderful and ready to take on whatever is coming my way! I just hope it stays this way. I will work on my 8 weeks of sobriety first, give birth to a healthy baby and then worry about ME and how the rest of my life is going to play out. I am not going to be an addict ANYMORE!
It's ok to disagree, and to not like what someone says, but public insults aren't allowed. If you find a post abusive or insulting, please use the Report feature on each post. If you move your mouse over to the upper right side of each post, you'll see "Report" appear, and you can click on that, and choose the appropriate one.
I posted 2 hours ago about my update for the day! I have already jumped into a warm bath with a book and just relaxed. I can feel the WD's coming on, im sure they will be way worse tomorrow. The one thing I can't stand is not having any energy. Not one time has the thought of taking another pill crossed my mind. I may feel like **** for about a week and even not so great as I was this morning, but im still smiling because I know what the future holds for me. Once im past the physical WD's I think I will be ok. I can keep busy with my baby showers and getting the nursery finished! :) Thank you for asking!
I wanted to check in on you as you have been on my mind. I want you to know that regardless of whether or not I agree with HOW you are doing this, I wish you every success on your journey. I also wish you a healthy, safe delivery, a healthy child and all of you a lifetime of happiness. Just last two cents here..lol. If the wd's get bad, please seek medical attention. If it's hard on you, it's hard on the baby too and I truly only am thinking of what is best for both of you. I am cheering you on, and I know you can beat this!
Adgal- I appreciate your comment and I know you just want whats best for me and baby. I can promise you and everyone else on this post that has been begging me to tell the doctor, that if it gets to much to handle I will call the doc asap. I know my limits and I would never put my baby in such aganoy. Yes it ***** for me. Another pill would make me feel better, but honestly its all in my head and I know this. Today started out wonderful, felt a little bad around afternoon but even better as of now. Thank you for your encouragement. I will be on tomorrow to let everyone know what going on. Just sitting here and checking this site every hour makes me feel so strong.
I hope you are doing ok tonight. I'm not completely "delivered" from all this. Trying to take care of my pain without the pills right now. I'm on day 34 from taking about 12-14 pills a day. You can do this. Try to be aware of the babies movement and watch for contractions. Not trying to scare you, just motherly advice. I'm not a nurse or anything like some of the people here. But you have those people here if you need them. Don't be afraid to say what's going on. Take what advice you need and leave the rest. God Bless.
I have been reading this thread for a day or so and have been conflicted on what to say. I am not one to judge anyone so have decided to support you. what really worries me is what the baby might go through but if you feel comfortable doing this I wish you the best. Your are far enough along where if something goes wrong the baby will be big enough to make it. I am 10 Days clean and know the hell I went through. If it gets to much, please go to the emergency room. They wont know why you are in early labor. The baby may take longer to withdraw since the pills are probably in the amniotic fluid and it feeds off that. The one thing I worry about is the vomiting and diarreha you will experience. I lost 18 pounds in a few weeks between slowly tapering and then being offf. Pregnant women are not supposed to lose weight.
As just said, pay attention to the babies movements in the next few days. I imagine he is going to start kicking more and moving around. They are people too and feel things we do. He has been high with you and will now withdraw with you. You two will be in my prayers in the coming days.
Keep Hydrated as hard as it will be. Good luck! I am rooting for you.
I didn't read through all these posts on here but I am assuming you probably got a lot of negative feedback because of the pregnant part. But I've had three babies and was on pain meds with all three. My third I was using far more than was perscribed to me. Go to my profile and message me and we can talk. I can help you through all of this!
I was thinking of you and baby all day today. I was visiting with my aunt who is a flabotamist. (sp) she draws the blood on newborns and mommys. And
From what I heard since you have been taking them almost your whole pregnancy it may take a longer for the baby to wd. I will pray fr you every day. But just please consider confiding in your ob. Cause no one knows how bad that baby has it. But keep up the good work mama. Relax and take it easy.
Hi again. I just can't seem to stop thinking about you and your situation. I found a resource for you that might be helpful. Again, my concern is not your ability to get and stay off the drugs (I believe you that you can!), it's the withdrawing on your own and fear for the babies health. So this is a 24 hour, confidential hotline you can call to get professional advice and referrals to clinics that kind of do what the one I work with does. Non judgemental, supportive help in going through this safely. If you choose to seek medical assistance, you might find the atmosphere at one of these places far less threatening then your own Dr. So, if you decide you need it, the phone no. is 1-800-390-4056, and it's The Alcohol and Drug Addiction Resource Center. My understanding is that all calls are confidential. Just in case.
Hope your doing well today, I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I have faith in you and you are an incredible, strong....and your husband rocks. Keep your chin up and head high and keep telling yourself....I am in control...and give ur baby boy alittle squeeze from me. You are doing awesome.
Hey everyone! Havn't been on my computer really today. Sorry for the late update :) Anyways , last night was really sleepless. I tossed and turned alot but slept alot better than I thought I would. When I got my girl off to school I feel asleep for 4 more hours! :) and slept very well. Today has been great! Its day 2 for me completely without. My last pill (hydro 5mg) was at 10am on Tuesday! It will be 72 hours at 10 in the morning. So far I havn't felt the least bit nauseated, no diarrhea, no cramping, ive been eating like a pig, and baby has been moving like always :) I usually feel awful if its been a day without and now im on day 2! I cant believe it. Im guessing its the new mindset I have and the fact it HAS to be done! I have kept busy all day today. Its hard to get motivated but I know it will make the day get by faster and the WD's in the past. Im guessing the little bit of weaning I did helped? I havn't went without a pain pill for 2 days since I was 6wks pregnant. Even if all I had was 5mg I took it. With that being said, I am so proud of myself. I am almost on day 3 and I am so excited for this all to be behind me. I am focusing on a plan for after the baby. I know it will be hard to stay off but the fact that I want to breastfeed only gives me incentive. Although my plan is to start seeing a counsler or therapist so I can just talk things out in general. Complete strangers like you all are whats pushing me through this, it really really is. The strength I get every TIME I read one of your post just makes everything seem like its ok to bo OK and Ive got this!
Hearing that you have been 2 days completely off and without any serious wd's now makes me breathe a little easier. I truly am happy to hear that. And hearing that the baby is moving as usual is also very comforting to me, so I can only imagine how happy that makes you. Also glad to hear your planning aftercare. It sounds to me like you have a good plan in place for yourself and taking care of you is the absolute best thing you can do for your children. A new baby is a wonderful incentive to make changes in our lives and I truly believe in you. I could tell you success story after success story of women just like you who have made it. I have seen it time and time again. You can be one of them as well!!
Yes I'm taking a deep breath here too! Good job on 2 days...now hang in there and make sure you seek that aftercare. You're doing great....I'm still worried about what may happen during delivery but as far as the detoxing goes, way to go!
Eat some bananas, take your prenatals, and drink drink drink those fluids.
I am also suprised and relieved I have went this long and have felt the way I have. Your words are very encouraging ADGAL. :) I went to Walmart yesterday ( 'forced myself ' is a better phrase) and picked up some Epsom salt, regular tylenol and tylenol pm. The PM's are for at night and then I take the regular tylenol every 4-6 hours and I soak in a warm bath when I am feeling BLAH. It makes my body feel better and it makes me sleepy so I try to nap whenever I can. It makes the time go by faster when I sleep :) Although at night is when Ive been restless and the mornings are usually when I get some sleep in. I have been drinking plenty of water as well. Tomorrow my husband is off work. We both have been 2 days and now this is the 3rd. On his off days we always did a pickup and then just hung out for the day. Its a trigger for me when he is home but I feel completely different this time around. Im excited about hanging out and getting some small stuff done (keeping busy) without the pills!
No, I still worry that they will test the meconium and without a proper heads-up about your usage it could cause some problems. I do think the baby will be fine as far as withdrawals go as long as you make it to full-term (which you should, I don't see why not) :-).
Would you feel comfortable talking about your OB with your usage AFTER you've detoxed? that way you wouldn't feel like they could get you in trouble for using the drugs since you wouldn't be using anymore, but at least your doc would know that the drug test would come up positive after delivery and there would be no surprises? just a thought...you could always talk to your counselor about it!
Sounds like things are going great. I have faith that you are able to kick the pills. It's the longterm sobriety that seems to be the challenge. Everyday and unexpected stressors seem to reel us back in if we are not careful. You are going to have your hands full with a beautiful new baby and breastfeeding is no doubt exhausting. I hope you have a plan to find time for you. I'm so happy that your husband is so supportive and he seems to be the love of your life. That is certainly going to help you along. You are growing as a family and that's what counts.
Start preparing yourselves for aftercare. An hour out without the kids to grab a coffee and a meeting would be great for both of you. This new life you are aiming for really has the potential to strengthen your marriage and bring you closer together. Try to learn as many things together so that you are on the same page..NA meetings, parenting classes and get togethers with other parents who have struggled with addiction. Whatever it takes to spend positive moments together will be memorable. It's these good times that you will have to relflect on if things get tough. Take lots of pictures and make a special album together. These last few weeks are precious and soon your beautiful belly will be gone. Take care. I'm sending heartfelt hugs your way.
You have a great idea and I can see where your concern is. As long as baby comes out and doesn't show any signs of withdrawal then they have NO reason to test. Thats just how my doctors do things. But if I can get comfortable enough in one visit to say anything, I might. Not promising anything because if I am clean on my own and stay that way then I feel like I am in the clear. Its just a big fear of mine. Who knows if my doctor would even be understanding?
Things are great :) Woke up at 4 this morning and couldnt get back to sleep. Slept pretty good up until then though. Hubbys check just direct deposited in the bank so I got up and went ahead and balanced out the checkbook. The left over money is usually for pills but I have ordered my sons crib bedding set and went ahead and paid for my computer to be fixed. (Something we have held off for a long time because of the money we were wasting) If the money isn't there then its easier. Although I will say I have no urge WHATSOEVER to even consider going and getting anymore. My hubby and I are going out to lunch today and going around town getting odds and ends done! Anything to keep us busy! We have our weekend planned out and I can honestly say this is getting easier. You are very right, though. I do need to make sure that after baby is here we stay on the straight path. It will take everything in me but I will get it done. :) Hope everyone has a wonderful day! I will check in tonight.
Woke up from a nap with a craving! Nipped it in the bud real quick! Of course its still there a little but I took me a hot shower and got all dressed up, make- up, heels and jeans :) going out for lunch with the hubby...I am amazed how I feel physically...I have my energy BACK!!!! I hope someone who is going through my same situation is reading this....you can do it if I can!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Day 3 for me :)))))
No, really, no one should do this. It's horribly unsafe and should never be promoted and supported. There's no judgment here; just the truth and it needs to be said: Do not stop opiates cold turkey in pregnancy. It's dangerous.
I have to agree that it's really not a good idea to encourage people to quit cold turkey while pregnant - we've had some moms do it, and some moms taper, but almost all of them have done it with their OB's guidance and oversight. That's REALLY important!
But in your situation, how's it going? I'm still surprised you think the doctors won't test you, but obviously you don't want to believe me that very often it's SOP in a hospital setting for labor and delivery....especially if they suspect drug use. did you have a blood/urine test done in the beginning/middle of your pregnancy for things like blood type, HIV, etc? if so, they drug tested you then.
And they won't always tell you if you've tested positive while pregnant - some doctors will wait and see if you come to them first to give you a chance, because once they open a dialogue with you about it, they have to report it to the proper authorities.
I know this because when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was put on Tylenol #3 in the middle of my pregnancy to manage kidney pain, and right around that time my OB went out of town and I saw a sub for about 3 appointments...it wasn't until the third appointment that he goes "You know, you really should stop taking the morphine." I was flabbergasted...I was like "...wait, what? what morphine?" and he goes "your urine has tested positive for morphine the last 3 visits...I was waiting to see if you would say anything to me, but I really need to talk to you about it." I was completely baffled at this point because I was NOT doing morphine...turns out codeine metabolizes as morphine onto drug screens and it was a "false" positive - they did a more thorough test and my name was cleared, BUT my point is that they may have been testing you and just waiting to see if you would speak to them first...never assume that they haven't picked it up already.
Anyway I guess I"m beating a dead horse. You're 72 hours in now, right? How's everything feeling? has baby been quiet at all? it's actually more important to notice quiet time during detox/taper than it is to notice activity, because baby could be hyperactive due to the discomfort of withdrawals and you really want to make sure that baby has rested and isn't wildly uncomfortable.
I also have to agree. I am not going to take anything away from you - I'm glad to hear your doing so well. But to detox or withdraw while pregnant without medical supervision is dangerous. Can it be done? Sure. But it can also have some pretty serious consequences. So please, although I am happy for you, encouraging others to do it this way is just not a great idea.
I need to add on to drug testing with infants as well. There are many many things that can trigger drug testing. Any known history for one. Also, certain medical conditions that aren't necessarily caused by drugs, but could be. For example, I have never done drugs in my life. I'm the child of an addict, so was really terrified of anything like that. My son was born a low birthweight baby and they aren't certain why my placenta shut down. That can be a result of drug use, so he was tested. And testing is not an automatic thing were I live either. But any chance whatsoever, and they do test.
I still think you should talk to your Dr. There is no reason to be afraid, especially now that you and your husband are getting off the pills. When CPS gets involved here, they look at the whole big picture. Having or having had a problem with drugs does not get your child removed. It's only one small piece in a rather large picture.
I am still rooting for you, but do feel it's important to be honest with you. I hope you reconsider and talk to a Dr. If not your own, then at a women's health clinic or something. Trust me, this will not be anything new for them, I promise you that.
When I was pregnant with my second child I had two medical problems, one was chronic intractable migraines, the other was that I developed hyperthyroidism while I was in my first trimester. After the first trimester was over I was prescribed both oxcycodone for the migraines and xanax for the hyperthyroidism (my heart pounded so hard I thought I would die and they were limited in the types of medications they could put me on). However I was limited to a small dose of the pain medication and could only take it when I simply could not function. Due to my chronic migraines I also became addicted to pain medication, not while I was pregnant but even then I was on my way. It totally destroyed my whole life, I lost my job where I made excellent money, my house because I couldn't work and I lost my marriage. My kids were 16 and 10, even after losing everything I was still in denial and would not admit that I had a problem. I couldn't keep a job, which meant I had to move in with family and leave my kids with their Dad. I went back to school and am just finishing up my graduate degree and finally going into treatment. Get help from someone NOW!!!! Don't do to your family what I did to mine, if you won't talk to your doc. talk to a drug counselor or go to planned parenthood, I promise that just because you want to quit doesn't mean you will be able to and even if you can without help how long do you really think it will last once you have had that precious child. There is nothing to be ashamed of, addicition is a disease and doctors will treat it just like they would if you had any other disease. I quit smoking when I was pregnant both times but as soon as it was safe I lit right back up. If you want to give this child a good life you and your husband need to get help NOW. Don't make the same mistakes that I made. I hurt so many people you have the chance to get help before this child is brought into the world and to get clean and stay clean so that you don't hurt your child later on down the road. Get on the internet and look for a drug counselor in your area talk to them as soon as possible they will be able to support you and give you the facts on what your child might face if he/she is born addicted. They can also help you appoach your doctor, don't wait one more minute and Please don't try and do this on your own, you don't have to there are people out there who care and are there to help. I hope only the best for you and your family and will be praying that you do the right thing for your unborn child.
If you are not comfortable being straight up with your doctor, just consider telling he/she at one of your last appts before your due date that you need to get something off your chest. Perhaps say that you had been having some really bad pain for XYZ and a friend shared some of their prescription with you, but that's is really been worrying you about the baby's safety so you wanted to check in. Really take ownership of having done something stupid and express your very real concern for what you have exposed your child to.
I know it's not entirely *true* and I think once you're through detox you SHOULD feel more comfortable being candid with you doctor, but it's something. You are giving them a heads up, she can put a note in your file and should something unforeseen happen, you will all be better prepared. Weird things happen during labor all the time. You know that, I know that, it's just life.
Again. I hope once you're through detox you will feel more comfortable being 100% candid with you doctor, but just think about it as a half-way option.
You are right Vicki. No one should quit pain pills cold turkey. But I am my own person and I know my own body and my own situation. I am going to talk to the doc at my 37 week appt. I will be clean and then they will know my past if anything should occur. Thanks for all your helpful info ;)
Jane, you are so much more than right. I will definatly have a plan for when the baby is born. A plan for myself. I will be breastfeeding (if he will) and that will encourage me to stay off until my 1st appt with a therapist. I know I can't do this alone. I really really know that.
Today has been hard on me mentally. I woke up in a wonderful mood and then it quickly went to hell. I really wanted a pain pill!!!!!!! it has been 81 hours without and I still havnt vomited or had any diarrhea. I have been anxious today though. It has been hard. I always thought that if baby wasnt moving I should be worried. He has been as active as he has always been, no more no less. Someone mentioned that if he moves to much then that may mean distress. All is well as far as im concerned, but I am no doctor. I have an appt on the 11th with my doctor and im ready to hear that all is STILL well.....I know this pisses some people off but this is my own situation and I feel i know my body more than my own doctor.
Just stay as calm as possible, meditate, rest, eat good food, rest some more and keep your body as peaceful and nourishing a place as possible. You're going to feel up and then down and then up and then down, but always remember that means you'll feel up again soon. :)
And the good news is you're almost done! Just take good care of you and your baby right now.
I know you are your own person and, honestly, I posted for anyone who might read this thread in the future and think it's fine to do this. It's not fine at all, although it happens quite often really...It's just that many young Moms are not aware of the dangers,fetal seizures,etc... as you are.
I really am scared to talk to my doctor but I know its the right thing to do. I want to be clean though because what if he isnt so GREAT like everybody elses doctor is?!?!?!? I will do so at my 37 week appt.
if he isn't great, then what? he tests baby, but if you show a history of drug use (that he knows about) but are currently clean, there's not much he can do other than have a social worker talk to you. it's CURRENT usage and "surprise" positives on drug screens that cause issues with CPS.
As long as he knows the truth, and you are clean when you say you are, there's not much he can do from a legal standpoint. so even if he isn't "great"...there's not really much to fear.
besides, you know the alternative and that would scare the crap out of me, personally - wait and just see and hope no positives crop up...THAT could get messy.
I think it's scary too. I would be pretty nervous so I understand that...maybe if your husband went with you? Would that help? The doctor can't really "do" anything to you for sharing the info, as Ash said.
I think this is a ton of pressure for you and you're already having a bad day...Rest,keep up with those fluids,and sleep on it...
I have thought about my husband coming with me and he will def do that if I ask him to. I think it will make it better on me and maybe the doctor will see we are concerned. I KNOW it seems I am doing this just to stay out of trouble, if I really didnt care I would have continued with my pill popping and told the doctor what I was doing and let them know my baby will be addicted when born so be ready to treat him. I dont want my son to be born and suffer I really am thinking of us both. I really like what Ashelen said and it does make since...if they want to monitor me after pregnancy and drug test me weekly but let me keep my son then that would be fine with me.It would keep me clean that much longer! No way I would risk a failed drug test over my son. I just dont want a big ordeal in front of all my family with CPS. They have NO IDEA that I am doing this and it would break everyones heart.....
It's likely that the worst case scenario (based on what you have shared here) is you wind up with home visits for a period of time from a social worker. You could possibly be required to do drug testing for a while. This is not always a bad thing and I know for many women this has been an extra incentive to stay sober. But again, even that extreme is not likely.
I feel like you are thinking this through a little bit more so let's try to put this into perspective a little bit.
Your not telling because you are afraid of the possible consequences. But if you really think about it, that means you are putting your fear ahead of this babies health and well being. IF CPS is called in, you putting your babies well being in front of your own goes a long way in showing you are able to parent that child. If you don't, and for any reason they decide to test, the fact that you did not tell will not go over well. It is not in your or that babies best interest to hide this.
I know your scared. All of us, regardless of what we have done, worry about being judged. Remember that no one is perfect. We all have made decisions we wish we could change. But part of moving forward is doing the best we can to set past mistakes right, then we need to close that chapter. OB"s see it all. Trust me, you will not be the first to confess this, and you will not be the last. You cannot take back the last 32 weeks. But make part of getting clean doing the right thing for that baby starting today. You love that child, I don't doubt that for a second. So now, as hard as it is, you have to put your fear aside for him. I cannot promise you CPS won't look into the situation. But trust me, there are more factors then drug use during pregnancy that they look at. If you are sobering up, working a program, and under medical guidance? Obviously I don't know all the details of your history or life, but based on what you have said here, I think it will probably be just fine. I really really hope you have this conversation. Ashelen is so very right in all that she says. I think you will feel so much better having this out in the open.
Oh dear...okay. There are laws that protect you. Your privacy must be protected and no one is going to want to upset you. YOU are still in charge with this, no matter what. I'm thinking you might feel a lot better if you tell the doctor about this and discuss the concerns about family and friends...he'll tell you that no one is going to embarrass you. It becomes a completely private matter.
You don't have to go over every fine detail with the doctor either. He doesn't need to know dates as much as "just the facts". "I did this for this long. I'm not anymore and I just wanted you to know." He may have a question or two. Try to answer honestly,you can probably leave out the snorting part...know what I mean? You're still telling him the truth...
I think "adgal" can reassure you on this part and the laws. She's in the business. I know in nursing,everyone is extremely discreet because that is the law and we should be anyway!
Something you just said sounds sooooo right on to me - it's like it echoed over here, "I think you will feel so much better having this out in the open."
As scary as it is beforehand, something is telling me this is true. The relief you will feel and the reality of what the consequences (if there are any) might be, are gonna be SO huge for you after worrying for 32 weeks straight. That feeling alone might be worth it! :)
Jenny- You're right about that! My addiction was a HUGE secret for a long time and I think THAT hurt me as much as the pills...when I started confessing from home to across the country, i couldn't shut about it! I felt that relieved...
Oh yes, confidentiality is a huge huge thing. You wouldn't believe how careful anyone working in this area has to be. Huge repercussions for all of us otherwise. I think people have visions of CPS and like organizations roaming their neighborhood, interviewing neighbors, family members, friends. I can tell you that the only time things like that happen is in serious abuse or child neglect situations, or complaints from said neighbor or family member, that sort of thing. It is extremely unlikely that sort of thing would happen in this kind of case. Remember that the ultimate goal is to keep families intact. Having an issue with addiction doesn't mean you are a neglectful or bad parent. They don't just storm in and start removing kids, or turning your life upside down.
Sorry, ultimate goal is to keep children safe - if that has been established then the goal is to keep families together. They may help you find different resources, etc. to help you out to. It's not always a bad thing.
Sorry I was out for a couple of hours but I agree completely with the advice you're getting here. There are laws that protect you and as long as they see an effort to make a healthy choice for your baby, they are going to do whatever they can to aid you. They do NOT want you and baby separated, they do NOT want you to get in trouble - they want you both to be healthy, and together. Once they know the truth, they can help you get the resources and skills that you need to have that happen. I had one of the pregnant ladies who is a recovering addict message me earlier because of this thread (I won't share her name - she's welcome to if she wants to) afraid that she would be in trouble once she had spoken to her OB. So you are NOT the only one who is afraid, and it's completely understandable! But the truth is, they are NOT out to get you...
when you go to a doctor, you go because they have the knowledge and skills to help you through whatever it is you need. Be that a cold, an infection, pregnancy - they have the experience. This is just another situation where your doctor can provide you with his services to help make your life healthier, and your baby's life healthier. It's no different. But in order to do that, he has to know first. That's all this is..informing him of your "medically relevant history" in order to make the best treatment plan for your future.
When you tell your doc remeber that he/she is under the HIPPA laws, unless you were harming your baby or yourself this person cannot tell anyone else about your situation. I believe in this case that if they see your trying to get clean and not use then they are obligated to help you and cannot disclose your condition to anyone else. I totally understand why you are scared but I also feel that the rest of your pregancy would be more enjoyable and comfertable if you told someone. Make a plan and next time you see the doc just tell the person that you are scared for your child and for yourself. What profession probably has a large number of people who have the same problem? The health care workers who have greater access to the medication. They are professionally trained to assist you. If you can't tell your ob in fear that they may judge you why not try a psychiatrist, they are also trained to assist in these matters and they cannot break client cofidentiality either. I know you are so scared and miserable and your child is feeling the same thing you are. Sometimes we have to make hard choices concerning our children, look up the law for this type of thing in your state. When my second baby was born he had the same symptoms as I did with my hyperthyroidism his little body had tremors for over 6 weeks until my antibodies left his system. The nureses knew what to look for and if your baby is in withdraw or distress they will notice and quickly. I am not trying to tell you what to do, it is your body but wouldn't it be nice to hear that the baby is fine when you have her. The constant worry that something may go wrong or you won't be able to quit will make you a nervous wreck. Tapering down from the meds would be the safest thing for both you and your child and the doctor could assist you with this.I am so worried for you and really do understand and so will your doctor. I promise you that they have heard about far worse than taking the amount your taking. The quicker you get into sometype of treatment program the better your going to feel inside and out; Fight the battle now and start fighting the war when you give birth to that precious baby. Hopefully you will have a caring supportive doc if not you always have the right to find another one, even this late in the game. I am not quite sure where you are getting your meds but if it is off the street they may not be entirely safe. The doc can give you safe medication and taper you off. Do you have a close friend or a good support system that might go with you when you talk to your doc?
I hear the fear in your post, and I respect your position about wanting to wait before you tell your ob but I would do some research on the internet about the subject and get some facts about what might happen if you try and go this alone. I know you want the best for this baby I can also see that in your post. Get some more information from some reputable sights, weigh the pro's and con's of telling VS. not telling your doc. If there are more pro's than there are con's then the answer seems pretty clear cut. It sounds as if the only con you have at this time is that your scared, ashamed and feeling alot of guilt. Don't let those feeling stop you from doing what is best for you and that little girl. At this point all you have to fear is fear itself, I know that sound a little silly but what other reason do you feel you have for not confinding in your doc? Make a list of your concerns, do some research on what the law is and what the best course of action to take. If I went into my docs office right now and said I had been taking medication illeagally and wanted help they would be obligated to help me, and do it in a confidential manner. The same thing applies to you too. .WD stinks and you don't have to go it alone.. God bless, so worried about you and your baby, if you would like me to help you make a list of the pro's and cons please let me know, I would be glad to help you anyway that I can. This is not something that happened because you don't love your child it happened because your an addict Starting to get help now will make trying to take care of two kids, a husband and all your other responsibilites alot smother in the long run. I wish that I would have had this support board when I was having the most problems with my addiction but I was in denial. I think if you listen to your heart you will realize that you are also in denial but once the problem is out there in the open and you admit to yourself and your doc that you have a problem the denial will go away and when the denial is gone the stronger you will feel to solve the problem which is addiction.
I am so sorry that I kept calling your baby a girl (I am a lot tired but, can't sleep). Another idea is to call the State board of Medicine in your state and see how the law applies to your situation. Get all the information you need to feel better about being open and honest with your doc, yourself and and at some point those who love you and care about you. Preganancy is a scary time anyway and keeping this type of secret from your doc because your scared, or feel guilty isn't a good enough reason not to tell them. They aren't going to call in the police or the drug czar, and if they call anyone it will be people who are there to support and assist you, not make you feel worse. Will be thinking about you and your family.
Hi there! Ive been following your posts and Im so proud of you for sticking with it and not caving in! I know its sooo hard sometimes,,esp the mental part! I see that you feel very positive that your pregnancy is going well and your baby is healthy. Im a pessimest so here goes,,,Do you have a plan in place should something arise if you go into early labor or the baby shows any signs of distress? I just think you need to think all sides of this situation that you are in and be prepared. Have a plan B in place. I truly am concerned for you and not at all trying to be a b----,,,I pray that all is well for you and your baby. I just would hate to see that this somehow took a turn/twist and then you get in a really bad situation. Have you got rid of your supply? If you still have pills around you will only be playing with fire and it only would be a matter of time then that you'd cave. You moods are going to fluctuate all over the place in the beginning,,just take it slow and easy. The less stress you are under the less stress the baby will feel. I wish you the best sweetie!! Hang in there. ~Bkitty
81 hours is huge congrats. You have a lot of great advise here. I'd like to say you are both staying in my prayers. Please try and stay in the day, the hour, the minute. If you can ask God for help, try and relax and not focus on anything negative right now it's all about you. Breathe and take care of yourself every hour that goes by that you don't take a pill you are a howling success. God knows what's in your heart try not to worry God will let you know if something's wrong and you will deal with it then. I have experience with addiction during pregnancy and babies born in my family addicted. You are in good hands with your Dr relax and let God run this show.
I will say this, I KNOW truly how you feel. All the above advice is as good as it gets, and it rings true, so very true. Ive sat and cried reading and the winsertion things these ladies are telling you. They truly have your and baby's best interest at heart. The outpouring of support is overwhelming. I encourage you to to do as they've said and tell your OB for your and baby's health and safety. I've already quit, I'm 20 weeks today, and although I've had a few slip ups I'm telling my doctor about my past use at my next appointment just so he will know in case any future complications arise. I didn't find out I was pregnant until late and my first appointment was at 16 weeks. This next one is my 2nd appointment. You and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck and if you ever want to talk, please feel free to message me on here anytime.
Hello everybody! All is well here, its been a little while since ive been on this post. I have found a great group of people in a private forum that have been very supportive of my decisions, as I am my own person and know me best! I do want to thank everyone for their judgment upon me as well as the supportive comments! I know everyone doesn't agree about some things and thats fine and dandy. My husband says I need to get off the web and stop stressing myself out. I am being torn in every different direction and all I want to do is be OK with my own decisions because in the long run, thats what counts. I will keep everyone updated from time to time and you all will surely have a verdict in the next 8 weeks! I know you all just can't wait.....So with that being said, if you really care and dont feel the need to talk me into your own situation and what yo would do if you were me, you can PM me and I will surely reply. BTW I am doing just fine, and so is baby!
I'm so sorry you felt judged. I suspect it was just out of concern for you and not any desire to actually judge you. I do hope you update and let everyone know how your doing. Take good care, and all the best to you.
I'm sorry you felt judged, but I always say that the easy answer is rarely the honest answer, and the honest answer is rarely easy.
Please keep us posted with what's going on with you...and I'm glad you found a place that you feel is giving you support, but remember that an addict's brain is good at lying - if you think everything is easy and all you have to do is "try"..chances are you're missing something. If "trying" is all it took, NO one would be an addict.
Anyway....I really can;t wait for your update, 8wks is so close! I am due with #3 in the beginning of April and I'm already getting excited :-).
Ashelen, doctors "do" things all the time,and there is much to fear.
They can cut her off and say "sorry cant help ya" and fire her from the practice, baby and all. Put it in her medical records, do a medcheck on her and call and tell all her other doctors INCLUDING DENTIST, file a report on her at the DEA,and when her new doctors call to get the medical records faxed over, then they tell the new doctor. Most doctors will not tolerate abuse of medication because they dont WANT to, they have to cover their own ***..and yes, im speaking of personal experiance..and things worked themselves out and I found a new,less rigid doctor where when i AM ready to come clean, i know i can tell him and he wont act like its the most disgusting and unheard of thing on the planet.
It will go in her medical records and God forbid, i nthe future if she hurts herself or breaks her leg, they most likely won't prescribe her anything for pain meds.
I believe that needstostop loves her baby..and I believe that if she thinks something is wrong, really wrong, then she will say to hell with the above and then come clean to her doctors or tell them or something..but that hasnt happened yet, and it may not.
My esthetician adopted a baby a few years ago and the mother took large dosages of lortab everyday..and the baby was fine. Healthy,perfect..He is now 6 years old and starting kindergarten and STILL fine.Now, i know this is just one example but...I think she needs to do whats right for her and her situation. If being the martyr and valiantly coming forth to her doctor and everyone around her will bring her a ration of **** when the baby turns out to be okay, then I don't think she should.
You are correct in that Dr.'s can do things. However, I work in this field and that includes working with many many Dr.'s. The majority are concerned with one thing and one thing only. Ensuring that mom and baby are both healthy. Yes, CPS may get involved. In fact, it's likely that they will. But they too are only concerned with everyone involveds welfare. They do not just take kids from parents who are struggling with addiction. If there is no neglect or abuse (and most times there isn't), they tend to approach the family as a whole and try to find community supports, etc. to work through the issue. They know (all of us in this field know) that the best way to help the children is to help the parents. It is NOT in a childs best interest to take them from their parents unless the child is in danger. Again, rarely the case.
Struggling with addiction does not mean you are some horrid neglectful parent. It means you are struggling with addiction.
As for permanent records..again yes, it's possible. What I have found more often then not is that pain meds will still be prescribed, but increased monitoring is required, and smaller amounts are given forcing more frequent Dr.'s appointments. The medical field is not in the business of making people suffer needlessly. Some Dr.'s are difficult. If that is the case, then I promise you there are more that are not. THere is nothing wrong with switching Dr.'s. I have offered to help find a place like the agency I work with where I KNOW they are not judgemental and that the environment is supportive. That offer stands.
I too believe she loves that baby heart and sole. That has nothing to do with her addiction. But I think we all know that part of recovery is taking responsibility for actions, doing your best to correct them, then putting them behind you. Until a problem is acknowledged and responsibility taken, you cannot possibly begin to resolve things.
I am glad the baby you speak of is fine. I also have seen things turn our well. I have also seen them turn out not so well. That is a bit like saying, it's ok to play Russian Roulette, cause chances are I won't get the chamber with the bullet in it. Is it worth it?
It is not martyrdom to come forward to your Dr. It is a sign of being serious about recovery, and doing what is responsible for the well being of your child. She will do what she feels is right. Personally, I will support her regardless. But I will not say that not coming forward to the Dr. is ok. It's not the best way to do this. It has nothing to do with judging. Patting someone on the back and saying it's ok is not honest, and it's not helpful. Often we have to tell people things they may not want to hear.
Everything Ashelen said is dead on correct and trust me, said in the spirit of caring cause that's who she is.
In this case, it appears that the mother deems it is worth it..and so we go from there. I never stated anywhere that Ashelen was uncaring in her response. I believe she cares, I believe we ALL care very much and that is why we are here. She isnt going to uproot her life and her families life because of what strangers post on a forum urging her to do otherwise, even if it is the general concensus to do so. Its not going to happen and it is what it is
There is ONE thing every single poster here has in common, no matter what they disagree on, agree on,even if their is not one other thing in common with this person who is radically different than us and would most likely never give them a second look on the street.. The one thing we ALL have in common : We all care. Very, very much.
So lets not poke and prod her until she gets so disgusted and annoyed she never logs back in again and we never know what happens to her OR the baby.
You're definitely right, we all do care. I think the cases you speak of are of "normal people" coming clean with their doctors about addiction. It's an entirely different ballgame when the patient is pregnant, trust me. I can't even count anymore how many pregnant women I've been through this with - doctors have to, "to protect their own @$$es", treat pregnant women differently when it comes to addiction because "firing a patient" or "cutting her off" could have devastating effects on the baby, and doctors do NOT want that liability.
I do believe in supporting someone who is struggling, and I have been supportive of her the entire time. But I also believe in honesty, because you don't get much more honest than addiction during pregnancy; it's a very cold hard reality that can't be ignored or wished away.
I DO hope that in 6-10wks she delivers a healthy baby and no complications arise. I hope that the baby is perfectly healthy, and she is healthy, and no drug screens are run. I do! I don't WANT anything ill to occur.
But I believe we are doing her a GRAVE injustice by not being real and honest about the dangers....because a positive drug screen without the doctor's prior knowledge could be DEVASTATING (no baby is not likely to be taken away, but all the "what ifs" you just described...those are far more likely to occur with a surprise positive drug screen than if the doctor knows what to expect when the patient is pregnant). honest. blunt. period.
If I were in her shoes, and no one warned me about what could happen, and I delivered a child who was given a surprise drug test that showed positive, and all of a sudden my life was turned upside-down by CPS....I would turn to the people who KNEW what could happen and go "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!??!" I would, because if I KNEW someone could've warned me, could've helped me avoid the trouble in the first place, and DIDN'T..I would feel betrayed.
So that's why I'm blunt about it. I really really wish her well, and I've invested a lot of emotion and heart into her story and I would be very sad if we never had an update and never found out what happens with her and the baby - but I, personally, would take that risk if I knew that my message had gotten through to her that this isn't something to risk.
but that's just my two cents...I truly believe that honesty is the antithesis to addiction. they cannot co-exist.
Congrats on your clean time and your hard work to do what's best for the baby. I however have a different look at this than many people here. Most are worried about the baby but I'm more worried about you. I have to ask where would you be if you were not pregnant? Addicts can not successfully quit something unless they do it for themselves and nobody else. I was sent to rehab many times by my family before I wanted to be clean and it was just qyitting to make them happy. I didn't really want tl be clean at the time. If you were not pregnant you would not be forced to be clean and it seems the baby is the only reason you are doing this. I could be wrong but you need to want tl do this for your self and not the 8 weeks clean ull have before u have your baby. You need to devlipe a plan and a good one or you'll be back tl your old ways within days of being home From the hospital. Your brain will tell you that u deserve a reward for being clean 8 weeks and you will justify it with that there is no longer any current danger in doing so seeing the baby has been born. But the truth ie there is. The real damage is to you not the baby. The life that is living and has others to take care of is more important. You need to realize that you are hurting yourself and get the help you need. If you aren't able to tell your ob you are certainly not ready to tell your family, an addiction doctor or those at NA or other programs who are willing to help you. I think you need to get the help you need and do it now or you are bound for relapse I hate to say it but trust me we wouldn't all be here if it was that easy.
I don't want to beat a dead horse, but after dealing with several family members and myself being full-blown addicts, it is my personal experience that this young lady is walking on thin ice. I'm not saying she can't do this. BUT - alot of her responses and ideas remind me of my brother when he was going thru rehab 7 times. So many comments of them handling things "on their own" just throw up huge red flags. The last time my bro left rehab he said " I am a raging alcoholic and drug addict - I can't do this on my own - I am powerless". He has now been clean almost two years.
Now this guy had EVERYTHING in the world to stay sober for - he has a wife, two kids and was an excellent Nuerologist. The last time cost him his career and almost his family.
I shared this story just to prove no matter what we stand to loose, our sobriety has to come from the most humble part of our being
I just pray these children do not pay a horrible price for their moms decisions.
Still here and STILL off the pills! Went to the doctor yesterday and baby's heartbeat is perfect, my blood pressure is perfect and I havnt had ANY physical withdrawals in 4 days, now its a mind game. So I am done, over it! Yall wait for the verdict because im not telling my doctor. Me and baby are just fine! This thread is in no way here to try to talk another mom in my situation into going off pills without doctors advice, BUT I knew my body and how ive felt and what I could do to taper down safely.