34th Hour.

[jandyrone]

Wow! This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I have been on prescription Vicodin for the better part of 5 years. It started when I ruptured my L5-S1 disk, and I have had 5 surgeries since then. I have realized several times during the past few years (aside from back pain) that my body is addicted to the meds, and decided to stop.

I figured the 1st couple of days would be the worst until last night and this morning. Yes yesterday I felt pretty bad… Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. My body can’t decide rather I’m hot or cold, stomach cramps and several visits to the rest room. My extremities feel like they are on pins and needles, and my head hurts bad!

Most folks here probably know where I am at right now. The big decision I need to make is rather to continue thru with this over the weekend? I have been off work the last few days, but have an interview for a promotion at work on Monday morning. I can’t feel like this come Monday. I can get a couple of weeks off work regardless, just not until after my interview.

What should I do?

[HappyDays2Come]

Wow amazing! I'm so happy for you and I pray that you get the job! You deserve it!!

[jandyrone]

7 days and 18 hours with no Vicodin. I am sleeping and eating again and feel pretty normal. Tomorrow I will start reducing my intake of Gabapentin. Even though not addictive, the body does develop dependency over time, and it has been "a long time"... If I don't have any effects from that it's time to begin the final step and get on the program to remove Valium from my diet.

Thank you everyone for being here with me, and even more thanks to you that have befriended in the process.

[HumbledXtian]

Have been away for a day or so and just read your recent post. As UnsureMS suggests, God has great things planned for you.

[UnsureMS]

Yes The Lord is with us. I am so happy for you. Keep up your fight to get clean, and prove to your family and yourself how strong you can be. But never be scared to call out for support. God has great things planned for you.

May god be with you,
Kimberly

[jandyrone]

Well, my adrenalin kicked in this morning and the interview went fantastic (in my opinion). I will know in the next couple of days if I will get the promotion. I am so pumped and excited! Going thru all of this with even more light possible at the end of the tunnel.

I thank you all for the support. The Lord is truly with all of us!

[jandyrone]

Thank you all!! I believe God is with me. Last night I actually slept well and don’t feel all that bad this morning. I’m getting my mental notes ready for the interview now so that it goes the best it possibly can.

I think the support here has really been and will remain a large factor. I wanted to stop everything at once, but I guess it’s not worth killing myself. I am off of 2 of 4 meds now, just the Valium and Gabapentin to go.

Particularly clean_in_ks, your last reaction yesterday really gave me that extra boost to get-er-done.

It is nice to know that there are good folks out there like all of you that care… as we all know, you are hard to find these days.

I well get back and let you all know how my interview went. There is some competition but I really want it. It will require relocation to where my wife and I have wanted to be for many years and eventually retire.

[UnsureMS]

Good luck with your interview. Glad to see you found help. Keep it up, and ask for help when needed. We will be here to encourage you and to lend advice where needed. May god be with you.

[HumbledXtian]

Jandy, you're doing great. There's no one-size-fits-all way to kick because everyone's psychology and physiology is different but it seems like you're on the right track.

Have you consulted an addiction specialist? Many on here have found it helpful to work with a professional.

Good luck with the interview!

[kyle505]

So do you still have meds or access to them? Didn't see that question referenced in any of your latest posts. Positive feed back and support are great, but moot, if you haven't tossed the pills. Otherwise it's a waste of time.

[Life360_Dave]

Your this far into it and should stick with it. As kyle said excuses will always come to avoid what your going through. You will start feeling better day by day but if you have them around you will take them. again as kyle said this is not a matter of will power but not having them around.

[Norco1947]

Way to think , Stay positive , I Like your fight
I just could not eat at first , Try Ensure i lived on it thru the first week . You must eat to heal & i found the milk choc. Ensure ice cold made my tummy feel better .
About day 7-8 i got hungry for the first time , my tummy felt weird thought i was haveing W/D again  . tummy Just wanted food .... Ron

[clean_in_ks]

Yeah.....yeah......yeah....!!!!!

I'm clapping for you.......from Kansas:):):)

Connie

[jandyrone]

I am going to stay off of the Vicodin and suck up for the interview... both need to happen!

[selfinduced]

Hey Jandy, Glad your body and mind has settled some. Clean_in_ks  has said it well. Good for you on calling a med hotline for direction. Half of what is hurting you is the anxiety of coming off these meds. Find a source (prefer Doc) you trust and stay with their advice. The numb, tingling , heart racing is all w/d and as much from opiates as it is from the benzo's. One thing at a time. Once you get a Doc on board , your mental will relax. Your going to be ok.....Our bodies go into a severe state of mayhem when we alter what it has been given for many months/years. It is resilient though, just go easy till tomorrow. This will take some work, but will pass in time. xx

[jandyrone]

I had no idea that Valium or Gabapentin were both addictive. I took some advice and called a nurse hotline type thing. They advised me to take the Valium and Gabapentin, then call 911 or go to the hospital if not feeling any better in 30min or so. I didn’t have to call back and am still off of the Vicodin!

Tomorrow off to see a Doctor to get myself on a monitored program and off of all this crap. For now I’m feeling better and really appreciate all of the help here.

[clean_in_ks]

BUT...as an additional thought to my post above...that does NOT mean you have to take your opiates ever again.
You can start with opiates......wean down the valium......and eventually get clean.
Getting rid of your sources for opiates and valium is CRITICAL!
The anti-inflammatory and gabapentin are not critical in the whole scheme of being addiction free at this moment.......IMO, of course.

But if you already have clean days off the opiates....do you?

START somewhere.......
If you are already clean from opiates.........STAY CLEAN FROM OPIATES!
It is a beginning.......and doesn't have to be a continuation or an ending.

We addicts tend to be people of EXTREMES and we set ourselves up for failure many times.

[Sessykel]

To be honest with you I have done the same before came off for 2 days then back on again and felt worse as it took days forum body to get used to if again please percervere I have reduced my intake this week and suffered horrendous withdrawals and now suffering side effects of my drug taking ie feeling light headed all day know I'm pot calling kettle black at the minute but carry on babe :-)

[clean_in_ks]

I too have been on gabapentin....it was originally made as an "anti-seizure" med and is used a lot for nerve damage and nerve pain.  I've even read some posts on here about people using it to sleep, lessen their w/drawals from opiates??? and more.
It totally affects the gaba receptors in your brain (electrical signals) so going off all of those meds together could definitely make you pass out.
I weaned off the gaba 44 days ago.....and have been clean 121 days now.
But I still have pins&needles, light head upon arising quickly and other physical issues I'm dealing with.  My personal take is.....it isn't safe to quit opiates, valium, gaba AND an antiinflammatory ALL together.
I have stopped all my RX's at this point, but am still feeling strange physical and brain things.....and I spread them out.  I would definitely talk to a doc about easing off the valium and gaba's.....don't think your brain is very happy and it's telling you so...
Rootin for you~~

[kyle505]

I've got to warn you...Many have compared pills to booze or tobacco - but it is different. I'm a boozer; stopped 27 years ago. Then 12 years in to my sobriety I found pills, and that was it for the next 15 years. I'm 9 months clean now. I've learned a lot, the hard way, over those 15 plus years, and one thing that is absolutely true - if you have pills around or available, you will relapse. Several people have come on to this forum, said basically the same thing you have, and they've either relapsed or have not been on this site since.
Your mind IS strong - it is controlling you, and you are buying in to the BS. This is a very dangerous point in detox. So, don't be foolish; get rid of the pills and/or cancel any refills/scripts now. This addiction cannot be controlled with willpower; it can't be controlled by inner strength; having pills available DOES NOT make your mind stronger.  You are heading down the road to relapse.
I write this because I want you to be successful. I see the lies your head is feeding you and it is upsetting to me.

[UnsureMS]

You are doing so good, but I would call a doctor to make sure your not doing more harm then good to your body. That is alot of stuff at once to go off, and as the above post said some meds need to be slowly let go of. I am praying for you stay strong, and don't give up.

Kimberly

[weaver71]

Diazapam needs to be tapered under a doctors care. If you are crashing, you could have a seizure. I would call the doctor.

[jandyrone]

Ok, I just totally crashed about an hour ago… My head went numb, started tingling (more than it has been), and suddenly I could feel my heart rate drop. I made it to my bed and passed out. We do have an electronic blood pressure and heart rate monitor that my wife just used and my heart rate and blood pressure are both high now.

I am wondering if it would be in order to seek medical attention or just continue to monitor my vitals over the next few hours?

In feeling the need to add more information, I have also been on Diazepam (Valium) as a muscle relaxer, and Gabapentin (Neurontin) as a nerve block, and Meloxicam as an anti-inflammatory. Wisely I decided to go cold turkey on all 4 at the same time, probably not a good idea?

[littlebit667]

Get some Imodium to stop the opiate trots!  It really works and will help with the dehydration.  Keep it up, you are doing great.