Aa
365 days later
Hi all...today is my big one year anniversary from a major roxy addiction. :)
Yes it was difficult, those first few weeks were the worst nightmare of my life, but as time moved forward(as it does ..if we like it or not) things got a little easier by the day. For those who read the posts, the physical withdrawals feel like you are at deaths door, but they pass, and honestly, as you will read on here..they are the easiest part. The mental aspect of this disease is another beast altogether. The mind games, cravings, the "just one"......these are MUCH harder than the dope sick. Be prepared. Get a network in place to lean on, relapse after 60 days is one of the easiest things in the world to do and going back down that rabbit hole? Well, my life is worth more than being high and *thinking* I feel good. I truly can't believe that it has already been a year...the way time seemed to stop for me back in January of '11 is mind boggling.
Just a few rambles, maybe give someone a little hope and courage to take that next step. I never thought I could of done this, the help from MedHelp back then is what kept me going on the path to sobriety...please do yourself the favor and find your way there also. Truly living life for the first time in over 25 years of addiction is not definable..I finally made it and hope everyone else that fights addiction gets there too.
A Fellow Addict - Gary
Yes it was difficult, those first few weeks were the worst nightmare of my life, but as time moved forward(as it does ..if we like it or not) things got a little easier by the day. For those who read the posts, the physical withdrawals feel like you are at deaths door, but they pass, and honestly, as you will read on here..they are the easiest part. The mental aspect of this disease is another beast altogether. The mind games, cravings, the "just one"......these are MUCH harder than the dope sick. Be prepared. Get a network in place to lean on, relapse after 60 days is one of the easiest things in the world to do and going back down that rabbit hole? Well, my life is worth more than being high and *thinking* I feel good. I truly can't believe that it has already been a year...the way time seemed to stop for me back in January of '11 is mind boggling.
Just a few rambles, maybe give someone a little hope and courage to take that next step. I never thought I could of done this, the help from MedHelp back then is what kept me going on the path to sobriety...please do yourself the favor and find your way there also. Truly living life for the first time in over 25 years of addiction is not definable..I finally made it and hope everyone else that fights addiction gets there too.
A Fellow Addict - Gary
Congrats on a year! Can't wait til I'm up there with you thanks for your story and inspiration.
congratulations on one year of sobriety.
that is awesome.
keep running the race.
continued blessings
debbie
that is awesome.
keep running the race.
continued blessings
debbie
Gary a big CONGRATS on 365 days that a huge milestone. I love hearing sucess stories such as yours. I know what you mean about all of the help and motivation you had from MH, I was honored to receive the same from all of these great people here and I am now 560 days clean off oxys. It sounds like you a get plan with your aftercare so just Keep on Keepin on. God Bless---Rick
A special thank you to you also, same as Sara...I know I stepped on both of your toes about a year ago..just a tad. ;) You both gave more motivation then you will ever realize...gave me a little something to feed on because I knew I was going to make it...thanks again.
kyle505 and susanzach - both of you stay the course. In hindisght, it will become the best ride of your lives...you just gotta take some of those monster ups and downs...but smooth sailing awaits. Good luck to both of you.
Gary
kyle505 and susanzach - both of you stay the course. In hindisght, it will become the best ride of your lives...you just gotta take some of those monster ups and downs...but smooth sailing awaits. Good luck to both of you.
Gary
Hi Gary,
Congrats!!! that 1st Year is so hard!!! i have been in recovery for 15 years with booze, but now I find myself at that juncture where i realize I like Pain Pills/Yes another addiction has popped up. . . and with that cam "popping pills". You are right about the Mind games. . . that gets me every time. i can get 30 or 60 days in and then my brain says you can handle it. . . and then it is back to the Roller coaster. i just called All my drug stores where I could get my prescriptions refilled and had them chart: No Narcotics, and that does feel somewhat empowering. Right now I am struggling with the guilt and shame thing. . .
thank You for the Post. it gave me true Hope!!
Congrats!!! that 1st Year is so hard!!! i have been in recovery for 15 years with booze, but now I find myself at that juncture where i realize I like Pain Pills/Yes another addiction has popped up. . . and with that cam "popping pills". You are right about the Mind games. . . that gets me every time. i can get 30 or 60 days in and then my brain says you can handle it. . . and then it is back to the Roller coaster. i just called All my drug stores where I could get my prescriptions refilled and had them chart: No Narcotics, and that does feel somewhat empowering. Right now I am struggling with the guilt and shame thing. . .
thank You for the Post. it gave me true Hope!!
HEY DUDE congrats on your yr clean .....God how time flys by im so happy for you keep doing what your doing its working for you as we go along we lean more about our addiction and how to fight it it takes work but the prize is worth it so cudos to you go out and celebrate I still eat a pound of shrimp every time I get 30 more days clean good luck and God bless......thanks for checking in with us in means a lot to me to see someone we have helped clean a yr later may God bless you and your family abundantly ......Gnarly
congrats...I'm in day four of a ct detox after almost a year of abusing norco 10s, and over 10 years of off and on pain med usage. Your words have been very helpful. Today is a little better, but still in hell. I've been posting on this site here and there; the bottom line for me is I see this hell as a blessing of sorts. An experience like nothing I've ever been through; I won't do this again...health wise I can't . Your year clean gives me hope. Thank you so much.
I am by no means qualified to give you a definitive answer, but I will give you my opinion. I have a feeling you are going to know the answer...no.
I married my highschool sweetheart..both of found our way to addiction. Predisposed, both of us. She smoked pot daily from 13 years old. I started at 15. We spent 17 foggy years together...the only common bond we had were drugs (we never had children, blessedly). We were pretty hard core partiers...nothing was off limits except for needles. Name it, I did it. To the absolute extreme. She was a hell of a party buddy and when she left me I was crushed. She did it to save herself, I have no fault with that, but it steered me to my opiate years and I pushed that envelope pretty hard for a few years..snorting 150-500 mgs of roxy a day.
In reflection, and many, many hours and days of self-analysis, I had to conclude I was a drug addict. Pot, coke, booze, benzos, ecstasy, LSD, shrooms...my reality had been warped since I was old enough to drive and score. I grew up privileged. Very privileged. The disease does not discriminate, the bigger the bank account, the better. I started my own business in high school (many moons ago) and make a damn good living...even after blowing untold hundreds of thousands of dollars on drugs and "party time".
Bottom line at 41.5 years of age? If your life with him revolves around drugs, you are doomed. I have a lovely woman now, I have to beg her to have a glass of red wine with me...lol. Your desires for drugs will never diminish...who you chose to surround yourself with that influences your life is a MAJOR aspect of getting clean and STAYING clean. I "scraped off" my entire world, moved and hibernated until I KNEW I was ok....sure I played around but the society of today is a pill-popping, drinking one and I have done my best to remove that from my life (I still like cold beer..ha ha).
Being FWBs is a whole nother concept..but a future? No, sorry, I wouldn't put my money on it.
I married my highschool sweetheart..both of found our way to addiction. Predisposed, both of us. She smoked pot daily from 13 years old. I started at 15. We spent 17 foggy years together...the only common bond we had were drugs (we never had children, blessedly). We were pretty hard core partiers...nothing was off limits except for needles. Name it, I did it. To the absolute extreme. She was a hell of a party buddy and when she left me I was crushed. She did it to save herself, I have no fault with that, but it steered me to my opiate years and I pushed that envelope pretty hard for a few years..snorting 150-500 mgs of roxy a day.
In reflection, and many, many hours and days of self-analysis, I had to conclude I was a drug addict. Pot, coke, booze, benzos, ecstasy, LSD, shrooms...my reality had been warped since I was old enough to drive and score. I grew up privileged. Very privileged. The disease does not discriminate, the bigger the bank account, the better. I started my own business in high school (many moons ago) and make a damn good living...even after blowing untold hundreds of thousands of dollars on drugs and "party time".
Bottom line at 41.5 years of age? If your life with him revolves around drugs, you are doomed. I have a lovely woman now, I have to beg her to have a glass of red wine with me...lol. Your desires for drugs will never diminish...who you chose to surround yourself with that influences your life is a MAJOR aspect of getting clean and STAYING clean. I "scraped off" my entire world, moved and hibernated until I KNEW I was ok....sure I played around but the society of today is a pill-popping, drinking one and I have done my best to remove that from my life (I still like cold beer..ha ha).
Being FWBs is a whole nother concept..but a future? No, sorry, I wouldn't put my money on it.
Hello,
I am so happy for your recovery...Its truly inspirational to us all..
I am new here, want to thank you so much for being so open about your situation. I would like ur advice if u dont mind...
I just started dating a 30 yr old man. Met last april told me he smoked pot daily.
One night, told me he took clonipin (sp) and blacked out for weekend and thats why he didnt call me.
I asked why, "well im a drug addict at heart" he then went on to tell me he was addicted to Heroine for yrs, in and out of rehab 10 times, been clean 5 yrs. goes to therapy weekly etc
having just come from his family's very wealthy, gorgeous house, successful family unit, I thot he was joking actually...
That was Sept,he goes to a therapist who prescribes suboxone.
From beginning, we agreed to be FWB;'s I have been dating others, he has too. December, I began to get serious about another, told him I was gonna move 5 hours away to be closer to the other guy, he got really sad, professed his love, wants us to be exclusive, and told me he was raped one time a s a child...(i previously told him I was really concerned about the pills, and that if something happened when he was a kid or something, he should talk about that etc).
He spent hours at my hours discussing why I shouldnt move to fast with the other guy (he was right) and why I should assess the situation. (I have been laid off 20 months, renting apt in city etc...wanted to move to country where cheaper and more my style)..
Since mid December, he calls or texts me every to every other day, (bout 3 times more connection w me than usual) . we spent 4 days together before and after xmas, brought his sister in from cali to his new apt to meet me...
We then spent 3 nights before and after new years at his apt again,,,He so supportive of me and my happiness, very giving etc...it feels like the most open and honest, loving relationship ive ever had, no secrets...I prefer that we agreed to be FWB atthe beginning and not lie about others than my usual "jumping all in and the guy cheats and lies about it w deceit and hiding etc"
Heres my question:
He is a seasonal worker, winters he only plows snow...too much down time i think...like me being laid off too...
Can a recovering Heroine addict (5 yrs clean) , who stills likes xanax and takes them a few at a time to zone out, is on suboxone and zoloft, smoke pot daily, be a good partner potential if all else is good with us? Do you feel for me, who has only smoked pot three times in life and hated it, doesnt really drink, he doesnt at all, that this mans history is good for me?
I feel if hes been clean of heroine 5 yrs, then he is good to go...but I dont know
I am so happy for your recovery...Its truly inspirational to us all..
I am new here, want to thank you so much for being so open about your situation. I would like ur advice if u dont mind...
I just started dating a 30 yr old man. Met last april told me he smoked pot daily.
One night, told me he took clonipin (sp) and blacked out for weekend and thats why he didnt call me.
I asked why, "well im a drug addict at heart" he then went on to tell me he was addicted to Heroine for yrs, in and out of rehab 10 times, been clean 5 yrs. goes to therapy weekly etc
having just come from his family's very wealthy, gorgeous house, successful family unit, I thot he was joking actually...
That was Sept,he goes to a therapist who prescribes suboxone.
From beginning, we agreed to be FWB;'s I have been dating others, he has too. December, I began to get serious about another, told him I was gonna move 5 hours away to be closer to the other guy, he got really sad, professed his love, wants us to be exclusive, and told me he was raped one time a s a child...(i previously told him I was really concerned about the pills, and that if something happened when he was a kid or something, he should talk about that etc).
He spent hours at my hours discussing why I shouldnt move to fast with the other guy (he was right) and why I should assess the situation. (I have been laid off 20 months, renting apt in city etc...wanted to move to country where cheaper and more my style)..
Since mid December, he calls or texts me every to every other day, (bout 3 times more connection w me than usual) . we spent 4 days together before and after xmas, brought his sister in from cali to his new apt to meet me...
We then spent 3 nights before and after new years at his apt again,,,He so supportive of me and my happiness, very giving etc...it feels like the most open and honest, loving relationship ive ever had, no secrets...I prefer that we agreed to be FWB atthe beginning and not lie about others than my usual "jumping all in and the guy cheats and lies about it w deceit and hiding etc"
Heres my question:
He is a seasonal worker, winters he only plows snow...too much down time i think...like me being laid off too...
Can a recovering Heroine addict (5 yrs clean) , who stills likes xanax and takes them a few at a time to zone out, is on suboxone and zoloft, smoke pot daily, be a good partner potential if all else is good with us? Do you feel for me, who has only smoked pot three times in life and hated it, doesnt really drink, he doesnt at all, that this mans history is good for me?
I feel if hes been clean of heroine 5 yrs, then he is good to go...but I dont know
Congratulations and thank you so much for posting your inspirational story...Awesome...Lu
Thank you for posting I am where I am and if I keep fighting I will get to where you are. It helped me to read that you were in hell for weeks, I'm at day 21 and really feel like crap. But I know that an oxy won't fix me time God and meetings and I may have a shot. Thanks again for sharing where you're at.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Congrats on your clean time!! You sound really good. Keep it going~~sara
Thats awesome Gary. I too love the success stories like this, makes me emotional. I hope everyone wanting it, gets it like you have. Thx for posting this...continued success Gary...
Hi Gary,
Congrats, huge milestone, roxy is BRUTAL, same as my addiction. Good luck, you're right about everything you said.
Congrats, huge milestone, roxy is BRUTAL, same as my addiction. Good luck, you're right about everything you said.
CONGRATS......awesome and thank u for posting...I simply LOVE these post....best wishes my friend...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so happy for you and thank you for posting and giving us all hope. I hope you continue down the path of recovery. It is so worth it!!!
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