Aa
365 days later
Well, this is a day that when I started this journey, I never thought I would see. I came to this incredible forum one year ago. I was a mess! Those of you that remember me will attest to that. I was terrified to continue using and just as terrified to try and quit ct. My wonderful wife actually found this site for me after I came clean with her and told her of my abuse. Like many others, it all started with legit pain and legit scripts. That lasted about five years. Then it became "clear" to me (LOL) that I needed more and more. I laugh because NOW I can look back and realize that "clear" was the silliest way possible to describe me! So I began buying extras to get me thru the month. When I finally reached MY bottom, I was eating hydros and roxys like m&m's...With the help of my amazing wife and daughter, and my extended family here at MH, I am celebrating my one year anniversary! It's hard to believe.....but truly wonderful!
I have a very "security complicated" job that requires me to be away from home, and the U.S.A. for long periods of time. I rarely have access to a computer that I may use for personal use, so I actually missed the anniversary date by a few days. BUT, I view this site nearly every day! It is so much a part of my after-care program! I used to think that the "old-timers" here at MH (no insult intended...lol) were WAY OVERBOARD with their preaching of after-care. I would think,"well,they don't know ME very well...all I have to do is quit!" And I see it all the time from other posters when they get the tough love messages from people that really KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. They don't want to hear that your sobriety actually requires time and effort AFTER you go thru the detox.
Well, that's one of the reasons I am posting today. I want people to know that all of THIS, day one, day three, day twelve, will all be repeated again without a good plan for what you will do after you are clean. That is a FACT! So don't get annoyed when someone says to you "what are your plans for after-care?" Just like the Thomas recipe, it is a much needed step in remaining clean....
Ok, no more preaching....LOL
If I hadn't lost you by now, I want to tell you the good news...
There is LIFE after drugs/pills! I didn't sleep for the first six days, then got four hours, then didn't sleep till day twelve.
I struggled with energy for what seemed like forever, using energy drinks at work, and like they say, fake it till ya make it!
I wondered if I would ever be SUPER DAD and husband ever again. Your mind truly likes to ef with you, trying to give you reasons to use again. Like my friend Sara and Gnarly always told me, BE ON YOUR GUARD! I have had some "tests" over the past year. Relatives dying, old "friends" trying to give me pills, and pain....
I have noticed that the amount of "pain" I was experiencing before I quit using has drastically been reduced. Like so many others, the pills were manifesting pain in my head. Now I get by with an Advil on a rare occasion.
I cannot say I now have the energy I used to get with pills.... but that's not reality! The truth is I get tired, and sore and actually feel it now! I actually feel life! Crazy huh? But it is so worth it. Forget the amazing health benefits that come along with quitting..( I am no longer on blood press. med., or viagra....lol) You aren't in that "yellow fog" anymore! Your thoughts and actions and decisions aren't based on how many pills you took in the past hour. You become you again! Sound weird? It took me about four months for me to remember who I really was, what I liked to do, and what really mattered to me. My relationship with my wife and daughter has never been stronger, and I thank God every day for this.
As for MH, I will be forever grateful to this site, and to the selfless people here who take the time every day to give encouragement and advice to people like me, God Bless You All!
Glen
I have a very "security complicated" job that requires me to be away from home, and the U.S.A. for long periods of time. I rarely have access to a computer that I may use for personal use, so I actually missed the anniversary date by a few days. BUT, I view this site nearly every day! It is so much a part of my after-care program! I used to think that the "old-timers" here at MH (no insult intended...lol) were WAY OVERBOARD with their preaching of after-care. I would think,"well,they don't know ME very well...all I have to do is quit!" And I see it all the time from other posters when they get the tough love messages from people that really KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. They don't want to hear that your sobriety actually requires time and effort AFTER you go thru the detox.
Well, that's one of the reasons I am posting today. I want people to know that all of THIS, day one, day three, day twelve, will all be repeated again without a good plan for what you will do after you are clean. That is a FACT! So don't get annoyed when someone says to you "what are your plans for after-care?" Just like the Thomas recipe, it is a much needed step in remaining clean....
Ok, no more preaching....LOL
If I hadn't lost you by now, I want to tell you the good news...
There is LIFE after drugs/pills! I didn't sleep for the first six days, then got four hours, then didn't sleep till day twelve.
I struggled with energy for what seemed like forever, using energy drinks at work, and like they say, fake it till ya make it!
I wondered if I would ever be SUPER DAD and husband ever again. Your mind truly likes to ef with you, trying to give you reasons to use again. Like my friend Sara and Gnarly always told me, BE ON YOUR GUARD! I have had some "tests" over the past year. Relatives dying, old "friends" trying to give me pills, and pain....
I have noticed that the amount of "pain" I was experiencing before I quit using has drastically been reduced. Like so many others, the pills were manifesting pain in my head. Now I get by with an Advil on a rare occasion.
I cannot say I now have the energy I used to get with pills.... but that's not reality! The truth is I get tired, and sore and actually feel it now! I actually feel life! Crazy huh? But it is so worth it. Forget the amazing health benefits that come along with quitting..( I am no longer on blood press. med., or viagra....lol) You aren't in that "yellow fog" anymore! Your thoughts and actions and decisions aren't based on how many pills you took in the past hour. You become you again! Sound weird? It took me about four months for me to remember who I really was, what I liked to do, and what really mattered to me. My relationship with my wife and daughter has never been stronger, and I thank God every day for this.
As for MH, I will be forever grateful to this site, and to the selfless people here who take the time every day to give encouragement and advice to people like me, God Bless You All!
Glen
Congratulations on your clean time. One whole year. Pat yourself on the back and celebrate....awesome!!!
Wow, fantastic post.
Thanks so much for checking back, major inspiration for all.
You are exactly where I hope to be and very similar stories. Congratulations and keep it going.
Bones
Thanks so much for checking back, major inspiration for all.
You are exactly where I hope to be and very similar stories. Congratulations and keep it going.
Bones
Great post I like reading story of someone with that much clean time gives me somthing to look to thank u
Great post! I am not nearly where you are, but feel better and better everyday! You are right it is a great feeling. Congrats on your year anniversary!
Wow! Yaay......congrats to YOU!!!!! I totally remember when you came. I guess that makes me old around here, huh? You have past a major milestone now! Way to go! I totally knew you could do it!
hey palm beach,
i am so happy for you and so very proud of you my friend.
wow, how awesome!!!! i knew you would make it.
amidst all your ranting and raving, nonsensical jargon,your absolute craziness,there was a determination and a resolve that you were going to get clean.
well that day has come that you too can celebrate one year clean.
i waited for this day to come and then i missed posting it.
you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
its saturday, enjoy a cigar and a coffee on me.
sending many hugs and love to you,
continue to walk in your recovery, one day at a time.
your jersey girl,
debbie
i am so happy for you and so very proud of you my friend.
wow, how awesome!!!! i knew you would make it.
amidst all your ranting and raving, nonsensical jargon,your absolute craziness,there was a determination and a resolve that you were going to get clean.
well that day has come that you too can celebrate one year clean.
i waited for this day to come and then i missed posting it.
you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
its saturday, enjoy a cigar and a coffee on me.
sending many hugs and love to you,
continue to walk in your recovery, one day at a time.
your jersey girl,
debbie
Hello neighbor, Excellent !!!! So very excited for your progress in staying the course. Never had a doubt. Have missed your witty and inspiring post, You treat yourself to something really wonderful today. Stay in touch...xo
COMMUNITY LEADER
You did all the hard work here, we just "prodded" you a bit!! You were also lucky to have a great wife who supports you. That is a huge plus for us. Are you 2 doing anything special tonight?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Holy crap have you changed!!!! lol You were so sick and scared when you came here and look at you now!!! Amazing~~~
What a great day this is~~
What a great day this is~~
Sarah,
What are you trying to say? ME, Stubborn? I have no idea what you are referring to....LOL
I owe my life to you and Gnarly and cleanitup and atthebeach and essipity and so many others. It is something I will never forget and will try and pay it forward for the rest of my life. To this day I come to this site and search for your responses to those in need of help and apply it to my own life. You give me courage as I continue to treat my addiction. I Love You,
Glen
What are you trying to say? ME, Stubborn? I have no idea what you are referring to....LOL
I owe my life to you and Gnarly and cleanitup and atthebeach and essipity and so many others. It is something I will never forget and will try and pay it forward for the rest of my life. To this day I come to this site and search for your responses to those in need of help and apply it to my own life. You give me courage as I continue to treat my addiction. I Love You,
Glen
Trust me when I tell you that if I can do it, anyone can. All I can tell people is to stay in the moment. Don't think about that job next week, that test tomorrow, or how will I clean the house and take care of the babies today. DON'T USE RIGHT NOW! That's all you can promise, that's all you can control. Soon, minutes become hours, and days become weeks and months.
You can do this!
You can do this!
COMMUNITY LEADER
WOW!! I am so incredibly proud of you!! One year clean and you are finally LIVING!!! Oh you were so stubborn and thought some of us were nuts for awhile!! I knew you could do this. That is why we stayed on you like we did. This journey is never easy but the rewards far outweigh the bad. I am so happy you came back on. You made my day~~
Hold that clean time sacred my friend, your life depends on it. Do whatever it takes to stay in your recovery and always remember.........GUARD UP!! sara
Hold that clean time sacred my friend, your life depends on it. Do whatever it takes to stay in your recovery and always remember.........GUARD UP!! sara
WOW What a GREAT post !!! Congrats on your year, it is so nice to hear how things can and will get better if we just give it time and don't pick up that first pill. Thanks for the message Made my day
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