Maybe ask your doc if you can go in for a sleep study?? Maybe you are having some form of sleep apnea or something sleep related?? Its worth a shot right??
You are gonna have to start really putting your foot down with your wife.. Her addiction has taken away any and all respect for you she may have had. It seems to me that you are just her pill supplier now not her husband. I don't understand how you could have a decent relationship with her at this point. Have you thought of disappearing next time she is out of pills. Taking the kids on a mini vacation or something. Have you talked to the doc yet about her pill use?? Its to the point now that I would go that route, she is self destructing and fast.
Do you and your wife talk about it? I mean does she know that you know?
I was also taking my husband's pills - for a long time - but he never knew until I told him. I had to be one of the hardest things to do! (not taking pills has to be the second) I really though that he was going to freak -- but he didn't -- and we worked it out together.
He just refilled a rx for more pills.. his pain patch started making him sick,, and (we both) decided that it would be best if he locks them up. I mean I'm NOT planning on taking them.... But I wasn't planning on taking them to begin with! And since they HAVE to be here... It's just best to keep them locked away.
Does she know that you lock them up to keep them away from her. Or is she pretending that it's just for the kids safety or something?
Did you say a few days ago that she was getting prescriptions form a doctor?
Thanks for your comments,I have life long pain,and my DR.says I'll need pain meds for the rest of my life,but I take them as prescribed and don't have a problem doing it.As far as kicking my wife out for a few days,she has no place to go,all her family lives out of state,and I don't think the kids would handle it very well,and they've been through enough.I do lock them up I just slipped up that day.
I'm really sorry to hear about your missing pills..... this is something I know WAY too much about! To support my habit before finally quitting (8 weeks ago) I was stealing Tylenol-4 and Vicodin from my wife (she has fibermyalgia and Osteo-Arthritis and genuinely needs them to handle the pain). Of course, she kept a notepad with EVERY pill she took on it, but I didn't care, I'd swipe them anyway.
She FINALLY got sick of me stealing all her stuff (at a rate of 10-15 pills/day). When she ran out of meds (bottles of 180 tabs) after a week or 2, and she was genuinely in pain with nothing to take, I felt like a real dog... After being "busted" 3 or 4 times, she FINALLY had the presence of mind to kick my tail out of the house and I stayed with my Mom for a week while I thought about what I had done and how my life was totally out of control. It finally sunk in and I got straightened out.
Don't give up on your wife. I couldn't stop my addiction and stealing pills was the only way to get them; I have a feeling it's the same in your situation. As a temporary stop-gap, you can do what my wife still does: she keeps all her meds in a closet with a padlock on the door and I have NO problem with that. Out of sight=out of mind. Explain to your wife why you feel the need to do this and CONSTANTLY tell her that you love her and support her. She needs to understand (just like I did) that this behavior causes a loss of trust between you and it has to end. When she admits that she has a problem, the healing can begin. Talk to a drug abuse counsellor together and listen to what they say. I don't know if kicking her out of the house for a few days to "dry out" is a viable option for you, but it did give me an eye opener and I realized that she did it to HELP me not PUNISH me. Good luck and keep working your own progress towards kicking your habit.
The naps are only once in awhile when I can sneak one in,and yeah I do math problems,when I finally do fall asleep I wake up evrey 20 mins or so.My therapist thinks because no one was around to save me from my abuse as a kid,that I feel vulnerable at night when everyone is sleeping,that if I stop breathing or something,no one will be there to save me.I don't know kind of makes sense.It's funny when this first started I went to the ER a few times thinking something was wrong with me,as soon as I got to an exam room I was fine.
I know you're trying to get in whatever sleep you can, but try not to nap maybe you'll be able to fall asleep faster?
I have to sleep with a fan on just to drown out the noise, it helps me so my mind doesn't race so much and when it does I count or same my abc's i know weird, but try it...Hope you're sleeping
Call a Pharmacist and tell him everything your taking and see if it is possible adverse drug interaction is going on with all your meds, as it could be causing your panic.
I feel for you because anxiety was the first, and last symptom of my withdrawal. Ever since I quit, I feel like I've had a shot of adrenaline coursing through my veins at all times, escalating in the evenings into full-blown insomnia. I was on Ativan for 3 weeks, until someone here suggested I try tapering off it. I substituted clonidine, and the anxiety actually got worse for a few days ( I thought, oh ****, now I'm having benzo w/ds. I was taking Valerian, Melatonin, Passionflower, tryptophan, benedryl (not all at once!) -- I was throwing everything at this dreaded anxiety/insomnia. But last night, a funny thing happened. I bought some 5-HTP-- a nutritional supplement suggested by someone on this forum. I took one before bed. For the first time I fell asleep right away. I slept 5 solid hours (a record for me) and, even though I awoke at 3a.m. with insomnia, FOR THE FIRST TIME-- my pulse wasn't racing. Today, I've made it through the whole day on 1/2 of a .1 mg clonidine, taken at 7 a.m. Now, I don't know if it was the 5-HTP, or if I just turned a corner on this thing, but I ain't gonna stop taking it to find out. If it works again tonight, then I'm a believer. Hope this helps you- I feel your pain and frustration.
Warmly,
Lisa