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5 days sober
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5 days sober

I've made it this far and yet when I think its going to get better, my symptoms get worse! I'm taking an array of vitamins (c, phosphorus, Valerian root, calcium) eating bananas, taking looong long hot showers, taking otc pain relievers, and so far have smoked a half of nug in the last week!! its all temporary and long enough for me to sleep for a couple of hours but then i still wake up and it feels like im already having a panic attack. the anxiety is what is killing me to most. I'm in a pretty fortunate situation with a very supportive bf who has helped me through the last year of my roller coaster lifestyle with pills. I had been taking the "yellows" a year and half before i even met him but right after we started dating it had become a noticable addiction. long story short, i had lost 2 people close to me within a week and freaked out and was taking up to 20 pills a day just to numb the pain. I just want to know how to control these urges because i can not go back to that life. i working on 6 days and have never been so proud but i still am scared.
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1416133_tn?1351126817
I think its really important to keep your expectations really really low right now.  I found that if I didn't expect anything of myself in those early days that it somehow helped and I think it also kept my cravings in check.  I think its the pressure we put on ourselves that makes this all such a struggle.  But probably necessary so that we can experience all of this fully to know you will never want to go through this again.  It may not feel positive right now, in fact, I know it doesn't.  But it will someday, soon, and you will never forget how hard you worked to get clean.  And you get to keep that pride from your accomplishment forever!!

You are doing the right thing and a brave thing.  If it's not scary then it can't be brave, right?  Just let your bf be there for you now.  It's so great that you have him and can lean on him when you need to.  It's obvious he loves you and he'll wait for you.  Don't try to rush into feeling better.  It will happen when you least expect it.

Congrats for making the right decision!  :-)  Keep posting as I found that helped just as much too.
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1525404_tn?1291918116
After several days of misery there is nothing that feels as good as that moment you realize that you're feeling better. For me it's when I can sit in my recliner and notice that I'm sitting comfortably and my legs aren't jerking around and hurting.
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1494729_tn?1304884680
as you should be proud of yourself 6 days after a 20 a day habit wow that's amazing i to was a friend of the yellows, were talking about the 10's (vicodin) right ,never did 20 a day myself maybe that many between a couple of friends (we snorted them) but that's  great you are getting yourself clean i actually stumbled upon this site 37 days ago and now that's how long i been clean ,the people here are amazing and make you want to be clean cause they know what a better life you can and WILL HAVE when your no longer a slave to the evil little devil pills ,well if your at day 6 the worst should be over the physical part of coarse but then again you did 20 a day so maybe that's why it's taking a little longer but i wouldn't think the w/d's would last munch longer you should start felling better real soon and i know you will start loving your new life i was so tired of worried about the next pills and the phone calls and everything that goes along with the pill head lifestyle i really was so i wish you the best and congrats on 6 days keep up the great progress and always remember ONE DAY AT A TIME ,,words to live by...god bless.jeff..
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Avatar_m_tn
L-Tyrosine & 5HTP might help you with your anxiety. You can get them at any health food store but not at a pharmacy. You should start feeling better any day now. Have you tried Melatonin in addition to the Valerian Root for sleep?
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Avatar_m_tn
HI congrats on day 5....as for the physical symptoms they should be over in a few days its different for everyone....as for the mental mindscrew the depression cravings and urges
the only thing I know that helps is aftercare....right now a N/A meeting would be great for you
you will be able to here other people struggling and what there doing to cope with it as well as have some where safe to shair your own feelings....getting clean is the ez part it staying that way that takes the work give the meetings a try you wont regret it if your not comfortable with that try a substance abuse conslor or and addiction therapist these will also work although I feel the meetings are better you will meet clean and sober people there and interact with them you wont feel so all alone in this...I wish you all the best in your recovery now google N/a meeting in your area and do something pro/active in your recovery good luck and God bless.....Gnarly
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1187379_tn?1292081657
thanks for all the responses! i am feeling better today. though it is only a small percentage it is at least noticeable. the only thing im frustrated with at the moment is not being able to move from my bed or even from my apartment! what can i do to regenerate my energy levels?
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Avatar_n_tn
What helped me was when I read someone turned their fear into anger. I quit my taper after reading it(tramadol and codeine), went ct. Im on day 14 today feeling good, actually going out for a drink with some friends now.
Anger did it for me.
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1187379_tn?1292081657
yay day 7! i went for a walk yesterday with my two dogs and it was so beautiful out. the breeze felt more crisp and tickled the hairs on my neck as i passed through various lawns with sprinklers on high blast. it was wonderful to feel real again, not to be bogged down by vicodin and xanax. I feel more alive than ever! ive been drinking a lot of coffee which isnt helping with the diarrhea but it helps to pep me up. The RLS has faded and i was able to sleep for 5 hrs straight so i think im going to be ok. my bf wants to take me to a NA meeting this week so i can set up goals and be able to physically talk to someone that is going through the same situation. i need to make new friends and move forward in life. all my 'friends' right now are doing the same thing we were doing 10 years ago and a handful actually recently went to rehab and are back doing the same old ****. im just over all of that and need to move on. im tired of being tired and dont want to be depressed anymore. Thats how i saw us: sitting together, but so alone because we have to lose ourselves in drugs. i am so ready to find out who i am.
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