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6 things that will lead you to relapse...
Here's a list of 6 things I came up with that I know may people have relapsed over..
1. Keeping secrets…Trying to keep your addiction under wraps will only allow you to hold on to things that will rationalize your using. I think everyone I know with significant clean time has tried keeping their using a secret and tried to stop on their own. However, the disease of addiction is a powerful thing. You simply can’t do it without support. Keeping your problems a secret will only eventually lead to relapse.
2. Not using aftercare...Here’s the real secret of how to gain long term recovery-It has absolutely nothing to do with the drugs of alcohol. They are only a side effect of the disease. The true problem is the way we think and rationalize our actions. It’s all centered in our brains, not our drugs. Aftercare of some sort gives us a new way of living, choosing to deal with every day’s problems…not numbing them out.
3. Not changing your playgrounds, playmates, and playtoys…I’m sorry, but you will not stay clean if you continue doing things that remind you of your using. This includes hanging around bars, visiting places where you used, hanging around people you used with, or frequenting doctors who supplied you without telling them about your addiction. You must essentially change your behaviors to gain recovery.
4. Relying on willpower…Willpower is the absolute worst thing you can rely on. White knuckling it through recovery doesn’t work. Your disease will ultimately talk you into using again. This is where recovery and aftercare helps the most. Take it from someone who know…white knuckle sobriety isn’t fun.
5. Trying to control your using…This was my favorite. I had legit pain and wanted to just control my using. If you’re a typical addict, it just doesn’t work that way. I’ve had to find new ways of dealing with the pain. I’ll also say this, you will not succeed in this fight if you have a bottle of pills in the house “just in case” the pain gets too bad. Your disease will ultimately talk you into draining the bottle.
6. Changing your drug of choice….This happens more than you know. People get off oxycodone or hydrocodone only to get hooked on tramadol. They quit painkillers only to keep the occasional drink in their life. They give up the opiates but take ambient or benzos for sleep or anxiety. If you are an addict and you take any addictive substance for any length of time and you will either become addicted to it…or it will lead you back to your drug of choice.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned. I’d love to hear from people about what caused them to relapse…or if you have any stories that relate to some things I’ve listed…
1. Keeping secrets…Trying to keep your addiction under wraps will only allow you to hold on to things that will rationalize your using. I think everyone I know with significant clean time has tried keeping their using a secret and tried to stop on their own. However, the disease of addiction is a powerful thing. You simply can’t do it without support. Keeping your problems a secret will only eventually lead to relapse.
2. Not using aftercare...Here’s the real secret of how to gain long term recovery-It has absolutely nothing to do with the drugs of alcohol. They are only a side effect of the disease. The true problem is the way we think and rationalize our actions. It’s all centered in our brains, not our drugs. Aftercare of some sort gives us a new way of living, choosing to deal with every day’s problems…not numbing them out.
3. Not changing your playgrounds, playmates, and playtoys…I’m sorry, but you will not stay clean if you continue doing things that remind you of your using. This includes hanging around bars, visiting places where you used, hanging around people you used with, or frequenting doctors who supplied you without telling them about your addiction. You must essentially change your behaviors to gain recovery.
4. Relying on willpower…Willpower is the absolute worst thing you can rely on. White knuckling it through recovery doesn’t work. Your disease will ultimately talk you into using again. This is where recovery and aftercare helps the most. Take it from someone who know…white knuckle sobriety isn’t fun.
5. Trying to control your using…This was my favorite. I had legit pain and wanted to just control my using. If you’re a typical addict, it just doesn’t work that way. I’ve had to find new ways of dealing with the pain. I’ll also say this, you will not succeed in this fight if you have a bottle of pills in the house “just in case” the pain gets too bad. Your disease will ultimately talk you into draining the bottle.
6. Changing your drug of choice….This happens more than you know. People get off oxycodone or hydrocodone only to get hooked on tramadol. They quit painkillers only to keep the occasional drink in their life. They give up the opiates but take ambient or benzos for sleep or anxiety. If you are an addict and you take any addictive substance for any length of time and you will either become addicted to it…or it will lead you back to your drug of choice.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned. I’d love to hear from people about what caused them to relapse…or if you have any stories that relate to some things I’ve listed…
WOW, can I ever relate to your story. I have been using my addiction as a crutch for years now, doing what I love. I used almost everyday, not to go out drinking and partying, like I used to. But instead to push through the mountain of work I had to get done at home. Just to give me the energy and motivation to get out of bed to work. I make jewelry, and metal sculpture. It takes a lot of focus, and energy. And orders are orders that have to get out. I have so many other random health issues that make me tired in general. And it really is hard to get out of bed and get going. I also had a bout with Eptstein Barr and developed mono before I ever did coke, and as a result I am always still tired. Even though the infection is gone, I have one very swollen lymph node that will never go down. I have a low grade fever every day of my life, and my body is always constantly fighting what's left of this infection from 16 years ago.
And the coke, for me, was my medicine. I used in while doing the same exact daily activities that I do now, sober. I have no choice. This is my livelyhood. And I really do love making art! It keeps me sane! When I was diagnosed and treated for eating disorders, I was told during therapy that this is one of the hardest diseases to get through. Because it's not like alcohol where you can avoid it every day to get better. You HAVE to eat! You MUST have a relationship with food, there is no avoiding it.
It's similar with our situations, I think, where we used our drug of choice as a crutch to do what we have to do everyday anyways! There's no getting away from a reminder of cocaine for me, because every single day from the time I have to crawl out of bed is a reminder. I feel tired everyday, which is a reminder. Because now I don't have my crutch anymore to fix that feeling. Just like your daily activities, and especially the ones you can't avoid are also a daily reminder. And the pain you suffer from, as well as the weakness and lethargy I suffer from, are always there to remind us. It stinks! It's FREAKING HARD!!! Stay strong! You are NOT ALONE!!! We can all do this!!!
And the coke, for me, was my medicine. I used in while doing the same exact daily activities that I do now, sober. I have no choice. This is my livelyhood. And I really do love making art! It keeps me sane! When I was diagnosed and treated for eating disorders, I was told during therapy that this is one of the hardest diseases to get through. Because it's not like alcohol where you can avoid it every day to get better. You HAVE to eat! You MUST have a relationship with food, there is no avoiding it.
It's similar with our situations, I think, where we used our drug of choice as a crutch to do what we have to do everyday anyways! There's no getting away from a reminder of cocaine for me, because every single day from the time I have to crawl out of bed is a reminder. I feel tired everyday, which is a reminder. Because now I don't have my crutch anymore to fix that feeling. Just like your daily activities, and especially the ones you can't avoid are also a daily reminder. And the pain you suffer from, as well as the weakness and lethargy I suffer from, are always there to remind us. It stinks! It's FREAKING HARD!!! Stay strong! You are NOT ALONE!!! We can all do this!!!
I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I too, feel on some level that this is not the same as someone who has, let's say, an uncontrollable disease such as cancer, diabetes, etc...The very guilt from my feeling that this is a selfish disease that I brought upon myself has probably helped me relapse more than once. But the folks who posted after you, especially what Laurel said about smoking being the cause of lung cancer, or eating crappy your whole life being the reason you're dying of diabetes. That is all true as well.
I guess certain people are more susceptible to certain illnesses, be it diabetes, cancer, or even addiction. If you eat like crap but don't have a predisposition to diabetes, you may by dumb luck be able to avoid it your whole life. Or if you know cancer is prevelant in your family medical history, you should try especially hard to avoid smoking. Just like, if you know there to be problems with our disease, addiction, we have to strive harder to avoid any substances that can lead us straight into the destructive path.
I knew full well my mother had a WILDLY addictive personality and that was just from smoking, drinking, and her relationship with food. And she is bipolar (which I also am). If I knew then what I know now, maybe I would have had the strength to have stayed away...or maybe not. It's very easy to fall into the behavior patterns you grew up with, that were essentially beat into you from the day you were born. I don't blame anyone but myself, don't get me wrong, but we can't give up on ourselves because we don't feel worthy.
And I really believe the one thing all of us have in common is the predisposition to being addicts, no matter whether it was due to the environment we grew up in, or if it's a genetic flaw within us, or both. This IS a disease.
I guess certain people are more susceptible to certain illnesses, be it diabetes, cancer, or even addiction. If you eat like crap but don't have a predisposition to diabetes, you may by dumb luck be able to avoid it your whole life. Or if you know cancer is prevelant in your family medical history, you should try especially hard to avoid smoking. Just like, if you know there to be problems with our disease, addiction, we have to strive harder to avoid any substances that can lead us straight into the destructive path.
I knew full well my mother had a WILDLY addictive personality and that was just from smoking, drinking, and her relationship with food. And she is bipolar (which I also am). If I knew then what I know now, maybe I would have had the strength to have stayed away...or maybe not. It's very easy to fall into the behavior patterns you grew up with, that were essentially beat into you from the day you were born. I don't blame anyone but myself, don't get me wrong, but we can't give up on ourselves because we don't feel worthy.
And I really believe the one thing all of us have in common is the predisposition to being addicts, no matter whether it was due to the environment we grew up in, or if it's a genetic flaw within us, or both. This IS a disease.
:) you are welcome.......and i bet you would seek treatment for any illness/disease however you got it ? self inflicted or not ?
detox and recovery with aftercare are our best bets here, following some directions and never letting our guard down is the way to change the outcome, kiki. As we talked yesterday, there is nothing more important than our life itself... and you can do it, trust yourself.
detox and recovery with aftercare are our best bets here, following some directions and never letting our guard down is the way to change the outcome, kiki. As we talked yesterday, there is nothing more important than our life itself... and you can do it, trust yourself.
Laurel, fantastic analogy with lung cancer and smoking...another of my horrible vices! Excellent point. Again, I am here to learn and that is a plainly obvious point that makes incredible sense to me. Thank you.
And to you, DAV, I am so sorry to hear of all of the misfortune you have had to bear witness to. I truly feel for you. I am sorry if you misunderstood me. I was never trying to lay blame on sadness in my life as the cause of this. This all started because I like having a party going on in my head and I know it. The party has long been over, trust me. I was trying to say that THAT was what disease was to me. But Laurel has turned that thinking right around.
And to you, DAV, I am so sorry to hear of all of the misfortune you have had to bear witness to. I truly feel for you. I am sorry if you misunderstood me. I was never trying to lay blame on sadness in my life as the cause of this. This all started because I like having a party going on in my head and I know it. The party has long been over, trust me. I was trying to say that THAT was what disease was to me. But Laurel has turned that thinking right around.
"Disease" a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms :
......according to Websters dictionary
We have a disease that can be arrested by not using, some people are not addicts some people are, funny thing is real addicts have a way of telling themselves (well maybe I'm not and try it again some know to let the voice know the truth,I am what I am . Maybe it all comes down to "What ever gets you through the night?" John Lennon Peace/Love
PS Thank you Ga Guy
......according to Websters dictionary
We have a disease that can be arrested by not using, some people are not addicts some people are, funny thing is real addicts have a way of telling themselves (well maybe I'm not and try it again some know to let the voice know the truth,I am what I am . Maybe it all comes down to "What ever gets you through the night?" John Lennon Peace/Love
PS Thank you Ga Guy
hey, no offence at all :)
it is not that some people would not like or would disagree with what you are saying. It just puzzles me the way you look at it. I'm not sure if you think that as it is self inflicted the consecuences are not as important or it is "less real disease " because of it ? or what is your point when saying it is self inflicted ...as if it were less real.
many diabetes are from a lack of care and bad diet through the years, lung cancer could come from smoking, is it less real ? i don't see what you are meaning, sorry :)
it is not that some people would not like or would disagree with what you are saying. It just puzzles me the way you look at it. I'm not sure if you think that as it is self inflicted the consecuences are not as important or it is "less real disease " because of it ? or what is your point when saying it is self inflicted ...as if it were less real.
many diabetes are from a lack of care and bad diet through the years, lung cancer could come from smoking, is it less real ? i don't see what you are meaning, sorry :)
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