Aa
62 days today! My timeline of symptoms...
I did it; 2 months. I can't believe it.
Being Thanksgiving, I wanted to take time to personally thank ALL of you who helped me get to this point. And there are many of you.. I was a MESS on day 7 and I remember clearly posting here and getting so much support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
For the benefit of those getting newly clean, I thought I'd post what MY withdrawals were like:
Day 1-3 Leg aches were the chief symptom. Really bad leg aches, like down to the bone. I was also tearing up in a way that was crazy...i had water coming out of my eyes non-stop.
Day 4: Mr. Diarrhea decided to make an entrance, and he came wearing a tophat and tails. It was bad. I started using Immodium, but not the full dose...just one in the morning, and one at night. it helped; a LOT.
Day 5: Blinding headaches made their guest appearance. Called my doctor and he put me on Clonidine...very small dose. Always ask your doctor before taking ANY medication.
Day 6: Stomach still hurting, the big D still a houseguest, and now I discover that I simply cannot sleep. NO way, no how. I had to work today and my hands were shaking hard. It was not pleasant.
Day 7-16: Same deal: Leg cramps getting a bit better, but tummy still a mess, headaches still around but not as bad. Shaking, night sweats, no sleep, and oh yes, blurry vision.
Day 16: I've talked about it on here ad nauseum, but "the cough" started today. Can't say more than 2 words without coughing my head off. Doctor prescribes something (non-narcotic) and I try OTC stuff, but nothing touches it.
Day 16-30: Getting better every day. No more leg cramps, I can eat a full meal without doubling over with cramps, and the headaches have pretty much gone away. Cough still here.
Day 30-60: Feeling a tiny bit more human every day, except for the cough and SLEEP. I don't fall asleep, I don't stay asleep, and when I do manage an hour or two here and there, I have vivid nightmares. Often about taking pills. Oh well...
And that's where i am today...day 62. I had a physical last week and still have to go for bloodwork, which will be interesting....I want to see if my body chemistry has radically changed since getting off oxycodone.
To anyone just starting out: It seems like you're never going to feel better, but you do, trust me. NO ONE stays in w/ds' forever. No one.
This has been a strange journey, and I intend to stick around and see what the next six months are like. I'm feeling more aches and pains than i ever had before, but I know that its just part of getting older.
When I wanted to stop the opiates, my whole family was concerned. I have real back issues and severe costochondritis (it can mimic a heart attack and landed me in the hospital more then once.) Here are the reasons I decided to stop:
1. They stopped working. I started on 20 mgs a day. Then 30, then 40. When I started getting really bad pain at 40 mgs, my doctor wanted to increase me to 60. I tried that for one day, and then said "no." At 60 mgs a day, I really shouldn't have been driving a car, my brain was foggy, and I was VERY....um...lets just "dis-inhibited." I read some work emails I sent out when I was on higher doses and they were inappropriate. I didn't have good judgement, and my reaction times were a mess. I was in a haze...24/7.
2. It became ridiculous filling the script each month. I had to call my doctor's office, make sure my MD got the message; make time to get away from work and drive there, to pick it up in person (Schedule !! after all.) There were a few times when my script was going to run out on a Sunday. I would call the doctor Friday, when he office closes at noon.
At least 3 times, he didn't get the script. So I would start to go into w/d's and it was nasty; my whole weekend ruined. Any plans I made with my husband had to be cancelled. And so...
I began to anticipate this issue, and would try to get the refill done EARLY. This didn't sit well with local pharmacists, who decided I might be exhibiting "drug -seeking behavior." I understand...I used to be a licensed pharmacist myself, but I sure didn'f fit the profile, in my opinion.
That's when I found out the profile had changed. EVERYONE was addicted to opiates. Pharmacies started deciding NOT to order any oxycodone, or even vicodin. And so became:
3. The merry-go-round to find drugs. I never bought off the street. Heck, I wouldn't even know HOW. But here is what I DID do: go to the first CVS 2 blocks from my doctor's house. Drop off the script; wait at least an hour, and was told "we are out." Okay, onto the next pharmacy. No, they are out too. And so on, until I would find a drugstore that had them. I was treated like dirt. Pharm techs, druggists, even the guy just ringing up my nail polish would look at me as if I were some junkie. I hated it.
4. The side effects: 4 years ago, my husband, waiting for hip replacement surgery (he was an avid skier in his 30's and destroyed his hips) was on vicodin for pain for EXACTLY 2 months. And in that time, his digestive system got so blocked up that he almost died. I'm not exaggerating; every word of this is true. He developed a perforated colon, had to undergo emergency surgery and then a colostomy bag installed. Luckily, he was able to have it reversed, but it was a devastating thing for him to go through and for me to watch.
His doctor kept telling me: the opiates did this. They STOP your GI tract. I knew this...the oxy I was on made he horribly constipated.
Scared I would end up like my husband, I started abusing laxatives. I became obsessed with them. But I could never get myself...'regulated.' I was either all 'backed-up' or having diarrhea. It was awful.
The itching...oh god, I was ALWAYS scratching myself. I have sensitive skin (half Italian/half Irish) and people were always remarking that I had red streaks all over my neck.
I knew I wasn't "at my best." I took them for pain, yes, but they affected my brain. There were times that I felt as if I shouldn't' be driving, so I began to avoid leaving the house.
The drugs made me...'complacent.' Unmotivated. I was a lump in sweatpants, sitting in front of my computer, reading TMZ.
And then, it happened. On a Friday, I called my doctor to refill my script, and go pick it up. But he was on vacation for 2 weeks. I asked the OTHER doctor, a new guy, if he would fill it. And he refused. He was a total jerk (my doctor ended up terminating their partnership). I was out for at least 2 weeks. I tried talking to him and he treated me as if I were a drug addict. Which i was, but this didn't seem right.
I had enough left to start tapering, and that's what I did. When my real doctor came back, I was down to 10 mgs a day, and in full-blown w/d's.
The rest is history. I have legitimate pain. But it's not severe. It's not cancer-pain. I'm not terminally ill. I have repetitive motion injury to my upper body, and arthritis in my spine. So do half of the population of folks my age.
I've been using yoga, massage, Advil, Tylenol, and sometimes, I JUST GO LAY DOWN.
That last part is important. On opiates, I never listened to my body because it was always numb. Now, when I'm tired, or my back hurts, I give myself permission to say "I need to take 30 minutes and just rest." And thats' OKAY! It doesn't mean I'm a loser, or not motivated, or making excuses.
Thanks to anyone reading this. It CAN be done. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Being Thanksgiving, I wanted to take time to personally thank ALL of you who helped me get to this point. And there are many of you.. I was a MESS on day 7 and I remember clearly posting here and getting so much support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
For the benefit of those getting newly clean, I thought I'd post what MY withdrawals were like:
Day 1-3 Leg aches were the chief symptom. Really bad leg aches, like down to the bone. I was also tearing up in a way that was crazy...i had water coming out of my eyes non-stop.
Day 4: Mr. Diarrhea decided to make an entrance, and he came wearing a tophat and tails. It was bad. I started using Immodium, but not the full dose...just one in the morning, and one at night. it helped; a LOT.
Day 5: Blinding headaches made their guest appearance. Called my doctor and he put me on Clonidine...very small dose. Always ask your doctor before taking ANY medication.
Day 6: Stomach still hurting, the big D still a houseguest, and now I discover that I simply cannot sleep. NO way, no how. I had to work today and my hands were shaking hard. It was not pleasant.
Day 7-16: Same deal: Leg cramps getting a bit better, but tummy still a mess, headaches still around but not as bad. Shaking, night sweats, no sleep, and oh yes, blurry vision.
Day 16: I've talked about it on here ad nauseum, but "the cough" started today. Can't say more than 2 words without coughing my head off. Doctor prescribes something (non-narcotic) and I try OTC stuff, but nothing touches it.
Day 16-30: Getting better every day. No more leg cramps, I can eat a full meal without doubling over with cramps, and the headaches have pretty much gone away. Cough still here.
Day 30-60: Feeling a tiny bit more human every day, except for the cough and SLEEP. I don't fall asleep, I don't stay asleep, and when I do manage an hour or two here and there, I have vivid nightmares. Often about taking pills. Oh well...
And that's where i am today...day 62. I had a physical last week and still have to go for bloodwork, which will be interesting....I want to see if my body chemistry has radically changed since getting off oxycodone.
To anyone just starting out: It seems like you're never going to feel better, but you do, trust me. NO ONE stays in w/ds' forever. No one.
This has been a strange journey, and I intend to stick around and see what the next six months are like. I'm feeling more aches and pains than i ever had before, but I know that its just part of getting older.
When I wanted to stop the opiates, my whole family was concerned. I have real back issues and severe costochondritis (it can mimic a heart attack and landed me in the hospital more then once.) Here are the reasons I decided to stop:
1. They stopped working. I started on 20 mgs a day. Then 30, then 40. When I started getting really bad pain at 40 mgs, my doctor wanted to increase me to 60. I tried that for one day, and then said "no." At 60 mgs a day, I really shouldn't have been driving a car, my brain was foggy, and I was VERY....um...lets just "dis-inhibited." I read some work emails I sent out when I was on higher doses and they were inappropriate. I didn't have good judgement, and my reaction times were a mess. I was in a haze...24/7.
2. It became ridiculous filling the script each month. I had to call my doctor's office, make sure my MD got the message; make time to get away from work and drive there, to pick it up in person (Schedule !! after all.) There were a few times when my script was going to run out on a Sunday. I would call the doctor Friday, when he office closes at noon.
At least 3 times, he didn't get the script. So I would start to go into w/d's and it was nasty; my whole weekend ruined. Any plans I made with my husband had to be cancelled. And so...
I began to anticipate this issue, and would try to get the refill done EARLY. This didn't sit well with local pharmacists, who decided I might be exhibiting "drug -seeking behavior." I understand...I used to be a licensed pharmacist myself, but I sure didn'f fit the profile, in my opinion.
That's when I found out the profile had changed. EVERYONE was addicted to opiates. Pharmacies started deciding NOT to order any oxycodone, or even vicodin. And so became:
3. The merry-go-round to find drugs. I never bought off the street. Heck, I wouldn't even know HOW. But here is what I DID do: go to the first CVS 2 blocks from my doctor's house. Drop off the script; wait at least an hour, and was told "we are out." Okay, onto the next pharmacy. No, they are out too. And so on, until I would find a drugstore that had them. I was treated like dirt. Pharm techs, druggists, even the guy just ringing up my nail polish would look at me as if I were some junkie. I hated it.
4. The side effects: 4 years ago, my husband, waiting for hip replacement surgery (he was an avid skier in his 30's and destroyed his hips) was on vicodin for pain for EXACTLY 2 months. And in that time, his digestive system got so blocked up that he almost died. I'm not exaggerating; every word of this is true. He developed a perforated colon, had to undergo emergency surgery and then a colostomy bag installed. Luckily, he was able to have it reversed, but it was a devastating thing for him to go through and for me to watch.
His doctor kept telling me: the opiates did this. They STOP your GI tract. I knew this...the oxy I was on made he horribly constipated.
Scared I would end up like my husband, I started abusing laxatives. I became obsessed with them. But I could never get myself...'regulated.' I was either all 'backed-up' or having diarrhea. It was awful.
The itching...oh god, I was ALWAYS scratching myself. I have sensitive skin (half Italian/half Irish) and people were always remarking that I had red streaks all over my neck.
I knew I wasn't "at my best." I took them for pain, yes, but they affected my brain. There were times that I felt as if I shouldn't' be driving, so I began to avoid leaving the house.
The drugs made me...'complacent.' Unmotivated. I was a lump in sweatpants, sitting in front of my computer, reading TMZ.
And then, it happened. On a Friday, I called my doctor to refill my script, and go pick it up. But he was on vacation for 2 weeks. I asked the OTHER doctor, a new guy, if he would fill it. And he refused. He was a total jerk (my doctor ended up terminating their partnership). I was out for at least 2 weeks. I tried talking to him and he treated me as if I were a drug addict. Which i was, but this didn't seem right.
I had enough left to start tapering, and that's what I did. When my real doctor came back, I was down to 10 mgs a day, and in full-blown w/d's.
The rest is history. I have legitimate pain. But it's not severe. It's not cancer-pain. I'm not terminally ill. I have repetitive motion injury to my upper body, and arthritis in my spine. So do half of the population of folks my age.
I've been using yoga, massage, Advil, Tylenol, and sometimes, I JUST GO LAY DOWN.
That last part is important. On opiates, I never listened to my body because it was always numb. Now, when I'm tired, or my back hurts, I give myself permission to say "I need to take 30 minutes and just rest." And thats' OKAY! It doesn't mean I'm a loser, or not motivated, or making excuses.
Thanks to anyone reading this. It CAN be done. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Hi Lisa
you said you may quit soon, I am in the same boat. What is it that you need to quit?
you said you may quit soon, I am in the same boat. What is it that you need to quit?
Congratulations! It gives me hope that it will work for me too!!!! I was on hydocodone 7.5/300 3x daily for about 6 years. The last 2 years I was taking about 6 or 7 a day. When I ran out I would buy 5mg oxys from an acquaintance that always has them. Ive wasted a lot of money over the last 2 years on that! Last month my pain Mgt Dr sent me for bloodwork and they took a urine which still had the oxy in it. Needless to say my Dr took me off the hydrocodone and put me on the Butran patch. I had it on for about a day and got so sick from it that he took me off and gave me tylenol w/codeine. So thats where I am right now. I know it is time for me to stop this crazy roller coaster!! He gave me the 30 mg codeine. I am going to try to start a taper with them and when I go back Im going to ask for a lower dose and hopefully be able to wean myself off. I don't even know if I have legitimate pain anymore since I have been high for so many years!!! Im not looking forward to withdrawal so any and all advice or encouragement will be greatly appreciated! I have spent the last 2 days reading through so many of the posts on this site just to get myself motivated and it has been working! I think I have the mindset now that I just want to be clean and off of all of these!!! Thanks to everyone who posts and shares their story! It helps!!!
Congrats on those 62 days and happy thanksgiving to you, thanks for sharing your story! I too am exactly 62 days out and can attest to several parts of your story :-) easy does it
Wow, 62days! You must be so happy. That's wonderful,congratulations. I really liked your whole post. It's helpful to actually see a detailed timeline so I'll have some idea of how things might go for me when the time comes. Love your sense of humor! L
COMMUNITY LEADER
Congrats on 62 days of freedom!!! You have much to be thankful for~
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