Good Morning everyone,
So it has been 80 days, feels better the longer I am without those horrible pills. I am stuck between positive and negative thoughts though and wonder if it is the PAWS. I feel amazing becasue I still can't believe I stopped taking Tramadol. I never thought it could happen, especially at the high does I was at. It is amazing what our bodies can overcome when we set our mind to something. I also feel amazing because I have two amazing children, family and friends that I am now clean for. I have 2 kids under the age of 2 and they keep me very busy! So busy that I usually do not have time to feel depressed or think about the pills much.
The negative thoughts have started ever since I gave up Tramadol. I think I replaced the pills with food as I have never weighed this much in my life. I am extremely out of shape and feel disgusted to look in a mirror or try to dress up nice. Other than that, I really am happy! I just need to start exercising. I just joined weight watchers online and I have been doing good so far. My problem is wanting junk food and soda. I feel like I let myself give in to that temptation, since I don't let myself give in to the pills. I still think to myself that 'just a few pills" would be nice, then I remember there is no way I could just take a few without spiriling downward again. I have come this far with the pills, now it is time for me to take care of my health and then I know I will feel much better!
This is a long, hard journey. I am sure we all wish we would have never been sucked into the pills, but all we can do now if fight for our sobriety and health. I am at 80 days but I was taking Tramadol for years, so I am sure I still have a ways to go before I feel even better. Thanks to everyone who helped me.