A True Confession of Abuse

[gipsee]

A couple of days ago I read the post about the 'scrip fraud.  God I froze with horror at the thoughts of that plight.

My fiance is a shrink MD, specializes in geriatrics.   One day while I was waiting for him in his office there was  a case of blank scripts under a desk.  

I ACTUALLY CONSIDERED TAKING A FEW!

Thankfully I never did... but reading that kid's story just sent drizzles of fear down my spine.  And I just had to get it out.  

I can't even believe I am admitting this to God and the world, but it is truly scaring me to think I could have been him.

Thanks for listening to this post.   I truly could not hold it in any longer.

Gip

[mema3]

Your post rings VERY true!  I read the TRUE fear in that post and knew how close I had come to doing the same thing too.

Like many of us - we see many scripts.  And it doesn't look too hard to fake.  Of course, b/c we are all too smart to be caught.

I have many family friends who are MD's - and script pads were easily accessible.  I thank GOD that I never got into trying to write my own - maybe b/c that horrible scenario briefly played into my mind -

Gip - your words were well put.  And brutally honest.  Anyone who has thought of faking scripts- read that post from a couple days ago.  That should scare you cold.

[matine]

Gipse
You are what? Off now 10 days. Your emotions are comming back online, along with everything else. Everything is more intense, not unlike a piano wire. BINGGGGG. You did not take the scripts. You could of also just made your own, had the them printed up  at Quick print, or ran a few off your Deskjet, or doubled up and sent one overseas to be filled ane filled one here. A few other ways. For some years I dated a Doc. She had scripts all over the apartment. It was nothing. But these past 6 months. Mmmmmm. Well maybe. But as a journalist I know that drug stores keep computer records and share, so  they know what date you cashed that last script. So goes with your medical provider. Sure a person might get one or two over if they write them diff. Change the dose, etc. But the pharm. will at some point view your recent scripts and  think 'This person has cashed a lot of scripts for Oxy. in the past 30 days.'

[gipsee]

Emotions... YA THINK? LORDY...

Well, I hybernated two-more days... I can't get away with it today though... lots going on.

I have to face Dinner w/Friends and party at my Sister's and am actually worried about if someone is going to see a difference.

I'm holding on tight....

Thanks you guys for being here

Happy New Year
XoXo
Gip

[gipsee]

Can I adopt you the girls and the New Baby?

I never had any kids....

LOL...

Happy New Year

XoXo
Gip

[mema3]

Sure!!!!  I don't know if I'd want to do that to you!!!  They are a handful!!!!

Happy New Year Gipsee!  Love ya!

[mema3]

How many are you taking currently?

I went from 5-6 10mg tabs a day to the prescribed 4 a day.  Then I cut from 4 to 3 in a week, then 3 to 2 a week later.  There were minor w/d's but the worst was when I cut from 2 to 1 -1/2 a pill a day.  that was by far the worst.  That was when full blown w/d hit me.

Maybe part mental, thinking that I couldn't take more - was causing the aches...

Then I stopped - I'm currently at 1/2 tab 2x a day - (10 mg total) - and I still get some w/d symptoms (ie bowel isues) - but I can easily cope.  Some days - I can go over 20 hours on only 1/2 tab.  I have to wait to completely quit until I deliver in two weeks (as I'm preggo).

Hope that helps!  Keep posting and checking in....

[creek]

I just know I will go through this bottle in a matter of days.  Help me with tapering ideas.  I want to take as directed. I can't seem to stop though.  This is a good way to talk and I never talked to ANYONE about this.  Are you there?

[creek]

That's just it mema.  I don't count!!!!  I don't want to know.  Tomorrow I am going to make a check for every pill.  I will let you know how many i actually take when a full bottle is in the house.  I have access to get more (terrible ways) so when the bottle gets low instead of being conservative I just slam em and it's almost as if I know they will be gone soon so why not just enjoy em and do them up.  Absolutely insane I know.  I live on a constant roller coaster.  8 years of waiting for refill dates and counting the days.  Never a social event commitment for fear I will be out at the time.  I promise to take one step forward.  Tomorrow I will count.  Because you care.

[wezejan]

Reading these posts has not only brought tears to my eyes but given me hope! I have NEVER admitted or discussed my problem with anyone.  I did not think this could ever happen to me.  I need help in a serious way.  It's nice to know I am not alone.  Where is the starting point for my road to recovery and how is the best way to avoid narcotic withdrawl.  I have alot to lose (as does everyone) if I can't go to work or function socially because of severe withdrawl, also how long will withdrawl last?  I've been on morphine, oxycodone, and vicodin daily for at least a year and a half.  Please help.  I am desperate and do not want to live like this anymore.  Thanks for listening--

[peaceinknowing]

Please keep posting and tell more of your story so that we can fully understand what's going on with you and so that we can help you better. I'm going through similar things right now, as I've been on percocet for the past two years and I'm in depserate need to get help. Everyone here will help and they're beyond willing to talk to you about any and everything. We can do this together. KEEP POSTING, PLEASE!!