ANOTHER DAY

[MIRFL]

well today is day four without any pills. me and my wife finally had a conversation last night. it's  the first time she has said anything since i told her the truth about my addiction. i have gone through w/d soo many times in the past two years that i can't even count. this time i hope is the last. i have taken some of the advise from the people on here and made an appointment with with a drug therapist. my first meeting is next wed. the 11th...
   i guess my real question is for anyone who was married for a long time before they became addicted to the pills. will i ever be able to establish the trust my wife used to have for me. i can't blame her at all for being upset with me, after all i have been lying and spending toooo much money to get my pills for the past two years. she told that she feels like she doesn't know me at all anymore. i haven't cried this much since i was a kid. i now realize how close i am to losing my wife and kids... does time really heal??

[CR_ST_NA]

wow so proud of you.........it takes real courage to be honest and transparent..........im going through something similar........fortunately my huband has been clean from crack cocaine for ten years so he can empathise with me...................never thought i'd be glad to be married to a recovering crack head.....lol............ you're gonna be fine.......keep being honest even when your craving,,,,,even when you feel like you're gonna jump out of your skin................honesty is one of the best medicines for recovery...........it wont make you high............but it will make you feel better.............big hugs.....i know what you're going through................"C"

[Confessions]

As with all things, open communications are important.  Always let her in on your thoughts, especially when you are having a bad day and ask for her support.  You are so much braver than I.  Although I've not told my DH, I believe we both know we've had too much of the HC and need to get off it soon.

[MIRFL]

your right i do deserve this. i have lied and stole money from my own family. i would be just as upset if it was the other way around. i just hope to get things as back to normal as i can get it. and the sooner the better. thanks for adding me as a friend.i hope you don't mind if i send you a mesage when i need someone to talk to.

[cocobeanlisa]

I know you think you need your wife to get/stay clean, but you do not.

Yes it would be nice to have her support right now, but put yourself in
her place.  Give her some time, when she sees you working to get
clean and stay clean she will most likely come around.  That's not for sure
though.  To get clean you must do this for yourself 1st, that is the only way
it will work. (I know from experiance).

I know with my husband once he saw that I was trying/doing the work to get and
stay clean he came around and supported me.  At first he left me hanging for a while
and I deserved it.  Why did I think I had any right to ask for his help after all of the damage I did to him ?

Give her time, if she loves you and you do the work it will happen.

You can do this, use this site for support.
cocobean

[MIRFL]

thanks for your kind words. i know what i have done has destroyed the trust between us. but how do i get her to understand that i need her to be able to beat this addiction. she is my best friend and a wonderful mother, and when she tells me that she isn't sure if she will ever be able to get over this it makes it that much harder for me. all i can do is worry about what i can control and whatever happens... happens!

[shimax78]

My fiance told me about his habit 1 month after he went through the WD's and said he was clean and would never touch Oxy again.  I didnt talk to him for 3 days. I have tried to trust him, give him the benefit of the doubt and take what he says at face value. It's hard and I think actions speak louder than words.  My problem with giving the trust back is I still see signs (and in some cases he has straight up told me) that he is getting other pills.  He says he is not addicted and justifies what he does but telling me the truth and not using his DOC.  I agree with Coco, showing in actions truly helps.  Don't give up!  Give your wife time, she will be there for you.

[confused456]

Sorry I don't have an answer to that but I wanted to show some support and say congrats on getting clean and telling your wife. Best to you.

[cocobeanlisa]

I know what you are talikng about.

I was laidoff and I couldn't pay my credit cards and I finally had
to tell my husband the whole story.  I told him about the pills and how
I paid for them with my credit cards.  He was SO UPSET with me that
I thought he would walk right out on me.  After he calmed down we talked.

I had to take responsibility for my actions and solve all of my own debt and get
clean.  There are times when he still does not trust me, but it is much better
now.  I had to show him in my actions (getting clean,paying my debt, going to meetings)
and he finally learned to put trust back inton me.  I realized that he had every
reason to leave me and had it been him I could not say if I would have
stayed with him.
I know how lucky I am to have him in my leife and I work every day for his trust
and respect.  When he does have a question, or issue with me I know he has every right
to not trust me.

hang in there and fight for your family, it's worth it
cocobean