About To Come Clean

[JCGetClean]

So I have been taking Percocet 10mg/30mg for the past 3 years. I need to quit because it has taken over me both physically and mentally. I started using beginning 2010 by taking a perc 10 every day and I felt more productive/happier than ever before. Before I knew it 2-2 1/2 yrs passed and things spiraled out of control. I am now blowing anywhere from 1-3 30s each day just to get by. As many other posts state - I am thinking about how I am going to get my next fix and worried about being able to spend time around my family for the holidays without being high. The w/d is what scares me most and I know I need to quit to get back to the fit, happy, out going guy that I used to be. I plan on starting to get clean the day after Christmas so I can enter the new year with a clear mind and move forward with my life/career. So I purchased 4 suboxen pills off the street and want to use them during the withdrawal time by tapering off them within a week. I plan on breaking the pills into 5 pieces and taking a piece every day depending how bad my symptoms are. I am not going to get anymore subs bc I hear withdrawing from them is even worse. I really could use any support/advice during this rough time and admire all the people on this site and the struggled they have been through or are going through. I also plan on getting everything the Thomas Recipe calls for to assist along the way, does this help?? I will be certain to post my progress once it begins if I am up to it. I thank everyone for knowing I am not alone!
Joey

[JCGetClean]

Def gonna hook up the bubbles when I decide to do the tub thing and listen to some songs off Eminem's Recovery album. I feel it's only appropriate. As far as the subs question - I took a piece on Christmas Day and got rid of the rest. I just feel like I should be in my bed screaming and it's far from the case. Thanks for getting back to me so soon guys and girls.
Joey

[YesLife4Me]

Are you taking any more of the subs?   I don't know how long they stay in your system?    Methadone stays in your system longer, and from experience with that, it kept me out of acute wd for an extra day or 2.  

[clean_in_ks]

You are doing SO good.....thanks also for sharing your experience with your parents....it's wonderful to hear you were loved back unconditionally.   Usually what  I fear never happens.....or at least not anything like I can build it up to be.  Fear and faith cannot reside in our hearts at the SAME time huh?   Secrets DO make us sick, and we ALL have things we're afraid to share.  I'm so happy you have your parents in your corner as you do this.

As to the "runs" question....I had the pukes......4 puke bowls under my bed cause I was too sick to empty and clean them.  Not bad "runs" at all.  We are all biochemically diff.......and what 5 people may experience, 5 more may not at all. (or mildly).  Good for you in pre-cleaning the tub....now you can go soak when you feel up to it......bubbles and music, too huh?  JK...
Blessings to you~

[JCGetClean]

Day 3 - is it normal that I have not yet experienced diarrhea from withdrawing at this point? I've been starting each day with what the Thomas recipe calls for and a banana to get my kick of potassium. I woke up at probably 1:30 am and got 2 hr intervals of sleep until about 8:30 am. I'm doing okay and I thought things would be a lot worse but maybe the really bad symptoms are still to come. I cleaned the bath tub just to be too tired to even get in it. I plan on soaking in about an hour to help with my muscle aches.

[YesLife4Me]

Just wanted to send you some positive reinforcements and encouragement!!    I'm happy to hear you have some support from your parents.   They sound awesome.   :))

[JCGetClean]

Day 2 - Lastnight I opened up to each of my parents about my problem and they were - for lack of a better term - cool as ****. My mom was upset with me at first but it's understandable bc she still thinks of me as her little boy even though I'm 26 yrs old. Then this morning when I was tossing and turning in my bed, my mom came in with a half a Xanax and k-pin to assist with my uneasiness so I could relax. I know she got them from my sister who has had depression for several years now but I didn't ask. I think this is just proof that no matter how scared you are to open up to those around you, you may find them to be more supportive than ever and not people that will look down on you. Isn't that what family is for? And for those husbands and wives out there scared to tell your significant other about your problem (sickness) - they should be there for you no matter what because that's what love and care is about. Starting to yawn and get teary eyes. Also the heat is pumping in the house but I'm still cold. Ill be back on later, thanks again to everyone jumping on this forum.

[Pat1956100]

It doesn't matter when you said you were going to get clean as long as you keep trying that's the most important thing.  You don't have to keep to YOUR DATE, just do it sweety and we will be here to support you.  It's not easy but it is so doable.  We have all been where you are and we will support you no matter what.
Hugs
Pat

[clean_in_ks]

Good for you for sticking to your plan.....you said the 26th would be Day 1 and here you are!!  You're back posting, ready for the beginning of a lifetime of being free!  You sound honest, openminded and willing.  You are open and asking for suggestions.  Great attitude goes a LONG ways..

As for the benzos in the Thomas Recipe......they were referenced in the original recipe, but the one at the bottom of this page in the Health Pages is a "re-posted" thomas recipe and does NOT have benzos in it.

Glad you came back and posted today.... don't see that follow thru very often and it's refreshing!!

[gnarly_1]

HI if you got the sub in you your probably not feeling to bad but once your threw your happy week the perc withdrawals will come back with a vengeance im not telling this to you to discourage only to let you know so you dont freak out many a person has tried what your doing it only prolongs your withdrawal it never haults it stick around and keep posting for support we all want to see you get clean...Gnarly

[JCGetClean]

Yea I had to or I would have been a mess and just unable to hide the w/d symptoms.

[kme17]

Did you take the subs to get thru the holidays?

[JCGetClean]

So today was day 1 and it really wasn't too bad. I'm guessing the drugs from yesterday are still in my system and the withdrawals are going to creep in slowly. I know one portion of the Thomas recipe calls for benzos, does anyone have any other suggestions for getting a good nights rest? I bought NyQuil because I would rather not resort to Valium Xanax, etc. Ill check back in a little and continue to post as much as possible. Otherwise I have all the other ingredients to fulfill the recipe. Any other things that could help over the next week I would love to hear!

[Missshawn]

If you want to quit,do fear the withdrawal.. I was on 2-4 a day for three years..I taper down then quit. It was bad at all. It was pleasant but I truley expected worst..

[JCGetClean]

I wish this forum was similar to Facebook and allowed you to "Like" people's comments because every post makes me feel happy that there are others that can relate to my situation and the support is incredible.  1st clean day starts on the 26th. Look out for my comments and progress updates. I am certain I will need support most during the w/d stages. I thank you all for your time and input.

[VICourageous]

HI MY NAME IS VICKIE I am going on 4 months clean off of the worst drug in the world methedone. I did oxy and hydros before this. I WENT COLD TRUKEY from 30mg and above I was snorting with adderral and taking cloazepam at night. SOOO The withdraws was the hardest thing I experienced but a blessing in the long run. My head came out of a 16yr fog the transmitter in the brain stated to work because as you know the drugs suppress all of this. I watched lots of viedos of the disese of addiction. (Pleasures Unwoolven, betty ford tapes or some on the internet) This explains alot and helped me stay striaght. I am to lod for this **** I would of died soon. The withdraws for me was 1. High *** anxiety and no sleep for about over 30 days, then 2. was starting to sleep and cat nap but got weak as never ever before.3 I now just have lower spine pain and slight weak. But now I was a long term user and am 56yrs old female. I go to NA & AA and they all say it takes a good year to get it all back to a good way, however I beg to differ some because I get good Vit & Min over the internet from a good source. I am trying to take baby steps to work out. My HUSBAND went cold truky from a long use of Hydros and He is comming around alot quicker because those opiates are short term and do not live in the body like methedone. Anyway all of us go through stages of symtoms and there is no easyway out. It DOES GET BETTER. You took the first step in recovery and admitted you are or becoming a addict. Go to meeting I swear the support is saving my *** too......You find people with the same story as yours. My whole family and frieds know all about my addiction and recovery I do have SUPPORT that way too! So besides ltting my self down if I do any kind od brain addiction drug I will be letting them all down too!!!!! It works if you really want it get more support please. Vickie God Bless

[KMK523]

Hello Joey and welcome!! I was also a Percocet abuser for 16 years! I was taking about 16 10/325's each day...just to keep me straight. It is the best choice you are making to come clean!! I won't lie and tell you it's easy. I went cold turkey. The first week is the hardest, but not impossible. This site helped me through my darkest times. Post often....trust me it will help more than you know. As of today I am 215 days clean. My life is so much better sober. I never thought any of this would be possible. Remember "pain is temporary pride is forever!!" good luck to you!! Keep posting!! :)

[littlebit667]

Glad you found this forum!  I just want to say that the fear of withdrawals is often worse than the actual act.  We can come up with all sorts of reasons to stay on the pills because of it.  The one thing (among many) that helped me was to think of it as having the flu.  In many ways withdrawal symptoms are the same.  Check out the Thomas Recipe here:  
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66

I found it very helpful as has many others who are detoxing.  

When you have the flu...you just have to treat the symptoms as they occur.  You can't stop the flu..you just have to get thru it.  3-5 days of feeling sucky and anxious and you will start to feel better.

The hard part is after.  Staying off the pills is the hard part..harder than the withdrawals.  But it can be done.  Getting help here and in the real world is a must.  I hid it all and failed miserably every time.  For me it took telling my two adult children and husband.  Once I got the secret out..it made all the difference.  I discovered the secret made me sicker.   Everyone is different in that respect.  What really helped the most was telling my doctor.  Maybe I was lucky, but she helped me so much.  

If you can't do any of the telling...you can still do it...depends on your situation and level of need.  I needed them to help me..others have done it alone.  Either way, it is possible.

Keep coming here as you detox..many have found it makes a bi difference getting help as you go thru the process.  

[worried878]

Picking a quit day and sticking to it is so important!  I also told a few that were close to me.  I told my mom and it was a mistake as she did not understand.  What is done is done tho and i made it.  Like u, i was afraid..but when sai and done, it really wasnt too bad.  u will be ok..find support and seek it when u need it and even if u do not (:...make sure u cut off all supply and that there r no pills anywhere in ur reach...make it easier on urself...when u r done..u r done!

Merry Christmas

[JCGetClean]

Yes, I do not want to stop one addiction to start another (percs to subs). I just do not want to be reliant on pills everyday in order to make it by. I need to face the everyday struggles and stresses that people have like a man, and I know I can do this. But like I said in my initial post, I am super nervous and scared bc I know withdraw is no walk in the park as I've had my days here and there without being able to score due to things being dry or just flat broke. I am fortunate that I can take a week off to get better.  As far as Louise's comment - I plan on speaking to my father about this so I have the support. He has been in and out of rehab multiple times and I know can relate and help me through this. I thank god the sober person he has become and how great he is to our family. I will def make sure to keep everyone in the loop along the way and appreciate all the comments and support. It is reassuring. Day 1 will be on the 26th. Why the wait? I have percs on me that I know I will use and I am being honest. My addiction has just got out of hand and I get down on myself but I need to bring in 2013 the right way and be the person my family and friends know I am. Thanks again everyone!

[worried878]

and i made a typo above..sorry.......including Aftercare in a plan is a definite help for most, (o:

[worried878]

I am glad u are quitting!  I do realize buying pills off the street is not savvy...so 2 say...but in this case, maybe for the best.  Had u gone to a dr to get sub he woulda gave u a butt load and nuttinbut a new problem on ur hands...so i think ur plan is a good one.
I was on 100-150mg of hydro daily and 2 mg of sub was more than enough to keep me wd free.  I did not use sub to stop hydro, just took them when i was out as a friend had them.  I knew they were dangerous for me, cos i did get my daily burst of nrg from them and lots say they dont get high or whatever on sub...for me, i liked them better than hydro...so knew better than to start on the sub mobile.
WDs, physically are not the problem for most,,,the scary stuff we fear like our worst nightmre.  It is the mental stuff that cursed me for eons...my physical was alot like a mild flu, a lil headache, tired etc...nothing i shoulda been afraid of.  Yet, like u, i was...and i was wrong.  The big bad stuff for me waited around the corner and i had no idea this would happen.,  I was preapred for the physical stuff..not the mental crud tho which happened weeks ltr.

We are so afraid of feeling bad for a few days that many of us continue to use, which in reality, is much much much scarier!  Dont be afraid....being a nurse i see so much suffering,,,,folks with cancer and gosh awful stuff...and it kinda seems silly i was so afraid of feeling flu-like for a few days..but i was.  I think in reality, which while using i had no true reality, i was afraid of letting go..saying never again... pills were like a part of my daily routine...even a headache will be missed if a person has had it long enough!

Any plan is a good plan as long as u stick to it.....including in a plan is a definite help for most, and the single most important ingredient most addicts leave out...truly the only treatment to improve our odds, yet we resist it like the plague

Good luck to you....always move forward and keep posting

[toothfairie]

just wanted to say welcome and this site is an awesome place for support and info!  i don't have experience with subs but i'm 36 days clean from many many years of hydro use....this site literally saved me and helped me thru the rough days....you can do this....it has been done and you will feel so much better after you get thru the WDs....the Thomas recipe is great...just take from it what you need....

stick close to this site....most of us are on here every day at some point....and we are here for you and want you to succeed!  keep posting and let us know how you are doing!  good luck and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon!  congrats on wanting to take control of your life!!  

[Louise5414]

I know from watching my daughter detox  that detoxing is very tough. You have to be strong and not do it alone. You need to have a supportive person with you if possible to support and be there for and with you.  I have no idea what the withdrawals are like personally I just feel from others how hard it is but if you have decided the time is now you can do it. Our minds can help us thru a lot and so can support of people that care. You have a caring community here so look here for support always. Be strong. You will love yourself and love your life once you can really feel again

[JCGetClean]

Teresa,

Thank you for the quick response. Okay, I will take your advice with the subs n just get rid of them. Unfortunately, I do not have health insurance and I have exhausted my funds due to this awful habit so I can't see a sub doctor to get on an appropriate schedule. I will def let you know my progress along the way and I am guessing the Thomas Recipe is a good thing based on your reply. Thanks again!