Abusive behavior with Gin only

[Nik]

None of the other alcohol questions seemed to be on point to my situation. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. It runs in his family and he just doesn't want to get help although he knows he has a serious problem. Twice when we have gone to a particular Club he has gotten Gin and Tonics. After 2-3 drinks he becomes VERY verbally abusive. After a brief period of time this behavior subsides and he has very little memory of it. When told about it he has faint recollections. Is it possible that his body "can't handle" gin? What is it about gin that would cause this? Or is this just a side effect from alcoholism that will eventually get worse and worse? Thank you.

[Duke Roul]

From what I know about the effects of Alchole on the body, then yes to some people different substances can cause mental allergic reactions.

One of my friends is Allergic too Vodka and become violent when he drinks it, even after only one shot !"

I can only really suggest you force him to stop drinking it, perhaps you should suggest a different drink !


- Goodluck, Alchole is a timid mistress , its never an easy thing to give up !

-Matt-

[jennyfla]

Hi Nik (short for nicole maybe, that's my oldest daughter's name)
Ok, so your boyfriend is having problem handing gin.  I wouldn't think that the problem would be so much the gin, more so, he has a problem with alcohol, and basically, he should sustain from any form of alcohol beverage.
Anything that alters your personality so drastically clearly shows that there's a problem.  I assume he is still fairly young.  But I will say this, you hit the nail on the head wondering if this was just the beginning and that it will get worse, IT WILL, no doubt in my mind!!!!
You can only make a suggestion to him to stop, seek treatment, whatever it takes for him to stop drinking completely.  Unfortunately, especially with his underlying personality trait of being nasty, he probably won't take your advice.
Be prepared to make a life-adjustment, and possibly look for a new boyfriend, one that has his act together a bit more, and one who doesn't take out his angry on you; remember, no one deserves to be treated badly; it's time to move on.
If you care about him and are unable to move on, you can give it a short, try to help him help himself, and those are the key words, he must WANT TO DO THIS IN ORDER FOR HIM TO BE SUCCESSFUL, no one can force anyone to do anything!!!!  Tell him that you WILL NOT continue to stick around and be treated like this.  Either he find himself some help, or you are down the road, bye bye!!!
Simplying put:  no one can change another person, and no one should be treated the way he is treating you, and lastly, it ALWAYS gets worse!!!
Good luck sweetie!
Jenny

[pinky to rebecca]

sorry to bust in on this thread, but i haven't posted in a while and thought i would give an update.
my husband tried the thomas detox method a month ago and it seemed to work for ten days or so. then when he began going back to the 'source' for more fens and the fens weren't available, the methadone was.
he is now starting at a private methadone clinic.
my opinion of detox, this coming from the perspective of an onlooker, is that not only does the person need the desire to be clean, but the means to be clean. their status (employment, financial) plays into the bigger picture, and how they view themselves at the time is so important. he had my support through this trial, but he didn't have the support of self worth. so we're back to square one it feels like. and as good an idea as The Recipe is, it wasn't enough to let him loose with those weapons of addictive destruction. we need <gulp> the professionals.
i guess. cat

[Francoise]

Jenny is right. You cannot force anyone to do or not do anything. They either want to and will, or they won't. You'd be better off encouraging him, but not trying to force him

Francois

P.S. to the management. OK is there anything about THIS post that will make you delete it? I have again searched this site after a couple of weeks and EVERY post I have submitted is gone. I would appreciate an explanation concerning why you are deleting my posts, no matter how innocuous!

How about some honesty here? Why are you deleting my posts?

Frank

[Wizard]

Frank I'm only jumping in here because you addressed you post to everyone. I found your post's under Maintaining Sobriety 10/21, Amphetamines 10/17, MyUnborn Baby 10/16, Affects after Withdrawels from Xanax 10/14, No One Will Help 10/10. They seem to be under the "Comments from" heading at the top of each of those strings. Hope those were the ones you were looking for.
Power & Magick 2 U always,
Wiz

[Wizard]

I'm glad I went searching for those posts as I would never have seen Beth's Picture! Congratulations my dear...you look GREAT! I wondered what everyone was talking about and now the Old Wiz knows! Rainbows and Wiz Dust to you my friend.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wiz

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Your post gave me a chuckle!  "Gin makes you sin" is an old saying that a very good friend used to use.  He was a Martini fiend and claimed that if he stuck with Vodka Martinis he could play 36 holes of golf no problem.  Gin Martinis were his downfall.  The last time I saw him was when I visited him in the county jail after he got his ninth DUI.  He blamed it all on the Gin!  Nine DUI's and all while he was on Gin.  It's just part of the insanity of alcoholism that we rationalise this way.  Oh, and yes, it only gets worse over time.  Try 20 years in front of bars, and you will end up behind bars for another 20.

Alcohol is alcohol in what ever form.  Even if you have the ability to stay sober for years, one beer will start you down that long spiral anew.  Just like any other substance we are predisposed to abuse.  Just some advice from someone that knows a little of where you are coming from!   J.B.

[jennyfla]

I'm very sorry to hear that you have to go through this, living the seemingly never ending ordeal of a loved one who is battling an addiction!
It's very difficult being in your shoes, i know this first hand.  Using the methadone is in my book, trading one drug for the other.  Your husband does need to 'want' to get better, you have that right.  I also can relate to the financial aspect of your situation; i've been there many times.  
I so hope that your husband will come to realize that he cannot expect to have any decent kind of life until he decides to take the big step into rehabilitating himself.  Programs work for some, so i hope that when he decides he is fed up enough, he will take the appropriate steps towards sobriety.  They don't hit you over the head with a magic sobriety stick, he needs to be ready to put forth much much effort and it will be a lot of work to say it lightly.  Back 3-years ago, for some deranged reason, i thought that rehab was a cure-all.  That people came back all brand new squeaky clean, then it would be over.  Man, was I ever wrong!  Like i said, the biggest step towards recovery is wanting to get clean.  Nothing will work, no matter how much money it costs, until the person is ready to change their ways and their life!
I wish all the best for you, it's a horrible way to live life each and every day (I know all too well!)
Lv Jenny

[Shea]

Francoise...

SOOOOOO Many of My Posts have been deleted also. I have gone through each thread individually and most are GONE. It is so irritating.....Especially when you are asking for help or lending support and it is deleted.


Shea

[Thomas]

I wonder who they decide to keep? What's the thought process ... Maybe the webmaster was once mugged by someone named Francoise.

[CASEY]

Your comment about how you blindly believed in rehab struck a chord with me. I have heard so many stories about failed rehab that I don't even wish for it anymore for my addicted son, unless he wishes for it. (Snowball in hell) I have tried to go on with my life, knowing there is no silver bullet but then, what do you hold onto? What keeps you going, Jenny? Do you just give up on your husband? Ignore his abuse and just take care of the tasks of life? It is so hard to go on while someone destroys his life under your nose. How are you doing it? thanks,

[jennyfla]

Let me start by saying that I very much admire your dedication to your son, sticking by him through thick and thin, and all the pain that goes along with it.
I find the strength because I have no other choice.  I have to keep going on for the sake of my children, although i really wonder whether I should be letting go, and moving on in order to 'save' them from this terrible life.  My husband fell hard into addiction, and I soon followed.  I can't blame him, we have no one to blame but ourselves, I try to be honest with my feelings.  It just seems easier to deal with the pain when I'm able to 'numb' myself, although I know that in reality, I am making things much much worse (another painful feeling that I try to numb).  My problems just keep compounding, and I don't know how to stop it.  I've been together with my husband for over 20-years now, and I have a hard time thinking about a possible life without him, although I know i'd probably be better off.  I still cannot deal with the thought, he's almost too much a part of me now.  I'm a codependent through and through, learning this trait from my dad who tried to cover up my mom's drinking problem.  They are excellent parents, but my mom felt the need to 'numb' herself at times, always dealing with a demon of child abuse in her painful past.  They are still wonderful parents and wouldn't trade them for anything.  
I am a survivor, so I have no other choice other than getting through each day best I can, trying to concentrate on my kids, making sure that they get the love they need, protecting them from harm, and just plain providing for them best I can.  Their dad also loves them very much, although he has so very many unresolved issues all bundled up in his head.  He grew up with two alcoholic parents, who were very young when they started having children.  He has a lot of pain inside, and doesn't know how to address it, and relieve himself of his aquish!
I want to add that I don't completely write off rehabs, I think they work wonderfully if the person is willing to work the program and follow through with all the necessary steps in order to maintain sobriety.  It's just that most aren't ready and willing to do what it takes to achieve full sobriety.  You have to really really want it in order to succeed, there's no other way!!!  Your son is still so young, and i pray that he reaches the age of understanding, and finally realizes that there is so much more to life, and that living like this is not 'living', it's surviving.  It becomes a game of survival, just trying to get through each day without loosing your mind.
No addict started out saying that 'when i grow up, i want to be an addict', 'i want to flush my life down the toilet'.  It's a horrible web that we get trapped in, because of things that we find we can't deal with, so we seek some sort of relief from the pain inside.  
I hope that your son comes to terms with his addiction one day, and decides for himself that there is so much in life to live for, and that he knows he deserves a much better life then the one he is living.  I pray this for his sake and your's.
You're a wonderful mom and you deserve a big giganic (((HUG))) for sticking by your son.
I am a mom of three beautiful children, and i do have to say, it's one thing going through this with your husband or yourself, but if i ever had to go through this with one of my children, i don't know if i could be so strong, the pain would be so horrific, I truly feel for you.  This is something i hope to avoid, but another painful thought to me is, by me staying with my husband and my continuing to use, i am giving my children the amunition to be users and codependents just like me.  This hurts most of all!
Good luck to you, and I really hope that your son find his way home.
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

I read through your post again.
I want to add that one thing you could do, and that would be to start thinking about yourself!  Have you gone to any Alanon meetings, i can't remember from your previous posts.
You need to start living for yourself, and concentrate on what you want in your life and strive towards it.  You've done what you can for your son, and you need to make sure that his addiction doesn't pull you right down along side him.  What good will you be to him if you end up dieing from all the stress you are putting yourself through?
It is very difficult, but the time has come for you to start letting go.  As awful as that sounds (and very difficult to do), the way you will be able to 'go on' will be to learn to let go.
If he doesn't want to get better, there isn't a dam thing you can say to make him want it.  
It's awful I know.
I hope that you find a way to deal with your pain.  I hope that you can get on with your life and start living your life for YOU!
Good luck mom!
Lv Jenny

[dominique]

I hate to break in with something not related but my doctor took me completely off of roxicet after 2 years of back pain.  I only had enough left to last until today so I turned to a friend who got me something she said was generic percocet but I don't know her well enough to completely trust her.  Does anyone know what the round, white, scored, marked 512 tablets are?  Are they oxycodone.  I know this is not a good thing to do but I am deathly afraid of detoxing cold.  I plan to taper off with these pills if they are real.  Please tell me if anyone knows.

[katie r]

Try going to www.rxlist.com
go to advanced search.....this will give you an option to search by the numbers printed on the pill. I searched myself but didn't have much luck...the only pill I could find with the imprint of 512 was cipro. I also have a book about prescriptions and they show the picture of percocets and they are round, scored with the word Dupont (i think..my eyes aren't that great)but this picture was probably not the generic ones. So I guess I wasn't much help. I'm sure there are people in this forum that have taken generic percocet....they may be able to help you. Be careful though...I once had a "friend" give me what she said was generic vicadin....I could tell by looking at it, it wasn't like any vicadin I had taken. I looked it up at RXlist and it was for yeast infections.

[kstuebin]

Just take them to a pharmacy and ask the pharmacist.  Tell her found them in your medicine chest in an unmarked bottle and you think they're percocet.  I did this once with some pills that were supposed to be generic darvocet.  The pharmacist was very helpful and they were.

[Thomas]

I don't know ... I would be reluctant to confide in a pharmacist, especially with my history. If I ever told a doctor or pharmacist what and who I really am, they're eyes would go wide as the moon. It would be like going to the IRS for financial advice.

[jule1]

Hi Thomas - How are you my friend I am so tired I cant keep my eyes open but had to say hello it doesn't seem like you have been around a lot lately.  Guess what?  It had been warm enough here for vicoden popcicles!!!   I am feeling sad today unloved and unappreciatted I guess PMS but would never admit that to anyone but my forum family ok time to go to bed for more wonderful dreams of maybe something like "Darvon Doughnuts"  YUMMY B'BYE!!!   LUV YOU GUYS!

[cindi]

God, I hate PMS,,,it always either makes me so depressed or unappreciated..I never sleep well when I am pms'ing,,just feel like ****  there are herbs and vitamins that do help....or so they say...hoep you get some sleep..catchya later........love cin

[dominique]

Thanks very much for the advice. I tried every search on the net I could but could not find anything.  I went to the library to look in the PDR and still couldn't find anything.  I did go to the pharmacy after reading your reply and he told me it was a generic percocet.

I have been coming to this site for a while now and the people here have helped me so much. There is no place else I have been able to find people as open as you are and I believe you can't get help as long as you have to keep your true feelings about  your addiction to yourself.  As soon as I get more time to think better I will share my history.

P.S. That yeast thing was kinda funny (although I'm sure it wasn't funny to you at the time, I'm glad it wasn't something that could have hurt you). I hope your'e not offended. But everyting I come to this site, something makes me laugh.

[dominique]

A strange thing happened.  When I posted my comment today, your's wasn't up there.  When I came back about an hour after I posted my last comment, I saw your comments from yesterday.

I did think about going to the pharmacy first but thought they would think I was doing just what I was doing, getting drugs from someone and trying to verify what they were.  I was surprised (and relieved) that he was very helpful and didn't give me any lectures.  

I also want to say that you and the others on this forum have .... well, I don't have the words, I'll just say I like being here.  Thomas sometimes you say the funniest things that only a true dope fiend like myself would appreciate.

[katie r]

When I look back on the yeast pill thing now...it is funny as hell. At the time the girl gave me 35 pills...usually she gives me 30......the extra 5 were for the darn yeast infection I didn't even have! I know what you mean about getting the giggles when I come to this forum. Happens to me everytime. :)

[CASEY]

Jenny, thanks for taking time from your challenges to help me. I think we are very much of the same cloth. I am a survivor and I keep going because the whole family depends on me financially and emotionally. I will never give up on my son but I am continuiing with life. I work fulltime, attend Alanon and try to turn my son over to God last thing at night and first thing in the morning. I think the difference between now and six months ago, is that now I recognize that I don't have any answers so I have quit trying to make things happen for my son like like trying to get him to rehab. If that is the answer, then I hope God gets him there. I truly don't know and that is kind of a relief not to feel like I have to have the answer for everything. I have read that some people actually just quit drugs on their own. Others need more structured interventions. My son is just headstrong enough that if he decides to give up the whole scene, he could probably  defy the odds. I have worked too hard to protect him from the pain of  life but in doing so, I have robbed him of belief in himself so I am stepping aside. I just hope it is not too late. Thanks again, Jenny.

[Marryanne]

I was in a similar situation as you.  I will tell you what I did.  I got a camcorder ready.  Then I went about my business and the evening.  Once my friend became intoxicated, I had it hidden so I turned on the camera.  I recorded EVERYTHING.  I waited until late the next day (as the morning wasn't good due to the terrible hangover)and I showed the video to my friend.  Trust me, they cannot argue with that.   A picture is worth a thousand words.  Good luck, Maryanne
If you don't own a camcorder, rent or borrow one.  It will work.

[Pharmhead]

ANYONE PLEASE HELP i need id on white scored round tablet marked 512
Cipro?
oxycodone?