Adderall Addiction

I am 24 years old, and have been on adderall (adderrall) for 11 years, since the time I was diagnosed with ADD.  As an adult how the drug affects me has changed greatly, and I have now formed both a mental and physical addiction to it.  I have formed my life around taking this drug by pursuing a high pressure education, a college degree in a field not right for me at all, and an intensely demanding career.  

I am a naturally creative, laid back, and happy person, but the adderall (adderrall) truly changed all of that.  After having a wake up call and realizing I am no longer the person I once was, in a life not suited to me at all as a result of the stupid drug giving me ambition and drive that could not be satiated, I quit my job to get a handle on this and pursue a life that will make me happy.  I decided shortly after to pursue a new career in nursing, and am about to start taking my prereqs.  

I am now overwhelmed by the prospect of getting through school without adderall (adderrall), and frankly have no idea on how to begin getting off of it.  I simply cannot take it anymore.  It makes me anxious, jittery, crabby, and makes me chain smoke like crazy.  But at this point, I cannot dream of not taking it.  I am a lazy, good for nothing airhead without it.  Plus at times where I have skipped a dose, I have terrible withdrawal--headaches, extreme fatigue, irritability, rash temper, and a huge appetite.  So going cold turkey is not an option.  

I am going to have to re-learn how to live life essentially without it, and I am terrified.  I want to consult a doctor or addiction specialist, but I fear having them only push for me to take other pills to deal with withdrawal.  I absolutely refuse to take more mind altering prescription meds, because I will just have to deal with getting off of those later.  And I really can't talk to my doctor about this because she is nothing but a pill pusher whose solution to everything comes in the form of a pill.

If anyone has experience with this and has advice on where to begin to get off of this safely and sensibly, without just putting a hold on my life, it would be much appreciated.  

[cathy5841]

i took adderall (adderrall) for several years and just stopped it ct...if you dont think you can do that then get a tper plan and stick to it...it took the instant release kind so i could have broken them up and tapered off..but i knew i would just keep making excuses to take more....my addict mentality...get a plan and carry through.  sorry it took so long to get a response..not many ppl here have experience with adderall (adderrall)...