Addicted to Percocet & Vicodin and want to quit NOW!

Hey Everyone,

I've been reading this forum for the last few days and it's been really helpful. I've decided while I go through this I would create an account and ask for some advice. I've been addicted to Percocet and Vicodin for about 2 years (maybe a bit more?). I've gotten to the point if I get 75 5mg percocets I will take them within 6 days (or less) or if I get 30 10mg Norco's I generally finish those in 3-4 days. My tolerance is extremely high. I have Ulcerative Colitis and that is my main issue. I also suffer from chronic headaches, neck pain, rib pain and back pain. I have a never-ending array of issues that cause pain which no one can pinpoint what causes it all, so I just get meds. I've gotten to the point where I see my doctor then I'll go to an urgent care for additional help or if I'm out of town I'll see a doctor there etc. Just to keep the medicine around since I am constantly in pain and so far no doctor has gotten to a point of trying to find a bigger solution. Now I've realized I am addicted and not having the medicine means I need it and am looking for a refill from any doctor that will listen. I don't want the meds I feel like I need them. But at this point I am not sure the difference between needing and wanting anymore and want to stop so I can re-evaluate what my pain levels even are. After reading these threads I decided to come clean with my doctor after he approached me with my DEA med list last week. I was in denial at the moment seeing how many pills I had been taking...that can't be right I said. Then he said this lead him to believe I sold drugs or dispensed them to which I got very firm and said I do not deal drugs. We talked for awhile, I signed a pain contract, I told him I wanted to move out of using these types of meds anyway as I am not sure they're doing me any good. He gave me tramadol and a referral to a rheumatologist. He also said he would be calling every person on the list to see if they saw me. After thinking about it and seeing those numbers I realized I needed to come clean with him and be honest with myself and admit that I am addicted. So I reached out to him via phone, his nurse told me he asked me to email him or he'll call by the end of the day. I told him how I felt and that I have been seeing any doctor who will listen since he made me feel like I was doing something wrong by seeing other doctors, most of which where all within the old practice I went to and his practice or the same urgent care center all in the same city. Is that wrong, is that considered doctor shopping? I feel like if they are int he same practice they should be looking at my files and if they see a red flag do something about it. I also told him I want his help and only his help on getting off these meds. So he never emailed back nor did he call. Today is day one of cold turkey and I am feeling a bit crazy. My heart is racing, severe anxiety, etc. What should I do? I tried telling my doctor I need his help. I am pretty worried about coming off the high dose to nothing just like that. I am a 28 y/o female. I did email him again asking him to please follow up as soon as he can as I need his help. What should I do? Should I be worried about him not responding? What do I do if he leaves me hanging? I am definitely taking the blame because I got myself here, but if someone would have paid attention and stopped me in my tracks before I don't know if I ever would have gotten this far. Thanks for any help.

[Bkitty]

Hi and Welcome! Do you feel comfortable with your doctor? Id give it another day or so and see if he will respond,,the other option may be to go thru the pain management doctor. There are some meds that can be prescribed to help ease withdrawal such as clonidine. You can also look up the Thomas Recipe,,if you scroll down to the bottom right corner that will give you a list of supplements that you can take to ease withdrawal as well. Have you tried tapering off the pills?? Tramadol is also very addicitive and Ive read that the withdrawals from it are 10x worse than perks/vicodin. Congrats on taking the first steps in recovery!! You made a huge step today by coming clean with your doctor. Have you considered aftercare or NA,,that will also be imperative in recovery as well. There are great people here that have amazing advice and will support you. ~Bkitty

[Bkitty]

Im sorry I thought you cold turkied from the pills,,I cant read apparently LOL. The rhuematologist can help in maybe prescribing a non narcotic medication for pain management,,something to transition you to will coming off the narcotics. And yes,,what you were doing is considered doctor shopping. I wish you the best,,im headed to bed and Ill check on you in the morning,,I wish you the best~Bkitty

[mkImreadytostop]

Thanks for the reply BKitty. I basically did a bit of a taper, not a proper one and today will be the first day with no meds. Yesterday I took only 1 percocet and am hoping it helps with the withdrawal symptoms. My doctor called me this morning, of course I missed it. So I am awaiting him to call me back in a few. I am trying to drink LOTS of water, taking vitamins and such and really pushing for the mind over matter thing. I think over the past few days I jumped down from about 80-100mg of vicodin to 20 then to 15 then to 10 so I feel like it might help but there has definitely still been a level of anxiety and night sweats, some body aches. I might try to make myself go to the gym today although I don't really want to leave the house too much. I guess I should, the more normal I make my life the easier this might be to get over.

[mkImreadytostop]

BTW, if what I was doing is considered Doctor shopping and for my own personal use, what can I expect to happen with that? I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong...

[bama88]

Im proud you came clean with the doctor. I hope he has some knowltege on addiction. Or can refer you to one that does. Just dont let them talk you into methadone or subox. And tramedol is addicting and hard to detox. Read some posts about it. And yes you were doc shopping. Last year i got bronchitus (bronchitis) that turned in to pnumiona. And when i saw my pm doc he pulled my pharmacy log he thought i was doc shopping because i had three different doctors prescribing me cough syrup. I told him i got sick and first went to my family doc. Then she closed for holidays and ended up in urgent care. Then a week later went to er thank god he listened to me and saw the hydro was in liquid not pills. Doc shopping days are over with. And because of the pain pill problem everytime you fill a sript the pharmacy reports to the new global tracking system. Most states have them in place and doctors check u out time to time. Youve gotta remember their licience is on the line. If they knowing give medicine while your getting from another they too can get in trouble. And think of what they have to loose. Would you put yourself in jepardy to keep an addict going? I wouldnt. It sounds like you def. Need help. And he will call every doctor you saw. I knew a friend that this happened to. Not me i promise. I knew better than to doc hop. Im praying for you. Ive been there as well i used to take up to 20 loratabs a day. Ugh. Im lucky to have a liver. You need to think about your liver. I know it can be embarassing to get busted. But he really has your health to think about.

[mkImreadytostop]

I just spoke to him. He seemed very encouraging about this. It is embarrassing to say the least. But I need to take ti one day at a time. Try to control my anxiety and realize eventually I will beat this. I decided to stop taking any pain meds in general so I can really begin the process. I don't fully trust myself with a taper. Since I've run out I don't want to get anymore from anyone. I now understand what I was doing and putting someone in jeopardy is the last thing I want to do. I hope he doesn't call every doctor on there only because one of them is a family friend who I happened to see at an urgent care. That would be extra embarrassing and could definitely make my problem more well known than I would like it to be. Do you think I should address this with him? Or let it be?

[lulu747]

Hi Ready to stop!  Welcome and congratulations for taking this brave first step.  Just wanted to let you know-I am a 33 yr old female with Crohns, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Interstitial Cystitis, and permanent nerve damage from Stage 5 Endometriosis...I was 28 when I got sick.  I went on the rollercoaster of opiates for a couple of years-hated them-didn't understand that they were making me worst not better and so CT.  I was clean for 6 months (yoga, hot baths, saunas, massage, reiki, etc...) then I had a series of three surgeries back to back....Fast forward to one month ago and I had tapered from 75 mcg fentanyl, to 100 mg oxy before I went CT.  I have been opiate free for 22 days and my pain levels are the lowest they've ever been AND i'm having a flare....The drugs mess with your pain receptors and chemistry.  I just wanted you to know that there is hope for living with pain WITHOUT medication.  I take Tylenol Arthritis once or twice a day and I am dealing just fine-and I feel a million times better mentally/emotionally.  Detox is a special kind of hell-Bkitty mentioned clonidine--it's a life saver with the gastric symptoms so if you're working with your doc make sure you get that.  It will help with your UC.  Tell yourself you have the flu (or having a bad flare) and treat yourself with love and compassion.  I used the Thomas Recipe and am on a very intensive vitamin regime to avoid getting sick from being so run down.  The bathtub is your best friend...I live there.  If you have ANY questions feel free to holler at me personally and I'll check in with you here.  Use this forum as much as you need to-I have and it got me through, kept me positive, and made me feel much less alone.  You are not alone.  You can do this.  Try not to worry about the other stuff until after.  If you are an addict it is good to recognize yourself as one.  Trust me-you don't want to go through this and then get back on the pills.....Sending support....Lu

[mkImreadytostop]

I went most of yesterday feeling pretty good and strong. Then I got a headache and instead of reaching for the excedrin or Tylenol I took Percocet. I ended up taking 4 5mg pills. I now have none left which I think is a good thing. I can't beat myself up about it only move on to today. I can be strong enough to do this. It's crazy what addiction does to you.

[mkImreadytostop]

Btw thank you to everyone for the posts. Lulu your situation sounds so much like mine. When you or anyone of you here went CT did you ever have slip ups? I need to realize today is the first day of the rest of my life kind of thing. Get away from these pills.

[bama88]

Oh yea i slipped. Its part of the process. Dont reset tracker. Just keep moving. Read my post and see what happened to me. Im the one with the problems. Had knee replacement. Got blood clots tore mcl and was bleeding under knee. While detoxing from oxy. Slipped on tabs for pain. Gave bottle to a friend or i would take ten at a time. Then leg got stuck. Had surgery was on demerol. Now have a tooth ache. Going to dentist in a few hours. So see we all have problems. Sending southern hug. Dont beat yourself up. Now you dont have any left. So now you can concintrate on detox.

[Theresabuick]

I'm a 49yr old woman, today is my 11th day clean with nothing but 2 pm's at night to try to sleep. Honey it isnt easy just know that, it's just about how bad you want it, to stay clean. I was a 15 day perk 10 user, im only 100lbs all i can say everyday got better but my husband and myself we make each other get up and workout, even if you can walk around the block each day will get better i promise. but im going to be honest with you the 1st 3 to 4 days suck i like wanted to die i litterally lived in the bath tub for the 1st 3 days so so hot because it felt great on my bones. just stay with it no matter what, remember your not alone....

[LauraGoodman58]

Like the other commentators have said, you just have to keep going. But it really helps to get into inpatient treatment if you can!!! Going cold turkey on your own is ROUGH but professional help is there for a reason. Your doctor may have dropped the ball, but you can research this on your own and find a way to get professional help...My daughter was on meth for 3 years before we finally got her into a rehab center here in Monroe ( http://www.drugrehabs.info/louisiana-drug-rehabs/monroe-louisiana-drug-rehab-centers/ ) and it was the only thing that finally helped her...

[littlebit667]

I kept telling myself...YOU HAVE the FLU!  It will be over and I will feel so much better.  My brain seemed to get that and settled down a little.  It is hard, but doable!  The Thomas Recipe (bottom of the page under Health Pages will help.  I did not to the tranquilizers and had to cut back on the Ltryosine, but the rest really helped.  Imodium (immodium), Imodium (immodium), Imodium (immodium) (liquid or pills if the liquid can't be found or you can't swallow it) will help.  I took double the dosage for a few days (personal choice) and it helped so much..even with the withdrawals in general and the opiate trots which sucked.  

Hydrate and eat!  Even if it is just a little every hour or so.  You have to eat something to keep your energy up as much as possible.  

If you have Restless legs..it is hit or miss what works.  Walking seemed to help me some.  Hot bath with epsom salts..a little.  I finally had to get my doctor to refill my restless legs meds (non addictive) to get some sleep.  If nothing works,your doctor might help.  

One hour at a time is all anyone can ask.  After 2 weeks it gets a little better and I started to say, One day at a time!  Your brain will do all sorts of things to get you to take a pill.  I found if I was hungry..the cravings got worse.  I would try to eat a banana, a few grapes or a few crackers to get that under control.

Good for you.  I hope all goes well.  You have made a good start coming here....this site has helped me so much!!!  Keep posting!!!!!

[Treee]

Hi Readytostop. I am new here on this thread and only 3 days clean. I felt like responding to you the most because Part of what has lead me to where I am at today is similar to a question you asked. You asked is doctor shopping is illeagal? Yes, yes it is. and once you are on the DEA watch list, trust me THEY WATCH. I know this because I am currently on probabtion for several felonies related to this. You have got to stop before it ruins everything you know and love. It took me a while to stop even after all I went through because this is a horrible disease! Withdrawls suck! They suck so bad! Only 3 days in and all I can think about is how much easier my "pain" will be if I just take one little pill. It wont and I know it. This is an uphill battle, one that I KNOW anyone can win with just a littler support and time. Stay strong, Keep pushing forward. Dont end up where I did, or even worse.

Good luck!