Addicted to diluidid n need help

I am 36 years old and have fibromyalgia, rhuematoid arthritis and endometreosis - in other words severe, chronic pain.  I have prescribed diluidid for about a year now and at first I would run out a few days early.  Now my script barelt lasts a week.  My husband cant stand to be around me, nor can any if other family.  I dont want to be like this but I do need the meds for the pain.  Am I just fooling myself?  I cant live with the paid I have without meds and I am abusing my meds - its a vicious circle that is makng me feel like I am spiraling a drain and Im not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

[taperme]

Only you can decide if you are ready to give up the meds. Once you do, we can help you make a plan and be here to support you, but it is you who has to decide. For what it is worth, I have fibro as well and am almost 30 days norco free. The pain is probably less than when I was on all the meds.

[jules7l3]

Thanks for saying that the pain is less.  What did you do to get off your pain meds?

[cleanmom]

You are really going to have to talk to your doctor about this one. If you really do need the meds for the pain, then eventually, you will accept that there are non-narcotic meds that can be used to control your pain. I too suffer from fibromyalgia and endometriosis and i can not use narcotics any longer because i am an addict and they will do me no good for my pain because i too would have them gone in a week. I do not have rheumatoid, so consult with you doctor about that, but this disease is about getting really honest. I know you really do suffer, but the long term results of this are far worse. Check the health pages here on some supplements to get your health back and make the withdrawals a bit easier. I tell you to talk with your doctor about your recovery because you really do suffer pain and will need their help, and they can help you. You are not the first or the last to fall victim to this. I will keep you in my prayers. Keep posting, we are here for you. God Bless. Luv, Jacky

[micheleTX]

You have found a great support group here if you want it.  I know how vicious the cycle can become.  You may even be surprised once you get off the meds how much more tolerable all that pain will become.  Your brain on medication is a strange thing.  It tells your body to take more and more dope to handle the pain it is having, so we do that.  We take more and more and think we need it all to handle the pain, when really our brains have the ability to handle just about any pain by itself, with our natural dopamine centers and serotonin centers, etc...fascinating stuff really.  You just have to try it and see if it works for you.  I know I had lots of physical pain, multiple surgeries, etc..and was dependent for years on vicodin type things.  But now, being off them, my pain is very manageable with motrin or other otc medications.  Each person is different, and you have to see what your body can handle.  But, if you really are ready to get off this stuff, tell your doctor, plan a tapering program with him, get some support from someone, family is best, get help with this okay?  Very hard to do while keeping it to yourself.  Great luck to you and I will be praying for you.  You are in the right place, I can tell you that.  Good support from caring people here :)

[jules7l3]

Thanks for all the support and kind words.  I am so scared right now but not as scared as I am that I may have lost my husband and family through all of this.  I am afraid that if I tell my doctor he will cut me off all together, he is a pretty scary guy.  He has been so afraid that I would begin absuing the meds and low and behold I did.  I feel like such a loser, everyone has tried to make me comfortable and all i have done is become a junky.  

[lmccoy]

My problems are sort of like yours, cronic (chronic) pain that acts like acute pain. I could not handle my oxycontin and had all sorts of trouble you seem to be familiar with. I switched to methadone and got great pain relief and just didn't seem to have any desire to take them. I would miss doses and felt much more clear headed and happy. I thing is I am sure I would have ended up hooked on them and with all the same problems so I started to taper off right away. I'm almost done now and do not know if I will be able to stay off them, due to health issues, but I do know that in the future if I have to taper I will do it on methadone, and if I have to find a new Dr. I would rather go in the door clean and with a current reading on my pain. You might need to switch to a different med you do not crave so bad to do it.

[vicki595]

All I can offer is just come clean with your husband and doctor. You need to get off this stuff and you'll need medical support to do it.  Make an appt. and take your husband with you.  The family may be upset with you because they don't see any change coming. You get the meds,you take all the meds,you run out too soon,and get cranky...
We all know this scenario too well and it is very easy to become addicted...I'm sure your doctor will help when you get honest.
We'll be here to help along the way...
Keep posting~
Vicki

[cleanmom]

You dont have to come right out and say, my dilaudid is gone in a week. You can just say that you feel you are building a tolerance and would rather switch to something that is non addicting and more long term and would like a taper, (if thats what you want). Which probably wont work well to begin with if the meds dont last more than a week. And trust me, you wouldnt be the only one who couldnt do that. Most of us can not as it requires a lot of self control, which if any of us had, we wouldnt be here to begin with. As for your family, tell them how you are feeling, especially your husband. If he knows of your intentions to get well again, he may be more willing than you think to help and support. At least i am hoping. We are here for you, no matter how you decide to do this or when. Keep us updated and dont be afraid of your doctor. Worst case, he cuts you off, it wouldnt be the worst thing in the world. And if you think about it, maybe he isnt the right doctor for you if you are afraid to be honest with him. Maybe you will need someone a bit more sesitive to your feelings, espcecially at this time in your life.  Hang in there and let us know how you are doing.  Luv, Jacky

[jules7l3]

It so good to talk to people that understand where I am.  I feel so alone, not worthy of anyone's love because of what I have become.  I never saw my life being this way - I was so healthy and full of life - nw I spend every day in bed in pain. I have no life and have pushed eveyone away.  Thanks for taking the time to give me encouragement, I want to quit this pity party and move on with my life.  **** actually have a life.

[yankeegirl7877]

julie i feel your pain and want you to know that you arent alone.i am a 36 yr old single mother and have chronic pain.please dont give up on your family.i know its hard but you can do it.good luck and god bless you.

[GA Guy]

I've never understood Dilaudid for chronic pain. As you've found out, it's short half life makes it a terrible drug for that purpose. It has some pretty bad withdrawals as well..online with fentanyl. Like the others suggested, a drug holiday may be in order to assess your true pain baseline. It may not be as bad as your mind is tricking you into thinking.

[ryjohn11]

Manoga?  Jules713... OK... Im here to help, do you wanna know what I did to help with my addiction?  

[jules7l3]

Yes I would like to know what you did to help with your addiction.  Diluidid is the worst because it onl last about 4 hours.

[taperme]

Jules, I was on 2 80mg oxy and 10 norco per day. In December I stopped taking the oxy. In February I did a very quick taper off of the Norco. I think it was about 2 1/2 weeks or so. I've been off of them a month tomorrow (Yipee). I really just decided that I had enough of the pain meds and didn't even know what my true pain level was anymore. I was committed to being off of them for at least 2 months to reassess how I was feeling. Now that i am off of them I don't see any reason to take them anymore...my pain just isn't THAT bad! I am taking Savella which is an antidepresant for fibro. And I use OCT pain stuff as needed. You have come to the right place if you decide you want to stop the diluidid. Also...I think if you go to your doctor and tell them you want to taper or go cold turkey because you have decided you want to stop taking narcotics, your doctor will be pretty understanding and helpful in helping you to come up with a plan. There are also meds that can help with this too. Keep posting with any questions for feel free to send me a message.

[mr.lucky66]

It's easy to say just detox and get off of the dope and be clean. The problem is that you say you have chronic pain and have to have something. This is the first question you have to decide. Strong short acting narcotics like oxycontin and dilaudid and the worst choices for people like you who abuse them but need them because they have spikes and you're on a roller coaster all the time. Drugs like duragesic patch or methadone are usually better in cases like yours but first you need to determine if you can live without narcotics or not. There is really no right or wrong answer. all the best

[jules7l3]

I did do so much better when I was on a duragesic patch, maybe that is the solution.  I am terrified to stop all together becuase I am in so much pain now with the meds.  Thank you so much for all your kind thougts and suggestions.  I have to reclaim my life by any means necessary.

[taperme]

Jules...I was VERY afraid that I would be in more pain off of the meds or even the same pain. I am honestly shocked by how much BETTER my pain levels are OFF of the meds. That isn't to say I don't have a bad pain day here and there. Or a migraine. Or other issues. BUT I will say that overall I am in less pain now then when I was at my highest level of pain meds.
Are you taking anything besides the diluidid for your fibro? Any antidepressants?