Addicted to pain meds/doc put me on the patch

[Troxy]

After a three major operations and taking pain meds almost continously for two years, I became addicted to them and took way more than I was suppose to. I have also had chronic back pain for the last year.  My doctor priscribed (prescribed) Lortab for the pain.  About a month ago I went to my husband and my doctor and told them I was not taking the meds like I was suppose to and that I wanted to get off of them.  Actually, I had already stopped taking them.  I had heavy withdrawals and felt awful.  Since I could no longer continue to take the pain meds, my doctor put me on the patch.  Of course, that stopped the withdrawals.  He told me that it was easy to wean off of the patch.  I want to know if it is really that easy to wean off the patch?  Could you please give me some information on this.  I have searched the web and cannot find the answer to this question.  I do not want to continue on the patch if it is going to be major problems to stop using it.  Thanks.

[cindi]

I'm glad you asked that question,, my husband was just put on the patch and the pharmacist told me they are much safer than pills and not difficult to get off of...his doc also agreed...we shall see  good luck   love to all   cin

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

What patch?  Is it Duragesic by any chance or something else?

[jennyfla]

Don't mean to interrupt, but wanted to let you all know 'i'm back'!!!
I did pretty good up at my parents' house, but it's being back here that's beating me down.
I lowered my dose from 60 mg or so of oxy's (crushed), to 15 to 20 mg of loratab per day all week long.  I would take 5 mg at a time spread out through the day.  The only trouble i had was sleeping.  I had to take a tiny piece of xanax (about 1.3 mg -- just 1/8 of the 10 mg bar).  I would go to sleep eventually.  I was waking up soaked the first few mornings, but it went away.  I managed fine on the 3 to 4 doses each day and was pretty proud of myself.  Plus, i think i even gained a few pounds.  I really look pretty darn good!!!! :)
I came home this morning, and i've slipped quite a bit.  Just being back home and around 'it' again, i'm just not very strong! :(
I really haven't had too much w/d pain through all of this, but then again, my levels never went below 15 mg per day.  
I need to find some strength to beat this thing.  Being back home was tough because my parents questioned me quite a bit about what was happened, exactly, with my husband and his addiction.  They know things are not good, but have no idea about my problem.  I just can't tell them about my problem, EVER!!!!  It would kill them i just know it.  
I'm going to try to get my head together again, i was doing so well, it would be a shame to loose ground now.
Just eating better, and keeping the toxins lower in my body made me feel great, and i was looking like a million bucks!
I had a great time with my kids, and they enjoyed spending time with their grandparents so much.  Another very difficult thing, leaving them!!! :(  Talk about guilt!  I feel so guilty living so far away.  We are basically stuck, we have a house down here, and claimed bankruptcy almost 2-years ago, and couldn't get another home.  Plus, my husband works in the boating industry, and we would need to live near the ocean, and it's cold up north, and the season isn't all yeararound like here in FL.  I've been in FL for 18-years now, and it's never gotten any easier being far from my family, and they've never let up hoping that we would return.  With each additional child, it seems like it's gotten worse and worse.
Soemtimes i wish that i wasn't such a sensitive person, and that my family didn't care so much.  Everything seems to hurt so much all of the time.  They will never be happy unless we live much closer.  Why does life have to be so sad!  I just wish i could be really really happy for a change.  It's been a long long time.
Thanks for listening.
Lv Jenny

[Milo]

Boy, could I relate to your experience! First off, congratulations on doing so well during your trip. Please don't beat yourself up about slipping after returning home -- maybe you learned some things during your vacation that could help you now? Anyway, I live far away from my parents also, and even though I talk to my mother every week, it's just not the same.  They have their suspicions about my drug use, but they have never given me any grief about it -- just a little concern now & then. I love them for that! I'm not recommending that you tell your parents, but I'll bet they would be a lot more understanding than you think. I'm glad your family had such a good time together. Hold on to those precious memories for motivation as you attempt to reduce your usage. I wish you the very best -- Milo

[Milo]

Boy, could I relate to your experience! First off, congratulations on doing so well during your trip. Please don't beat yourself up about slipping after returning home -- maybe you learned some things during your vacation that could help you now? Anyway, I live far away from my parents also, and even though I talk to my mother every week, it's just not the same.  They have their suspicions about my drug use, but they have never given me any grief about it -- just a little concern now & then. I love them for that! I'm not recommending that you tell your parents, but I'll bet they would be a lot more understanding than you think. I'm glad your family had such a good time together. Hold on to those precious memories for motivation as you attempt to reduce your usage. I wish you the very best -- Milo

[cindi]

Hi  Jenny,    I'm glad you had such a good time,,,I am leaving wednesday morning    My sister is coming up from NC and me and the kids are following her back down     then next Sat...I will be in the sunshine state.....Jen,, I know how you feel.....My dad moved to florida 12 years ago..I stayed up here with my mom...All though she not was sick at the time how could I leave her....?  I lived with her. my dad had his wife and other 2 kids...my mom needed my sister and I up here...I knew someday she would need me...and I was right....as much as I wanted to be in florida I had to stay in Ohio....yuk but I had to...mom knew that when all was said and done I would leave..my mom and dad split up when I was 12,  and when he moved away when I was 29 I thought my heart would break all over again...I have always been close to both of my parents but my mom and I had something very special....we fought like cats and dogs one minute and then forgot about it the next..LOL  life is hard hon,  life is soooooo  sad sometimes also....I look at my 2 beautiful babies and thank God everyday for them, and my husband...they keep me going....( I really do not care for the age 7 though )  she thinks she is 17....arrgh  the time has come to be with my dad....I have one parent left and I am spending time with him now...my little sister (my dad's daughter) is very jealous of me...she is 23 going on 3....being his first born we have had a special relationship from the get go and she is livid that I am moving down there...thinking I am going to take her daddy away...she wrote a horrible letter to my other sister about me.. one wrong word out of that little *****'s mouth  my dad gets the letter.....period  I am tired of her **** already....anyway,,there is turmoil I suppose in every family...I am soo glad your back.....i guess I'll go finish watching the rugrats in Paris for the 20th time and spend time with doug on father's day....love you   cin.

[cindi]

I want to wish all the dad's in dad land a happy wonderful father's day......love all of you    cin

[Milo]

You have my sympathy re your sister. My sister and I have fought like cats & dogs all our lives. There were a couple of brief periods when we got along well -- but they never lasted long. Just wanted to say I know where you're coming from & wish you well in dealing w/her--Milo

[cindi]

I just had a brainstorm  LOL     I am female...I am traveling with 2 small kids....frequent rest stops...(all though alec thinks he can pee anywhere  and he can  LOL )   what If the rest areas started installing computers in each rest area..?  of couse with internet access...then I can stop in and say hi anytime we stop....man I can feel the computer withdrawals setting in   12 hours in a car  no forum? :(  ewwwwwwwwww  maybe if I started this fad I could get rich?    LOL

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I had Ameritech out here for four hours today restoring our phone service. They showed up this morning and just started stringing an new phone line "under ground", on Father's Day! I hate to say it, but maybe this was my gift from the phone company. Anyway, I had to laugh at their timing...poor guys!

I like your idea about computer terminals at rest areas, and it's probably coming soon. Hell, we can't possibly live without computers and cell phones, can we? Life is changing that fast even here in the boonies.

As far as the original question about hypertension; I wish that was my only concern at this point. If you were to read about all the side effects of any AD, you would wonder indeed if any of them were intended to be used by anybody other than someone who intentionally wanted to suffer from depression.  Think about it!  J.B.

[Troxy]

Yes, the patch I am talking about is Duragesic.  I am on 25mcg.

[cindi]

hmm  about the Ad....makes us wonder......and cell phones, computers,,,,I can remember what life was like with no microwaves,,,what the heck was a VCR.....we had 3 channels on the TV  that was it so when the president was on  we were screwed....

[Milo]

I remember when cable TV first came to town...boy, do I feel old!

[cindi]

I think you are younger than me so imagine how old I feel..LOL

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I can remember watching Bonanza and Gunsmoke before color T.V.!

We also had a "party line" telephone system in those days. Six other people could and did listen in to everyone's conversations because we were all on the same line. Talk about gossip! Yep, I'm dating myself here, LOL.  J.B.

[cindi]

WOW,,,,I don't remember black and white tv.  maybe I was still little  I was born in 1960....LOL  my neice and nephew had no idea President Reagan was shot...LOL

[cindi]

well, in about 40 hours I will be leaving....it has been 7 years since I have been on a vacation...I am already having anxiety over driving me and the kids through the mountains of w. virginia...take me home country roads was not on my top 10 list LOL  the Blue Ridge mountains are awesome and majestic to look at but not fall off of....last time i drove the mountains I had to pull over and doug had to drive....i freaked....he laughed at me...i was petrified...now it's just me and the kids following my sister to NC and my sister is not going to be much help if i freak...  that's why my dad is coming to NC to get us and take us to Florida  he is kinda still protective ...i need suggestions on how to get through the mountains...kerrie?  lea?  jenny?  angelica?  anyone who lives out this way?    california won't help..LOL  or maybe it will....you guys have mountains out there don't ya?   anyway  I have something to forwar to you guys   JB, and MILO  please send me your emails if you would and I can sedn you something that will really make you feel old...my addy is ***@****    lea, i don't have yours either....I have the rest...ok get ready for the count down   if i get a chance i will get on later and give you the exact hours and seconds  LOL  i'll bet you can't wait....I can feel your excitement...LOL    Love you all   cin

[jennyfla]

Thank you both for your support and for listening to me!
I'm back at work today, with my little one to watch (15-months old and full of fire)!!!
Cindi have a wonderful time down here in Florida.  Lots of T-storms lately, pretty much the norm!  Have fun with your dad and don't let your little sis get you down!
Milo, I'm glad someone understands how i feel about being so far from family, it hurts right down to bone sometimes.  I miss my younger sister so so so very much i can't stand it sometimes.  She's having a house built out in PA (Poconos) and would love for us to move up there too.  What do you do for work is the problem.
Take care both, and i'll try to get back on more soon, i have so much catching up to do in every part of my life.
Lv Jenny

[Milo]

Cindi -- OK, I'll come clean -- I was born in 1963. I don't have any mountain driving tips--sorry--but I'm sure someone will come up with some ideas. You'll have a great vacation, I know.
J.B. -- I remember "Gunsmoke" & "Bonanza" too. I was a real TV kid. When they cancelled "The Beverly Hillbillies," "Green Acres," etc., I remember thinking, oh no, what will I do now? :)
Jennyfla -- You've always got a cyber-ear here, my friend. I 'll probably need your ear soon!

[ssfr]

troxy- i cant explain it, but everytime someone has attempted to ask a legitimate question here about the duragisic patch- someone jumps in, disrupts the thread, and the whole conversation gets off track without anyone ever really addressing the situation- i have seen several questions posted here about the patch- but for what ever reason it never gets past the question phase-  i find that all very, very odd, when supposedly so many folks who post here have such difficulty in either going cold turkey, or weaning off of abusive drug use- the duragesic patch offers the opportunity to stop the mad merry go round with a heck of a lot less discomfort- not only does it help keep the physical symptoms in abeyance, but really goes a long way in helping break the physcological reasons that traps so many folks- it is my hope that this response wont be perceived as being rude to the many well- meaning posters here- but look, after all, troxy asked a legitimate question, and was almost totally ignored (except for cindy)-
troxy- my limited experience is that the patch will be of great help to you- and for anyone else looking for a way out of addiction- it certainly is worth a try- i hope some read this post and take it to heart, and if anyone else has any experience with the patch- can contribute their own results.

[susanlea]

I'm also on the patch, 25mg. I started the patch about 3 months ago for pain, and the fact that I got tired of my former boyfriend stealing my meds. He's an addict. The  only side effect I had was I was alittle neaueous the first few days. About day 6 the patch started working. My pain level is now  usually about a 1 or 2, verses 9 or 10. I find I  have constant relief with the patch. Oxy's and other meds were too slow for me. I can't  help you with the part about it helping with  the withdrawals. I'm sure someone else will respond. Good Luck.....Susan

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I used to get upset, too, when threads got hijacked. But it's never going to stop happening here or anywhere. I think that you hit the nail on the head about not having enough experience with the subject of the original post. Maybe none of us do, so it's hard to make comments or offer help. Just like the real world,eh?  If you like what we have to offer here...stick around awhile and see what happens next!  J.B.

[cindi]

I, like JB used to get upset when this would happen...but I don't think anyone here at least the people that I have had the pleasure of interacting with have or ever would have intentionally ignored someone in need of help...like JB said it probably is the inexperience or lack of knowledge re: a specific subject...sometimes we may even think a question is being directed to Dr. Steve only...I also know that sometimes when I am reading the posts I unintentionally overlook a comment or a person seeking advice etc..just the other day someone posted to me telling me that they left me a post under a different thread and asked that I go and read it...I just overlooked it....please don't be too upset about this subject...there are so many of us....we really do need to stick together  we need to be educated and educate the public about this disease we share, and we need to let other suffering addicts know that they are not alone....all of us,,,if we can share our experience, strength and hope and just help one person that through fate or divine intervention, woven into our lives, even  if it is for just one brief moment or even if it is via the internet then we can rest at night knowing we have touched one life..helped one person and perhaps saved a life.that of a mother's, daughter, father or son....and what a joy that feeling is... I say this only out of caring and concern for all on this board, all of the people that over the past 6 months I have come to know and love and I feel so honored to call my friends....Love to all    CindiFLA  LOL    (HI JENNYFLA)     I think I am at 34 hours to go   LOL

[Gina]

I'm glad your trip was wonderful! I am very close to my parents both emotionally and in proximity. They recently moved within 5 mins. of both my brother and myself. (They used to live 30 mins away) We are both thrilled to have them so close to us. The other side of the coin is they are aware of my addiction to painkillers. My brother began to notice my weightloss and told them that he thought I wasn't looking so good and acting strange so they approached me. I wasn't aware that I was acting strange and thought the weight loss looked good. You know the saying "It's the secret that everybody else knows but you" Here I thought it was my secret. I told them I wanted to try and quit on my own. They bought it and I knew it was a line but planned on getting better at hiding it. Then I got caught at work dipping into the med cabinet and got fired. They realized that I didn't quit and I went to intensive outpatient therapy. I refused to go inpatient. I was clean for about 3 mos and proceeded to go through the exact same thing again. Got caught at the new job etc. I feel bad that I have hurt them so badly. They have been so supportive and caring but they just don't understand and I can't expect them too. I don't have the reasons that others do--I have had a great childhood etc... I am now on methadone since Jan 2001 and I* go to a great clinic in an upscale neighborhood. It is about a 45 min drive but after my dose I am actually free since I don't think about using and feel great. This may be something you might consider. Give your parents a chance by letting them in on your secret, it may not actually be one. Once you tell them you will kind of be forcing yourself to take action to stop abusing. As long as it's a secret you can go along as you wish. You cannot do it alone--I'm sorry but that is a fact. Please take the steps you need to get clean. I tried to cut back to but it is a progressive disease, it only gets worse!!

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I can only wonder how many people lurk here per poster. Hopefully, someone will read something we've said and be immediately helped somehow. Even if it's just a smile for someone who thought they were alone on this planet of infinate complexity. Thanks all of you for being there for me!  J.B.

[Milo]

I lurked (I hate that term!) here for a long time before getting the courage to post. Reading everyone's stories was of great help to me. Now I need your support. Foolishly, stupidly, I have gone through my Fioricet script far too fast, and if the past is any indication, I have about 5 days of intense anxiety, panic attacks, & insomnia to look forward to. I know this is *much* less unpleasant than what many of you have gone through, and I admire your strength, courage, & wisdom. Do you have any to share with me to help me through the days ahead? Blessings, Milo

[cindi]

From the very begining you were there for me,,,you, thomas, Brighty, Annie, and even good ol spook,,,,,you my friend are truly worth every word I type......love to all  cin

[cindi]

I read your post to jenny,,,, I take it you are a nurse?  so am I  got caught "dipping twice,,,loads of trouble the 2nd time around        hope to hear more from you    love to akl cin

[jennyfla]

Thank you for telling your story, i'm sure it's painful for you to think about, and I hope that things remain stable for you.
I think with my distance from my parents, it's a bit easier to hide my addiction from them, but i am sure if i were closeby, it wouldn't be a secret anymore.
I'm not so sure it would be better to tell them, at this point, i don't think i could handle them knowing, i have this terrible guilty conscience, and it would destroy me.
My husband is hooked on methadone and oxys, so methadone is something i would rather stay away from because i know it takes a while to get off of them.  My dose is pretty low, so at this point, i could quit by tapering or going cold turkey and get away with not too much w/d if i do it soon.  The methadone seems like trading one drug for another (for me), although i'm sure it's the best solution for others.  My husband would do well with them if that was all he stuck to, unfortuately, now he is addicted to both, and actually NEEDS the methadone whether he has the oxys or not.
Best of luck to you, and i hope you continue on your road to complete sobriety and wellness.
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

Thank you Milo, and cyber ear here when you need it too.  I get busy at times (with three, no make that four - HA, children, and a full-time job), but i really try to get on-line hopefully at least once a day.  So if i don't respond right away, it won't be long before i do.
Here's my email if you ever need a sure-fire response (***@****), and please, feel free to email me anytime, honest!
Hey, 1962 here for what it's worth, and TV, i'm the queen of tv!!
Take care!
Lv Jenny

[susanlea]

I sent you an e-mail....Susan

[jennyfla]

I swear i think they're all trying to send me 6-feet under!!!!
My husband being the leader of the crew!
He needs far more attention than i am capable of giving him, why can't i have an adult for a husband?  We've been together for 20-years now, and since having children (8 1/2 years ago), things took a turn for the worse.
My mom used to say that she wondered how i would manage once we had kids, and she was right, it's tough!
He wants to be the child, and i just can't do it with having three children (8, 5, and 1), working full-time, taking baby to work with me, and doing EVERYTHING around here!
I can't rely on him for even the simpliest of things these days, he seems to be blackening out somewhat.  Asks the same questions over and over, and doesn't remember things.  It happens mostly while he is drinking.
We had a BIG talk last night about him going back into the big 'R', and he actually agreed.  He said he would call his sister (who offered to help back last xmas), and see what she could do for us.  Well, you guessed it, it all faded once morning came, same ole same ole excuses!
Tonight, he was falling apart as usual, and he just wants more from me than i am capable of giving.  I told him that he should never have gotten married and NEVER have had children (my mom's quote, and she's right).  The kick in the butt is that he really didn't want to get married (15-years ago), and didn't really want kids.  I thought that he would change, and that this was what was best.  I was foolish and i wasn't thinking in the real world.  I love him with all my heart, but he really isn't right for me, i deserve so much more!!!!  I do everything around here, and try to give him love, but it's hard when the person causes so much pain!!!  I don't know what the answer is, i just know it's not an easy thing.
I was able to make it until 2:00 pm today before popping my first 1/2 of a loracet.  I was in the dr's office with my 15 1/2 month old, waiting for the nurse to give her her shots (ouch), and i felt the w/d coming fast.  I was ok with that until i got home, and being around everything just sends me into a whirlwind of numb numb numb as fast as i can!
He started in with the guilt and the control ****, and i feel so trapped that i run for anything that will make it go away!
It's late and everyone is sleeping, i'm exhausted, and just so scared about where my life is leading!  The future looks so dark at times, and i just don't know what's down the road ahead.  I know it's a bumpy road, and i just don't know if i have the strength to continue down it anymore.  
I'm just tired, and i feel so trapped!
Thanks for listening!
Lv Jenny

[susanlea]

Oh Jenny! You're starting to sound like me. I used  to feel like you, even though I wasn't married to Mike I still felt trapped. He was all I knew for almost 6 years. I really loved him and still do, but I couldn't take the verbal abuse, the emotional unavailability. His  constant  need to be taken care  of, but also wanted to be left alone. He didn't want to kiss, or have any closeness with me. He just wanted a bed to sleep, a  TV to watch, and a room to hide in when in withdrawals. But damn! Let me say a thing about my needs or  his  addiction, all hell would break loose.   If  you feel you deserve  better...You  do.  If you feel  like your the  one always  giving  and getting  nothing back...it's  time to take a  look at things.  If you  find yourself  constantly in  a state of anxiety, hyperactiveness and then exhaustion....take a look at things. Love, after awhile has nothing to do with it. It sounds like he's running the quilt thing, remember he could have walked, anytime...you were not making him stay. You don't have that  much control....he's there because that's where he wants to be. Please see a therapist. I go to one who specializes in addictions and their relationships. I know you want to escape the pain. You always tell me...think of the children. Listen to your own advice. It will keep you grounded and focused. I found if I took store brand Ibruprophen and vicodin, (generic)mixed them in the same bottle, I couldn't tell one from another. If you need to take something for the anxiety. Try a food you like. Chocolate, cheese cake, anything...if you can stall that urge, just for 1 hour at a time you'll be ok...talk to me....Susan

[jennyfla]

Hi Susan,
I know, i've related to you so much in your posts, that's why i can understand your pain so well.
I feel we are very much alike, and that's why i reach out to you!  You are lucky, at least you weren't married to him, so it's a little easier, although still very difficult.
A theropist is definately a very good idea!
It's breaking me down so quickly these days, i just don't want to live like this anymore, yet, i can't picture my life without my husband, it's been 20-years together.  When i think about being apart, i feel so much anxiety.  I love chocolate, so you might have something there!
I'm so happy to hear that you are being so strong, it gives me hope!
You sound like such a beautiful, wonderful lady, and i wish you all the best!
I love your saying about feeling free, sitting in the backyard watching your children be happy!
'FREEDOM' What a wonderful word.  But i don't want to get my freedom by loosing my husband to 'death', it would be the end of me, i just know it!  I would feel so much guilt by not having done more!  I feel i am enabling him so much by being here, i can't help but feel i am the reason he isn't falling to the ground forcing him to get help.   I always have the big old safety net stretched out catching every fall, but i'm getting weary from it, i don't know who many more times i can take the fall!  My kids are absolulatey wonderful, beautiful children!  They are picture-perfect, and stand out in any crowd because they are so beautiful.  I want the best for them, and they deserve only that!  It's just so hard, i'm so torn all of the time, i don't know which way to go!
Thanks for listening sweetie!  
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

The post above was to you, itdidn't post the 'TO' for some reason.
Do you have IM?  I log into AOL IM most of the time, so if you have that, look me up at jennyinfla   I'm on most of the day, i'd love to IM because i think we could help support eachother because our 'problems' seem very similar.
Thanks sweetie!
Lv Jenny

[whitedove]

I would love to know how/where you were able to get the patch.  I have been tapering off Lortab for months and have been miserable.

I'm encouraged, yet discouraged by your posting because I can't find anyone to prescribe it.

Where do you live and what type of Dr. do you see?

whitedove
Pam
***@**** - please feel free to send direct

[Troxy]

I live in Augusta, GA.  the patch was prescribed to me by a pain management doc that I have been seeing for almost a year.  You may have a hard time finding a pain management doc, there are not very many here in Augusta.  In fact, there was only one on my insurance plan.  He was not very good.  I had to go outside my insurance plan in order to see this doc. The patch works for me as far as pain and I like not having take any pills.  Good luck to you.

[whitedove]

1st, thank you; but, know it makes me want this patch even more.  Can you help me figure out how I might search for this in my location?  I live Kansas City.

***@****
whitedove

[ssfr]

As far as I can tell- any physician who can prescribe narcotics, i.e. oxycontin, lortabs, vicodin, etc, can legally prescribe the duragesic patch.  The patch also known as fentanyl transdermal system is available in 3 doses- 25 ug/hour, 50 ug/hour, and 100 ug/hour.  Apparently it is some type of snythetic morphine, and the user wears the patch for 3 days (72 hours) before having to change it. Again, the attractiveness of the patch is not only does it offer somewhat effective pain relief, but when used to treat addiction and withdrawal symptoms from long term narcotic use, the fact that it is a slow release delivery system,  means that it not only greatly alleviates withdrawals, but is much easier for the patient to wean themself from the hideous discomfort that withdrawal causes.  I suggest you contact your doctor and let them know that you think this might greatly help you.  I sincerely hope this info will be of some help to you.

[ssfr]

On June 16th troxy asked if anyone was familiar with the duragesic patch.  On June 18th, I inquired as to why the question seemed to me to be largely ignored. The answers offered by posters in this forum indicated that probably lack of experience with the patch would account for that.  Since I am not a regular contributor here, but have read for many months the accounts of individual struggles with both pain and addiction problems, I actually wondered if my comment would elicit the mention of the word "lurker".  I was not disappointed.  On the same day that I wrote my response, not one, but two posters mentioned that word.  Thankfully, at least one of those posters stated that they did "hate" that term.  The fact of the matter is, that I am sure there are many of us, who in our search for answers and solutions to our own lifes problems, read what we can, but do not have a desire to share those problems with the rest of the world.  I for one do not feel I have much to offer in the way of help to others.  This does not mean that I do not hope to find help in my own quite, introspective way.  One gets the sense, that many of the "regulars" here perceive this as their own little private club. When an "outsider" like myself comments- the accusations about being a "lurker" I find almost laughable- (I might add, that I have seen this term used in a derogatory fashion a number of times in the last few months- so I am not referring specifically to its use in this particular thread).  
My whole point here is not to be critical per se, although I am sure that some will perceive this to be critical, my point is rather to just to let you "regulars"  understand that indeed many folks are reading these postings-  some are benefiting perhaps, and maybe some are not- but this forum does not belong to you exclusively- I do not think that Med Help inserted a clause that stated that you must write regularly about your own particular life, discomforts, trips and domestic problems to benefit or belong here- "lurkers"?? no- I would say there is a silent majority here- ok?-
By the way troxy- I have questioned several doctors and also friends of mine who are pharmacists about the patch- from what I have been told, the duragesic patch is not only used to reduce moderate to severe pain, but is also used to wean folks from narcotic addiction- it does reduce withdrawal symptoms to manageable levels sans pills like loratab etc, but of course there is still some uncomfortability associated with detoxing off the patch, but it seems that it is much easier detoxing from the patch than it is from the various pain meds mentioned here.  Any pain specialist can and probably will prescribe that to you- please note that one of the attractive things about the duragesic patch is that THERE IS NO HIGH, BUZZ OR GOOD FEELING associated with it- which is one thing that makes it so attractive in becoming free from the "dragon".  I sincerely hope that this information will help you troxy, or one of the regulars here, or even one of the dreaded "lurkers".
God bless us each and every one

[MarkS]

Hi.  I'm new to this forum.  I am a heroin addict (moved up, or down, the scale from prescription opiates) and have a question.  I am currently trying to detox through a methadone clinic.

But the clinic staff are putting an unbelievable amount of pressure on me to be on methadone maintenance.  They are relentless in their efforts to convince me that I can not succeed.

The most recent issue is that they want me to slow down my detox.  I have asked them to reduce me by 2mg per day (I started at the clinic about two weeks ago and went up to a dose of 45 mg. per day).

I feel that the quicker I get the methadone out of my system, the better off I'll be in the long run.  I don't want a drawn out taper of a milligram a week or so, which is what they are suggesting.  I want to get off of all drugs.

My history is that I have been an abuser on & off for many years.  I have had up to 4 years clean; most recently I've been using for about 6 months after a period of about 6 months clean.  I think I am at a point in my life where I can succeed this time.  I'm attending NA meetings and am also enrolled in an outpatient program which I attend 3 evenings per week.  I am also using acupuncture treatment to help with any withdrawal symptoms I have- so far there have been none.

Basically, I would just like some support for what I'm trying to do since I get beat up every morning when I go for my medication by the doctor, the counselors, even the nurse who dispenses the methadone.  I don't feel that a 2 mg reduction every day is too fast for me.

Dr. Steve, am I way off base here?  I've seen your posts and value your opinion.

Thanks.

-MarkS

[Thomas]

forget hearing from Dr Steve. He only answers the questions posted at the top of the thread. But why are you in such a hurry? What makes you think a slow taper is going to be bad for you? Even if you could "handle" a faster taper, what does that buy you? My guess is it buys you a relapse, friend. I don't know methadone, but I've been a narcotics addict for 30 years. Relax. Slow down. Stop putting pressure on your docs and yourself to do this faster. Go to your meetngs. Think of what a huge waste it will all be if, in your haste, you do relapse? R-E-L-A-X.

Thomas

[jennyfla]

Hi MarkS,
My husband went into detox/rehab for 28-days back 2.5 years ago, he was addicted to oxys and heroin at the time, and they put him on methadone for about 8 days or so, not really sure of exact amount of days, but something like that.
He was completely off all meds except antidepressants and antianxiety meds, and he didn't crave opiates at all, while there.
But man oh man, once he left, he was in bad shape almost immediately.  He didn't even know how to walk or talk anymore, but was doing wonderfully there.
That is fantastic that you are going to meetings, and really want to stop using everything as quick as possible!!!!  Sounds like you are really ready for this!!!
I don't know if it might just be an easier adjustment if you take it a little slower, is probably what they are thinking!  Just not sure!
Good luck to you, but i wanted you to know that it can be done, my husband did it without feeling the w/d after that time period, but he did relaspe, so i'm not sure if slower would have been better.  Good luck to you!
Jenny

[susanlea]

Hey Guy's! I haven't been around the last week, had a bad case of some summer virus. I see there's a few new names here, been reading some of the posts, trying to catch up. Quick question, a friends wife called me a few days ago, said my ex had called her husband asking for oxy's. He said no. Anyways I also heard he's now taking both methadone and oxy's. I don't understand? Two weeks ago my ex came by and told me he was down to 5mg aday of methadone, that he would be off everything in amonth. What I don't understand is, I though methadone took away the narcotic cravings? So why would he want to take oxy's also? I really thought he was getting clean, he lied to me once again. I haven't heard from him since, my kids and I drove by him last week, he acted like he didn't see us. He was no where near his neighborhood. Also he never called my kids on father's day to thank them for his card. Guess he really wants nothing from us anymore.  Thanks.....Susan

[Thomas]

Does your ex have a chronic pain condition? If so, they often give methadone to handle the addiction and give chronic pain patients a "short-acting" narcotic like Vicodin or, if something stronger is needed, OxyContin, which has oxycodone in it -- the same narcotic as percodan. OxyContin, taken properly functions as a time-release painkiller and is really quite effective for serious pain. The problem with Oxy is that it can be chewed or even snorted and really makes you feel marvelous, a real "high high." Consequently, it can be psychologically very addictive. Some people go on Oxy and go into their own internal worlds, shutting out the outside world and living for that wonderful "Oxy high." That could be what's going on with your ex. Seeing you and the kids remind him of all those mundane/stressful everyday responsibilities as a man, father and husband, when all he wants is to "float" on his Oxy cloud and escape reality.

He may resent you for reminding him of the "real" world he's shutting out with the Oxy. Of course, if he doesn't have chronic pain, but only an addiction problem to deal with, then I don't know why he'd be getting both Methadone and Oxy, unless one doctor doesn't know what the other is doing. You'd know more about that than I would. But the Oxy is powerfully addictive from both a physical and especially psychological perspective. I've used Oxy, chewing them for instant effect, even smashing them up and snorting them in lines like they were coke. When you're on Oxy like that, it really is something like being on heroin. Really quite euphoric as drugs go. Taken at the right dosage, the methadone should not be causing euphoria. But that's probably where the Oxy comes into the picture.

Now, many chronic pain patients take OxyContin responsibly and get life-saving relief from it. But it's being increasingly abused and many pain patients are worried it will be outlawed. Even if that happens, methadone in pill form at the right dosage, or the fentenyl patch (quite expensive), are both at least as good at killing serious pain as Oxy. You'll have to tell me more about your ex's pain profile before I can hazard a guess about what's happening with him.

Peace and healing to you, lea,

Your friend anytime you need someone,

Thomas

[susanlea]

No, he has no such pain. You and I have talked before of my ex's addiction. 2 years of over 200mg's of oxy's aday, with at least 5 or 6 perc's 650's and anything else, dilauded, morphine....Went inhouse detox alittle over a year ago for 5 days, relapsed 2 weeks later. He loves to chew that pill. Stole all my pain meds, lied, got them off the street anything! He was so verbally abusive, mean, withdrawn, distant. It was killing my kids and me. He left over 3 months ago. Calls once in awhile, comes by. He swears he's down to 5mg's of methadone aday now. He says he can do this himself. No sponser, no program, no rehab. He's living with his mom and dad. He's 38, 4 kids, and I watched him want to die, so many times during withdrawals. Lost altogether 4 months of work last year. He's close to being fired. I was beginning to think that maybe he was really trying, but now that I know he's getting both the drugs. From the same Dr. who knows he's an addict! The nurses there tell me that the Dr. will give anyone anything. They call him the pill pusher. We nolonger have a relationship with him, he choose to leave us, he couldn't take it all anymore.  I know it's just a matter of time before he's cut off. There have been sooooo many drug busts here over narcotics, that all the pharmacists are freaking out and reporting anything suspicious. Thanks Thomas.....love Susan Lea

[jennyfla]

The way you describe the 'oxy high' is right on the button.
I have seen my husband in his oxy dream state, where nothing in life matters expect the high, and when he is down in dosage, look out!!!!!  He will do anything to get back that feeling and fight off the ugly w/d.
I use oxy's, but not nearly as much of a dose as he, but still not good at all.
I have used herion before, years ago, and you are right, oxy's are very close to the herion buzz feeling.  As close as you can get in fact!!!

I wonder whether the oxy's put you in a worse closed-out brain world than do vics or loracets?  Do you happen to know?
Are oxys the worst of the worst for absoluate brain closure?
Just wondering because i feel my husband is so far into his own little world that nothing else matters anymore.
I don't want to get to the that point, and fear it every day, because i don't what to miss out on all the things i see he is missing out on... for instance, our wonderful children!
Thanks!
Lv Jenny

[Thomas]

Hello, my good friend, lea,
Yes, I know we've spoken many times about your ex, but the benzos I'm on have a side effect of temporary amnesia (no kidding). I would compare the effect to chronic pot smoking where everything is just on the tip of your tongue but you can't quite recall it ...  so I asked you about him again ... I didn't want you to think I forgot about you or that you weren't important to me.


Your bud,

Thomas

[Thomas]

snorted or chewed, the oxy's are an order of magnitude more euphoric than hydro in the lorcets. The only time I had as sweet a time on hydro was when I had access for a couple years access to a wonderful, wonderful elixer of life called Tussionex. Hydrocodone suspended in a true 12-hour steady release resin complex. You drink the whole bottle and lie back and it's almost like being on a morphine drip -- you get this wonderful, gentle hydrocodone jolt almost continuously. It's the best high I've ever had -- even counting the oxy(!). If you can ever convince a doc you've got this intractible dry cough that nothing else will help with, get some Tussionex. If I so much as recall it's golden color and curiously great taste, I get a sense-memory high. It was WONDERFUL... OH WELL. THOSE DAYS ARE GONE, I GUESS. Going to see my step-grandson (I'm not that old) tonight in a highschool musical (Grease). I'll be back later if you feel like continuing our talk.

Jennyfla's faithful friend,

Thomas

[Angelica]

I know your question was directed to Thomas, but I have been meaning to ask you something.  Does your husband(..and Iknow you've probably mentioned this, but?)chew, crush,snort or shoot them up???  Cause I swollow the whole thing, and I have yet to feel a buz.  I do feel a little queezy at times, but I felt that more so when just starting to take the Vicodin es. a while back.  I know some people start taking them whole...when they are trying to wean themselves off, and then they cut down or back rather.  I was just curious about this.  It seems as though he just doesnt want to stop, and he may need to hit rock bottom first......but sometimes this can take  the whole family down.  I feel for you, I really do.  Take care!
Angelica

[jennyfla]

Hi sweetie, thanks for the insite.  He shoots the oxys, and can do enough to kill an elephant if you ask me, scarey!
He od once right in the beginnings of his usage with herion.  I had to call 911 to revive him, it was the scariest thing i ever experienced in my life.  Both our kids were onlookers too! :(
The thing about rock bottom is i'm always standing there with this big old security net so he won't fall too hard.  It's killing me in the process because i'm getting hurt by all this.  That is my biggest fear, he is gonna take us all down with him, it tears me up inside when i think about it.
Oxy's make me sick too, i crush them.  It's crazy to think i still do them, even with getting sick!  :(
Thank you for your post, take care!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

Well i will definately NOT tell my husband about that drug, although i'm sure he is familiar with it!  He seems to know a lot about drugs, one of his favorite hobbies.  Actually, his only hobby these days.  What happened to fishing, playing guitar, and all the other things he used to love to do!  It's sucks to be an addict, it just robs everything from your life! :(
Thank you for your insite, and you take care of yourself.
Lv Jenny

[cindi]

hi chickie chicks....addiction does suck...it does does rob us of everything  and I say everyday.......someday we will all be ok,,,I love you all   cin

[jennyfla]

Thank you sweetie.
Even on vacation, you are here rooting for us, gotta love ya!!!!
Tonight has been the 'night from hell' and your post made me smile.
Enjoy all that fresh air and sunshine!':)
Love ya, Jenny

[ssfr]

hi- i got your email message- but i wondered if you were getting my messages to you- it occured to me that since you said the last message you got from me was blank in the text, that maybe someone was deleting my messages to you- i sent you several messages but havent heard back from you since the one you sent right after you got back home- anyway- just in case you havent seen my last messages- let me say again congratulations to you-  it seems you have finally beaten that ole demon- let me know how it is going- i know that you will be stay the true course- again congrats!!

ssfr- from the hills

[Angelica]

...I'm trying to catch up.  I've been having hubby problems of my own....too.  I just have one question...(re: the above post)  Where are you getting them from???  I know you've probably said where....but I can't go back and read...No time.  Sometimes cutting off the supply...is the best way, and making sure you have enough to taper down.  I'm already trying to do this.  This stuff grabs ahold of you and doesn't let go....and Im not considered to be a typical addict, and I --even have a problem w/ this.  The withdrawals are sooo strong compared to other meds... Vics are sweet tarts compared to this.  I'll try to be here a little more these days, so talk to me anytime.
Love: Angelica

[jennyfla]

Hi sweetie.
I get them from a dr, who is nuts for prescribing them to me in the first place.  she's just a money-hungry dr.
My husband is in rehab right now, so i've got to clean up too, there isn't a choice.  I drove him there, and made him go (but he wanted to go to), and i'm only be a hypocriete by continuing to use.
I respect your strength, being in such pain as you are, bless your heart.
I'm feeling ok, and i'm really ready to make this change!
:)
Lv Jenny

[Angelica]

...I'll say a little prayer for you: asking God to send you supernatural strength during this time.... ya know ask and you shall recieve.  Meditate on this, and don't let go....psyche yourself out.  Take control of your life.  You can do it!  Do you remember the regimen W/ the L-tyronsine and B6???  Ya need to do that too. Keep us updated.  We're here for you....I know it's tough.  God Bless!
Angelica

[Angelica]

THIS TOO SHALL PASS
*If I can endure for this minute Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is Or how dark the moment may be-
*If I can remain calm and quiet With all the world crashing about me, Secure in the knowledge God loves me When everyone else seems to doubt me-
*If I can but keep on believing What I know in my heart to be true, That darkness will fade with the morning And that this will pass away, too- Then nothing in life can defeat me
*For as long as this knowledge remains I can suffer WHATEVER is happening For I know God will break all of the chainsThat are binding me tight in the darkness And trying to fill me with fear-
*For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near  (:

This is something I read when I need to draw strength.  I am posting it for you.....  Hope it helps.

Angelica <><

[jennyfla]

You're a sweetheart, and i really needed that right now! :)
I'm going through a tough time, to say the least, but when is it not 'tough'!
I'm looking forward to the day for the sun to come out, and for the darkness to fade!
My time is soon, it's just going to take some real strength to get there!
Take care and thank you sweetie!
Lv Jenny

[LLLLLL]

SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME HERE. I AM REALLY CONFUSED AND WOULD LOVE SOME INPUT. I HAVE BEEN SEEING A PAIN MANG DOC FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS AND HAVE BEEN TAKING LORTAB SINCE. ABOUT A MONTH AGO I WAS ALSO PERSCRIBED LORTAB FROM MY DENTIST. WELL, MY DENTIST IS A FRIEND OF MY EMPLOYER AND HE CALLED MY EMPLOYER AND TOLD HIM WHAT MEDICATIONS I WAS TAKING. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIPPA? SO, I WENT TO MY DOC APPT. AND MY DOCTOR QUESTIONED THE LORTAB THAT WAS PRISCRIBED (prescribed) BY MY DENTIST. LONG STORY SHORT HE PUT ME ON SUBOXIN AND PUSHED ME OUT THE DOOR. HE DID NOT EXPLAIN HOW OR WHEN TO EVEN TAKE THE MEDICATION.

[Carebear215]

I had something similar happen once my doc was giving me lortab's and my dentist gave me the same thing. Well I happen to have an appt with my doctor the next day. I had the script filled from the dentist but took it with me to the doctor and told him about it, asked him if he wanted me to turn them over to him since I signed something when I became his patient that I would not get narcotics anywhere else.
Some doctors have no tolerance for this and some will give you one warning.
I had another time before this that my family doc gave me darvocet well I didn't realize darvocet was a narcotic and I had it filled , took it, went about my life. My doctors office called and said we did a check on your perceptions and saw you had darovcet and you cannot get any narotic from another doctor while under this ones' care you signed a contract.
I told them I had most of them left and could bring them in to him they said they would let it slid this time but not to do it again to check with them first.
Where are you located?
Its sad your doctor didn't even give you a chance to explain I mean most dentist don't give you many lortabs to begin with to deal with the pain , 30 at the  most, then some want to just give you the 5's.
Do you have another doctor to see?
What kind of pain are you in? Sorry for so many questions.
Let me know how you are doing

[Jacqui805]

I am currently coming off of the fentanyl or Duragesic patch after having been on 200mcg for 4 yrs.  I have been tapered down each month at 25mcg a time.  I started having withdrawl from 75mcg to 50mcg, and it became severe at 50mcg to 25mcg.  I have been on nothing for 9 days and am in living hell.  I'm not vomiting or having diarrhea anymore, but I have severe nausea, sneezing, really severe muscular pains in my back (that are different than the pains I took the meds. for), and severe insomnia and restlessness/anxiety.  Those two symptoms are the worst right now and I have been trying to find a source to tell me how much longer I'm gonna be feeling like this.  Most sources say a total of 14 days, and I am one strong-*** woman, so since I have hope, I think I'll make it.  I'm concerned and exhausted though because I haven't slept in one whole week, for real.  I have tried over the counter NSAIDs and aspirin for the pain, and have tried over the counter sleep aids, and nothing has worked so far.  I am pretty well dehydrated and am starving but can't eat.  I'm lucky however, in that I just became dependant, and am not addicted.  I have no desire to use the medication for any other purpose than what was intended.  Unfortunately I may even be placed back on something at some point in the future.  I do feel strongly however, because I literally suffer from pain everyday, which is different than just having pain, that being on something to get some quality of life back is worth anything, even the mess I'm in now, than to stay suffering and not living my life.  This withdrawl is tough, and I'm literally spending every exhausting moment of every day just trying to get through each minute, and staring at the clock and getting through the next minutes.  It's lonely being up at night and tired and hungry and not being able to sleep, and most days, not being able to even sit still for a moment.  Try that one on for size.  But, I know, that all things must pass, and so this will too....I think.

[Jacqui805]

Please read my comments
"TO:  Whoever wrote about being on the fentanyl/Duragesic patch."  Troxy read it for you, everyone else too.  But please read it for me if you can help me as well.