Addicted to vicodin for over 10 years

[meg2869]

I have been addicted to Vic's for well over 10 years I am or was up to 10/660 mg 10 at least per day I am truly struggling  with this I so know I need to quit and I want to quit but damn to be honest it is so hard.  I am at a point I. My life where I have just about lost everything and if it wasn't for my daughters I probably wouldn't even stop.  I work full time in the medical field support 3 daughters and a granddaughter. I have been Vic free for almost a week until my boyfriend gave me some yesterday just had a few norcos and really would love to find some but with the help of neurotins I have made it to another day.  I just really would like to know how long before this endless hopeless feeling goes away?  

[meg2869]

Gd morning I slept great and up and at work. Thank you for prayers thru the night they def did help.  I feel pretty Gd today and haven't even had to take a neurotin I don't want to trade on addiction for another.  I was wondering if anybody has had issues with sinus during withdrawls?  My left ear is plugged and has a sensation that there is water in there went to dr and be said the ear drum is yellow and a constant fluid level at 60% also lt eye is cloudy vision is horrible lately is this a possible side effect from long term use and will it ever get better

[knaankj]

it sure sounds like your mind is in a great place right now and i am so happy for you that you are thinking so clearly and positively!!
congrats on getting healthy and making better choices for yourself!
i am surely encouraged by your post tonight and wanted to thank you for sharing your story and your heart with others! it really speaks to me that this journey of recovery is possible!
i am very excited to hear about your progress as you continue getting your life back to where you want it......and DESERVE it!!
i hope you get a good nights rest and that tomorrow is a great day for you!
Paige

[meg2869]

Thank you every one for your comments I have been doing a lot of thinking and know that in order for me to fully recover I need to be healthy in mind body and spirit.  I have decides to seek counseling I tend to be drawn to addictive controing personalities and need to figure out why before I can heal.  It just seems weird that the only way to feel normal is when I am using and I hate it.  I had great day with my mom and daughters at at church function which was extreme exhausting but very rewarding at the same time.  I know I Don't have an easy road ahead of me and can only take it min by min not day by day I just hope to eventually return to the mom my famy deserves.  Any prayers sent my way would so be greatly appreciated thank you for your concern and comments

[OpenMind24hours]

That hopeless feeling does have an end to it Meg. It can end by you being clean, serene, and having your life back to normal, or it can end in jails, institutions or death. That ending choice is something that most of us have taken a good look at on this site. The last choice is and ugly spector. Addiction is a very cunning 3-fold disease. Mental, spiritual and physical. Withdrawal is the physical part, but recovering from the other two will take some work on your part. You'll need to play an active part in your own recovery.

You got some good advice above about cutting off your sources. You must be honest with your BF and yourself. You've got to make a commitment to yourself that you finally want out of the squirrel cage. Half measures availed us nothing. It's all or nothing but a sad ending for you and the people in your life who love you. You'll need to go thru withdrawal, but that's just the beginning.  Staying clean is a daily process. For me, aftercare is the only solution that works. I go to NA. I found I had to change my entire thinking. They have a great program that does just that. I just wrote to another new person on here and I'll share it with you Meg: "The ultimate weapon for our recovery is the recovering addict. " It's good that you posted, you've actually started that process by asking for help from us on here. Stay on here, keep posting, find a suitable aftercare program, like NA, and above all take part in your own recovery. Turn down all offers for a quick pill fix from your BF. Be proactive about it. Your life depends on it.

Congratulations on your choice to finally put this addiction behind you. I'm pulling for you Meg and you'll be in my prayers tonight as I thank the God of my understanding for giving me another day clean.

[holly1977]

I, too, am on day 7 of coming out of a long term vicodin use. Its hard. One second I feel on top of the world and that i have conquered the worst part of my addiction and the next second I feel depressed. However, the good feelings are lasting longer each day. Figure out your triggers and have a plan to fight them. Stress is a huge trigger for me. I have to constantly be present in the moment when I get triggered because I naturally want to reach for a vic. After a fight with my daughter, I had such bad anxiety I was shaking for hours and my mind just kept telling me to take a pill. Its easy to say just one wont hurt to make me feel better but we all know that is sooo not true. When i decided to detox i wrote down every reason why being clean is so important to me. If i feel like popping a pill, I reflect on all those reasons. As everyone on here says, it will get better. It also helped me to resesrch the reasons why I feel the way I do. The physiological reasons. If i take another pill, it will set me my healing  backwards. I wish u well. U have 3 very great reasons to stay clean plus you have made it through the first week!

[TiredinTempe]

Got the right Meg now. Read all the posts that is. Darn auto correct..lol

[TiredinTempe]

We get stronger day by day. Cut your sources with the bf and tell him not to give u anything. It is ok to have a slip up just get back on quickly. Rad all the posts on ur down time....and post asking for help. These fine folks can walk u thru the withdrawals. But we can't keep the pills outta ur mouth. You can do this too! Day 2 for me and I feel good. I am so done with those Percs.