Addiction - how do I stop

[69fragile]

Okay...I found this site today and some of the things I have read fit me to a t.

I feel that I am addicted to a pain killerknown as Mersyndol, it is codeine based. I find that a packet of 20 only lasts a day and a half at the most and I find myself planning which chemist I can go to where they may not recognise me. I know that they are doing me harm, I have been having terrible stomach pains but I can't bring myself to stop.

I have been diagnsoed as suffering from depression, however I have a very controlling partner who will not allow me to take the medication prescribed to me, so I find I need to take other things to calm me down, help me feel I can cope or help me to sleep...only of course I have to take bigger doses to get any effect.

Guess that's an addiction...

My question is I don't know what to do from here. I know I have a problem but I am too ashamed to tell my family. My dr has a very business like manner and I wouldn't feel comfortable going to him. Is it best just to try to stop taking them on my own, and if I do what might I experience?

Sorry if this is a long winded post I just don't know what to do with myself, hoping someone can give me some useful ideas...

[kim715]

Welcome to the community.I don't know what Mersyndol is.What medication are you prescribed for your depression and why in the world is it that your partner will not 'allow' you to take it?

[bluespence]

Sorry you are going through this, you found the right place. First off, if you need to be on an anti-depressant and your partner won't allow it, you might want to reevaluate that relationship. Why wouldn't the person who cares about you want you to be happy and healthy. There is nothing wrong with taking an anti-depressant (especially if you get off your DOC). Many people take them and if they help, then why not. I have been on them for years and they do the trick.

But as far as getting off your DOC, I don't know anything about what you are taking but when people come off of narcotics they usually have flu like symptoms. Cold chills, sweats, restlessness, trouble sleeping things like this...I would try to talk to a Dr, even if it is a new Dr so you can get their advice. Good luck!!

[theeagle]

Those are less than 10mg of codeine phosphate per tab - that means it takes three of them to equal a tylenol #3 - -  that doesnt lessen the fact that you have an addiction to them -  but it does help a whole lot in the quiting process. What I would suggest that you do from here is some studying. Look at the lwr rt hand side of the page - find the Health Pages - then find the Thomas Recipe and the Amino Acid Protocol...... Read those and think about them. There is also a whole lot of other good information on those pages - some of the other material will tell you what it may be like and what to expect. Its really pretty normal for people with depression to be attracted to the AD properties of the narc's. Keep posting here for support and with any questions that you may have. You are not in as bad a shape as many that show up here with major league hydro/oxy/smack type problems. You will need to decide whether to taper down or stop cold turkey - I would stop cold turkey, but we are all different. You know yourself best. Many recommend making a plan and committing it to paper - then follow and stick to that plan..... You should get plenty of response to your post - and you are quite welcome to PM me anytime that you might wish ..... good luck in whichever path you decide on taking .........

[TysonRed]

Well you could try and find an alternative doctor that specializes in addiction, if you dont feel comfortable talking with your current doctor. Although if hes the one prescribing the medication to you Im sure he has a good idea that you are dependent upon it. Now as far as your partner not allowing you take an anti-depressant that is just ridiculous regardless of his reasons. So many people take opiates and other addictive substances to cope with depression, anxiety, stress and a host of other reasons. From what Ive heard sometimes you have to try a few if not quite a few different anti-depressants until you find one that works for you. I myself have tried a few but never gave them enough time to see if it would actually help or not. So like eagle said your two basic options are tapering your dose down, which you should do with a doctor, that way you can set a schedule and he can start cutting your script down. The other way would be to go cold turkey, most people find this way more frightening but its the quickest way to get through the physical part of w/d's. The w/d's may or may not be more intense then they would be had you tapered but alot of people find it hard to stick to a taper, especially when the doses start to get considerable lower. Ive quit oxycontin both ways and if I had to do it again I would go cold turkey everytime because alot of the time when tapering I felt pretty crumby during the process, as to when I went cold turkey I had about 10days of severe w/d but after that it mostly mental. Now when it came to methadone I always tapered because I could not stand the feeling of going c/t but many have done it. Its a personal choice to what you think fits your situation the best. When you do start tapering or c/t you really should look into the thomas recipe and amino acids like eagle said, they can really help your energy and mood. Betweent the both of them they pretty much cover everything that can aid you through detox. Now Im not familiar with your drug but if its comparable to t #3 the physical symptoms really should only last about a week, maybe less, maybe more, but from what Ive heard its not that bad as far as w/d's go. It really bugs me that your partner doesnt mind you taking Mersyndol, but has a problem with you taking something that could potentially relieve your depression. I also knows how it feels when your hiding your addiction from family and friends, but when I finally did confess that I had a problem I was relieved to hear that all they did was want to get me help. Most people realize that addiction can strike anyone and I mean anyone, it could be a 12yr old kid or an 80yr old grandma, rich, poor, tall, short, it doesnt matter, this disease doesnt discriminate. So in the end I would atleast try talking with your current doctor about your intentions of quitting, I would imagine that he'd be more than willing to help you out. Whatever happens you've found a wonderful place to come and gain some support or just vent when your feeling frustrated. This site has been absolutely vital in my recovery, Ive learned so much and met so many people who share alot of the same problems. Its time for you to start worrying about yourself, dont worry about what others think, keep your mind focused on the fact that you want to get clean. Stay positive and determined and you can beat this addiction, just make sure once you get through the w/d's that you seek some aftercare because its so important in our efforts to remain clean. Sorry for rambling on, I wish you all the best, take care.