Addiction Suboxon Mental

I have been on and off opiates since December 2005. I was being treated for discs in my back that were slipped, arthritis in my hips and knees and also for a reoccuring abdominal infection from my sons c-section that lasted 18months. I have plantar fasciitus in both feet and just had surgery in July. I started suboxone in feb of 2007. I have been on and off due to the extreme pain that i am going thru. Im so lost and confused. I still have so many issues with my feet and see a podiatrist every single week to clean and rebandage my foot because i still have 3 open wounds that are healing. I take the pain meds when im in pain and when i run out i go back on the suboxon so i will not be sick. I guess my question is how do i stop this vicious cycle and stay on the suboxone or just not take anything at all? also, am i considered clean if im on suboxon? I cant lie and say the suboxon doesnt make me feel better, even withdrawl (withdrawal) aside. Mood wise. I have severe depression and anxiety disorder waaaaaaaay before any of this ever started. Its so confusing to me because ive had so many medical problems in the past like ovarian cysts that were exscruciating (sp) but never took anything but motrin. So how did i let it get this far? I just dont know what im supposed to do at this point. Do i take the pain meds when im in pain? Ive always been prescribed my meds and i know thats something an addict would say. But are you and addict if you take more then prescribed to get rid of the pain? Are you an addict if when you take it you like the feeling (not high but happy) of better or normal like the suboxone does? I know they use suboxone in other countries for depression and mood and they are doin studies about opiates and suboxone for that use here in the us but is that just the addiction part making reasoning for taking it? The doctor said if it helps my mood why come off of it? but then again i couldve said the same thing about the pain meds if i ever stopped being in pain n kept taking them. Im not making any excuses for using/taking anything im just so confused and worried and dont know what to do. I do need something for pain but even when im prescribed it its not enough for me because of how much i used to take so i always run out then get sick, (we all know that road) and i dont know if not being in pain for a lil while is worth all the hell this is bringing into my life. any thoughts will help so much. im just so confused...........

[Some_life1976]

wow hun its sounds like you have been through alot of pain for a long time you poor thing. when you say "when i run out of pills i thak the sub" are you running out because the doc wont give you more or you take a little more then you should? i am not judgeing we have all been there hun. is it the same doc giveing you pain meds and the sub? it really doesnt make sence to start sub then go back to pills is it because the pain gets worse? i dont know what to say if i were you i would try to stay on the sub and tapper down how long have you been useing the sub and at what mg?

[Dknd4v]

been on/off sub since feb 2007 at 24mg daily. They say it can be used for pain but idk if i see a differnce. I take the pain meds only when i cant take the pain anymore but then i have to wait for sub to wear off and say to myself if im gona have to wait anyway i might as well not take the pain meds n just deal with the pain anyway. i take more then prescribed. the sub doctor said when i need to take the pain meds its not a relapse he considers it a "lapse in therapy" but then i feel like hes just giving me an exscuse to take them. so i dont know if thats helpin or hurting me in the long run.

[salsinator]

Hi Dknd - I believe that we have talked before.  You are asking a number of questions in your post - I'm not sure that I can answer or advise you on all of them, but the question you asked a number of times is "are you an addict".  This is something that only you can answer - typically Suboxone is only prescribed for addiction to opiates, so that should direct you towards your answer.  You appear to have had many medical issued over the past several years, but you always seem to fall back on Suboxone when the pain meds are gone.  Have you ever considered seeing a pain specialist?  In your case, I would talk with your doctor about a plan to get off the pain meds once you heal, including the suboxone.  There are differences in opinion on considering yourself clean while on suboxone.  I took it for almost 4 years and did not consider myself clean until I was completely off everything, including suboxone and alcohol.  As for the pain, I have met several people on this site that were taking lots of pain meds long after their medical condition was healed, but they still had pain.  Once they detoxed and got completely off the pain meds, they found that the pain they thought they were having was either gone or much less than they originally thought.  You will never know until you reach that point.

Also, from experience, 24mg of suboxone is a very high dose.  While it does have some pain releaving properties, I also found that it caused extreme daytime sleepyness and it also caused some anxiety.  You may find that you can take a much lower dose and still feel good - typically the daily dose is 4-8mg once stabilized.  Have a serious talk with your doctor, make some plans, and keep posting.  Best of luck.

[Some_life1976]

well like you said why take the pills if you have to wait for the sub to ware off?  i would talk to your doc about a slow tapper off the sub and if you can wait for the sub th ware off to take pain meds you more then likly dont need them not to say your not in pain but if you can deal with it or use the sub and maybe a diff pain med wo opiates you may want to give it a try. best of luck keep posting

[Dknd4v]

thank you so much for your responses. in regaurd to the addiction thing some of it is a mental need to occupy myself having been soooo used to takin something round the clock, that i do work on in therapy. as far as being off everything all at once.. i have been several times and then something always happens and its not like ok i hurt my elbow stubbed my toe kinda thing lol (i wish) like a massive infection in my foot or surgery wich i have tried only motrin tylenol naproxen celebrex u name it and that type of pain i can not get managed by those types of drugs wich i honestly can say ive tried my hardest to do. does the pain relief of the suboxone increase wit the dose or is it the pain will be controlled the same amount it would be at 8 that it is at 24? that im unclear of because it isnt very much used in the usa for that.

[Some_life1976]

not sure about the pain control with the sub maybe run it by your doc i am not sure but the higher dose sub your on the harder and longer it will be to tapper off ,

[Dknd4v]

a while after posting that i came off of suboxone and back on to pain meds because i went thru 4 more foot surgeries have the fybromyalgia RA and OA, had fractured my leg and lost use of my hands n arms after a chiropractic procedure. I am currently being treated and confirming a diagnosis of non-hodgkins lymphoma wit an upcoming byopsy. I am just now able to use my fingers (barely) to type very slow, (which lead me right back here as soon as i was able enough....thank god!  Cuz this site has always been wonderful!) but I manage my simple everyday tasks only wit the amazing help of my husband. I am currently awaiting surgery next  week on my foot AGAIN and I am dying for advice about my best option after surgery to never take these pills again. Do i stay on them wit help from my husband in controlling dosage? Do i wean? cold turkey? use an alternative like suboxone or methadone? I am so confused how to let go of and stop taking a medicine i am told everyday of my life by several different specialists and doctors that i will always need.