Addiction to oxy.

[lilyan]

Yes I am 24 years old with a college education and I teach Middle school.  However Me an my soon to be husband are addidict to oxy.  HE has to have them because he has serious chronic back problems and gets them from the doctor a very respectted doctor.  However we like them alot.  I cannot go on when I have one I am on top of the world but if I don't everthing is useless.  I know I am better than this.  The problem is some people run out of funds and caanot go on . This is not our problem we have tons of money an access to money.  I would say if we do not have any from his perscripition we spend about 1500.00 per week on this. I need help now! Right now I feel Like just giving up.  I would like to go get help but my family would die. I am about to the point were I dont care. Plaese contact me and let me know what I can do.

[diso]

Hello and welcome to the forum.  There is a wealth of information here for people looking to get off pain pills.  I recommend you read through the posts.  While many posts don't necessarily concern the physical process of detoxing, you will find that many if not most of us here have struggled with the same mental battles that accompany detoxing.

I was also addicted to oxys.  At my peak, I was using about 200mg a day (snorting it all up my nose).  I had a script as well but would blow through it in about 10-14 days and then buy the rest of the street.  I was spending about $2k a month.  The last couple of months that I used I was so sick of the pills.  I honestly didn't use them any more to get high.  I just used them to get by.  I took my last opiate 25 days ago.  I am FINALLY starting to really feel good.  It has been a long, hard battle but now that the withdrawal symptoms are almost gone, I feel so good.  It is so worth it.  

I also had severe back pain.  It definitely has returned since I quit using.  However, I am doing a lot of stretching and exercises to help out my back.  Each day it is getting better.  The pain that I have is bad but not unbearable.  I can function.  Most of all, I am clean.

Please provide more details about how much you are both using and how you take the pills.  If you are snorting them (like I was), your first step should be to start swallowing them.  You'll use a lot less and you can begin to stabilize your use.  

You will get a lot of support and help here.  Congratulations on finding this site.  It means you are looking to quit.  That is the first step.

Best Regards.

[Rex1]

Hey and welcome.

Heed the words of 1day - those words have helped strengthen me for the last month.

There is tremendous power in coming out of the closet so to speak about your addiction, to someone at least. (By now you must be feeling some relief to know that you are not alone. In fact, I would say this is a problem that is a silent epidemic. We pick up up to 5 new posters here everyday. You have arrived at a place that will help you get you life back.)

Cindy McCain, the wife of the senator was hooked on pain pills as well as Matthew Perry from Friends, so don't think you can't go public.

However, read some of the posts here and you'll find a wealth of info.

As an example, many is us here comitted to a 2003 sobriety challenge, where we all started tapering our doses on Dec 1 with Jan 1 as the ZERO date. You are welocme to join us and you will find lots of info here to help you.

Good luck

Rex

[Witchywoman]

Welcome to the forum, you've come to a great place for support.

I am living  proof that you can get clean and stay clean, even with strong pain. I got clean thanks to this site over a year and a half ago, from a 30 a day vicoprofen habit. I don't know what the equivalent in oxy is, but I used to take somewhere between 200 and 300 mg of hydrocodone a day. I stopped cold turkey using the recipe I found on here, by Thomas. It was very, very hard. Sheer hell for 4 days then I felt better, just had lethargy for a few more weeks.  From what I have heard, you feel withdrawal symptoms for longer when coming off oxy.  I don't know why that is, especially if the oxy's are crushed and no longer time released.  Does anyone know anything about why that is?

Anyway, welcome, and feel free to join in the clean challenge some folks are doing together. There is power in numbers!  I am incredibly grateful to be clean and could not have done it without this site.

I do still have pain, but the pain the addiction caused the rest of my life was waaaaaaaaay worse than than the back pain I endure. I may be getting fusion surgery soon, but that is something I've not said yes to yet.   Stretching and excercise help a lot.   There are very very occasional times where I ask my husband to give me one pill if my pain gets very bad, but over a year of complete clean time went by before my back got so bad that I truly had no choice.  That may never be a good option for you if your husband is also an addict. I just never trust myself with pain pills.

Congratulations on wanting to get clean. That is the first step.  It is hard, but if you want it with every fiber of your being, you can and will do it.  

Getting clean is easier than staying clean, so once you get there, make sure you have a strong support system to make sure that you have the help you need to battle the cravings.

Also, you don't have to cold turkey  it, if you have the discipline to taper, go for it. I couldn't taper. If I took one pill as part of a taper, five minutes later I'd say the hell with it and take ten. lol  I was really bad.  You can also look into buprenorphine as a way to get off the oxy. Or methadone even.

good luck,
WW

[Rex1]

We have so many newcomers here in the last three days, I am reposting this. On behalf of Thomas, here is his exact recipe. Good luck and God's grace, and thanks to Thomas recipe, which helped me kick Hydro out of my life:
--------------------------------------------------------------
Thomas Detox Recipe

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas

This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.

For the Recipe, You'll need:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.

2. Imodium (immodium) (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).

3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.

4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.

5. Vitamin B6 caps.

6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium (immodium) aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.

[flashk]

Finding this forum has been a true miracle for me. I have been taking every narcotic pain killer I could get my hands on for the past 2 years. I had kicked a codeine habit about 5 years ago which was tough for a couple of days but nothing like what I am going  through this time. At my worst I was taking <chewing> 40 mg oxy's a bit at a time to get me through the day and supplimenting that with loracet 10 and little bites off of a morphine 100 when I felt I needed a kick.<every hour or so.> I was so scared to stop because I knew about the pain I was going to go through. I just decided I needed to stop killing myself and my feelings and free myself of this horrible addiction. I used a variation of Thomas's recipe w/o the valium. I also used Valerian and Kava Kava for anxiety and the leg thing.I have seen posts with a suggested weaning schedule which I didnt follow. I had a limited supply of pills left and didn't want to go back to the candystore ever again. I went from an average of probably 8 -10 percocets a day <more on a bad day...> to one 5 mg pill every 12 hrs. It was tough. I started Sunday morning 1 am.It is now Thurs 2 Pm I cut my dosage down to a half a pill today every twelve hrs. For the first time in a long time I am starting to feel a little like myself again. I know I still have a way to go and need to get my ass to a meeting because they work for me. All I am trying to say is there is HOPE. My biggest fear now is living without the pills. Everything I did revolved around them. Make the commitment to yourself and use the fellowship of this forum. You will make it!

[Rex1]

Way to go!

You're doing great. No one here has to join my plan, any plan is great as long as one exists.

Rex

[southernbelle]

i'm back from out of town, everybody.  but i truly need all the support you can offer.  i'm miserable.  i am NO NO NO NO GOOD without thoses pills!  they help me, they really do.  my mind is clearer, i'm happier, i feel better.  gosh, i don't know what's wrong with me.  i guess if someboday could remind me why they are bad.....i've walked this road for at least two years now, and i just feel like it's useless.  i need those pills to feel okay.  UGH!  anybody got any words of encouragement or something to add?  why is it SO WRONG?  I'm more depressed than anything, more than ever before.  everything sucks, and it would be better if i had a percocet to take.  i hate this and i don't like life too much right now.  why even bother?

[diso]

How are you doing today?  Is the worst over for you yet?  I was down in Florida for the past week and had no access to a computer.  It is great to see that you have posted a challenge for everyone here.  Keep up the encouragement.

This site is incredible.  I am very grateful I found it.  The people here literally saved my life.  I found the strength to quit by reading posts here.  

You are doing an outstanding job of carrying the torch!  You bring hope to those in need.  Keep up the fight.  Even if you don't feel good today, you WILL feel better soon--that is a certainty.  I went up and down the first 3 weeks.  As soon as I thought I was in the clear, bam! the next day I would feel like ****.  Mentally, it has been the same rollercoaster.  I feel positive one day and then dark depression the next.  Now, physically I feel really good.  The episodes are becoming fewer and farther between.  Despite the pain and anguish, there is something so satisfying about being clean.  Living in reality, whether that reality is good or bad, is so much better than living in a perpetual fog.

Congrats on setting a schedule and living by it.  If you have the will to do that, there is NOTHING you can't accomplish.  I, myself, was too weak to taper.  I had to quit cold turkey.  I was lucky because I had help in a detox center.  I deeply respect the fact that you are doing what you are doing on your own.

Best wishes.

[hellbent]

How much oxy are you taking per day? Are you taking oxycontin or percoset?

I kicked a really large OC habit 7 months ago. I recognize where you are and how you are feeling right now. You can get out.

[I'm Done]

I want people's opinions. If you were measuring the destructive qualities of addictions which do you think is worse in the short run or the long run:

a hydro/oxy addiction or a cocaine addiction ??

Forget $$$ just purely from the destruction it does to your body and brain. Which is worse and which is harder to kick?


I'm Done

[FINISHED?]

I keep reading about people "crushing & snorting" their oxy's. Is this because it's a time released drug? I've never heard of people doing that until this forum. Do people only do that with the time released stuff or is this common among Vicodin users as well? I don't think I would have had the "balls" to do that at the height of my hydro addiction. Just curious...

[southernbelle]

i feel so depressed...i feel like i am dying.  hell, i might as well die.  please read my earlier post from a little while ago.  i really can't take this.  i don't feel like trying anymore at all.  i want to give up.  if a damned pill makes me feel better, then so be it!  somebody help and push me in the right direction, please.  most of you seem so much smarter and wiser than me.  i feel so low right now.  why can't i just be normal?  why?  UGH!  i'm dying inside.

[southernbelle]

just wanted to let you know you are not alone.  not at all.  right now at this time there is somebody else with the same problem you have.  you have my love and understanding.  stick around this site....it helps.  my love to you.

[Witchywoman]

Southernbelle, I'm really worried about you. Are you feeling suicidal? Please tell someone if you are...go talk to a therapist, anyone. just give yourself a chance.

Hon, this is your addiction talking. It's just the pills talking and causing this depression.

Now here's some hard line but caring stuff.  I am not sure if you want to quit.  You say you don't even want to but yet they are making your life hell. You have a decision to make here sweetie. You really do.  Please consider going into a 30 day detox. You'll find a million excuses not to, money, kids, job etc...but if you kill yourself, those won't be there for you anyway.  

If you need the meds to control pain (I don't remember if you do or not) give them to a friend to dole them out to you to keep you from taking more than you are supposed to).

Just never give up. Never stop reaching for freedom. It is always there, waiting for you, no matter how bad you are feeling. If I can do it, anyone can. I once thought the pills made me a much better person. They  made me friendly, creative and outgoing...and then they made me depressed, withdrawn, and living in a fog of world where I was half alive.

Get some face to face help please. You need more than we can give you here, though we'll help as much as we can.

love,
WW

[Rex1]

Hey and welcome back - I have been thinking about you everyday.

Ok, so maybe there will be others who disagree with me, but just stay on a moderate dose for right now, until you can get a plan worked out.

Let me ask you a question, and I want the the truth. What would you do to be rid of these things? Would you devote a month of your life to being free, and tell yourself you will be tough as nails during that period?

I think I agree with WW, it might be time to come clean with everyone, and tell a professional about your problem, plus a family member or two. I think family members will be more supportive than you give them credit for.

Start out by saying that "this was the last thing you ever intended to do, but you did not realize how powerful these things were". And you know what, that is the truth! ANd you what else, no one here knew, because if we had, then we wouldn't be here.

Notice to all who are offended by religion and talk of Christ - stop reading here.

Pleae listen to me SB, God loves you and wants you to be his, and to live the life he has planned for you. You surely have heard of refiners fire, right? It is a white hot fire that a refiner of metals uses to rid the good metal of the dross (sp). This is his way of getting your attention, and he has it now, right. Listen to the folks here who are on the other side - they all say the same thing - the same exact Thing! "I feel great" I feel wonderful" Everyday gets better" There's your hope, it can be done! But you need some extra weapons, and I think you may need to see a pro to get them!


My suggestions:

1) Pray and ask God for help like you never have before!
2) Don't knock yourself out going cold turkey yet -stay on a moderate amount until you can get in a better mood and devise a plan that will be more gentle
3) Tell a family member what you are going through, and get them to go with you to an addiction doc, one who will partner with you! Heck all the movie stars who are anybody have an addiction to something. If Cindy McCain, a wife of a senator and presidential candidate can admit their hooked, all of us can!
4) If possible, get some time off from work under the guise of a family emergency, which is what this is. Devote December to YOU. Put all other things on hold if possible!

I believe and know that you can do this, but until your plan is in place, just stay the course.

BTW, have you read any of the posts concerning Buprenephorine (sp). Maybe this is an option for you.

We need you here you know - I have had a rough couple of days and have been missing you.

Post if you want to talk...

Our love
My love
God's love

Rex

[southernbelle]

thank you.  i'm just at a bad/low point right now.  i'm not taking anything, i've been out since last week.  but i feel like it's the only thing that would make me feel sane.  lately, my habit hasn't been that bad.  i'm not going through withdrawals.  i just feel like i've hit a wall and i can't get past it. the pills just help me, they really do.  i don't care if it's horse **** --- if it makes me feel better, then golly, what should i do?  why is it so wrong?  i love you rex, for caring.  i was raised in the church, and all i was ever taught was that i would burn in hell for being bad.  i don't have a very high opinion of the church, or any faith/religion right now, so i'd rather not talk religion.
all i know is i've got two beautiful, brilliant girls (you'd NEVER believe I have kids like that!), and TRULY wonderful husband who knows everything, a great job, formal education, I make a decent living.....and I still feel damned bitter and depressed.  what does it really matter?  i'm struggling so much.  i need a pill to feel okay.  since this is anonymous, i'll be honest.  i woke up one morning last week and had a dream.  but it wasn't really a dream.  it was just me remembering an abortion i had when i was 16.  it was so real.  i was on the table and they were taking the baby out of me. i was actually remembering what i had suppressed all these years.  when i woke up, my abdomen (where the baby would be) HURT all day.  I could hardly get through the day.  And, if you remember, i had a close family friend (practically my brother) die suddenly and unexpected.  
I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow.  i hope she helps. i sure need it.  i don't quite know what's wrong with me.  i'm not going to commit suicide or anything, i love my family too much.  i'm just so very TIRED TIRED TIRED of living and fighting.

[Bodymechanic]

Believe me I know exactly how your feeling. I just finished a detox with buprenex and I am back to normal.  Normal for me of course means, sleepless, depressed and in pain.  I believe that I damaged my nervous system by using heavy drugs at a very early age. I need a miracle to restore myself. I am settling for buprenex.  The doctor tells me that over time it will help my brain receptors to heal.  It does not stress out the nervous system the way most narcotics do. It is more difficult(not impossible) to abuse. While on buprenex using other narcotics will cause sickness. Over time (I am planning 2 years) I can get off the buprenex and maybe have a more normal brain. Saturday I make the trip from Baltimore to Pittsburg to consult with the closest doctor that will do this. I want off the drug rollercoaster ride. I dont' know if this is an option for you but you sound like a good candidate. In meantime I think a psychatrist is a good idea.  If nothing else, at least a different set of eyes will be looking at your problem.  I will pray for you.

[Rex1]

Well, good luck with the Phsychiatrist tomorrow.

Be forewarned, their solution may be another pill. You may be depressed because  - guess what - you are going through some tough times, and handling it way better than I could, btw.

You job is busy, your dealing with guilt, plus you friend passing, its all hitting you at once. Its OK to feel this way, these are valid reasons.(Some day I will share with you what is driving my depression and anxiety, but you will probably laugh or at least be amazed)

So, lay it all out tommorrow expecially the part about the pills, OK?

Did you read Dr. Horvaths solution to delaing with depression in his A: above? You should - it was helpful for me.

"The other approach is to accept that at times the sound track in my mind is going to be working at full speed, but it's simply not worth paying that much attention to. This is the approach of the newer wave of behavioral therapies, such as ACT or DBT.Hope this helps.

On the religion thing, let me just say this. It has nothing to do with being bad or good - we're all bad. It's more about a daily relationship with God. Pray to Him - He answers. You pray back, thanking Him. He gives more blessings. The most important thing I have learned in my life in the last 20 years is this: God gives Grace (undeserved kindness) to the humble. When you say you can't do it, HE says "I know - here's some Grace so you can". But you have to be humble and ask. Try it, God promises results when you do. And i like His track record...

Prayin for ya sis. How was the trip overall...

Rex

Nough said.

Rex

[And]

Hello all,

I just found this forum as I too am at my wits end.  I've been on Oxycontin and Roxicodone since 1999.  I'm now on the riduculous dose of about 350-400 mg/day due to avascular necrosis (hip joint disease). My doctor just continues to escalate my dosage and doesn't understand that I just want off.  He always just says to me:"one step at a time."  I've tried to cut down my dosage but the WD are so bad that I always just give in to the them.

I spent the last 20 years on becoming a tenured math professor at a  leading university and can now no longer teach -- not due to pain but due to the high dose of narcotics. My career will be over unless I can get off the pills within the next few months.  I too consider that suicide *must* be the only way out. The few friends that I have left are so sick of my compulsive habit that they don't want to hear about it anymore.

I can't taper off either, and I just cannot go cold turkey.  I used to have such a great life and now ...

Thanks for listening, I know that you've all heard this many, many times before.

And.

[southernbelle]

rex--thanks SO MUCH for understanding.  i just sort of felt like i needed to explain why i feel so down.  i've never shared that information with anyone --- nobody knows that (until now).  thanks for not bashing me.  it's just a difficult thing and i want to be numb me it.  i just don't understnad why it's hitting me so hard right now, just seems to have come from out of the blue.  and work is more stressful than ever before.  more harassment grievances and mediations and incidents than ever before ==== none of our employees are happy!  it really stresses me out.  sometimes i have panic attacks, i know that's what they are.  sheer panic.  my trip was okay, i stayed focused, the situation was serious and i needed to resolve it.  everybody at the location seemed satisfied when i left.  i don't travel again until January, so i've got some time to rest.  i just can't figure out what is wrong with me.  God is an enigma to me at this point in my life...I have uncles who are pastors, my family is very religious (bible belt southern)....but right now, i'm angry.  i don't need to hear about any grace when i feel like i'm dying inside.  i know that may not make sense to you, i'm sorry.
AND - hang in there.  i'm sure you are an exceptional person.  just do the best you can.  you didn't get where you are in your careeer by being dumb. use your head.  you know what to do.  stay around this site -- it will help.  there are so many great people here.  most of all rememeber you are NOT alone.   NOT ALONE!  there are others who are in the same boat as you are.  LOVE TO EVERYBODY.  rex, i hope you are a praying person.  i need someone to hold ,my arms up during the battle.

[Witchywoman]

Southernbelle, I too had an abortion when I was 16 and still grieve over it. I could have a 20 something year old child now and now am infertile so lost my chance forever when I did that.

I don't believe the pills are the only things that can make you feel better. You may very well have brain chemistry that requires some kind of medication to help control your depression (like many of us do). We self medicate with opiates a lot.  Other antidepressants do the job very well without ruining our lives.  I hope you get an empathic, supportive Pscyhiatrist who understands addiction and won't judge you.

I am not Christian, but am extremely spiritual. My religion is everything to me, and prayer helped me get through detox, but it is not for everyone.

Please let us know how it goes. I'll be thinking of you.

love,
WW

[southernbelle]

as always, i appreciate your logic and realism.  i can tell you mean what you say...you know how i feel.  i don't know how i got in the condition i'm in.  things are just a little crazy in me right now, and i'm having trouble coping.  guilt, remorse, i'm grieiving and extremely STRESSED at the same time.  one day this roller coaster ride will end for us.  love to you.  thanks for being there.

[Lachesis]

My sister needs treatment for Oxy... and Id like help getting her to detox. B/C of her depression and blackouts I dont think she can do it on her own...

Good news is she wants the treatment... Bad news is trying to get her into treatment.

We live in SE Alaska. NO one does prescription drug detox down here. I've been calling around and found at one time they did do it here {and use to be the only ones in all of Alaska} but no longer do.

I've run into several brick walls. #1 is she also has depression {server} which causes a problem. A lot of places do not deal with what they call duel diagnoses.

#2 is Im wanting to check out the places if possible and I've yet to find a place that does detox with duel diagnoses.

#3 If there is a place, it is in Anchorage which she is refusing to go... her new boyfriend's ex-girlfriend lives up there and gets rehab (unknown where exactly) and supposeably has a hit out on my sister.

#4 she is on medicaid so it isnt like she has her pick of places to go. If she had her way she'd be going to WA state in-house treatment.

She is currently on 5 pills (5-500) a day (Im holding on to them and doling them out) but has been known to do 6-12 pills a day. Like if she cleans house, she feels she needs more.

She is on them legally. BAD thing is Virginia Mason hospital pain clinic said there is nothing they can do for her arms. (They swell up like a sausage, turn purple/bue) which causes her pain.... {for those that have taken oxycodone, have you ever experienced this??}
She can not move her hand, finger or arm and now it's moving into the other arm). We're wondering if it is due to the pain pills or if it really is something else.
They also said she'd probably be on pain pills for life, and they just said this in May.

Other bad thing is when she runs out of meds she does this weird blackouts where she knows who you are and where she is but it's like a nervous breakdown. She shakes her bed and screams at people. Says things she doesnt mean (like she doesnt want her kids). It is AWFUL!!! And thats not including the physical pain she goes through when she doesnt have these meds....

Anyways... I guess Im just looking for some support, maybe suggestions on how to get her to a detox/rehab... I look forward to hearing from others who've been through it.
*I'm* burning out :( Lately I've been helping take care of her kids when I get home from work... and she's been in bed for the past 3 days b/c of the flu (I do believe it is the flu *or* b/c she is out of her medication that helps her stay awake {also prescribed due to depression issues she's had since she was 11 or 12, long before pain pills} She decided to self-wean herself and flush them down the toliet... :(

[southernbelle]

thanks so much.  i don't think anybody can ever understand the PAIN a woman goes through when she goes through something like that.  the christians wouldn't be outside the clinics if they knew the real deal --- women suffer enough through the ordeal--- nothing needs to be added to it to make a woman feel bad about it.  it's just a horrible thing and does INTENSE psychological damage.  at least i believe it did to me.  that incident and all the other **** in my life right now is just ruining me.  i just don't understand why it's come up all of a sudden.  my mind and heart are in a mess, truly.  thanks so much for being there.  i love you guys.

[southernbelle]

keep being an angel to her.  my husband is so great to me --- w/out that, i don't know how i'd be.  i wish i had some better advice for you.  we have some properties in Alaska. gosh there's got to be somewhere she can get treatment.  but her arms sound serious.  i haven't heard anybody on here mention that.  but i don't know....do a search on this forum, maybe you'll find something.  if anything, i can offer you love and tell you that you aren't alone.  right now, in this great big world, you've got some folks who understand and have been there, too.  love to you.  stick around this site....it helps.

[Rex1]

You got it.

Look forward Ok. Look to the next month as a slower month, hopefully with some rest and relaxation. That will help lift your mood.

Rex

[Bodymechanic]

There is a clinic in Florida and Pittsburg that will be able to get you off of oxycontin.  Here is the link to their website. If this is not a practical solution for you, post back and we will try to help you in some other way.  It sounds to me like your back is up against the wall. I'm sure you already know that at those dosages this will not be easy.  If you want off bad enought it will happen.  

http://www.center4painrelief.com/

[Lachesis]

Thanks. I am looking for her more in WA state b/c it isnt too too far away.

She doesnt understand once she goes to detox she will probably not get cigs or her medicines for other stuff... :( I mean maybe she knows I dont know.

Tonight she is cranky... she has had her meds but she is snappy with people, like she hasnt taken her meds :/ I told her do NOT get snippy with me...
She is sick w/something? She said has diarreah... but the past 2 days she and her b/f have been sicker then dogs w/something on and off. Boyfriend thought it might be food poisening but he has it again today (was fine yesterday).
When she gets sick, she can not get out of bed.

Im really trying but Im getting burnt out quickly. My mom is no help at all.... Her boyfriend is mad about the whole pain pill ordeal...  I think he is ready to walk....
I am once again watching her kids... giving him a break (she called me "Come get them... Brian is loosing his temper" which Brian deemed fine to me... but who knows...).

[lisabet]

Hi Belle - sorry to hear you're so down and depressed. With the abortion thing, you're not alone. I have had 4 of them in my lifetime; at age 16, 17, 21 and 28.  I'm so ashamed to be writing this, even if no one knows who I am, just wanted to let you know you're not alone in your sorrow.  I'm embarrassed to say I had them without a second thought about it, but now that I'm older I agonize about it often. I think people do things and then block them out mentally when they're younger and not deal with them, but sooner or later the things you do come flooding back to your memory.  I guess it's our body's way of making us deal with the suppressed memories.  (Thus making me want to numb myself all that much more with pills and alcohol). Good luck tomorrow - you sound like a very strong person, even if you don't feel like it at this moment.  My thoughts are with you, Lisabet

[theGolden1]

Just judging from the damage that heavy cocaine use does as compared with heavy opiate use .... I'd say cocaine is worse.
I'm not talking occasional use of cocaine. I'm talking "heavy" addiction. This is strictly objective on my part. The proof is in the pudding. No matter which drug it is .... I believe the 12 step program is a "life saver" ... I've decided to take care of my brain .... it's the only one I've got! How are things going for you? Have you been able to trim down your dose to a safer level? Try to get a doctor on your trip and as much support as you can. I will keep you in my thoughts ... Goldie

[jonesing247o]

Hey everyone, its been a while since ive posted but I have
a question to ask, and I am not allowed to start a new
thread so ill ask it here. First and foremost, I recognize
a few names from when I used to post, and am glad to
see that many have made great progress. Good for you!
Anyways, for the last year I have been addicted to Oxycontin.
At my peak I have taken as many as 11 80mg pills in one day.
Many people find that hard to believe, but i dont gain any
satisfaction from exaggerating my drug intake. In fact, I
would find that pretty pathetic. Anyways, I have tried to
detox about 7 times, the longest period being for 6 days.
At this point, im taking 6 80's a day to maintain "normalcy."
The funny thing is that they are making me drowsier now than
at any point of my addiction. Many days I have had to do cocaine
to counter-act the lethargy. I have reached the final straw.
I am now prepared to go for RAPID DETOX. My question is for
anyone who has undergone the procedure - is it dangerous? how much
w/d symptoms did you feel after it? how long to get back on
your feet? I would really appreciate as much input as possible.
Also Hellbent (Johnathan) congrats for being clean - unfortunately my email went stagnant and the account closed, and
I lost your email (the perilous life of a junkie!). I'd love to correspond as you were an
incredible resource. Please let me know how we can get in touch.
To all others, sorry for the length of this post and good luck
in your journey to sobriety. This forum is a great way to
gain insight and a helping hand. Take care - Mark.

[jonesing247o]

Sorry, me again. Robyn - I was scrolling through previous threads and you said that you are taking Effexor. In anticipation of the forthcoming depression that accompanies
withdrawl, i procured a script for Effexor. I have always been very scared of anti-depressants - i have heard horror stories and i am scared that it will totally rewire my brain and change
me as a person. My doc assures me that this generation of anti-
depressants does not pose such a threat but i would appreciate it
if you could give me your opinion of effexor and what it is doing for you. If anyone else is taking effexor, i would also appreciate your input. Thanks, Mark.

[Bodymechanic]

Before you do the rapid detox I suggest that you investigate buprenex.  Rapid detox is new but from what I have seen the results are already proving to be poor, especially with a long acting drug like oxycontin.  I don't see how anyone could recover in 24-72 hours from an addiction of the magnitude and duration that you have.

[JohnsDad]

Hello there, guys and gals...  I'm a brand new poster here, so I'd just like to say hello to all of you, and maybe get a couple of questions answered.

My son is addicted to oxycontin, he says he takes two 40s per day.  Now, I don't know how true this is, perhaps he takes even more, I'm not sure.  I just know that in the month of November he spent over $1200 for pills.  He was getting cash advances from his wife's credit card and the only way she (we) found out is when the monthly bill came in when he forgot to steal it out of the mailbox.  He's 31 years old, has a beautiful wife and two darling little girls.  He says he WANTS to quit, said he did the other day, but now I find out that he stashed some pills and has been taking them.  His wife is disgusted with this whole deal, wants to leave him.  He really loves her a lot, but it seems like he likes the oxy better.

I would like to help him, somehow, but I am at a loss as to how to go about this.  As a father, I don't want to see my son addicted to this poison, and I don't want to see him loose his wife and family.  I need to know how to proceed.  I, myself, am 63 years old, but I am more or less familiar with some of the problems of addiction.  Luckily, I never did any of that heavy stuff, don't even do any alcohol, although I have smoked marijuana for the last 50 years.  I have seen several people (acquaintances) die from ODing on heroin or other stuff, I sure don't want to see my son dead - or even addicted.

Anyway, if some of you could make some suggestions as to what I can do to help, I would be very grateful.  I should add that my son is not very computer savvy, so you'll just have to deal with me, for the present.

Thanks, everyone!  

(I'm John also!)

[And]

Thanks for your response.  I'll look into the Buprenex treatment -- I've never heard of it.  I started cutting dowmn yesterday after reading a lot of stuff here so I feel pretty bad even though I put a 50 microg/h patch of Duragesic on this am (nomally use 100 in addition to the oxy) and have already taken 90 mg of Roxicodone (Oxycodone instant release -- same med as in Oxycontin but not time release.)  I'll need another 30mgs more before morning or I'll go through hell.

I wrote myself, as suggested, a schedule, but have done this countless times before!  BTW I've been through the rapid detox in 1996 (yes, I've had this problem before), and I felt soooo ill afterwards, for the whole year that I was clean (more or less -- a few percs here and there), I ended back on the stuff.  I'm going to do it again though as I can't really taper, as soon as I've had the hip replacement operation that I need (which  is why I can get any meds I want).  I hope that I'll try harder this time.  I'd like to be on a lower dose before I do it though asa I'm on about 4-5 times as much as last time so I can imagine how I'll feel afterwards.

I bought the suggested detox stuff to try and lower the dosage, but I have no way of getting Valium or the equivalent.  I can get Ambien though, but that doesn't do much for me now.

And.

[hellbent]

Mark, glad you are back.

I looked at rapid detox when I was wondering how I was going to get out, but I didn't like what I found. Here is a usenet search. These are other addicts posting, not doctors, so read as many threads as you can to get an idea, as I am sure there are widely varying opinions...

http://groups.google.com/groups?q=%2B%22rapid+detox%22+%2Boxycontin&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en

(make sure to paste the entire url above into the address field of your internet browser)

You can hit me at ***@****

[pillhell]

I hope I spelled your name right.I am no position to even pretend I can help you with your addiction.But as far as the abortion and all of the depression,I totally understand.When I was 17 I had an abortion.I'm 31 now.I never went to a psycologist but for me the pain never goes away.It only gets better,as more time goes by.I try not to think how old he/she would be,or what kind of person they'd be today.But its hard.When I had it done it was horrible.I almost got my ass beat on the way in,by those religous freaks.Then they were assholes while they did it,calling me names.Then when they were done they said o.k. your babys dead you can go now.nice huh.Like doing it wasnt bad enough.Then I got an infection they used dirty equipment.It took a long time to get over that nightmare.But I did.You have two precious girls.Be proud of that.There isn't a pill or drug in the world thats gonna make you forget about your bad exper.I know you relize that,or you'd have taken something by now.Stay strong.(I should take my own advice)If you want to get anything off your chest,you can e-mail me if you want
***@**** on this forum is here for you.

[groovygirl]

Hi and welcome...as I'm sure you already know, your son has to want to quit - no one can help him until he's ready to quit.  He doesn't have to be a computer expert to come onto the forum and read.  Maybe you could suggest it to him.  It's a lot easier than dragging his butt to meetings.  

It isn't that he "likes the oxys better" than his family...they have a hold on him that changes the way he thinks about everything.  His body and brain tells him that the oxys come first right now...I have compromised my morals in ways I never would have believed I would.  It is very frightening.

The only thing I can suggest to you is to maybe have some kind of intervention...gather together everyone who loves him and just confront him...in a non-judgemental way of course.  Stress how much you want to support him...put in front of him all that he has to lose if he continues on this path.  Maybe research some treatment programs in your area and provide him with the information.  That's about all you can do...it's really all up to him.

Good luck to you...pray for him.

[And]

I deperately need a vote of confidence.  This is my third day sticking to my taper schedule and I feel like hell.  Though I'm still on a 50microg/h Duragesic and 90 mg of roxicodone (instant release oxycodone -- same stuff as Oxycontin, this is less than half what I have been taking for some time (daily for 4 years this time -- escalated from 60 mg/Oxycontin + about 10 percs). The 4 hours between the 15mgs oxycodone is difficult as that dose just isn't enough to have no W/D symptoms.

I have not cheated and want to get down to 60-80mg Oxycontin/day with no patch -- even less if possible.  BTW the Oxycontin/codone equivalent is twice that of the patch, so a 50 patch is like 100 mg/Oxy/day.  I know this still seems like I'm still on a very high dosage but I'm coming down!

Trouble is that none of my friends even want to talk to me about this anymore -- they're so sick of hearing my sob stories.  I just want somebodyto say "good job" and keep it up.  This is the longest that I've gone this time in discomfort.  I intend to be off the patch in about 3-5 days and continue decreasing.  Depression/despair has kicked in though and I feel terribly alone.  The very painful leg cramps (as well as every other possible symptom) makes it almost impossible to sleep.

I have an appointment on Monday though and won't be able to make it unless I do "cheat". Anyway it would help if somebody somewhere told me that the suffering that I'm subjecting myself to is worthwhile -- especially as I have a large stash of pills, one of which, right now, would take the pain away.

And.

[hyjack]

I wanted to throw something out there for you to think about.

When I was taking narcotics, a lot of my physical and emotional problems were masked.  One of them was my hormone levels.  I don't know how old you are, but I know for a fact, that low levels of hormones can make you feel exactly like what you are describing.  When you stopped taking your narcotics, these problems now come to the forefront.  Low hormones will give you a lot of bad emotional feelings as well as physical.

This was just something that I thought of while reading your posts.  That could explain a lot of the "low" feelings you are experiencing.  Good luck.

[hellbent]

"Trouble is that none of my friends even want to talk to me about this anymore -- they're so sick of hearing my sob stories. I just want somebodyto say "good job" and keep it up."

-I know that others' input SEEMS important right now. I felt that way too. Remember that non-addicts don't really have a clue what is going on with you. They simply cannot relate and have no idea how bad it is, how your mind, body, and spirit are out of whack.

Other addicts will tell you you are tackling a demon and succeeding. I'll tell you that right now. What you are doing is incredibly difficult, takes great strength, and the rest of the world has no ******* clue the kind of pain and horror we go through. But, we put ourselves in our predicaments, right? It's not really their job to understand or make us feel better, especially when they can't relate.

The truth is that, if you make it through, you will have a chance to build a new life. When the people in your life see you change, look better, act alert again, get your soul back, you will hear plenty of compliments and admiration.

I get so many comments these days, I am sick of it, "Jon, you look 10 years younger", "You've lost so much weight, you look so good, what have you been doing?" or "I read an article on Oxycontin. I can't believe you quit that stuff". Even better is when I get a call from someone who knows what happened to me and knows another person who is addicted, and I get a chance to share what I went through with them, how I survived it.

For now, just stick to the taper, no matter what. It's so damn hard to do, but it beats cold turkey all to hell. Gotta be honest, I never could do it, but I know people who have. It's possible, but if you keep failing at it, it becomes too much of a mind ****. Stick to the schedule!

[And]

Thanks hellbent. I must say that it will help me to post my progress here since there would be no point in lying about relapses.  Though  this info. is probably rather boring to others.

Got down to 75 mgs for Saturday (yesterday) with the 50 microg patch.  I was going to allow myself 90 mgs, so did better than expected.  But a hellish night.  This morning I went through the worst W/D of my life for over an hour so that I could delay my first pill of the day (15mgs roxicodone=3 percs, no tylenol).  Only an hour later and the symptoms are back.

It's that non-stop feeling of going downhill on a rollercoaster in the pit of your stomach that I find completely agonizingly intolerable.  I hope that I can get through today, but have visitors coming over -- makes things difficult.

And.

[peaz]

This post is kinda late, but I haven't read in here for while.  I used to live in Anchorage a long time ago, and I recall a Langdon Clinic that provided psychiatric care and would possibly do drug treatment.  They were on 42nd Avenue, not far off Lake Otis Parkway.  If they're not in the white pages of the phine book, check the yellow pages.  Or call information.  If theycan't help you, they could probably point you in the right direction.  Ask a lot of questions until you get some answers. I wish you well.  What you're doing for your sister is a total act of love an unselfishness.  Good luck, and let me know if you found any help.  Peaz

[peaz]

P.S.  The "flu-like symptoms" and diarrhea sure sounds like withdrawl to me...What was the med that she took herself off of so suddenly? But I don't know why her boyfriend would have the same symptoms unless they are both going cold turkey from something. (ran out of stash, perhaps?)
  To a certain extent, all addicts would fit a "dual diagnosis" evaluation.  Deep depression is a symptom of both addiction and withdrawl.  So I'm not certain that your sister would need a type of detox that's much different than any other addicts'.  Of course, you should get a medical opinion on this.  Again, hope to hear from you if you find any resources in Anchorage.      Peaz

[hellbent]

"It's that non-stop feeling of going downhill on a rollercoaster in the pit of your stomach that I find completely agonizingly intolerable"

-It feels hopeless, and that's why so many can't stick it out. Feels like it will never get better anyway, so you might as well get some relief.

I had to have faith that if I took the hell and pain of withdrawal, no matter how bad it was, or how long it lasted, it would get better, and I would be taken care of. It did, and I was. It's a real mind job to get over this stuff, but you can absolutely do it.

[Rex1]

I completely agree with Mariposa.

I think from an outsider's perspective looking in, the thing to keep in mind is that your son, in a way, is not in his own mind. He in the grip of addiction, which in many ways offers a relentless stream of voices, all of which are more powerful than yours or his wife's, saying the pain can go away, if you just swallow this little pill.

It is rare that an addict puts the brakes on well before seeing the cliff - it's usually looking over the edge that stops you in your tracks. You have to shock enough to get his attention, but not drive him off in a potentially worse direction.

I would not respond well to an intervention - but that's me. He might. One thing you can might try is finding out who his doctor is, schedule an appointment with him for your son, meet your son and in a supportive, "i'll be right by your side the whole way" type of a methoed, force him to go to the dr with you at his side. Make sure he spills the beans - all of them to the doctor and focus on how he gets out, not how he got in.

You would be suprised, I think at how many doctors these days are seeing this type of stuff. When I told my dr about it, he said "I deal with this two or three times a week!" This amazed me.

Now, what I am about to say, I have no way to prove, because this forum is not a statistically accurate sampling of society. But I, and others here, believe this is a exploding epidemic! But it is silent in nature, because of the stigma, and because it is not immediately life threating, like AIDS for example.

But when rock bands are writing songs about Vicodin, and hollywood is making movies about it, you can bet it has arrived as an American hobby/pastime.

My point is, his doctor is seeing it, and there are new programs coming available every day to deal with this emerging health issue. It may not even be his fault that he got addicted, but as Mariposa pointed out, he, and he alone OWNS the responsibility of getting out. Your positively reinforced assisance will be the best help, in my humble opinion..

Rex

[Rayven]

Hello,

Yes, I am an Oxcy addict. This is my first post and I'm scared to death. Eating 4-6 20's a day. Stupidly I just spent another 800.00 on this ****. I'm very confused.

[Rex1]

Welcome.

One thing is, post near the top even if your post is off-subject of the original thread.

Secondly, you'll find a lot of folks here that can help you, and plenty more that have walked the path you are about to walk.

You are an addict, which means that you, in and of yourself, are POWERLESS to these drugs. They will overpower you, unless you harness other resources. this board is one of those resources.

First thing I would do I go see your doc and level with him - tell em everything. Let him do his job. he will tell you where to start medically.

Come here and listen to what others have to say.

Good luck..

Rex

[osky]

i was addicted to oxys. i got in a bad accident and got prescribed to 40mg and then i was selling 80mg so at my peak i was doing roughly 300mg to 400mg a day. i would just crush up a few 40's and 80's and just keep it in a pile and just take a nice line off it when ever i felt it was necessary. i got arrested and they put me in rehab and im doing well i stopped completely for about 3 months and then i did a 40 and i havent done one since and its december 5 months.

[4given]

HI.i also have a son who takes from 50 to 80 perks a day he overdosed on 12/03/i live in constant fear of him dying he is 21 in az no law can take away his selfish right to kill himself he does not understand how we feel it has torn our life as a family apart i know some of you are not religious but guess what? neither is god yous have to know that this is some form of evil no good comes out of it you can quit!!!!!!! phillipians 4 13 says i can do all things through christ who strenthens me not religion it does not matter where youve been its about where your going chose life dont let pills control yous please know that somone loves you dont hurt them turn away if you ask god to help you he will just think about it were ther is life there is hope i hope my son quits in JESUS NAME AMEN.................

[Rayven]

Thank for the reply Rex,but how do I post @ the top ? I have  anglosysing spondlilitis. Bad back !! Started out with Darvocet, then vic's. Acouple of years ago I was introduced to Ocy's. Man I felt great. I was getting my job done,got a promotion, everthing was going great. Now of course I cannot get thru the day without my first 20. No, my DR.has no idea that I'm taking these. I'm going broke and scared to try to stop. How can a pill that makes me function be so destructive !?? As I'm not the best typist,is the a way to get spell-check in these messages? I do not have the balls at this time to speak with him. (DR)

[Rex1]

I sincerely hope that I can be honest with you, without you thinking that I'm being too harsh.

In my opinion, you are making a big mistake by not leveling with your doctor.  I am someone who is big on analogies so please forgive me, but the analogy I always use for drug abuse is the following: quicksand.

You don't see it coming but once you are in, the more you flail about trying to get out, the worse it actually gets.  Just like real quicksand, you really can't get out by yourself.  And every day that you don't ask for help, starting with a medical professional, you actually get further in than further out.

So my question is to you, "when does it end?"

You are leveling with people on this forum as we speak, right? Why not level with your doctor?  You'll be surprised at how frequently doctors today are treating drug abuse -- it's an epidemic!

Finally, leveling with your doctor and getting this out in the open will serve as the starting point for you -- and the start here icon on the proverbial monopoly board, if you will.

I will make you a deal -- I will even tell you what to say and how to say it.  Tell your doctor the following:

"Something happened to me that I did not see coming.  I did not set out to do this, nor did I want to do this, and yet one day I woke up and found that had in fact happened.  I have become dependent on painkillers, to the point that I am exceeding my recommended dosage on a daily basis.  I've tried everything to fight this, but lost every time.  Give me your medical recommendation on what to do next."


Good luck and let us know what you decide.

Rex

[Rex1]

Posting at the top means simply this.

When asking a question or posting a comment, do so in the top of the window, otherwise known as the top thread.  As an example, regardless of what your question is or whether it matches the top thread, today you would post your question on the very top thread which is entitled
"a new day a new post"

People on this forum tend to only scan the top three to five subject posts.  In other words, you'll get much more attention from many more people if you post in the top two or three "threads", or subjects.

Rex

[Thomas02]

Initiate your attempt with a classical drug intervention led by a trained therapist and your friend's closest family memebers and friends. It usually works to finally get the attention of strung out users.

Thomas

[Rayven]

Good Morning,

This evening is the comapny Xmas party @ our house !!!! In my thinking "now" I'm glad I have my little stash. Also in my thinking "Now" I think this is the best thing since sliced bread. (OC's) But I  still must have some brain cells left to recognize the that soon the bottle will be empty. I do want to feel normal again. I assume the pain will return. I do understand REX about what you are saying in re:speaking with my DR. Right now @ this moment I feel I could do it. Yes, Iv'e just taken my first cup of courage this am and could call. (I think)

But why is a pill that makes me function so damnaging ???

By the way, God has helped me quit acouple of times before. Funny thing,when you have a supply ,you are on top of the world,when you have 1-2 left you freak out. Like you won't be able to go on. Quicksand !!!

Lisa (wife) knows that I'm getting these and knows my pain. She has never even smoked a joint !! Thank God.


Thank you very much for your time - Rayven I really appreactae your replies and comments. Have a good weekend.

[Rex1]

I, and others here are just alerting you, that while things may be "OK" right now, there is a crash and burn scenario ahead of you my friend.

I think I am correct in saying things aren't so bad for you at this moment. I like to say

"You can take care of the problem now with a scalpel, or later with a meat axe".

As Thomas, Hippee, Methman, 1day, TheGolden1, and everyone else here has helped me realize, I am a drug addict.

And you know, as an addict, your ususally only going in one of two directions - heading towards a big crash, or trying to get away from one.

Turn around my friend. There's a crash up ahead. Call your doctor...today.

Rex

[shadowgirl82]

This **** seems like it's worth anything when you've tried it, it wraps around you like a dizzying lover who's also pretty ******* crazy and is bound, no matter what, to ruin your life. Try going to your doctor and getting on a suboxone program (NOT METHADONE---replacement addiction!! This program can work as long as you take the medicine as directed, and I believe counseling and attending AA meetings can increase the chances of a lifetime recovery greatly(not NA meetings, they become a social club for users to trade info) or, if you have the money or have friends and family who love you and are willing to help cover the cost, the waisman method (look it up)  is pretty new, it's a RAPID detox they put you out for, with a follow up medicine. It's like "cleaning layers of **** off your brain" as one rocker who went though it described. It has at least a 65% success rate. You can't beat that. (But it is terribly expensive for the normal person. It'd be great if all the rich addicts out there who have gotten clean or want to, could start a fund to help others try the program. It's something that should be readily available  for this epidemic) Good luck everyone, I'm not a puritan, I just understand how this **** ruins not only the users lives but those who love them as well. It's a "social" drug in more ways than one..

[opi]

i to love/hate oxy's.....cold turkey for over two weeks....the drug runs our lives( did anyway) i am slowly gainning control....you know it suks so you are ready to make a move on it..do it now and get it doen no matter which path you choose....just do it,,,,trust me ...does not matter that you can afford it ....you can't put a financial value on your life,,,,,,clean it up,,,keep posting,,ther soem wise ppl on this forum that will help you the whole way...i think you would be surprised at how supportive your family would be ....tell them before they find out the hard way...they will jump on the chance to help you...........i know this.....keep postin and we'll keep supporting

[JayDiddy]

I started using Oxycontin on a daily basis after having four cervical discs fused. I never abused them beyond the low prescribed dosage until the beginning 2007. Regardless I became a hard core emotional addiction. Don't let the money situation fool you. I made $240k in 2002, started oxy in 2003 and made $400k that year. Well the **** brought me to my knees and I eventually lost everything last year in 2007. It will eventually take anyone of us down.

Money was only part of the  loss. I lost my sanity, lost my emotional stability, lost friends through isolation, lost my houses, lost everything to the point of almost death.

Addiction is not complacent. It is progressive. When we "take a break" & start back with use, it comes back to the same place we left off, but in my case, even stronger.

Thank God I lost everything and got into recovery last year because that is what it took for me to find sobriety. I am just lucky I did not die in the process & devistate my parents and those who love me.

I am building back and through AA/NA am learning a whole new way of life and experiencing happiness that I did not come close to during all the "money years", even though I am sleeping on Mom & Dad's couch.

Lastly, I think this disease is too hard to fight on our own & requires a program like NA/AA.

Good Luck to all.

Jay