Aa
Addiction
After about 2 years, I finally found an addictionologist in my area. He is licensed to prescribe Subutex. It is the "new" Buprenorphine only it comes in tablet form and is much stronger than the old version. The only glitch is we cannot find any pharmacies that have it. He could buy it directly from the manufacturer but it would cost him $700 - that is the smallest amount he can purchase at one time. He won't do it. He charges $175 per hour and I'm sure once the Subutex is available it will be expensive. There are no breaks for addicts in this country. I've waited a long time for this but now it seems like it will just be a big money thing like Methadone. I'm really depressed now and I feel like there is not a lot of hope. Is anyone else out there been trying to find this medication?
Wow!!! Again...Don't you have to have the doc's DEA number? It seems to me that whenever a script was called in for me, there was a ton of info the pharmacist needed...but then again, I pretty much used the larger chains such as Savons, Walgreens etc.
What happens when the pharmacist catches on? Do they just dismiss you without the meds? I can maybe see it working if you had already had a script & just called in a refill or two. I remember a time that my doc had called in a script for 60 Vicodin ES with 2 refills. I went to pick them up 5 hours later & the pharmacist wouldn't give them to me until he talked with the nurse. Again...WOW!!! Scary stuff. I'm glad you stopped. This sounds so risky & even at my highest point of use never would've risked this. Please continue your path to recovery. It doesn't come easily but what good thing does?...other than God & the lottery.
FINISHED!!
What happens when the pharmacist catches on? Do they just dismiss you without the meds? I can maybe see it working if you had already had a script & just called in a refill or two. I remember a time that my doc had called in a script for 60 Vicodin ES with 2 refills. I went to pick them up 5 hours later & the pharmacist wouldn't give them to me until he talked with the nurse. Again...WOW!!! Scary stuff. I'm glad you stopped. This sounds so risky & even at my highest point of use never would've risked this. Please continue your path to recovery. It doesn't come easily but what good thing does?...other than God & the lottery.
FINISHED!!
Unfortunatly it is that easy. I worked in a pharmacy for about 3 years...alot of people got away with it while I was working there, but the pharmacist rarely did anything to stop it---usually would just let it slide it seemed like. I always used to think to myself what awful people these drug addicts are. And now i'm in the same situation, a co-worker and myself have been calling in our own rx's for 6 months at multiple pharmacies...oh how I wish it weren't so easy, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation now!?!? But i've recently stopped doing it, and am getting help...so things are looking up!
-Bungee7
-Bungee7
"Calling in your own scripts?" Sound EXTREMLY risky to me. I thought there were tools in place to guard against this. Don't you need their DEA number or something like that. It just CAN'T be that easy...is it? Anyways...like you said, an addict will do almost anything to get the pills but it takes a HUGE set of brass to do THAT.
I give credit when credit's due...it's due!!! Of course it ALL come back to & starts with God but messengers like yourself are instrumental in His Word, works & Being. Without the likes of you, I'd still be BLAMING God instead of LOVING Him...or Her. You have shown such undying faith & strength. I thank God for Rex1. I thank Rex1 for the direction back to God.
Thank you,
FINISHED!!
Thank you,
FINISHED!!
I was curious how everyone gets all their meds I thought I was the only one that called them in. No withdrawels with this relapse but it could be just because i only did it for a couple of days. Do you think I am safe to say I won't have any? This is day 3 and feeling ok. Still craving it though and would love to call one in, but I did the other day and went to go and get it and wouldn't you know it they verified it so it was a no go. My sis takes all of my money so I can't get it but I still have my ways. Isn't it weird how determined one can be to get that stuff when they have no real resources. Hell I even walked a mile to the pharmacy just to be shot down. Cussing the whole way home dreading the next day, but it has not been too bad, if I stay this sane I think I can I think I can.....
Nice of you to say, but God gets the Glory - not me.
I am just another addict who got help from others here when I was a pathetic, depressed ball of wimpering goo.
Thanks to Chezz, Methman, Mike/Hippy, Lisabet, 1Day, Golden 1, Vicojen, Suzee, and of course Thomas, and the moderately new guys like you and the rest who are still here - I owe you guys my life.
Rex
I am just another addict who got help from others here when I was a pathetic, depressed ball of wimpering goo.
Thanks to Chezz, Methman, Mike/Hippy, Lisabet, 1Day, Golden 1, Vicojen, Suzee, and of course Thomas, and the moderately new guys like you and the rest who are still here - I owe you guys my life.
Rex
Rex,
Much like God gave you your wife & kids to save you from you...He gave us YOU to save us from us. I thank God every night for SO many things & I'll tell you buddy...You're right up there near the top of that list. Keep up the GREAT work here. You are appreciated more than any keyboard could type.
FINISHED!!
Much like God gave you your wife & kids to save you from you...He gave us YOU to save us from us. I thank God every night for SO many things & I'll tell you buddy...You're right up there near the top of that list. Keep up the GREAT work here. You are appreciated more than any keyboard could type.
FINISHED!!
What a thoughtful story. Thanks for giving us all a glimpse into this tought ime in your life. I hope thaT YOU ARE ABLE to stay clean.
I am at 50 days today and although I still have up and down days, they are all so much better than when I was on the Norcos.
And the pain is really minimal. I think sometimes God gave me my kids and wife to save me from myself - without them, I would probably be in a gutter right now, or a cardboard box on the street!
Thanks again,
Rex
I am at 50 days today and although I still have up and down days, they are all so much better than when I was on the Norcos.
And the pain is really minimal. I think sometimes God gave me my kids and wife to save me from myself - without them, I would probably be in a gutter right now, or a cardboard box on the street!
Thanks again,
Rex
I know what you mean, doc shopping got to be too much of a hassle! Since I had "tapped out" every DR and dentist within a 100 mile radius, I decided to phone in my own scripts. I got away with it a few times before I was arrested. Since this was my first offense, I was released on a personal recognizant bond. This happened in Jan 02. You'd think I would have learned my lesson. The next day I started phoning in more scripts using a different doc. Who knows how many times I did it. This continued until I was arrested again in May 02. (Sooner or later, you will get caught.) This time I wasn't so lucky, I couldn't get a bond. I wasn't able to make a phone call until 5 hours later. No one had any idea where I was, my kids were left at daycare until my husband got a phone call. You can imagine what it was like to call him from jail. I can't imagine hell being any worse than withdrawals in jail!! A week later my attorney arranged for a bond hearing and I was released on bond. I thank God that my husband was supportive and stood by me. "For better or worse, in sickness and in health", he said. I went to court, plead guilty to 5 felony counts of prescription fraud and was given indefinte probabation and 10 years in jail. The judge suspended all but 30 days. This addiction has cost my family over $16,000 in legal fees and fines, not to mention the thousands spent on pills. Being arrested and spending time in jail was a blessing. It saved my life. I went to an outpatient rehab program (for the 4th time) and I've been clean since May 22, 2002. There are many times I'd love a few norco or vicoprofen, but I think about my arrests and that 10 year jail sentence hanging over me head. My nine year old daughter likes to pick out dresses for me to wear on special occassions, I wouldn't want her to pick out a dress to bury me in! Please take care of yourself. My prayers are with you.
You are so right! I'd take detox at home over detox in jail any day. While I was there, I witnessed a 19 year old kick heroin. It was awful, I felt so bad for her. She laid in bed screaming with cramps for hours and the b**** nurse refused to call a doctor or do anything for her. There was another woman who was on her way to state prison for 3 years for 61 counts of prescription fraud. I was very lucky to have all but 30 days of my sentence suspended!
As far as DEA numbers - I once called a doctor's office pretending to be the pharmacy and asked for a DEA #. They gave it to me, no questions asked! The numbers are also printed on most prescription pads. Hell, some pharmacies didn't even ask for it. I agree, some pharmacists don't care.
As far as DEA numbers - I once called a doctor's office pretending to be the pharmacy and asked for a DEA #. They gave it to me, no questions asked! The numbers are also printed on most prescription pads. Hell, some pharmacies didn't even ask for it. I agree, some pharmacists don't care.
I think you will be risking serious jail time.
If you are doing this, please consider stopping. What's worse than detox? Detox in jail. Or losing your job, your family...
Rex
If you are doing this, please consider stopping. What's worse than detox? Detox in jail. Or losing your job, your family...
Rex
Hello-
I feel for you. Ive been there ALOT. Just last week when I started my cold turkey detox I looked into my bottle of Anitriptaline(sp) its a anti-depressant I use for sleep and thought to myself to take 20 or so and just be over it. And something inside me realized that I knew I had to do something to make myself come back to the girl I used to know. It's hard to fathem a drug that can take away our worries, our aches, and pains and actually do so much damage to ourselves. You are worth every living minute of the day. It may not seem that way right now, but you ARE. If you ever need to talk Im here. Im thinking about you and hope your okay.
Erika
I feel for you. Ive been there ALOT. Just last week when I started my cold turkey detox I looked into my bottle of Anitriptaline(sp) its a anti-depressant I use for sleep and thought to myself to take 20 or so and just be over it. And something inside me realized that I knew I had to do something to make myself come back to the girl I used to know. It's hard to fathem a drug that can take away our worries, our aches, and pains and actually do so much damage to ourselves. You are worth every living minute of the day. It may not seem that way right now, but you ARE. If you ever need to talk Im here. Im thinking about you and hope your okay.
Erika
You must be in a lot of emotional turmoil right now. Thats why youre thinking suicide.. its not really you thats thinking this, its the drugs. Just think it through, what your kids will have to endure if you kill yourself.
Ive been that route and thankfully didnt pull the trigger. Just go one day at a time. Call a suicide hotline, check into a respite for a few days if you have to. Believe me once youve learned to differenciate between your real thoughts and the drug induced dispair youll be amazed at how good life can be.
You can kick that habit, Im on day 11 off a heavy morphine habit. I feel like a new person and am still getting better every day. You can to.
Be there for your kids. Be there for yourself.
We are praying for you.
DM
I know it's tough right now but you can do it. Please, please get any thought of suicide out of your mind, my father killed himself when I was 15 and my mother was dying of cancer. I am now 43 and still have the effects of that. For you and your family please let someone help you. I'll be thinking of you!
teeitup!
teeitup!
Please consult a professional counselor. Detox and the abuse of medication causes the brain to play evil tricks on us to try to get us to use. It is all a trick and you need help to outsmart it. The brain actually thinks that you can not go on without the dtugs but the truth is that you can. Many people here are proof of that it can be done. You have to speak up to get help, reach out to someone, anyone! Pamela
Thanks for your advice on the Ultracet/Paxil question. If I stopped using the Paxil for a week or so would it then be OK to use the Ultracet? Or does Paxil stay in your system for quite sometime? I only have a couple of days worth of Darvocet left so hopefully I will feel better and not need the Ultracet. Sometimes the aches just get so bad. Good days and bad days...you know how it goes. Thanks for all your help and support! God Bless!
hello. i too, like most everyone on this board, will be dealing with addiction in one way or the other for the rest of our lives. i was addicted to narcotic pain pills - mostly vicodin - until i tried changing a script and was arrested. luckily, i was a first time offender and i was able to take a drug program, pay fines and get tested for a year instead of jail or probation and afterwards the offense was 'supposedly' removed from my record. then i relapsed until i started feeling popping noises in my ear and i searched the internet and found that heavy vicodin users have experienced a rare form of sudden complete hearing loss (it's true, search yahoo). so i freaked and thought i was going deaf, almost convincing myself of it and got off the pills again.
i have also been dealing with depression in some form or another for over 10 years - i'm 28 - and contemplated suicide on many occasions, although i never actually tried it. and i read where you might have last night by taking 20 klonopin.
you can get through this. but you need to talk to someone. and not just through a computer. be it a group or 1 on 1 or better yet both, talking to someone could really help you at a time like this and if you did actually try and kill yourself - only you can answer that one - it is imperative that you do so. you don't have to go through this alone. i have both a psyche and a therapist who are very understanding and have helped me through my pain and problems. please try and find someone to talk to - even if it is just a friend or family member.
and lastly, you have to stop - and you know this too - calling in prescriptions over the phone. you will get arrested and i'm guessing that as bad as detox is, jail is probably 10 times worse.
good luck and again know you are not alone in this battle.
i have also been dealing with depression in some form or another for over 10 years - i'm 28 - and contemplated suicide on many occasions, although i never actually tried it. and i read where you might have last night by taking 20 klonopin.
you can get through this. but you need to talk to someone. and not just through a computer. be it a group or 1 on 1 or better yet both, talking to someone could really help you at a time like this and if you did actually try and kill yourself - only you can answer that one - it is imperative that you do so. you don't have to go through this alone. i have both a psyche and a therapist who are very understanding and have helped me through my pain and problems. please try and find someone to talk to - even if it is just a friend or family member.
and lastly, you have to stop - and you know this too - calling in prescriptions over the phone. you will get arrested and i'm guessing that as bad as detox is, jail is probably 10 times worse.
good luck and again know you are not alone in this battle.
oh well it did not work my tolerance is too high for anything. I don't want to leave my kids but I just want this all to go away....
I agree with Rex, you need to see a doctor or therapist/counselor right away. Or even call a hotline! You definitely need immediate help and I know myself, I sure don't feel any way qualified to give you any advise if you are that determined to end your life. Please call someone, we will all be there if you need to talk or vent.
Sharon
(My prayers and thoughts are with you)
Sharon
(My prayers and thoughts are with you)
Hi everyone, I can see myself in just about every story you guys have. Very interesting stuff, I have just went cold turkey (had too) and am struggling to stay away from my old "friend". Have been an addict for over 10 years, now that I am away I feel much better, but it just keeps calling my name. Am still drug free, it is a stuggle everyday. Hope everyone there stays strong if you have stopped and get mad about it if you havn't and use that to make yourself stronger. Life is much better clean, keeping it is the hard part for me...good luck to all
I feel your pain. I know what it's like to have an addiction bad enough to where you will call your stuff into the pharmacy. But there is hope.I never thought I would stop taking these pills, but i'm so close to quitting, and it feels so good to have some control over my life back. If you need anything the people on this board will help you, they are wonderful, and if you ever need to talk just IM me @ Bungee7! Hang in there,
-Anthony
-Anthony
You need to call a suicide hotline or a doctor right away.
Am I reading this right - you actually attempted suicide last night?
I will pray for you today in hops that God will instill in you the sense of worth and value that you deserve.
What will your kids do without their mom? I hope and pray that you contact a doctor and a family member the minute you read this.
Dr. Horvath - any suggestions?
Rex
Am I reading this right - you actually attempted suicide last night?
I will pray for you today in hops that God will instill in you the sense of worth and value that you deserve.
What will your kids do without their mom? I hope and pray that you contact a doctor and a family member the minute you read this.
Dr. Horvath - any suggestions?
Rex
Hi guys I have been floating around the forum for quite somtime and you all amaze me. I love opiates to the tune where I don;t doc shop I just call them in myself acting like a doctor. I would love to say it works great but I have a court case pending from last year you would think that would straiten me up but no I still keep on doin it. I usually call in tussionex or hycodan where each bottle is the equivalent of taking 45 vico's and I drink that down in a single day. The reason I use that is people don't look at you as weird when you are picking up cough syrup as opposed to pain meds. I detoxed in patient over x-mas but once again I have been doing it for the last 4 days (did not have any yesterday and today) But I did take 20 klonopin's last night in hopes that I would not be here today and look it did not work. I hate those things anyway they make me feel like a slug at least with the opiates I feel like supermom.. I don't know if I will go through the hell again. Will I? Thanks any help would be appreciated.
Wow man Congrats to you.. my hats off to you! You did it all on your own huh? That is amazing!
I too am almost clean! Just a few more days of this withdrawal hell! I guess it is worth going thru so we wont put ourselves in this bind again to have to do it again!
But right now i am experiencing grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Peace to your new life!
Suzie
I too am almost clean! Just a few more days of this withdrawal hell! I guess it is worth going thru so we wont put ourselves in this bind again to have to do it again!
But right now i am experiencing grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Peace to your new life!
Suzie
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