Addiction

[minime]

After about 2 years, I finally found an addictionologist in my area.  He is licensed to prescribe Subutex.  It is the "new" Buprenorphine only it comes in tablet form and is much stronger than the old version.  The only glitch is we cannot find any pharmacies that have it.  He could buy it directly from the manufacturer but it would cost him $700 - that is the smallest amount he can purchase at one time.  He won't do it.  He charges $175 per hour and I'm sure once the Subutex is available it will be expensive.  There are no breaks for addicts in this country.  I've waited a long time for this but now it seems like it will just be a big money thing like Methadone.  I'm really depressed now and I feel like there is not a lot of hope.  Is anyone else out there been trying to find this medication?

[vikequeen]

I too am having a hard time, I was gonna do a 2 day out patient detox using the buprenex until they told me I had to pay for it. It costs about 400 for a 2 week supply and ins does not cover it so my hopes were dashed once more, A lot of detox places even for in patient have dropped out of my ins so I have no options anymore. I will have to go cold turkey cause right now all my pill resources are gone. Badd

[minime]

I'm sorry you are having a tough time.  I am mad today reading this forum.  There just isn't enough help available to treat this horrible "disease".  I wish we could get every addict in the country together to storm up to the White House in protest of the treatment (or lack of) we get.  The Center for Substance Abuse Treatment is going to post a list of the doctors who are licensed to prescribe the Subutex.  They say it will happen in a couple weeks.  We'll see.  Maybe if you call them they can hook you up with someone near you?  I wish I had more answers.

[Rex1]

Day 48 guys! Getting better each day.

I am in very little, or no pain right now, other than the headaches. From what I have been reading, these may go away once I am off the ibuprofen completely. Just taking one per day in evening.

Thanks to all here who have helped so much.

"For those about to detox, we salute you..."

Seriously, if you are planning to detox, or thinking about it, or planning on planning, or just procrastinating, I say "Come on in the water's fine."

You will never know the feeling of freedom until you go through that week of hell, but it is all worth it.

Let me know if I can help in any way.

Rex

[Bungee7]

Rex,

Your posts give me so much inspiration. I am planning on detoxing starting Friday(because i'll have five days off from work--due to the flu:)I am honestly scared to death. But I know I have support, I have my boyfriend(who is going to stay home with me for those days), I have NA now, and I have this forum and all of you wonderful people. Wish me luck everybody!

-Anthony

[sharonver]

I just found a doctor in my area liscenced to prescribe bup. I have an app't soon to see him. He did not mention anything to me about the expense, so I have no idea what i will be facing when I get there. He did mention that the pharmacies are having problems with regulation, hoping it will be solved soon. Anyways I have no idea if my insurance will cover this med I am on anthem blue cross/blue shield with work.  But I will be finding out soon and I will let people know what happened here in CT.

Sharon

[Sturgil]

First let me say that L-Tyrosine and B6 work beyond my wildest dreams. I am on Day 37 of a 3 year 15 to 20 a day 10/500 Tabs as well as 10+ Soma 350 addiction. As with all of us, this was not my first time dumping the drugs. However this time I went to Detox for a week. I attend IOP and AA everyday.(Our AA has more old timers than the NA group.) I have learned that the drugs are only 10% of the problem...I am 90%. My negative thoughts and pitty parties are what cause me to use. Everyone always says that when they got clean people died, they lost their jobs, wife left them and so on..well I now can see that this is LIFE. What we do when problems arise and how we think will keep us clean or,if we let it, push us to use.

Here is what has been successful for me thus far:
Tons of Prayer
Going to Meetings
Call my Sponsor
Work the Steps
Reading the BIG BOOK
Reading the Bible
Doing my best to tell the truth
Telling my Doctor
Firing some friends

Remember this H.A.L.T. are triggers. Hunger, Anger, Loneliness (sp) Tired. For the most part life is a trigger.

We all must stick together if we are to make it.

As far as tapering, you are only extending the WD's. Get mad at the drugs and flush them. God's Speed to all.

Where is Thomas? Thank you for the advice on the L-Tyrosine and B6.

- Sturgil

[saveyourself]

Hey Brother,

OUTSTANDING !!! Thanks for your posts during my WD and your personal interest in my well being.  Your right about that freedom, no more sitting in Dr. offices for hours, lieing about how much pain I have ect.  For me,  I am so grateful not to have to deal with the pharmacists, the few that are compassionate, I respect, the others there were times when I would want to pull them over the counter and say just fill the friggin script, you little dweeb.  What can I say, I am an addict who wants what he wants when he wants it.

Today, I am a recovering addict taking it a day at a time and realizing the biggest problem for me is between my ears.  It was my best thinking that got me addicted.  It wasn't like when I was 10 years old, I said, gee when I grow up, I want to be a drug addict.

Once again, congradulations and I salute you!!!
Strength and Honor
Greg

[kebby]

Hey Guy, did you happen to see 20/20 last night? They did a segment on "rebound" headaches! Bottom line was that all of the OTC pain meds will cause severe rebound headaches if you take them on a regular basis. They said probably 2-3 days a week, on a regular basis. Anyway if you want to read more, you can go the the ABC website and look it up. It explained that people who take these meds often, actually cause the nerve receptors to fire up strongle once the dose you just took wears off...triggering people to reach for more!!! They actually had people who go to detox (inpatient) to get off these meds!

Also, it is funny, I also lived in S.fl. and now Atlanta, wonder if I'm going West next? ;)

[suzieneedshelp]

Goo d honest thread.  Sharon had a website that listed Dr's in your area with the bup.  Maybe one of em has it on hand or knows how to get it i dont know.  But..you can detox wihtout it!  We are all proof of that!  I am now in my last days  of detoxing at home from stadol and ultram.  Yes i am nauseated, runs, shakes, rls, etc.. but this too will pass!   Peac e and courage to you all who are wondering if you can do it.  I agreee that flush that **** down the  toilet but i di d not do it that way.  Used all i had first.  Oh well...at least now i have no access to that deivl anymore!  I am so relieved that i will be free from it.  And yes, na or aa is awesome.  I had a friend who steeered me in that direction from here and he was absolutely correct in its program and its efffectiveness in becoming, staying clean and how much it can add to your spiritual growth and way to live liffe more fuly in all aspects!  
Peace, love, hugs, to all!
Suzie

[hippy]

so is there any good news for people who are taking bup.
after reading the 1st post it sounds like and impossible situation for addicts to look foward to bup as a solution.


peace hippy

[Rex1]

It's been a while since I heard from you my friend.

How ya doin?

Rex

[suzieneedshelp]

I just e-mailed him i am also worried about him..
Suzie

[Sturgil]

Any update on Thomas? I do not see any post from him since last year.

- Sturgil

[saveyourself]

Hey Dude,

That is the most accurate, concise how to maintan the recovery process I have ever read.  Well said and well done.

I am 34 days opiate free and am activly doing all in your post.  I used the Thomas Recipe to, I hope all is well with him.  

Strength and Honor
Greg

[Rex1]

Thomas Detox Recipe

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas

This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.

For the Recipe, You'll need:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.

2. Imodium (immodium) (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).

3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.

4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.

5. Vitamin B6 caps.

6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium (immodium) aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.

[Sis1]

Hello, I use to post here a lot.
I've noticed this forum is mostly filled with topics on opiate/pill related addictions. Anyone think it's become an epidemic? or do you think it's an old problem that just more people are coming forward with? I definitely think it's nothing new to some people, but I do think it's become more of a problem and I do believe it's an epidemic. I live in the state of Maine, we've had over 28 overdoses related to pills throughout the year, that's a state record & it seems to be hitting kids, not just adults. Which is abnormal, because pills were never really the drug of choice among teens & younger kids. I've been suffering from this addiction for years now, I'm only 20. I've gotten to the point where if I don't take them, within a day, hours, I become shaky and the withdrawal symptoms continue to get worse. I almost look at it as what a heroin addict would go through if he/she was denied usage of heroin. Which is weird because I remember back on how I would view people like that. I basically play a game of chess against myself, I refuse to seek help for my addiction through any medical facility because I know that's an automatic "red flag" a term used here for when you're shut off from getting anymore pain killers from hospital/doctors. Unfortunately I think this is a game I won't win. I can feel things in my body acting abnormally, sadly I believe I've probably caused irreversible liver damage and who knows what else opiate abuse can cause. I've certainly fell victim to this legal drug. I look back on what I once considered a skill, being able to convince the doctors to prescribe me narcotics for a nonexistent injury. Now I feel like just collapsing at their feet and pleading for help, but instead I use my ability to manipulate and walk out with another bottle of pills. This certainly sucks, I was once a girl with high hopes on a path to success, now I'm another hopeless case, slowly killing myself, I ask myself all the time, how is this possible? It's unfortunate and I feel for the people in similar situations as I am. -Sis

[madeline]

Hey Anthony,

Let me know how you do on detox.  I just
got the job I have been waiting for
so it blew a cold turkey detox out of
the window.  I am on percocet and found out
I cant take any days off till after
probation for this job.  I am going to
try to taper down and then hopefully
when I can take days off it will only
be a few. I am interested in knowing
of anyone who has succesfully taperd
off of percocet.  Can it be done, or does
it have to be CT.  So afraid of that.

Thanks guys for listening
Madeline

[DubeMechanic]

Hey, youre here admitting the problem; thats half the battle.

We all know what you mean. What doses etc are you on and how long?

Youre 20, you can beat this.

Im on day 9 or 10 from a 100 microgram duragesic patch, about the same as 600 mg oral morphine. Plus bunches of OC 40s here and there.

You can try to taper (I did a few months ago) and I got pretty far, down to 1/12 my regular dose, then relapsed. Oops..

Then last wens I quit cold turkey, It wasnt anywhere as bad as I though and it probably wont be for you either.

Get back on that road to success. The pills will just stagnate you.

Keep posting here, we'll all be here for you.

God Bless

DM

[minime]

Unless you are loaded with cash, you might want to call this doctor and find out what costs are involved.

The manufacturer wants to make money off this venture, so you can be SURE the drug won't be cheap.  The bup that is out now is called Buprenex (liquid) and it is very very expensive.  Plus my doctor charges $175/hour and wants to see me twice a week.  I could do a 1/2 hour session which would be $100 but I don't see what I'd get from so little time.  I'm really stuck

I read somewhere on this thread that someone said we didn't "need" Buprenorphine to detox.  This is true.  However if  a person wants to be tapered down while stilll maintaining their job and lives, this is a very painless way to do it.  I don't really have the luxury of taking a lot of time off from work and from past experiences detoxing, I would need it.  And, some people might want to be "maintained" on it like they would Methadone.  

The point is that this med is nearly impossible to find at this point and it is very frustrating.

[sharonver]

I will ask him when he calls to make the app't.  They are waiting for the questionaire that I filled out first before they even decide if they are going to see me. I don't think that they are using the liquid form here.  They are using subonex (pill form)which is probably less expensive. I too am trying to taper off meth while I continue to work, it isn't easy.  I do not want to maintain on bup. just get through the last of the meth detox.

Sharon

[hippy]

i have watched thomas not post for months.
when people so gifted  do the rimbaud thing
they almost gain mythic statis.
thomas is so elequent , n his receipe
speaks for it self.
i do hope he is fine.

peace !!!!!!!!!!

[suzieneedshelp]

i AM in regular contact wiht the infamous Thomas. (lol) Have not heard from him now in about 3 days.  I'll let you  know when i hear from him.
Thanks REx for posting his recipe!  I noticed many need it lately!
You're da man!
Suzie

[Sturgil]

As you might of read I am on day 38 of a Hydro and Soma ride from heck. 15 to 20 of the 10/500 hydros a day and 10 of the Soma 350mg all in one day. I have tried cold turkey, I never seemed to make it stick. Last month I went to Detox for the first time. I was there a week, they really took care of me and I did see just how far along I am in my addiction. When the pain gets bad enough we will make a move to stop. Right now you can not feel anything. If you do stop the first day you will start to get a little of your feelings back. Cry, pray and get mad at the drugs. Most of all get help. One day you will look back at the drugs and thank them for all the things they have taught you. Before we can be successful we must learn the workings of this disease and understand how to handle LIFE.

The Thomas receipe (sp) is great. However I did not use the Benzo's. Remember you can do it, but you need to get the proper tools to get and stay sober. Our secret lives are a big burden to us, we can do tell anyone because they will not understand. Here in this forum they do understand. Also in NA and AA they understand.

Keep us posted, we all want to help. Experience, Strength and Hope will be found here, at Church, and at AA.

God's speed.

- Sturgil

Thomas where are you?

[suzieneedshelp]

Tapering is very hard for us addicts.  Most CANNOT do it on their own.  I coudl not!  So...you need a friend/ family member to help you and dole them out as planned..without your chance of locating the stash!  Do not put yourself in the situation where they call to you 24/7..cuz they do!  Your mind plays tricks on you to convince you that "well just today, one more wont hurt, i won't take more tomorrow"!  Yeah right!
Peace!
Suzie

[suzieneedshelp]

But wiht the strategies i mentioned above.. YOU CAN DO IT!
Peace!
Suzie

[rainman]

Good day to all! I am now in day #7 of cold turkey w/d from MS Contin (morphine). I think I am doing OK. Yesterday seemed to be a "hump day" for me. It seemed like I felt better yesterday than I did all week. I still have the "hot flashes" occasionally and my sleep is pretty broken up. I also still have the leg and body aches but nowhere near as bad as earlier in the week. I have been using Darvocet to help with the body aches and they seem to help. I only have a couple of days worth left though. I do have a supply of sample Ultracets that were given to my wife for headaches. Can anyone tell me how they compare to Darvocet. I also take Paxil on a daily basis although a very small amount. I started at 20mg, then dropped to 10mg and now only take half of a 10mg daily. To tell the truth, I don't kmow if such a small amount even does anything for me. Does anyone else take Paxil and has also tried Ultracet for w/d symptom relief? If it compares to Darvocet I guess it would be OK for me to take. Or is Ultracet completely different? I just know that there will be times later in the week after I am out of the Darvocet that I will need something to help with the body aches. That is why I was wondering about the Ultracet. I don't want to call my doctor on this because he knows nothing about my problem and will question why I would be taking them. Just wondering if anyone out there has any info. for me. Thanks for all of your support this past week. I can't believe it is actually day #7! I will get there! God Bless!

[earlygrayce]

Nice to see that you are back. Honestly, your posts here used to irritate me and a few others because it seemed like you were patronizing addiction and lying to yourself about being addictied. However, your previous post really makes me think you have come to grips with your problem and your words come across as very, very mature. I hope you succeed in getting clean and staying clean. I, like you, used to be be impressed with my ability to manipulate and lie to a Dr. to get pills but, like you again, no longer see that as a positive trait and wonder sometimes how I ever could have before. So just remember that someone else out there probably feels a lot like you about themselves or their addiction and understand that you are not alone. Take care of yourself and I truly hope you have success in life. The wise insight you expressed about yourself and addiction in your last post makes me think you really deserve it.

[Bungee7]

My detox time is nearing. I will be taking my last pill on Thursday and tapering in the mean time. I am so scared that this won't work and I will relapse. Do any of you have any suggestions on my upcoming "in-house rehab"? And any thoughts on relapse? As I said I am scared to death, so I really need some encouraging words. Thanks,

-Anthony

[Rex1]

If you are only 20 years old, I have great news for you -- your whole adult life is still in front of you, but obviously you know that.  

What is it exactly that you are afraid of regarding talking to your doctor? Simply tell them that you have become chemically dependent on these pills and you would like to get off of them.  It may be advantageous to you to see the help of an addictiononlogist, or at least a pain management specialist.

The biggest challenge for you is one that you have already accomplished -- admitting that you have a problem.  Like myself, the biggest mistake that you could make is believing that you can get off of these pills by yourself.  I did this for the better part of four years, and failed over and over.  It was not until I found this forum that I realized this would be a serious struggle, and one for which I would need help.

Sis1, in the end I needed assistance from a pain management specialist, my wife, the unbelievably tremendous people on this forum, and most importantly, God in heaven. I also used the Thomas recipe, exercise, lots of water and a bunch of other stuff.

I collectively referred to these things as "my weapons" against my addiction.  My advice to you is to use these weapons in your own battle.

In my humble opinion, you cannot do it alone.  Step 1 of AA/NA agrees with that philosophy.

Let us know if we can be of assistance,

God's grace to you...

Rex

[lifeisbetter]

Did you know that 90% of the things we all worry about don't actually come true? You have stayed constant on your target date, you've got someone there to help you get through this, you sound like your really ready... so you are gonna make it! The fear of withdrawel is definately what made my habit last so much longer. The withdrawel was the easy part the tormenting I did to myself day in and day out,just "thinking" about quitting was the real horror. No, its not gonna be fun but it's amazing how strong the mind is. You can use it either way. You can convince yourself to feel really really bad or to feel ok. If you had the flu for real you wouldn't be spending weeks before you got it wondering how bad its gonna be. It just happens. I would really try to stay focused on what you are doing right now and what your supposed to do next. Stay in the moment for now and when Thursday comes get through each withdrawel pain one day at a time. I would tell myself "ok I can do this the rest of the day and if I want to I'll take a pill tommorow. When the next day came I told myself "I'm not gonna blow it now I've come this far and I can tolerate this a little longer" and so on and so on until its been almost 13 monthes. Just remember the hot bath thing and try to really eat well this week stock up on the calories and fluids you'll need them. Be sure to have lots of Gatoraide this weekend and keep posting. You can do it. :0)

[Bungee7]

lifeisbetter,

Thanks, you always make me feel so much better! I really think I can do it. I'm just going to take your advice--stay focused and DO IT! Thanks so much for all the advice and little hints to make this easier. I definently will keep you all updated.

-Anthony

[ladymp72]

I am trying to recover from severe opiate abuse and on the verge of suicide can anyone help me get through this

[suzieneedshelp]

We are all addicts here.  I am just in withdrawl now from strong opiate. Wut do u take>?  How long?  How much? Do u have insurance?  Does anyone know?  I am sorry for all the questins but the people here are great and they need to know as much as possible to help u.  wut is your story?  Did you have pain or just use?
E-mail me if you wnat at ***@****
Peace to your soul!
Suzie

[DubeMechanic]

It sounds like youve hit rock bottom. Well, sometimes thats what it takes to shock you into action.

What are you on and for how long. We all have been near (or at) where you are now.

Last year I had a Burnelli M90 autoloading shotgun barrel in my mouth and was 7 pounds of trigger pressure from death. It was my bottom.

Suicide is not the answer. Facing your problems is not as bad as you might think. It almost never is. Its the fear that keeps us from acting. What are your fears? Im sure they seem much larger than they really are.

Please, let us help. Keep posting.

God Bless

DM

[lifeisbetter]

The only way I can help is to tell you that your among friends here and we really do understand what your feeling right now. I promise you this, there is life after opiates. Alot of us have probably considered suicide as an option, at one time or another, to get us out of the misery of opiate addiction. I remember, during one of my many futile attempts to detox at home, that I actually thought my kids would be better off if I just killed myself, I thought they could at least be raised by someone "normal, stabile, a mom who liked the sunlight and kept a normal schedule".  I never could do it though. I guess somewhere deep down I knew it wasn't true and that my kids loved and needed me. Back then I existed and only for my kids. I was however, really afraid there may be some truth to the "hell" thing that I had learned about as a child. Seriously, I didn't have much knowledge of a "higher power" back then but what I did know about hell (constant excruciating emotional and physical torture for all of eternity) I wasn't risking it.

When you say you are trying to recover from opiate addiction does that mean you are just getting clean? If you are, just keep telling yourself this is only temporary, the suicidal depression you feel now will go away in just a matter of days. Just hang on a little longer. If you really feel like suicide is an option you owe it to yourself and those who love you to call 911 and tell them you are thinking about it. You can get help for your addiction that way and you'll be safe. I promise life is so much better when your done and there's been some time between you and the pills. That's coming from someone who was snorting 4 80 mg's of Oxycontin a day! I've been clean now for almost 13 months and rarely have a craving for the pills.
Don't just disappear and become another statistic on some governmental list. You have to fight this. You are one among many people with the same addiction, but if you become a statistic on the recovery list you will not only NOT disappear you will become instrumental in helping someone else get through this because you've been there and know how to get out, a welcome change for your badly beaten self esteem. Hold on for one more day, things could be looking up tommorow and you should be here to see it. There is a reason for your pain, one that you can't understand right now but, After you get clean you will look back and the reason for all this will be made perfectly clear. It happens in a moment...when you least expect it. The moment you find your "purpose" in life.  Don't miss that moment it may come just once in a lifetime. Please keep posting you'll see how much everyone will care for you.

(((HUGS))) to my new friend.

[theGolden1]

Please be careful! You cannot take ultracet with paxil unless you want to have a seizure. Do a search on ultram or tramadol and you can read all about it. In the meantime ... I wish I could tell you something definate. All these drugs are dirt. (smile) You are doing so well ... keep going. I'm a firm believer in good old fashioned tylenol for pain and of coarse a long hot bath. I'm definately going to try that L-tyrosine and B6 when the time comes ... for now, I'm working up to it ..... Goldie

[Sis1]

Thanks for all of your replies.
Early, I understand where you are coming from when you said my posts use to irritate you because you thought I was patronizing addiction and refusing to fully accept mine. I do sometimes make fun of serious things. It wasn't to be cruel, I was probably just trying to lighten up someones view on their situation. For the questions asked about how many pills I take a day, I've lost track. I take a mixture of everything. OC's, Darvocets, Ms-Contin, Tylox, Vicodin, whatever. It all just depends on how much money I have and what's available. I have to stay stocked up, and usually start by taking 2-3 of whatever in the morning and continue to pop one-two at a time throughout the day. I am prescribed Klonopin, although I hate the feeling they give me, they are so much different then opiates, but I hear these can be used as a tapering medication? -Sis

[unpilled1]

I'm a 39y.o. guy who's been reading this forum for several weeks, but never posted. I've read & used the tips, suggestions and incredible themes of support & encouragement. Now, I must thank ALL of you for your words, wisdom, and "can-do-it" attitude as I am 8 days clean from hydrocodone hell! I did a tapering regimen on my own and struggled through the few early days of w/d'l hell & now I'm coming out of the otherside and beginning to feel reborn and good (not quite 100% normal). This forum has been a stronghold for me throughout ... God bless you all!

Bungee7(Anthony)- I have read your posts with intensity, as I see myself in your story. I want you to know that this is a noble effort on your part! YOU CAN DO THIS!! I want you to know that I am a mere few (12) days ahead of you in this process & I feel compelled to offer help anytime it's needed. I pray that this will be your first and last detox. It is not the first for me, but please understand that each detox IS worse than it's predecessor - and I don't believe I could survive another one, so, I intend -day by day- for this to have been my last detox.

[lifeisbetter]

Congratulations! Good job! Eight days!!! can you believe it? Remember, when you couldn't make it 2 hours? Keep posting and its a good idea to get some local support, even just one other person that has been through hydrocodone addiction. You are so right, each withdrawel does get worse and lasts longer! Also, as I'm sure you know since you've done this before, your facing a few tough days, the days when it seems perfectly logical to take "just one since I've been so good".Keep yourself ready for that moment. Train your brain now to think it through from the pill to the end. It will help to try and remember the last 3 days before you detoxed as well as the detox itself.
I'm so glad your there for Anthony. Sometimes its easier when you're just about to detox to relate to someone who's just been through it. You've already started to give back and it sounds like your really grateful. They say a grateful addict won't relapse. So welcome and congrats again!

[unpilled1]

thanks for your post. You are SO right- I've already had one of those "just one pill" days. Fortunately, I didn't fall into the "I'll keep a few just in case" trap - done that one before (= relapse). I'm going to NA/AA meetings daily - even through the worst days of w/d'l. Thanks, again.

[suzieneedshelp]

Wow man Congrats to you.. my hats off to you!  You did it all on your own huh?  That is amazing!  
I too am almost clean!  Just a few more days of this withdrawal hell!  I guess it is worth going thru so we wont put ourselves in this bind again to have to do it again!
But right now i am experiencing grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Peace to your new life!
Suzie

[ladymp72]

Hi guys I have been floating around the forum for quite somtime and you all amaze me. I love opiates to the tune where I don;t doc shop I just call them in myself acting like a doctor. I would love to say it works great but I have a court case pending from last year you would think that would straiten me up but no I still keep on doin it. I usually call in tussionex or hycodan where each bottle is the equivalent of taking 45 vico's and I drink that down in a single day. The reason I use that is people don't look at you as weird when you are picking up cough syrup as opposed to pain meds. I detoxed in patient over x-mas but once again I have been doing it for the last 4 days (did not have any yesterday and today) But I did take 20 klonopin's last night in hopes that I would not be here today and look it did not work. I hate those things anyway they make me feel like a slug at least with the opiates I feel like supermom.. I don't know if I will go through the hell again. Will I? Thanks any help would be appreciated.

[Rex1]

You need to call a suicide hotline or a doctor right away.

Am I reading this right - you actually attempted suicide last night?

I will pray for you today in hops that God will instill in you the sense of worth and value that you deserve.

What will your kids do without their mom? I hope and pray that you contact a doctor and a family member the minute you read this.

Dr. Horvath - any suggestions?

Rex

[Bungee7]

I feel your pain. I know what it's like to have an addiction bad enough to where you will call your stuff into the pharmacy. But there is hope.I never thought I would stop taking these pills, but i'm so close to quitting, and it feels so good to have some control over my life back. If you need anything the people on this board will help you, they are wonderful, and if you ever need to talk just IM me @ Bungee7! Hang in there,


-Anthony

[Nonarcs]

Hi everyone, I can see myself in just about every story you guys have. Very interesting stuff, I have just went cold turkey (had too) and am struggling to stay away from my old "friend". Have been an addict for over 10 years, now that I am away I feel much better, but it just keeps calling my name. Am still drug free, it is a stuggle everyday. Hope everyone there stays strong if you have stopped and get mad about it if you havn't and use that to make yourself stronger. Life is much better clean, keeping it is the hard part for me...good luck to all

[sharonver]

I agree with Rex, you need to see a doctor or therapist/counselor right away. Or even call a hotline!  You definitely need immediate help and I know myself, I sure don't feel any way qualified to give you any advise if you are that determined to end your life.  Please call someone, we will all be there if you need to talk or vent.

Sharon
(My prayers and thoughts are with you)

[ladymp72]

oh well it did not work my tolerance is too high for anything. I don't want to leave my kids but I just want this all to go away....

[earlygrayce]

hello. i too, like most everyone on this board, will be dealing with addiction in one way or the other for the rest of our lives. i was addicted to narcotic pain pills - mostly vicodin - until i tried changing a script and was arrested. luckily, i was a first time offender and i was able to take a drug program, pay fines and get tested for a year instead of jail or probation and afterwards the offense was 'supposedly' removed from my record. then i relapsed until i started feeling popping noises in my ear and i searched the internet and found that heavy vicodin users have experienced a rare form of sudden complete hearing loss (it's true, search yahoo). so i freaked and thought i was going deaf, almost convincing myself of it and got off the pills again.

i have also been dealing with depression in some form or another for over 10 years - i'm 28 - and contemplated suicide on many occasions, although i never actually tried it. and i read where you might have last night by taking 20 klonopin.

you can get through this. but you need to talk to someone. and not just through a computer. be it a group or 1 on 1 or better yet both, talking to someone could really help you at a time like this and if you did actually try and kill yourself - only you can answer that one - it is imperative that you do so. you don't have to go through this alone. i have both a psyche and a therapist who are very understanding and have helped me through my pain and problems. please try and find someone to talk to - even if it is just a friend or family member.

and lastly, you have to stop - and you know this too - calling in prescriptions over the phone. you will get arrested and i'm guessing that as bad as detox is, jail is probably 10 times worse.

good luck and again know you are not alone in this battle.

[rainman]

Thanks for your advice on the Ultracet/Paxil question. If I stopped using the Paxil for a week or so would it then be OK to use the Ultracet? Or does Paxil stay in your system for quite sometime? I only have a couple of days worth of Darvocet left so hopefully I will feel better and not need the Ultracet. Sometimes the aches just get so bad. Good days and bad days...you know how it goes. Thanks for all your help and support! God Bless!

[pammy0690]

Please consult a professional counselor.  Detox and the abuse of medication causes the brain to play evil tricks on us to try to get us to use.  It is all a trick and you need help to outsmart it. The brain actually thinks that you can not go on without the dtugs but the truth is that you can.  Many people here are proof of that it can be done.  You have to speak up to get help, reach out to someone, anyone!  Pamela

[teeitup]

I know it's tough right now but you can do it. Please, please get any thought of suicide out of your mind, my father killed himself when I was 15 and my mother was dying of cancer. I am now 43 and still have the effects of that. For you and your family please let someone help you. I'll be thinking of you!

teeitup!

[DubeMechanic]

You must be in a lot of emotional turmoil right now. Thats why youre thinking suicide.. its not really you thats thinking this, its the drugs. Just think it through, what your kids will have to endure if you kill yourself.

Ive been that route and thankfully didnt pull the trigger. Just go one day at a time. Call a suicide hotline, check into a respite for a few days if you have to. Believe me once youve learned to differenciate between your real thoughts and the drug induced dispair youll be amazed at how good life can be.

You can kick that habit, Im on day 11 off a heavy morphine habit. I feel like a new person and am still getting better every day. You can to.

Be there for your kids. Be there for yourself.

We are praying for you.

DM

[Erika_Ann]

Hello-
I feel for you. Ive been there ALOT. Just last week when I started my cold turkey detox I looked into my bottle of Anitriptaline(sp) its a anti-depressant I use for sleep and thought to myself to take 20 or so and just be over it. And something inside me realized that I knew I had to do something to make myself come back to the girl I used to know. It's hard to fathem a drug that can take away our worries, our aches, and pains and actually do so much damage to ourselves. You are worth every living minute of the day. It may not seem that way right now, but you ARE. If you ever need to talk Im here. Im thinking about you and hope your okay.
Erika

[Rex1]

I think you will be risking serious jail time.

If you are doing this, please consider stopping. What's worse than detox? Detox in jail. Or losing your job, your family...

Rex

[LouAnn]

You are so right!  I'd take detox at home over detox in jail any day.  While I was there, I witnessed a 19 year old kick heroin.  It was awful, I felt so bad for her.  She laid in bed screaming with cramps for hours and the b**** nurse refused to call a doctor or do anything for her.  There was another woman who was on her way to state prison for 3 years for 61 counts of prescription fraud.  I was very lucky to have all but 30 days of my sentence suspended!

As far as DEA numbers - I once called a doctor's office pretending to be the pharmacy and asked for a DEA #.  They gave it to me, no questions asked!  The numbers are also printed on most prescription pads.  Hell, some pharmacies didn't even ask for it. I agree, some pharmacists don't care.

[LouAnn]

I know what you mean, doc shopping got to be too much of a hassle!  Since I had "tapped out" every DR and dentist within a 100 mile radius, I decided to phone in my own scripts.  I got away with it a few times before I was arrested.  Since this was my first offense, I was released on a personal recognizant bond.  This happened in Jan 02.  You'd think I would have learned my lesson.  The next day I started phoning in more scripts using a different doc.  Who knows how many times I did it.  This continued until I was arrested again in May 02.  (Sooner or later, you will get caught.)  This time I wasn't so lucky, I couldn't get a bond.  I wasn't able to make a phone call until 5 hours later.  No one had any idea where I was, my kids were left at daycare until my husband got a phone call.  You can imagine what it was like to call him from jail.  I can't imagine hell being any worse than withdrawals in jail!!  A week later my attorney arranged for a bond hearing and I was released on bond.  I thank God that my husband was supportive and stood by me.  "For better or worse, in sickness and in health", he said.  I went to court, plead guilty to 5 felony counts of prescription fraud and was given indefinte probabation and 10 years in jail.  The judge suspended all but 30 days.  This addiction has cost my family over $16,000 in legal fees and fines, not to mention the thousands spent on pills.  Being arrested and spending time in jail was a blessing.  It saved my life.  I went to an outpatient rehab program (for the 4th time) and I've been clean since May 22, 2002.  There are many times I'd love a few norco or vicoprofen, but I think about my arrests and that 10 year jail sentence hanging over me head.  My nine year old daughter likes to pick out dresses for me to wear on special occassions, I wouldn't want her to pick out a dress to bury me in!  Please take care of yourself.  My prayers are with you.

[Rex1]

What a thoughtful story. Thanks for giving us all a glimpse into this tought ime in your life. I hope thaT YOU ARE ABLE to stay clean.

I am at 50 days today and although I still have up and down days, they are all so much better than when I was on the Norcos.

And the pain is really minimal. I think sometimes God gave me my kids and wife to save me from myself - without them, I would probably be in a gutter right now, or a cardboard box on the street!

Thanks again,

Rex

[FINISHED!!]

Rex,
  Much like God gave you your wife & kids to save you from you...He gave us YOU to save us from us. I thank God every night for SO many things & I'll tell you buddy...You're right up there near the top of that list. Keep up the GREAT work here. You are appreciated more than any keyboard could type.

FINISHED!!

[Rex1]

Nice of you to say, but God gets the Glory - not me.

I am just another addict who got help from others here when I was a pathetic, depressed ball of wimpering goo.

Thanks to Chezz, Methman, Mike/Hippy, Lisabet, 1Day, Golden 1, Vicojen, Suzee, and of course Thomas, and the moderately new guys like you and the rest who are still here - I owe you guys my life.

Rex

[ladymp72]

I was curious how everyone gets all their meds I thought I was the only one that called them in. No withdrawels with this relapse but it could be just because i only did it for a couple of days. Do you think I am safe to say I won't have any? This is day 3 and feeling ok. Still craving it though and would love to call one in, but I did the other day and went to go and get it and wouldn't you know it they verified it so it was a no go. My sis takes all of my money so I can't get it but I still have my ways. Isn't it weird how determined one can be to get that stuff when they have no real resources. Hell I even walked a mile to the pharmacy just to be shot down. Cussing the whole way home dreading the next day, but it has not been too bad, if I stay this sane I think I can I think I can.....

[FINISHED!!]

I give credit when credit's due...it's due!!! Of course it ALL come back to & starts with God but messengers like yourself are instrumental in His Word, works & Being. Without the likes of you, I'd still be BLAMING God instead of LOVING Him...or Her. You have shown such undying faith & strength. I thank God for Rex1. I thank Rex1 for the direction back to God.

Thank you,
FINISHED!!

[FINISHED!!]

"Calling in your own scripts?" Sound EXTREMLY risky to me. I thought there were tools in place to guard against this. Don't you need their DEA number or something like that. It just CAN'T be that easy...is it? Anyways...like you said, an addict will do almost anything to get the pills but it takes a HUGE set of brass to do THAT.

[Bungee7]

Unfortunatly it is that easy. I worked in a pharmacy for about 3 years...alot of people got away with it while I was working there, but the pharmacist rarely did anything to stop it---usually would just let it slide it seemed like. I always used to think to myself what awful people these drug addicts are. And now i'm in the same situation, a co-worker and myself have been calling in our own rx's for 6 months at multiple pharmacies...oh how I wish it weren't so easy, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation now!?!? But i've recently stopped doing it, and am getting help...so things are looking up!

-Bungee7

[FINISHED!!]

Wow!!! Again...Don't you have to have the doc's DEA number? It seems to me that whenever a script was called in for me, there was a ton of info the pharmacist needed...but then again, I pretty much used the larger chains such as Savons, Walgreens etc.
What happens when the pharmacist catches on? Do they just dismiss you without the meds? I can maybe see it working if you had already had a script & just called in a refill or two. I remember a time that my doc had called in a script for 60 Vicodin ES with 2 refills. I went to pick them up 5 hours later & the pharmacist wouldn't give them to me until he talked with the nurse. Again...WOW!!! Scary stuff. I'm glad you stopped. This sounds so risky & even at my highest point of use never would've risked this. Please continue your path to recovery. It doesn't come easily but what good thing does?...other than God & the lottery.

FINISHED!!