Advice About Alcohol?

I was hoping for some advice about alcohol. A few of you know i drank for a couple weeks recently but put an end to that fast, but I was still very disappointed in myself because I knew better. I am not craving it, but i will admit it's not easy because going to the golf course or out for dinner when someone else is having a few and not being able to drink even socially at all is sometimes tough in those situations. I truly believe I am not an alcoholic, i am an addict, no doubt about it, but i know that alcohol is a drug and if I want true sobriety then i can't drink no more. I don't crave alcohol, but it has got out of control a few times. After a year and a half of saying I should not drink, I am sticking to it this time. Does anyone have any advice about going out and not drinking when you want to have a couple? This may sound stupid, but that is when i have found it tougher. I am not talking about getting drunk like i was for a while that is over, I just mean 2 or 3 socially with the guys or on a date, lol. I guess i feel a bit embarrassed to say i can't drink or think it's ok to have just a few, BUT IT"S NOT FOR ME. Do you think it would just be easier for me to tell my friends that i refuse to even have one drink now instead of them buying me a beer when golfing or out? I have to admit, it's tough to do that even though my close friends know im an addict, they don't understand and don't think it's bad for me to have a beer or 2 when out. It is bad:(. Any advice about this?

[NautyOne]

Every place that sells alcohol had Non-Alcoholic beer.  I would drink O'douls when I was out with friends.......It has 1% alcohol in it and it tastes pretty good, and you feel like your part of the party......:-))

It worked for me.  Give it a try.......

Luv,
Nauty............

[refusingbondage]

Giz:

You know this recovery thing is not just about quitting - its about lifestyle change.  Many people shoot golf without alcohol (thereby making it even more boring---LOL OMG JUST KIDDING!!)
  
Seriously, If you don't want to tell your friends anything specific, just make it obvious that you ONLY want a juice or a soda.  Order it each time, until they get the hint. I know lots of people who go out to bars or even clubbing and just order soda (my fiancee being one of them many times).  If it is still to hard, then you might think about staying off the course until you feel stronger.  If you feel comfortable then yeah telling your friends not to ask is a GREAT preventative measure.  

[Allicat0117]

I would be honest and tell your friends. If they are true friends then they will understand. My dad is an alcoholic so I know ALL about drinking. I recently quit drinking beause I started feeling so much better after I quit popping pills and drinking would just give me a headache. I know it is hard, but you can do it. Drinking will eventually lead you back to your doc. I went to my first party sober last weekend...no pills or alcohol. everyone else was drinking. It was hard at first but after an hr or so it got alot easier. It was nice to wake up w/out a headache!!:) I used to be the life of the party!!! As my friends would say..the party didnt start till I got there! Now I realize I can still have fun and be sociable w/out the drugs and alcohol. SO If I can do it you sure as hell can too!!!! It takes alot of heart and want ....but just think about how good you feel sober.

On the other hand, if you dont want to tell your friends, make up an excuse for just drinking tea or something...health reasons or whatever, but I think you should tell them. My dad is 63 yrs old and just got out of rehab...THAT WAS SOOOO HARD FOR HIM! We live in a small town and he had to swallow alot of pride, but now that he is sober he is starting to realize that this is something he has accomplished and it PROUD of it. All of his friends and family understand. Yours will too!

[gizzy32]

My grandfather was an alcoholic, but both my parents have never used a single drug and almost never drink. I guess it skipped a generation, lol ugggg. I will tell my friends, I think it would be easier to say i don't want a beer than for them to ask. I am not ashamed to be an addict, but it's not always easy telling people in your life that you can't even have a beer, but I am going to do it. I know they will be supportive, but when you tell one person, everyone knows. I am going to put up alcohol tracker again and stick to it. I will drink a 6 pack of energy drinks, maybe i can get a buzz that way, lol. Just kidding! Thanks for the feedback.

[10356]

Hey gizzy.. I'm so glad you have come to the conclusion you do not want to drink.. The most pain I have heard in your words is when you had been drinking and cravings hit.. as far as telling friends. I did and they were supportive.. you never know who is struggling with this issue and through your honesty you may be helping another in gathering their strength to say no.. Many people get to a age where they put drinking behind them.. they do not say I'm a addict can not drink. they say no thanks gave that up as I'm getting older and find it does not do the same for me as it use to.. It changes our perceptions and relationships.. So very glad to see you back and getting the support you so richly deserve.. hugs lesa

[Allicat0117]

Great decision:)

[NautyOne]

I basically quit because I can't control alcohol......Once I start .....I can't stop!   The only time I really drink is when I am with my family......I'm sorry but that is one to three times a year, and i have to get ripped to be around them.  Seriously.

Nauty.............

[imanaddict]

I am proud of you!!! Nauty had a wonderful idea with O'Doul's. I've had it and actually liked it. Stay strong friend! I KNOW you can do this!

[gizzy32]

Screw O'Douls, I drank for the buzz, lol. JK. Tomorrow we are going to a meeting at the church. It's not N/A, but it's the same meetings i attended before and my aunt is the addiction counsellor. I remember from the last times, most were there because of pills, a few for alcohol and a lady that really helped me was addicted to crack, but clean a year. I have a lot to talk about and always felt comfortable at these ones, unlike N/A, everyone at the church is there because they want to be and not forced. Although they are only held once a week, I think this is a step in the right direction. Medhelp and meetings once a week.

[gizzy32]

I also told one of my best friends last night that I can't drink no more, not even one. I downplayed it and told him that since I am an addict, I am am a **** tank too, lol. Ok so I am gonna drink 12 redbull a day now and maybe I can get wired that way, haha. Just kidding, we all know how great life is sober. If I could only quit smoking! TY for the support:)

[avisg]

tell them your stomach has really been bothering you and alcohol makes it sooo much worse until you figure out what is going on your not going to drink

[outotown]

dont drink at all, you kicked coke you can kick the drink, you are still young, and got a long life in front of you, live it sober. Dont trade one drug for another, you know im telling you the truth Aaron

[outotown]

The differance between a drunk and an alcoholic, is this a drunk can go for weeks even months without a drink, but when they have one they dont stop till they are drunk, and then can stay drunk for days weeks even months, An alcoholic drinks everyday may not get drunk but has do drink everyday, both will kill ya AARON

[gizzy32]

I am not drinking at all now, nuttin. When i hit the golf course with the guys i can just say my stomach has been bothering me like avis said, cause when i drank recently it did so that is the truth. I was starting to feel sick for those 2 weeks of drinking. It`s ok, im done with it. Wow, I took a **** kicking for this:) But that is what helps, my guilt is over now tho.

[debbiesden]

Gizzy- you owe no one an explanation for choosing to be healthy and avoid alcohol. That's like being diabetic and thinking you have to order a sugary dessert so everyone else eating dessert wont be on your case.  Order a tonic or sprite with lime or club soda with lime if you feel you need to blend in for your own comfort. No one will ever no the difference.  If any one questions you be sweet and simple and  just say I ordered what I wanted to order and leave it at that.

Be proud that you are taking control of your life.   From your post you say you don't believe you are alcoholic but you know that alcohol and you don't mix well.  Listen to your body. Don't label yourself, it is just a word and doesn't matter.  Alcohol can be an allergy for some people.  Bottom line is some people can tolerate alcohol and others can't.   The ones that have bodies that can't tolerate alcohol  are in fact allergic to alcohol.  If your allergic to fabric softener you don't use fabric softener.  Simple as that.  I wish you the best.  Sounds like you are on the right track!

[dominosarah]

Hey gizzy.......nice to hear from you.  Here is my 2 cents worth.  There will always be alcohol around and people will always try and get you to drink with them....you will hear come on one wont hurt or you arent any fun. I still hear that from some people and i proudly give them the big bird salute!!!  I am not ashamed to tell people i am an alcoholic anymore.  I dont care what they say to me.  They can drink till the cows come home but im not going to.  I either have a diet pop or ice water.  If they dont like it they can move on.  You will find out who your friends are during this time.  Your real friends will stick by you and support you.  The others dont matter.  Once you get more comfortable in these situations you will sit back and think geez i am so glad that isnt me.  I will be waking up feeling good the next morning.  Being sober IS fun.  I dont need any chemicals to make me look and act "challenged"!!!  Stay true to yourself and take in those meetings.....you know aftercare is very important my friend.  You are such a good person gizzy.....Stand up and be proud of who you are!!!   mp

[Mandapanda17]

hiyee!!! NOW, drink an O'douls or two!! Thats my plan for our upcoming camping trips~ You know me, and drinking is not my thing, but I honestly would miss having a couple beers around the campfire during our summer camping trips :) With the sub., you can't have any drinks, period. It seems to work out for me when I do want to have a couple drinks socially. congrats, you're doing awesome!! :D

[SophieShine]

Sooooooo glad to see you're back in the saddle...
xoxoxo. sophie.

[gizzy32]

Just got back from the meeting, I feel so good. There were a few alcholics there, and a few addicted to pills. I loved it, no chants, no punks looking to score after the meeting no , it felt great:) I told them how i stopped going to meetings a long time ago after i relapsed on my way to one and felt so guilty. I talked a lot, LOL, surprise, haha. After the meeting I talked to my aunt in private and she told me i need to be attending these every Friday and to accept any drug is lethal to me, she also yelled at me:) I knew that already, but I am stubborn, lol. I saw a few older men that were alcoholics and they looked so frail. It was sad and it hit me how I WILL NOT END UP LIKE THAT. I have done so well and i have worked my *** off to stay clean, even though a couple of you disagree, guess what? I don't care what you think, lol. I am back on track and doing this for ME and my girl. Ty for the support lately and the tough love. My pity party ended this week:)

[j34]

Way to go!! I am so happy for you to reach out and ask and then seek the answer.You are doing so good.Yes as they say one is to many and a thousand never enough .