After Adderall,the void period

[1 lost dude]

For those who have kicked adderall use or abuse a good decussion about the period of time from stopping the adderall to a period in your life where you can funtion properly again with a smile.My personal experience lasted almost 2 months before i went back to adderall use and things have not changed>         Thx F

[LindaCAL]

This is a very common problem, the internet is full of posts from normal everyday people struggling to overcome the withdrawals that Adderall has left behind.  Take a look at this site for helpful information and stories.
http://www.adderalladdictionsupport.com

[JeanieDownwardSpiral]

Robin68879100--how are you doing??  I'm in the same exact boat as you....In November I finally agreed to go to rehab, and within the span of one week I checked into and then bolted from two facilities.  The anxiety and depression I was feeling were so bad that I full-on panicked.  Twice.  All I could think about was getting out of those buildings and away from everyone in them.  That's not a reflection of either facility or any of the people I met either, and I had no idea I would react that way at all!  I voluntarily checked into each facility, no one forced me to, and I was ready to just do it, you know?  But I wigged out both times!  The months since then have been just an ever-worsening nightmare.  When I run out of meds, I cannot function at all whatsoever anymore.  I don't get out of bed at all except to go to the liquor store for wine, which I drink to make me pass out...and when I wake up, I do the same thing again, over and over until I can get a scrip refill.  I don't shower, eat, answer the phone, nothing, and everyone second of time spent like that is like being in your own private ring of hell.  Things are so much worse now though because I used to think that when I had finally had enough & wanted to quit--as opposed to just knowing that I desperately needed to--then that's just what I would do: quit & get help & begin the long, hard journey back to health & hopefully mental well-being.  It never occurred to me I might not be able to do it!!  And now I'm terrified of the possibility that maybe I won't be able to pull myself out of this, ever.  Maybe I finally permanently ****** up my neuroscience to the point where no matter what I do, I will never be ok again, I'll have to live the rest of my life with horrific depression and anxiety that hurts down into my soul and never goes away.  The only thing more terrifying and horrific than that is the thought of my two little girls having to watch it.  So...I'm making plans to enter rehab #3 in a week or two.  I'm so afraid of going now, I don't even want to think about it, but I HAVE TO DO THIS.  I barely recognize myself anymore, and my interest in life and living is almost completely gone.  My love for my daughters is so strong that it hurts though and it is the only thing keeping me going at this point.  That & the very faint, tiny little flame buried deep inside my soul that still remembers what it felt like to embrace life--the good and the bad--and make plans for the future, and be excited about that future, even if I didn't know what it held for me....and to believe in myself enough to think that whatever life threw at me and whatever mistakes I made along the way, I had the strength inside of me to get through it, overcome it, and ultimately do the right thing (whatever that might be).  My belief in myself has been shaken to its core, but I owe it to my girls to dig as deep as I have to for whatever it takes to pull myself out of this miserable, sick state of existence and not miss another second of watching their precious little lives unfold.  SO........any advice on how to *not* flee from rehab would be greatly appreciated, haha!!  Third time's a charm, right?  (Please just say yes.)  Thanks for listening, if anyone's out there...  :)

[Robin68879100]

Here I am, October 16, 2014 reading your post. I think back to 2009 when this was posted and I see that I'm just as dependent on Adderall as I was then, possibly more so. I'm anemic as a result of an absorption problem and I know I used this in the beginning to justify my Adderall usage. Now my reliance takes me to some pretty desperate places. I cannot function without it and my life has fallen apart. The greater the destruction, the more desperate I become as I've convinced myself (over a period of 10 years) that I NEED it! Realizing that I'm a highly suggestive personality type doesn't seem to make a difference in my ability to reverse course. I take 300 mg of Wellbutrin as well, but it does little to counteract the depression that follows when I run out of Adderall! A path of destruction behind me that can be attributed to several factors  only further cement my attachment to Adderall usage as I feel like I can't 'give it up' until I manage to 'fix things'. It's highly illogical;knowing this intellectually doesn't seem matter! Every relationship has been affected negatively, some ruined with bridges burnt. Most of all my relationship with self. I feel incapable, inept, irresponsible and pathetic. Self-loathing and despair matched only by my extreme fatigue and lethargy. I lack all motivation. I am lost. I've tried to step back from me reliance on Adderall by taking 70 mg of Vyvanse to no avail. I abuse V. also as I keep chasing that "get up and go!" If anyone at all reads this and happens to have some words of wisdom, I'd sure appreciate it. Furthermore, if you happen to be a person of faith, please send up a prayer for me. Thanks so much!

[stopweightgain]

How can I quit Adderall w/o gaining weight?

Background: I was prescribed Adderall XR for MS fatigue last year (10mg/day) as I am allergic to most standard MS fatigue meds. It did help with the temporary fatigue, but I used it sparingly, as I didn't like the side effects.
My problem with Adderall began 1.5 months ago. In addition to MS,  I have had an eating disorder since college (I"m 50) (which I have not and will not disclose to the doctor). I have managed the disorder (a form of bulimia w/o binge eating) on my own with daily willpower; but  I am weight obsessed. Many nutritionists have told me that I have broken metabolism from  35 years of -less than  1000 or less low carb calories/day.  I gain any time I go over that amount, despite best efforts at exercise, etc. I've been told that I must eat more and gain weight so that I can reset the 'switch' but it is not going to happen. I am happy I have stopped the vomiting and I know it will return if I start to gain weight.
Recently, I did start to eat a bit more (i.e. an apple or a slice of bread,, wine), I saw my weight ballooning up to 130lbs (I am 5' 2").  I panicked and started the Adderall that I had left.  W/in a month or so I am down to 115 and got an RX for more.  I want to lose five more pounds so that I can afford to gain a few when I go off the Adderall, but I have heard horror stories that once you are off, you gain more than you lost.
  Is this true?  How can I avoid it?  I am unable to let that happen, but I hate the feeling I have on Adderall and realize that I am becoming as obsessed with how much to take and when as I am about my weight.  Currently, I thought I would take 20mg every 2 days, and then eventually only 3 days/week to wean off and avoid the weight gain. Will this work?   I want out of the  mood swings, crying, lashing out, etc., but it will be far worse if I start gaining weight.  Obviously, I am aware I have a eating disorder, so please don't address my obsession. I am proud of how I have managed it for the most part for the past 20 years. I don't want to go back to old habits, which is why I am asking about how to avoid the weight gain after stopping the Adderall.
Sorry for rambling. Thanks for listening. Any valid advice would be so appreciated..
Thank you.
-Stopweightgain

[phoenx777]

OMG....Not Joking...your post just gave me a glimmer of hope today!  I am sooooo depressed and no reason for living...I actually wrote my suicide (started out as my thoughts, then addressed my two sons, as my last words. I never knew adderall caused depression!!!  Well, let me back up...I'm currently on Effexor 150mg, Hydrocodone-10mg 2x a day (prob. average 4-6 per day), Synthroid 50mcg per day, (hyopthyroid-Dr. says, but could be pre-menopausal or straight up menopause and  Ativan-.5 mg when needed for sleep, Adderall-20mg 2x per day.  Been trying to research what the combo of all of these produces to no avale...Just so ready "to go" to a less complicated place...so Thank you...you post probably caused me pause....to stay. that I'm NOT alone (those around me are not REALLY here) If you know what I mean.  No insurance has prevented getting mental help...but it's probably all the drugs listed above, huh? I've even tried on three occasions to go to three Dr.'s to get off all meds., safely, but no luck. Thank you girlsailor for taking the time to share...just being able to relate and/or have someone to relate to was uplifting...even if only for a short period of time. How does anyone "get better" AND hold a JOB to pay the bills???  That's a huge stress, just thinking about it....ANY IDEAS OUT THERE FOLKS?  ANYONE KNOW OF FREE REHAB and how does admitting you're an addict effect your future? ie getting Jobs, insurance etc.?  Seems with instant info. your personal life is no longer personal...ANYONE, pls. comment....advise. I need the help.  THANK YOU...

[nrh88]

Thankyou for posting this. It gives me a little hope, which is a lot more than i have had lately. I can totally relate to your situation. I hope that I can actually get out and meet people after all of this. Guilt and low self-esteem have held me back in the past. I'm afraid of being socially dysfunctional forever. The adderall brought me out of depression but eventually caused me to become stuck in an empty place. But every time I come off of it I get depressed again. Even after 6 months I didn't get my personality or motivation back. I wasn't able to smile or laugh at all except one time when I drank too much. But I don't feel genuinely happy on it now either. I isolate a lot. I avoid social interaction because I get nothing out of it. I am lonely. I'm 24 and I feel like I haven't even started my life yet. I don't know how. Maybe I can re-learn social skills after some time has passed. In any case, thankyou for the post; it did give me hope. Sorry if this was depressing. Everyone's going to be fine.

[vicki595]

I wish you the best with this!   I don't have any personal experience with Adderall but there are plenty here who do....

Could you start your own thread which would be more current?  I think you'll get more responses. In the mean time, have you thought about a support group, meetings, anything to help you?

[FightingMan]

I am twenty one and have been using adderall recreationally at an average of 120mg in 1.5 weeks for the past year and a half.  I am finally seeking help (hence my visiting this site) but quitting is proving to be very difficult.  I take the drug to enhance, well, basically to enhance in general, as you all know.  The majority of work that I do is as a performing musician and, get this, the side effects of adderall have given me muscle disfunction so bad at times that well attended shows at popular clubs that would typically be very satisfying for me have turned into utter nightmares, using all of my strength only to miss the intended notes.  Without this problem these performances would be natural and enjoyable.  I know that I must stop using this stuff or hand over my live music career altogether, which would be awful considering that's exactly what I started using it for.  I recently crashed after coming off a binge and it was the worst yet, triggering a week of slovenly behavior, ridiculous mood swings, and unnecessary fights with my loving wife.  I know what lies ahead, but the thought of kicking it for good by realizing that it is my enemy is exciting, and I feel closer than ever after reading your posts and making one of my own.  I would much rather use whatever steam I can call my own than become a dehydrated, irritable, total failure.

[Pat2789]

I used adderal throughout college and my first year of law school. Nasally and orally both. I took myself off of it because of the terrible side effects.I Have been off adderal for approximately one month and I have had depression everyday until I work out, then I feel about 60% of my normal self. When I'm depressed I have angry thoughts about hurting others or myself, but I force them out of my brain when in the gym. Working out is the only thing that keeps me sane. That's the bad news. The good news is that the extreme anxiety and panic attacks I experienced while using the drug have subsided, my circulation is much better, and I have a greater sense of purpose than I did while on it. Sexual function is also returning to normal, but not completely there just yet. I know now that I never want to put that drug in my body again, and I am excited that my old self is slowly returning.

Parents or potential users: please do not take this drug or give it to your children. It creates so many more problems than it fixes. At first it may seem like a miracle drug, but I promise in time it will ruin your life.

-Pat, 23 year old male

[changeforbetter]

      I want to thank everyone for their messages, hope, inspiration, experiences, relating to getting off meds. I am currently in the process of getting off my adderall (Vyvanse). I've been prescribed 140 mg daily for the past 5 years and have been taking ADD medication for 10 years. I've never doubted whether or not I had ADD. The moment I was diagnosed and found some books and began to read about it, I felt like FINALLY!!! I knew I wasn't from another planet. I believed reading the book that someone had followed me around and wrote down my life story. Lol. Needless to say, it was a relief. I started seeing a Cognitive Therapist on top of taking my medication to understand how my brain worked. I tried different study techniques, got text books on tape, took exams in untimed private rooms, got to record my classes.... I went from failing out of college to straight A's! And of course my medication was a huge part of it.  
      
   In the beginning, when I was prescribed straight Adderall, my friend and I used to get drunk and snort it. I totally absued the medication although it helped me get through school. As the years progressed thou, I got to be a serious student and took my medication 100% as prescribed. You better believe I NEVER once ‘forgot’ to refill my prescription though.


  I got sober about a year and a half ago. At a year sober, I made the decision that I needed to at least try to get off my meds. It's been a slow process and I'm dosing down with a psychiatrist. I naively, but HONESTLY thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Really. I thought it would make concentrating obviously more difficult, my general space-cadetness probably more perceptible, but I genuinely didn't think I'd really struggle. Holy ****! So not the case. I'm not so much irritable as I am sad, depressed, crying a lot... Feeling hopeless, lost, unmotivated. I'm studying Neuropsychology, so I understand molecularly what's happening in my brain but I take no relief in that.

       People’s blogs are just really resonating with me. It makes me sad and I cry even harder as I read people’s words, knowing this thing has slowly been destroying my life, but I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one feeling this way and that there IS hope. Despite how ****** I may feel and how depressed and suicidal I may get, I CAN’T go back. I deeply respect other’s journey’s with medication, but I am of the type that once I know, I CAN NEVER UN-KNOW. I see now this is the thing that is disconnecting me from a happy, joyous and free lifestyle, so I’ll work as hard as I need to, to get there. And I’ll take comfort that somewhere, out there, I’m not alone. Don’t give up!!!
  

[ilovemybritspaniel]

I completely understand and feel you! I am going through the exact same thing you are, except I have an RX for it (fortunately and unfortunately). It is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

In 6 months I went from weighing 166 lbs to 124 lbs, I'm 5'6, 23 year old female, so I look pretty normal in my opinion. Everyone around me disagrees saying I'm too skinny. I didn't originally get on adderall to lose weight, but now I'm so obsessed with maintaining my weight that I can't get off. I weigh myself everyday, FREAKING if I gain a few lbs.

Here's my story:
In April 2008 I started with Vyvanse for school, LOVED IT! So expensive though... so I got off of it 6 months later and stayed off of ADD meds for a little over a year, no withdrawls.
In late November of 2009 I was introduced to Adderall, I wanted it to help me juggle being a full time student, having a full time job, and a part time job. I've been on it for a year now and I hate it. I loved it so much at first, maintained a really low RX, and was able to be a human being. NOW- I take more than my recommended daily dosage 4x a week, the other 3 days of the week I take recommended dosage. It really doesn't work like it use to in the beginning but my brain can't tell my body that. I don't know what to do and I really don't want to tell my doctor or really anyone. I'm paranoid, in serious amounts of pain in my neck and jaw, dehydrated, and really bad nutrition. My RX is 40mg of generic adderall IR a day (one 20mg in the morning, one in the afternoon)- it's really not a high RX, but some days I take three 20mg's and some days I only take one and a half. AAAHHH!

[smartypants24]

I am a 24 year old college student. I have only been taking adderall for 3 months, but I feel like I have been addicted to it from the first week I started taking it. It gave me a great feeling in the beginning. I literally felt high, full of energy, and was making A's in calculus and physics for the first time ever. I have never had any issues with addiction in the past, so I figured that I could handle it, no problem. I was losing weight, and looking great. I was getting a lot of compliments about my appearance and my grades. That has all changed. I feel like I need it to get through my day, and I have never had a prescription for this. I am taking more and more everday to try to get that feeling I first felt. I am falling behind in school, and barely want to get out of bed. If I don't take it, I feel miserable and hopeless. I feel depressed and just down right ****** about my life. I was always a very optimistic and positive person. I was really happy and excited about my life and future. I know this seems a little dramatic, but I feel like I have changed significantly in the last few months. I never sleep and have gotten way too skinny. I live with my bf and I have never told him anything about it. I am starting to suspect that he knows, but he does not know how to ask me. I just feel so alone. I have never talked to anyone about it. I am afraid of losing the people I love. I am afraid that they will think that I have not earned my place in my engineering program. Also, I am afraid they will take it from me. I just need some advice. Should I try to quit on my own? I keep telling myself when I run out this time I will stop. I just do not know anymore. I know that I have made some bad choices, I just want to know the best way to fix this. I have a lot of hope. Thanks for listening. I already feel better.

[boobss]

You know you can crush up the XR's those little beans break pretty easy :)

[guineapigcorn]

Everything I've read here is true.  I started taking Adderall in 2007 and after a month or so it stopped working.  Someone mentioned to me that if you insufflate it you will feel it better and it will work better.  I stupidly tried this and within days I was almost exclusively using it nasally.  I also became hooked.  For a year I would get my script for 30 mg, 2x a day, use it in about 12 days, then crash hard.  I couldn't get out of bed for days, and once I did get up I was exhausted and slept alot. I tried to get it early and a few times it worked but then the doc caught on.  I ended up buying it elsewhere to supplement when I ran out and spent thousands of dollars.  Things were going smoothly for several months and then came the day I couldn't get any and went through terrible depression and fatigue. One day everything started falling apart. I was ripped off three times and I was arguing with my husband and I had just taken my last pill and knew what was going to happen so after the fight I slammed my arm through a window.  He called the police and I hid from them for an hour until they found me.  The cop found my empty bottle of Adderall and noticed it should have several doses left.  I was forced to go to the hospital, CPS was called.  I got fired.  Everything unravelled rapidly.  My doc cut me off. My husband made me stay off of it or else he was going to make me leave the house.  Life sucked. I had maybe four relapses in five months.  He always found out because he caught me looking in odd places for them and he was on to my behavior changes.  Another time he found out from the pharmacy that I had gotten them.  I stopped in February 2009 until September.  I was fatigued all the time and couldn't stand it so I got them again.  Soon after, he found them and he was furious.  I stood my ground and said that I needed to take them because of chronic fatigue and I learned my lesson and I wasn't abusing them anymore. They were extended release so I took them orally.  I even gave him the bottle.  He didn't trust me at all.  That was the worst part.  I am never given cash and the checks are always written out.  He checks phone number records on the internet.  He is always right behind me.  It's a horrible way to live but I deserve it.  I'm beginning to have trouble again and I feel so stupid.  Nothing is any different and my tolerance is up.  I am so scared I'm going to have a heart attack but it doesn't stop me.  I don't want to die but it has a grip on me.  It doesn't even feel that good anymore.  Somehow I still want it anyway.  My advice:  STAY AWAY!

[girlsailor]

I had taken adderal for 3 years... I quit cold turkey one day not by choice. It was forced. I loved the feeling it gave me there still isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think that I need it... I haven’t taken one in 1 year.. However.... it screwed me over. I am constantly chasing that high, the happiness, something anything that will connect me back into reality. I have found that relief twice.. The first time I took zanax. I was connected for 20 minutes. Completely living in the moment, happy, relaxed, and amazing feeling. The second time I was really tipsy.. I didn’t feel connected but I couldn’t stop laughing. I haven’t laughed genuinely in a long time though... the after affects of adderal ruined a good friendship of mine... I was distant, depressed, slept all day cried for no reason at night. I felt numb and cold, angry mood swings on the people closest to me. I had no job I wasn’t in school. I had no reason or purpose to live. I had no idea that it was because of the adderal. The drug can still be in your system. If this post does anything I hope someone sees it and relates to me.. finds out that the thoughts of suicide the depression is not the real you its the adderal reeking havoc in your system! My life turned around soooo quickly.. I got a job a met a great friend who showed me that he was real and that he cared; i'm rock-climbing, working out constantly, volunteering. I motivated to live! I appreciate being alive.. I have goals and look forward to the future.... it’s not all easy though. I still have to fight to get out of bed.. My good friend calls me in the morning, makes my day look not as intimidating as it normally would be if I had to face it alone... little things may still stress me out but I have learned new ways to handle them. My anger and frustration I have towards myself I take out in rock climbing.. Its is a physical challenge that puts your body under so much stress, yet nothing bets that felling when you make it to the top... I have learned while doing research that if you detox and exorcise, just live an overall more healthy life that the drugs will come out of your system quicker... so whoever is reading this, please, post your problem, that’s the first step.. I feel better just getting all off my chest.. You guys are my therapists:)
I can’t exactly explain how I feel everyday but I hope I relate to someone out there... I hope this helped someone

I look forward to living and not just functioning

I am a recovering addict. That the best kind ;)

[morganave]

What is adderall and what is it used for.  I have never heard of it, could you give me some information?
Thanks

[Berry05]

I was addicted to met for 10 yrs. My husband & I both quit 6 yrs ago. We just hit rock bottom & Quit. I however, was a stay at home mom of 3. Found it extremely difficult to help my 5th grader, at the time, w/school work. I could not focus on it. It drove me crazy! Simple assignments I did in school easily. I dicided that I had ADD. no hyperactivity. GOt testing done & was diagnosed 3yrs ago. Started taking adderall, knowing it was a high I could get away w/ legally & justify to family. I use the whole prescription(30 mg XR) in 10 days at first. now in 6. In the begining I slept every night easily. My use progressed to the point that I reallly wanted the meds after 3 wks off. But after taking them 2 days, i hated the way I acted & felt, but couldn't throw them away! I just wwanted to take it quickly w/out killing myself & get it over with. Usually slept for 3-4 days afterward. Now I just Use for my 6 days & sleep until time to fill the next Script. i hate it. My husband(also former meth addict) has tollerated me using Adderall for the past 3 yrs. & NEVER once asked, wanted any or any meth. He gets mad at me when I "come down. But doesn't say much when I am on it, cuz all the things that I neglected for 3 wks, get done. I have to stop it is affecting my relationships w/ all family. I have no desire to get up w/o it. I Can do this! But Can I do it on my own?

[twolve]

When a doctor prescribes a patient adderal what does he expect to happen in the future? my girlfriend was put on 30 mg completely out of the blue about a year and a half ago..that is such a strong dose and i dont even see how she showed signs that she needed it..her little sister is on it and definitely needs it and my gf says she does but she doesnt even really care if shes on it or not..my question is..a few years down the road are there going to be problems like you guys stated above? i mean if adderal isnt something you can continue to take for the rest of your life than why do these doctors hand it out like candy..my gf doesnt do any drugs or anything and i would just hate to see her go through what i just went through with opiates just because her doctor assumed she needed to all the sudden be put on the highest dose of adderal..sometimes i feel like if you gave me a white jacket i could act like a doctor and fit right in..

[amypop]

I have been on adderall for 7 years. I started at 19, but about one year ago at 25 I started noticing some new side effects from the adderall. Some days it worked, some days it didn't. My tolerance continued to go up, but I refused to take more than 20mg in one day. Exercising became frustrating and scary because my heart rate would race to 200+ in about 10 minutes, and I would consider myself to be quite fit. Also, if I took it in the morning, by the afternoon, I was so drained, so tired and so "out of it" that I was no fun to be around, and honestly, I didn't want to hang out with friends because it was too hard for me to concentrate. I made a rash decision to stop taking adderall about 2 months ago, even though I love the "euphoric" feeling and lack of appetite, which we all know is not the main reason to take it. Yes things are a little harder when it comes to focusing and energy levels, but I feel better. My body feels cleaner and healthier. My workouts can go harder because I don't have to worry about my heart exploding, and at the end of the day I am tired, but I don't feel like my brain has been sucked away from going 1 million miles a minute while on my prescribed speed. To be fair, I do still have adderall available to me, but I cut my dose in half to 10mg, and I haven't touched it yet. I truly do have difficulty focusing and studying, and THAT is why I have taken it. I understand not taking it for prescribed reasons, anyone who says they don't enjoy the "drug effects" are lying. Just be careful, watch your heart rate, and listen to your body. I began to get chest pains and that was a HUGE warning sign. Be smart about your body. The best way to take care of it is to work out and eat right, you know that. Good luck and be careful.

[milcasey]

I had been prescribed 50mg XR daily (20+30) for about a year.  Towards the end ot that time I started getting nasty side effects like poor circulation and blue nees, especially if made the mistake of taking "1 extra one."  I know rock bottom is different for everyone, but the real rock bottom for me was losing a girl i deeply loved.  At first, I though "How could she be doing this to me?! She knows I need help. w/this stuff and shes just going to throw me out to the dogs?  I thought every thing we did was as a team.

My solution was to leave the country.  I went and visited some European friends for a month, and when I came back, I have to admit, the thing that made me stick with not using it was the fact that I (perhaps selfishly) didn't want to lose.  Lose, you ask? I didn't want to be dumped and still an adderall addict—a loser.  The thought of that kept me off it for 3 months.

It's hard for me to say how quickly you improve.  I'd say the first few days/week is ttttttttterrible and I can absolutely understand why you might look for an antidepressant or something else to relieve your pain.  After the week or so passes, the good news is that  that you are ready to function at very basic capacity.

After a few weeks pass, with you out doing stuff on your own, you start to realize that a lot of what you were "taking Adderal for" can be accomplished by personal will power.  I'm not saying I magically function as effectively as a programmer or math whiz when I'm off adderall,  The key, in my very personal experience, for kicking this habit (which I am still dedicated to doing) is to teach yourself that you can achieve just as well without it.

In other words Yes, the beginning is rough.  But once you start feeling like a 'normal' person again, meaning you can handle basic tasks, maintain relationships, and act normal, you've taken a HUGE step.  Sadly, I fear it's a step thousands will never take--and it carries the ultimate punishment: you lose your freedom, your body deteriorates, and your mind is confused. So if you made it this fear, CONGRATULATIONS!  

But if you're like me, some high-jacked part of your brain is still constantly looking for excuses to take Adderall.

For me, that hadn't gone away even after 3 month with none.  I went and got a script filled and sure enough all the problems were just where i left them. That was 6 months ago.

To this day, I go through random periods where i find something that justifies the use of adderall.  Writing this, it's clearer to me than ever that i'm just looking for anything to do that will allow me to fell "okay" about Adderral.  And I'm convinced that will never happen.

I do consider myself an ex-Adderall User even though I have intermittent screw ups every few months (which usually end with me taking 1 more than I'm supposed to, then going "WHAT DID I JUST DO?!!" and then flushing the rest down the drain.

I'd like to end on a positive note - I think the problem CAN be solved.  
How?
You need to do the things you thought adderall helped you with, and do them CLEAN.  You'lll be shocked - test scores are usually the same, or sometimes even improve without adderall.   You CAN achieve without it, you just need to repeat experiences in this way to absolutely PROVE IT to yourself.

I'll end with my personal feelings on adderall:
Adderall is a name stored deep in my brain and, naturally when the word adderall is mentioned, my brain lights up. When someone says I have to do my homework or play chess... "awwww Adderall helped so much with my homework…. Where can I get some?" is the first thing that comes to mind.  

I believe the way to solve this problem, and it clearly is a big problem because it leads to remission, is to make a very formal point do the task without Adderall NO MATTER HOW HARD IT SOUNDS.  Take the SATs without it, the MCATs, whatever.  

PROVE to YOURSELF, that you don't "NEED" adderall to perform well or feel good.

I hope I can someday follow up on this post with “I haven’t thought abour adderall for a year.”

[cakegirl]

Hi again, just a quick question. are you trying to exercise yet. cardio especially. -K

[gsmith4489]

Dude you can do this thing.  You can and will stop.  Sometimes what it takes is to admit you can't do it yourself.  That is okay because its a fact and not a judgement.  People need help sometimes and it does not make them less to admit it.  Do some research, find a good detox doctor in your area.  If you can't afford it then go to the government, they often have free help.

It may take multiple attempts but you will lick this thing!!!

Greg