Am I a drug addict?

[electriccat]

I'm 19 years old and started using drugs about 9 months ago. Since then, I''ve done molly, meth (mixed with molly in powder form), oxycodone, lsd, shrooms, xanex, ecstasy,weed, and a variety of other prescription meds. I absolutely fell in love with molly and ecstasy because of the euphoric rush I got from them. I always did A LOT of each drug I ever did. For example, I usually do about .6 grams of molly each time I do it. I did awfully in school my senior year because I was usually really hung over and depressed from some drug I had done the day/week before. I started losing a lot of weight both because I was trying to (by working out and limiting my food intake) and also because the drugs I took killed my appetite. Before I knew it, I was stealing money from my parents to pay for the expensive drugs I would fell in love with. To this day, I do drugs whenever and wherever I can get my hands on them. Nothing excites me more than having a bag full of powder or a hand full of pills. Last year, I did something that I never thought I could do: I stole drugs from my best friend. She had prescription oxycodone, which she had received when she got her wisdom teeth taken out. We would abuse it on a weekly basis, but one day when she was out of the room, I took 4 or 5 pills out of the bottle and kept them. Ever since, I've stolen drugs whenever I could. Last night, I went into my friend's dorm while she was out and stole some of her and her roommates' meds (muscle relaxers and anti-anxiety pills). I had had a really drama-filled night and felt like I needed them to calm down. I was really drunk and delirious at the time (I had done some muscle relaxers earlier that night with the girl I stole them from) and my boyfriend saw the whole thing. Our relationship is pretty much over now, because he's completely disgusted with me, and for good reason. I never did the pills I stole because I was afraid I might OD (since I had already done some earlier). This is the first time I've stopped myself from doing more drugs for fear of ODing. I find it hard to believe that I'm a drug addict because I go to one of the top colleges in the country and have really loving parents. However, the more I self-evaluate, the more it seems like I'm completely out of control. I feel like I'm a slave to drugs - I'll do anything for them. I often take too much and freak out/ become ill. What do you think? Am I an addict or just a dumb girl with too much time on her hands? Thanks so much for your time. I really appreciate it.

[ang_811]

If ur asking yourself if ur an addict the chances r high that u r bc normal people don't ask that question...

[MSmith2220]

Please stop mixing your drugs... I think you know the answer to your question, so my advice is: take a step back, look at what you're doing, where you're going, and where you WILL be. Find help, find a hobby, and do what I do, realize that in a short time you have just had more fun that 3 or 4 people could have in a life time and you're still alive and put it all behind you, then move on and get strait.

I did that 10 years ago. From age 14 to 18 I was doing everything you just said. When I was 17.75y/o I quit cigs, before I could buy them, then I had my last breath of herbal smoke. I will never trade my experience for anything, I would never go back and do anything different, but I would always hate myself if I never stopped doing what I was doing. I have such a wonderful life right now that would never have been possible, and it would never be if I had stayed where I was.

My "Fun/feel good/experience everything" mind found pain pills and decided it was legal so how could it be bad.... Yup, that was a mistake too and here I am 4 days clean on my 2nd real try in ~5yrs of pain pills. It’s a tough world for us but at some point we have to join the ants.

You'll know it when you're ready, Ill pray that its sooner than later. We will all be here for you and if you have question or just want to talk, we are all ready to give you what you need. Good luck and stay safe.

-MS

[abritt121222]

I would honestly say if anyone even questions if they are an addict the they most likely are and by the way u talk about getting so excited over just the thought of getting drugs I would definitely say you are no different

Good Luck and Godspeed
ABritt

[Undertow71]

Or 40 or 50.If you live that long.As well known,Drugs lead to death,institutions,and a a VERY lonely life of hell and pain.
  The things we do and people we allow around us as drug addicts we would NEVER do if clean and sober.
  The viciouse cycle of waking up feeling guilty then getting high to make it go away gets lower and lower.
   I pray for you,hope you get help and get out while you can before well.
  Take some time and just read others struggles here.
You can do this

[quitinoxys]

Very well put Vicki, there are people on this forum for all positions in life but one thing we all have in common is we all have problems with drugs. Please get clean before you are 30 years old wondering "What happened to my life"

[vicki595]

Hi there-   I usually like to let people come to the conclusion of addiction on their own but ill say this:  You know you're an addict; you came to an addiction forum. So, if the shoe fits...

What you describe is so sad to me. You're young and you could easily destroy your future if you keep this up. And, believe me, just because you go to an ivy league school and have great parents, it doesn't make you impervious to this disease.  There are many well heeled members on this forum...

What are you willing to do to get clean? Decide now because when you end up sick or in jail, it may be too late...

[quitinoxys]

Well you certainty hit all of the key descriptions of being an addict. It sounds like you are crying out for help and want to get your life back. If this is what you want to do just go for it and take a week and go CT (cold turkey).

Some of the drugs you are abusing  (especially molly) are extremely dangerous and you could very well OD. You are too young and have your whole life ahead of you so get out now before it gets much worse. Please just quit I know you CAN and WANT to. It is a great feeling when you wake up in the morning clean. I will pray for you and hope you make the right decision. God Bless---Rick

[ann326]

well it sounds like you need help..... only you can be the one to say your an addict and you know that maybe you might want to sit and read it again and put it out of your mind that you wrote it and what would you say to the person that posted this ???? there's lots of great suport here for ya if you need it.

[D713]

It's obvious...but everyone on here been there and done that and been through WD's and will help you...I hope you will quit..it's hard I KNOW i was doing Painkiller and what not...not to long ago..and im still recovering....Wish you the best keep posting and be honest to these people also....they're helping you not judging you....noone judges here.