Am I an addict?

[JamesKlein]

I am currently 28 years old.  When I was younger 18-21 I used to smoke a lot of pot and drink a lot, to the point where my friends later told me they were planning an intervention.  Then it slowly tapered off to where I didn't drink or smoke pot at all.  Then when I was 23-24 I was in an environment where alcohol was free and readily available to me.  I ended up drinking heavily every day.  I knew I should stop or slow down, but I couldn't force myself to do it.  Then I got out of that environment, for the last 3-4 years I have gone through stretches where I drink a lot and start to feel dependent on drinking, and stretches where I don't drink at all.  For example over the last 4 months I have really only been drinking about one night a week, and for the last two weeks I haven't drank at all because I'm trying to loose some weight.  When I do drink though I drink a lot. Like 10-15 drinks over an evening, I'm a big guy but thats still a lot.

Does addiction come and go like this?  Or is this something else?

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

If you're THINKING ABOUT it chances are you're ALREADY ON YOUR WAY...  

Do yourself a favor and call AA... They can REALLY HELP!

Hang in there and TRY NOT TO DRINK TODAY!!  

Remember all you need to do is "ONE DAY AT A TIME"

[JamesKlein]

"Hang in there and TRY NOT TO DRINK TODAY!!"

Yeah like I said in my post thats not a problem, I haven't had a drink in a couple weeks and don't really feel like drinking right now because I'm trying to loose weight, and that takes the current priority.  I'm just wondering about the stretches where my drinking got the better of me.  Maybe it was self medication for depression or anxiety.

[Ali1226172]

POST TO James

**Also I hope you all read this...I had a big eye opener today, and I bet a lot of you feel as I do***

James you seem to be doing some serious self-medicating! It appears that you probably drink more when there are more stressors in your life and drink less when you feel in control with your life.  This is vindictive of addict behavior in fact you are my kind of addict... Just because you don't use or drink everyday and can turn it on and off when u can it doesn't mean that ur not addiction to the substance.  It seems you use alcohol to mask the anxiety, depression or stress in ur life so that you feel "in control"....this is what I do with pills.... I don't use heavy and even talk time off from using but when something goes wrong I feel a need to grab the control back in my life my "popping a pill".  This may sound crazy, I know but this is probably what you are doing as well.  I have massive issues with trying to always control my surroundings to tame my anxiety and the pills make it all better just like the drinks right?? Well actually in time the pills and the drinks begin to CONTROL U....than you not only have no control over your surroundings but, no control over your own self!!  Trust me this will spiral and you will be way beside yourself until you find the underlining reasons for why you drinks!!  You did the right thing by posting on here, and you may want to try AA or one on one therapy is great too!! Best of luck don't let this go, your trying to mask something, as we all are so join us in the fight love....ur not alone

[JamesKlein]

That makes a lot of sense.  I usually feel awkward in social situations, and will immediately start drinking until I feel comfortable when alcohol is available.  The couple years I drank really heavily was when I was working at a bar, and the owner let me, and i fact encouraged me to drink throughout my shifts.  I have tried multiple anxiety medications, and antidepressants but they all cause a bunch of problems with me.  Anti depressants make me feel really weird, paxil made me super hyperactive, xanax gave me panic attacks if I ever missed a pill.  Over the last 2 weeks I have been doing daily exercise, and I haven't drank at all because I'm afraid that if I do the following day I will get up and not want to exercise at all because I'm hung over.  I think that regular exercise might be the "medication" I've been looking for.  I'm still considering going to AA to get some perspective on my drinking though.

[Ali1226172]

Excersise is a beautiful medicine...if that works for you than keep it up!! :)  Lots of addict find running to be a very calming experience because of the endorphin rush you get when you run (and it relieves stress/anxiety).  I've been meaning to start exercising again cuz I know that will help me but, i'm still feeling really achy- I think by next week I should be good!  Def go to AA and try a therapist- whats the worst that can happen to vent a little and feel better?? Not to mention you will realize that you are one of manyyyy going thro the same thing!  

Btw Paxil is one of many antidepressents- maybe you just didn't find the right one for you I use zolofot and have for about a year its the only thing that really helps with my social anxiety and depression...anyways keep running and no drinking you will be just fine but, don't be afraid to reach out either, sometimes it helps to just vent to others..

Good bless and Good luck