Am I an addict?

[funkybassplayer]

Ive been taking hydrocodone for about a year now. Not because i'm in pain, just because I like the way they feel and they are easy to get down where I live. Anyways, I dont really take TOO much. I will pop 3-4 watson 503's every 2 or three days, sometimes ill go a whole week without taking them, and i dont feel any withdrawals or anything- thats where i am confused. I dont know if I am causing harm to my body or if i am addicted. My opinion is that I dont think I am addicted or taking too many pills. What do you think?

[AR_MEDIC]

The reason I am writing you is because “I AM AN ADDICT”…
Addicted to pain medications now for several years.
Started with taking occassional vicodin 5/500 then up to the
lorcet 10/650's..
Now taking the medication is the only way I will work or go
out in public.
I have taken hydrocodone for years and am now using
fentanyl patches.
Since I have been taking all this medicine for so long
I have become very depressed. I have constant anxiety
problems and a constant fear of death. I know the drugs are
killing me. I am afraid to go to sleep I am afraid I will die
in my sleep. I will not sit in a dark room, because of
the strange and awful things I see when I close my eyes.
I stay awake until my body finally gets so exhausted I pass
out and sleep the whole time I am off work.I am probably
fixing to lose my job, because I call in quite a bit.
I will no longer go out in public except to work or unless
I'm taking hydros, then I just take a lot of medication
and go to work then home (I use to be very outgoing).
I will not answer my phone at all.
I will not call people back when they phone and leave
messages. I would commit suicide, but I am afraid of hell
and believe that is where I will end up if I did so.
I have made a call to a rehab facility tonight
and they are suppose to let me know in the morning if they
will take my insurance.
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU !!!

[snowtardd]

and if all that dont matter,the feelgood feeling is only temporary,meaning as addiction gets stronger you will need to take more to get that feeling,then soon after that you wont even be able to get that feeling,you'll be taking pills so you dont get sick,your whole day will revolve around those little pills.trying to find more,counting em every time you take em.....etc. just stop now man,take it from hells servents,cause once addiction hits you....and it will if you dont stop,thats all you'll be.....besides a statistic,a servent to the pills.JUST STOP

[buttercups]

Good post, and good point. :)

[Geddy]

I used to do the same thing as you my friend. .You are the mirror image of me 2 years ago.  TRUST ME, this occasional pill popping "just because i like the way it makes me feel" will evolve if you keep it up.  You better stop now.  Consider it a serious warning. Your one Emergency room visit with sprained ankle and a prescription for 30 percocets away from being an addict. Believe me when i tell you this.

[IBKleen]

Virgo, I am with you!!!

[virgo1969]

Also, the "feel good" now from the pills is not worth the living hell of withdrawals and trying to get the mind addiction under control. I would not wish that on my worst enemy.

[IBKleen]

hhmmm..I was wondering the same thing...why ask?

For me, AND ONLY FOR ME, If I take something that alters my mind or my mood, then I need to question that. Everyday I try to work on "entertaining" myself or getting that "feel good" feeling without the use of drugs.

Hopefully some of this feedback here will help you. Take care.

[CATUF]

If you're not addicted and the pills are not a problem, why are you searching the internet for information on addiction?  In my experience it was always a huge mistake for me to ignore the still, small voice that sometimes whispered warnings to me.

I had such a warning: "One day back when 5 or 6 Darvocets would last me all day, I was walking by an office building with reflective windows.  It was like walking by a block long mirror that went up too high to see the top.  I had a GREAT Darvocet buzz on.  Life felt good and I was quite please to be a part of the show.  I remember looking at myself in the 'mirror' as I clipped along the sidewalk.  I was very pleased with what I saw.  It wasn't that I thought I was particularly great looking or anything like that.  I just thought I looked "very together" - something like that. I felt oh so good and happy to be alive.  My secret buzz was like being in love or something.  My secret buzz somehow made me just a little bit better than everyone.  I just felt (and thought I looked) in control and unstoppable.  

"So, I was quite suprised when I question was posed to me in what almost seemed to be an audible voice: 'ARE YOU GETTING INTO TROUBLE WITH THOSE THINGS?'  I was so startled by this unexpected question that I actually answered my refliction out loud: 'No! I'm fine!'  I didn't know at the time that it was the beginning of the countless lies I would tell to myself over the course of my addiction."  *

If you're getting such warnings, don't ignore them.

CATUF

* copied from my own post dated 1/17/07

[anewbeginning]

OH MY GOD!!! PLEASE LISTEN, PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE!!!! I NEVER NEVER NEVER in a million years would i have EVER EVER seen myself (the one who HATES drugs) turn into an addict. I can't even tell you how or when it happened. I can tell you that once I liked the feeling & then you just need a couple more to get that same feeling, then it turns into an everyday thing, then guess what???? YOUR SCREWED!!!!! Then after soo long you'll be taking 10,20, maybe even 30 a day. Seriously, be careful! I wish someone would've warned me. I have spent more money than I would like to mention on this ****. You still have hope, so please take all the advice. Good Luck!!

[Greatgreebo]

You aren't physically dependent....this is obvious because you don't have any WD's when you quit taking them. You probably aren't quite addicted yet but you are walking the line for sure. It is a slippery slope you are standing on and 'addiction' is at the bottom. I'm with Virgo...stop taking them before you get addicted. It's not 'if' but 'when' the addiction will get you.
Taking the pills for any other reason than pain is asking for trouble.  Read some of our posts and think about what we are saying. Addiction is hell. It creeps up on you and you don't even see it coming. A lot of us started out taking our pain meds as prescribed AND we were warned about addiction. We didn't even see it coming!! And once you are addicted, your life becomes a living hell.
Stop now why you still have control. If you tell yourself 'I don't want to stop..I'm not addicted'- well my friend, you are over three quarters of the way to a nasty addiction.

Keep reading and posting. Hopefully you can learn from all of our mistakes!!
Greatgreebo

[Avalancheblanche]

I did the same thing with Tramadol.  It just kept on progressing and ultimately, I was taking a bunch of pills every day.  I am on day 8 without pills.  The withdrawal is horrible.  I would not wish that on my worste enemy.....You should stop while you can.  You will tell yourself you can just have one today. Then it will be 2.....
I never thought I fit the profile....Clean cut, happy go lucky.....I told myself " I'm not the type......."  Please save yourself now.

[virgo1969]

Why don't you just stop taking them before it turns into an addiction? You really don't want to go through that pain. If you don't need them for legitimate  pain, even 1 pill is too many. Stop now before it's too late.