Am i really in pain or is it a addiction to vicodin and tramadol?

[sprinklez]

Here is my story. I was diagnosed with "questionable" lupus when I was 15 years old and the doctor prescribed me tramadal once a day. At age now 23, I am on tramadol 4 times a day. I guess my body builded a immune to the pain meds and i started self medicating with vicodin. So for over a year now i have been takin 4 tramadol and a half of a 7.5 vicodin. The past couple of months i have added a quarter of a vicodin to my daily meds. Sometimes i wonder if im really in true pain or am i making the pain worse. I am so confused. There are days were i could go without the extra quarter of a vicodin or with only 3 tramadol, but i sit there thinking about it, and take hem anyway. I do not have anone to really talk to about this because i do not want to be judge, and in the real world people do judge.Please help!!!

[sprinklez]

I am so terrified to stop. I recently admitted to myself that i am physically and mentally addicted. It takes all my will power to not take more meds. Also im scared that my teachers might know. I graduate in december in a medical career and my teachers would know by a glance all the symptoms of a withdrawl. I think about how my little girl would view me as well. I never believed that one script from the doctor 8 years ago would cause so much pain.

[worried878]

I agree...no one can judge u unless they walked in ur shoes for more than a day!  in reality narcoics r not the  pain relief of choice for autoimmune diseases like lupus///nor fibromyalgia
Narcotics were not originated for long term pain due to the tolerence people build to them//and the riskof addiction
Narcotics only interrupt the pain signals to ur brain..they do not have the direct relief/effects of many other safer and non-adddictive drugs or relief mechanisms like ice, heat, stretching, yoga///the list can go on and on

my sister has lupus..lupus can be a chronic painful condition or a condition that causes no problems..she was diagnosed/when in reality u can not diagnose lupus, fibromyalgia or MS..many others//symptoms r used for dx/when she was pregnant she was DX-d with lupus//no problems since after delievery

I have been diagnosed/again diagnosed with fibromyalgia....dunno...doesnt really matter...peopole can walk around with a herniated disc and never feel an ounce of pain..whereas another will suffer from the pain horribly..pain is real and each person has a different threshold

For me the pain of addiction outweighed my back pain..was stressful and my stress aggravates my pain..worrying bout pills all the times gets a bit stressful

I am not sure where u r atin this addiction cycle/physicall, mentally or both///and both meaning u r an addict...u r on a relatively low dose of narcotics and narcotic-like drugs..get off the merry go round while u can..

andit is very likely the pills r causing u more pain than ur conddition..it is common among long term pain relief people

goodluck..do u wanna quit?  trams must be tapered..the vikes u can flush right now and be done withit

if u need any help//there is alot of it here on theis forum..so keep posting