An update

[hurtin4certin]

Good afternoon all, I'm a day & a couple hrs shy of a week and thought I would post after not being able to for the past two days due to literally school all day with no time to.  I've rededicated to focusing on not only my health but my school.  Had I not decided to change my life I would without a doubt have failed at what I really want to do with my life.  

The past few days have been no walk in the park.  I've felt defeated, like I could no longer go on, like I wanted to quit, but I knew that would not be the answer.  I now find myself doing ok and content with what is going on in life after completing 2 tests, a paper, attending class on very little sleep and absolutely no energy, and an overall feeling of despair.  Although I haven't been able to get to an NA meeting yet, I have thoroughly digressed how I have been feeling to my sister who has helped me tremendously.  I finally got 6 hrs of sleep last night, and while I woke up at 4:30am, I'm totally cool w/ that because it allowed me to complete some work before class today.

I vow to keep pushing on, no matter what the circumstances.  To everyone who has reached milestones, congrats, stay focused, eat a piece of cake, do a happy dance, you deserve it.  To everyone lurking or wanting to quit, bite the bullet man, but make sure its for you and you know that the pain can and will come to an end.

I am by no means out of the woods, cured, or anything like that.  But for now, right now, I'm good with where I'm at and will keep going on.


Thanks everyone,

Tim

[PurrfectlyKrazy]

Glad you are pushing through...agree with everyone above about Recovery First!  It is very admirable and courageous of you to push as hard as you have been BUT don't overdo it.  That sometimes can be a precursor to relapse.  Make sure to take a little time every day just for yourself so you can take a deep breath and just be!

Hugz

[Ejm7263]

jifmoc is right. There is not a NA as close as AA to me. I go to both but I can get to AA everyday. Everytime I drink I relapse. I think this is ok but I know something better. That classifies me as an alcoholic also.
Also look online for meetings. But it's inside the actual walls where real recovery starts.
So glad your here & pushing through. Keep us posted.  

[jifmoc]

I agree w/ IBKLEEN. We HAVE to put recovery FIRST or we don't make it. That's a fact not an opinion.

If NA is too far go to AA. Either one:)

[hurtin4certin]

While you're correct that I have relapsed several times since I've come to this forum, and my plans have not panned out the way I would have liked... but I have to say you're wrong that I have been able to get to a meeting.  I am 30 minutes driving distance from any meetings. I'm currently on my sixth day, the first three days I don't think it would be smart, safe, or wise to drive while throwing up.  The past three days I have literally been on campus also 30 minutes away and in the same area as meetings from 9 in the morning until 8pm at night.  I HAD to be on campus to maintain grades or risk failure and wasting money.  I only have class from 4-5:20 tomorrow, allowing me to find a meeting at lunch time or after class. I AM GOING TOMORROW.  I promise you that.  I apologize if I am taking this the wrong way, but I have made changes to my recovery after each relapse.  I am abstaining from drinking and will actively participate in NA in this attempt at staying clean.

[Jinx_777]

congrats to you.
they say 'trade a bad habit for a good one' and it seems you have done that in many ways.  no doubt you will succeed.

[IBKleen]

glad to hear that you are hanging on. That being said, I have to mention that you have been on this site for a few years and had relapses along the way. With each one you decide what is best for your recovery...last a little while..relapse...and the cycle starts over again. Each time you promise you won't use. I know how that goes hun because I have been there too many times.

Each time you return here members share with you what works for them to STAY clean. And each time you put that on the back burner and go with your plan. Your plan doesn't work and your plan gets you this.

You say you have not been able to get to a meeting yet. Yes you have been able to. You just haven't done it. You always managed to find the time to get sick. Now find the time to get well.

[VICourageous]

VERY PROUD OF YOU!!! Keep on pushing forward and good luck with school. Stay Focused on YOU & Your Recovery..Just know that there will be some bumps in the road on the way through life but again stay Focused on YOU..I would highly recommend that you take a bit of your time and hit some kind of meeting..AA/NA, Church groups that are about addiction, Anything. Even try to get on the net and look up Addiction in a more Scientific way..This will not cure you but it all will keep you in tune with You and what will happen if you just take that "one more" for this or that reason.
So Far, So Good..I wish you the best that Life can offer you right  now..Keep on Trucking and never look back.
Bless