Anger and urges to self destruct....HELP

[Opiategurl]

Nothing makes me want to relapse like the despair of someone you love betraying you. I offered my ex an opportunity to stay with me, stay sober, and help him find a job and his own place. So maybe I'm too damn nice, but then I found out now that  he's already going behind my back with this chick because shes a drug dealer and has money....while he's staying at my house. Naturally I'm heart broken that he'd do something like this but he even found a way to blame it all on me. UGH...I need a massive change of sceanery. These walls just remind me of my old routines. The spot I used to keep my pills and straw and other tools. The little crafts and things I used to do when I had that buzz. I dont think a hot bath or a good book is gonna get me outta this mood. What to do???

[gnarly_1]

I say what I say with love in my heart .....I really want to see you make it you been on this forum a wile its time to fix the problem you can do it if you want it bad enough I broke a 16 1/2yr habit if thats doable yours is to God bless Gnarly

[Opiategurl]

youre right...thanks

[gnarly_1]

GOOGLE an N/A meeting in your area and get to it nothing changes if nothing changes your going to need to change all persons places and things that remind you of using to overcome this and it starts by treating the disease there will always be something in your life to triger you this is more significant then most but its up to you you can surender to your old ways and use or you can play a new hand and walk it out clean and sober it a choice hope you make the right one........Gnarly