Anphetamin's

[Duke Roul]

A good friend of mine has got hold of some Anphetamin's and has asked me to try them out with him.

I have taken most other kinds of illegal drugs, and am well experianced in self control and awareness whilst under influence of chemicals.

All I really want to know is what side effects can I expect and are there any major things that I should know before takeing this, as I am unsure I want to try it.

All I do know is that it should be taken with "Speed" and that afterwards you get severe muscular ache.

Any help on this would be of great use.

Tnx
-Matt-

[Francoise]

My advice to you is to forget it. You can possibly expect severe depression, depending on your personal chemistry.

And I wonder how bright you are. Haven't you noticed this is a site populated with people who want to get OFF drugs? We have no interest in helping you get ON.

Just say NO! It will apparently be the smartest thing you've ever done.

Francois

[Duke Roul]

I understand what you are saying, but this forum is also for "advice", Evedently in a perfect world I would say "no" but I am 20 years old, I like to experiment ! and as to my body's chemistry ...it is pretty used to takeing a beating every now and again.

I am not mocking anyone here, and all I simpily ask is for "Advice".

No doubt I'me going to try it anyway, and shamefully that is probably my own stupidity.

-Matt-

[cindi]

many years ago i mesed around with amphetamines..biphetamines etc...i made a real mess of everything....there was a hwol post started by me re:this subject and I had many great responses but the thread mysteriously was deleted..anyway  yep  like francoise said leave it alone...and to semi quote skipper he basically said you can smell a speed freak....a mile away...it turns you into sub human,,,,JB said his hair fell out and his gums were bleeding......at one point I had a website for amphetamine sulfate...basically I aked what it was....I had been very depressed and wanted something once again to numb me...even the guy tht woned the site told me to seriously consider buying it which I never did,,he stated it was very powerful,,,i would have been trading one problem for another,,,good luck and fagetaboutit             Love to all    cind

[kstuebin]

It might be a good time to build that entertainment center you were planning on.  Oh, and try to find a way to fill in all those hours you won't be able to sleep or eat or sit still for 5 seconds. And remember, even though you feel invincible, you're really not. And the best part comes last, when you crash...and you're all jangly and exhausted and depressed and you still can't sleep. There's a reason this isn't a real popular drug.

[kstuebin]

Sorry, previous comment was to Duke..don't know where I got Matt.  This is your brain on drugs...

[cindi]

Hmmm  I just read your post to francoise,,,Yes this forum is for advice but not to promote drug abuse...you are only 20 years old,,,,and you said your body has already taken beatings,,ok   how many more beatings are you willing to take...how much more are you really willing to do  to youself.?....so by the time you are 30 you wil be shot..you;ll end up maybe blowing out your heart,  maybe having a stroke as the speed causes our blood blood pressure to go up....you said you'll give it a try anyway,,which i have not doubt in my mind you will..I was 20 at one time....and if we had had computers in 1980 and I had come to this forum I may have had an attitude such as yours but I may have given it some serious thought....and maybe even had taken these people seriously..we are addicts...some of us are career addicts...read on ,,,read the archives, the other posts..you'll find that most of us suffer immensly...you have the chance to prevent this from happening to you....if there is a lack of respect from you because you are young and you think we are all alot older than you  so be it,  there is nothing that can be done about that.,but please have the respect for yourself   and choose the other path..and if you are still going to try it out of your won stupidity (your words, not mine) just remember we ill still be here when you come back for help..................love to all  cin

[Thomas]

amphetamines ARE speed. They're not taken WITH speed. If you want a pleasant high from the stuff without the jitters or paranoia, take the edge off with some good ole natural pot. Speed and pot combined produce one of the most euphoric experiences I know of. If your friend is your significant other, that same combination is an excellent all-night sex drug. Worth experiencing at least once.

That said, let me add something to my response. I try not to tell people what to take and what not to take unless I see dire consequences in their future. Speed, as an "experience" drug, is not going to cause lasting harm as long as you know the right dosage and don't take it in a public place which tends to cause paranoia.

But make no mistake about it: regular use of speed is a life destroyer. It will rob you of your job, your money, your friends, your family and, finally, your life.

I place speed up there with heroin and cocaine as drugs that NO person can handle.

Experiment once with it -- well, who isn't curious? I know I always am. But use speed chronically and you can flush your future down the toilet. Nuff said. Be careful.

[Duke Roul]

An Excellent responce from Everyone...I thank you all...

although I am only 20" I am always viewed by others as someone who is bright, charming, reliable and well knowledged in the use off illegal drugs. As well as someone who can be turned to for advice.

back in my school days (not long ago really) I took a lot more drugs than I do now. These days I only participate in such rituals as a "weekend" thing. I have also started writing arcticles for "High Times" magazine on my Real life experiances with drug use, although yet they have not been published.
(fingers crossed - they have been impressed so far)

I have only just joined this forum, and it seems I have a lot to learn on "politics" and "politeness" but I am glad to see that not everyone is nieve enough to give a bad and negative responce.

You say it is simular to Speed, which I know is a terribly cheap and nasty drug, that seldom do I dare to indulge.
Over this summer I took much Speed and Base, only to find it had more negative than positive effects.
from what responce you have all given me here, I think my best bet is "Not" to try it, although no doubt my friend
(oh and  yehhh he is my friend not a partner)
will convince me to give it a go!

Thankyou All

-Matt-

[cindi]

All we aks is that you give it some serious thought....you will not find any judgemental people here...just people that have suffered at the hands of addiction..we don't need more dying as a result of the drug use....a 20 year old with everything in life ahead of him....Christ,,,I have an 18 year old brother and a 23 year old sister...they look to me for advice as I am 41 years old  and BTW  I am a nurse so I have seen it all from heroin overdose to suicide...a decapitation one time because the guy was on speed and thought he could do anything,,like hop a train,,,,,just think    love to all cin

[Duke Roul]

Thankyou for your Dramatic responce, you picture a grimm future for me.

I do not mean any disrespect, I apolagise for the words that I used in the original post.

I have no concern or "dis-respect" against age, be the person young, old, or inbetween...the only thing that maters is experiance in such a field.

I class myself as a Scientist, someone who is experimenting on the use of chemicals. I do spend much time reading up on, and researching into drug use, as well as the history of drugs.

After reading through this forum, I can see that there is a lot of hurt soul's here. People who have had more terror, and problems than what I can ever imagine. Perhaps if I can loose my "cockyness" I can give out a little advice from what I do know and have experianced.

I however have so far stuck to a few rules that were created beetween a small group of trusted friends.

the rules simpily are.

A: Only take drug's or be around with Close friends that you 100% trust.

B: Keep a straight mind, and stay focused.

C: Be prepared for problems,

D: Its only for fun !

With these simple rules, we have encounterd no problems.
I only hope things stay this way !

-Thankyou-
  -Matt-

[Francoise]

Sorry Pal, but the folks who hang out here are not the product of some sort of "cookie cutter" creation. We're all different and you should expect different approaches in response to any question that is posted here. If you can't stand the heat...

With people like you, many of us see in you ourselves years ago before we "experimented" and lost control - and everything else, and wish someone would have grabbed us by the ears and shaken very hard while telling the unvarnished truth. Thus some of us use the 2 X 4 against the head approach - you know, to get your attention. This approach certainly does not mean any of us are naive, or "nieve" as you would have it. (High Times might be more "interested" if you spelled accurately. Look at your post again with a critical eye and a dictionary.)

Anyway, when you post a question here expect all sorts of replies from all sorts of points of view. And mine is: don't be stupid. And keep in mind that whatever you do, it won't affect me one whit. What I say is for your benefit alone. If you don't like the tone, deal with it.

Francois

[Duke Roul]

Dually noted, I will bear that in mind.

and apolagies but I am slighty dislexic, and have never been good at spelling or grammer.

Generally my sister looks over any short stories that I write and corrects them for me.

[Thomas]

let's clear something up. If you're going to use this stuff, do your homework. "Speed" is slang for any "sympathomimetic amine of the amphetamine group." I'm quoting the Physician's Desk Reference. Amphetamine, Methamphetamine, dextroamphetamine, etc. all stimulate the adrenal glands and cause very large amounts of dopamine to be released in the brain. Call it what you like, but they're all variations on the same theme. And indiscriminate use of any of them leads to the same consequences. The danger of using speed is that, like coke, the first time you use it is so overwhelming that you use it over and over again in an attempt to recapture that first moment when the drug reached your brain. I'm not going to tell you to do it or not to do it, but at least go in with your eyes open.

Thomas

[SHOTSY]

You seem like you have a direction in life with your writing. This is an admirable goal. And worthy of your energy. Maybe the magazine would be willing to publish you if you expanded your horizons. They need something different and it's up to you to figure  it out. I'm sure drugs stories basicly run the same, more or less. Be creative and use your mind, don't fry it.

[cindi]

Please do not think I have anything against you  and I believe you when you say it is not out of lack of respect,,itis a natural curiosity to try speed...that is how i got started which unfortunatly which led to other things Duke, when i was not using the speed i was on the couch and had no energy to even use a remote control...believe me hon,,,i am concerned for you as I am concerned for chad who is also very young,,,I did my drugs and duke,,it all started with speed...which eventually led to demerol, morphine, dilaudid etc...i gave up a good job a nurse,,had 12 felonies against me,, grnd jury indictment,,I am more concerned about the harm it does on your body. worry about you,,,,take care of you  then u can live TO YOU WIL BEthe rigt couseling and guidance....IF YOU NEED TOTALK REAXH ME AT CIN91860
@AOL.COM     KID ARE MY BUSINESS AND I HAVE SPENT MY TImdWITH THEM ve ause i care  they are out future,,plese think about it and know we are here for you  love to all   cin

[cindi]

Sorry   I dd it again  if  I post later at night i can't see the board when I am too tired....sorry for the typos...**** i can't see period, let alone at night....glauvoma and some nerve damage   have a great day....love to all   cin

[Shea]

Hi all

Wow, a lot of catching up to do. I have been tied up the last couple days with an injury my 11 yr. old daughter sustained. She fell at school and has a serious concussion and busted her eye up terribly as that is where she landed. So I am just now reading the posts I missed.

I too have had several posts deleted. And I believe it was katie and cindi (hope that is right) who had them deleted also. It is very frustrating. Especially if you are responding to someone and then they never get the post and think you have ignored it.

FRANK LEE, I am sorry to hear about your dilemma. I know so many times I was going to "quit" but there was always a function or situation to stop me. It is difficult when there are stressful things in our lives. It just seems the "timing" is just never right to get clean. Do I sound like an addict? I wish you all the luck in the world. You have been so kind and generous with your posts to me. You have encouraged me and given me strength. As so many other on this forum have. You are such a knowledgeable strong person. You will find your way back. And as Thomas said the long-range goal being to go longer between relapses and gradually lessen the severity or duration of the relapse.


EVERYONE ....For me it was very hard because...unlike a lot of posts I read from others....I was never tired or out of energy from the vics. I never withdrew from friends or family or social events. I WAS COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE!  I wish I would have been like that so at least I could say "wow I have my life back" in that sense. But it was the "warm fuzzy feeling" that made me social and energetic and kept my house clean. THEY KEPT ME FOCUSED AND BALANCED AND I WAS PRODUCTIVE! It was the vics that made me want to go out and do things. At night in bed they did help me relax though. So for those of you that say "your house is unkept, you have lost contact with your friends, your lawn is 2 feet high, you have no energy etc".I ENVY YOU! I wish they made me feel that way. Then I could say without them how much better I feel. How nice it is to want to be social and contact friends. How I have the ambition to clean my house and do the laundry etc. I however, felt that way on the Vicoden. Without it I feel like most feel when they are in the "drug haze"  Poison has always been like honey to me.
I do take those measly 2 vics a day for pain and they are only 5mg. I compare them to a sugar suppository I guess.

KATIE...Your story about your surgery/weight was intense to say the least. I will sure be praying for you. What strength you have girl. And to say you feel you don't fit in...hell I think you are one of the pillars.

SHOTSY, WOW thank you for all the info "and I mean all as you have really educated me :)" When you do research you don't mess around. Thank you. I vote you president of "THE RESEARCH TEAM"

WW...You are like one beautiful lilac colored valium...Your
ability to put everyone at ease with your words. You remind me of "Mother Earth"  You seem to have a way to connect things together in Harmony.

THOMAS...this goes without saying but if you set up shop in Mexico ( jbear's dream) well..the population of Mexico will increase by...how many on this forum? A LOT
Also the site for rx.list is great. I have used it several times and it has been very informative.

CINDI...As usual your right on the ball with responding, especially to newcomers. your sensitivity and dedication makes everyone feel important and cared about.

KSTUEBIN....I found your post on borderline personality disorder of great interest. I know someone who matches the description to a "T" and although she has been diagnosed with it denies it and insists the professional are wrong.

FRANCOISE..Your posts as always are informative and to the point. I still am gaining knowledge from the site you directed me to.

PHILLYCHAD  I laughed so hard at your post about the dollar. I am always telling people "do you realize if everyone in this town gave me a dollar how well off I would be" and they look at me and think "what a ****** up addict I am." SO..we kind of think a like. Probably something neither of us should advertise. ..HA HA

JBEAR...No I was off trying to nurse my daughter back to health. I wish I was away somewhere fun. Thank you for thinking of me.

JENNYFLA....I hope you are well and your hubby's back will soon feel better. I know that you are both are battling demons. I pray you find strenght in others experiences.

MILO.... I agree as bad as the food poising is the Anthrax scare is unimaginable.

SKIPPER.. I hope your visit/car ride went well. I can relate I need to make a trip to Pittsburgh which is 3 1/2 hours away and I dread the car ride.

BETH...I have been meaning to comment about your picture. It is beautiful and I agree with the sunset in the background you look like an angel.

DUKE...dyslexia,,, Are you thinking maybe that speed might cure it? Good luck to you. Please stay with us and hopefully you can learn from the experiences of other here and not your own.  "THE WISE LEARN FROM THEIR EXPERIENCES, THE WISER LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF OTHERS"..be the WISER Duke.

And to the rest of you....you are in my thoughts and prayers. With all the horror in the world you offer tranquility.

May you find peace. AND MAY JBEAR'S DREAM COME TRUE...THOMAS AS OUR DOC AND VICODEN POPSICLES. AAAHHHHHHHH

Shea **** I KNOW THIS IS LONG AND I AM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Witchywoman]

Welcome back Shea..I'm sorry to hear about your daughter!

How is she doing now?

love,
WW

[jennyfla]

Thank you for your well-wishes sweetie!
Good luck to you!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

All I can say is, if you think you have a 'handle on it' and are in 'complete control', you are fooling yourself.
Anytime you mess with any kind of drug, you are 'out of control', there is no 'in control' when messing with drugs.
They will creep up and take hold of you so sneakingly, you never see it coming!
Take it from one who always thought 'she was in control'!
A friend used to call me 'miss non-addictive' because i said 'i would never get addicted' HA!!!!!!!
Good luck, you're too young to mess up your life like this!
Jenny

[Kristen]

Sorry to break in on this thread, but I wanted to say hi to you folks!!!

Hi guys.....i just read your post asking how I was doing....That just made my day!!!  I'm doing GREAT!!!!!  Haven't taken a pill in such a long time, I cant even remember when it was!!!  I haven't even been drinking....WEIRD...what has come over me???  I have been really busy with the kids, work, and going to the gym....I've been busting my butt working out 5 days a week, 2 hours each day and the natural high feelings are incredible...and NO hangover....and its FREE!!!!  I have been going to a few NA meetings a week and its definately keeping me focused on NOT using....it reminds me the hell I was in and how wonderful it is on this side!!!   For anyone that is considering detoxing and wondering if they can do it....you CAN!!!  It IS possible if you want it bad enough!!!  You are the ONLY one that can make that decision for yourself!!!  No-one can tell you...

WW, how are you.....Jenny how are you sweets??  I haven't talked to you in such a long time!!!  

Have to run now....but I will be reading....love to all....and thanks for thinking of me....kristen

[jennyfla]

I am so happy you posted kirsten, i've been thinking about you!
Wow, I am so proud of you, Good for You!!!!!!!
I like hearing these success stories, they are an inspiration for me!!!
You sound like one busy lady!!!  Bet your kids are enjoying the heck outta their new mommy!!!!
:)
Keep up the good work!
Lv ya, Jenny

[Witchywoman]

Kristen!! Sis! Woohoo!

It is so wonderful to hear the energy in your words, the spirit and the spark! I am thrilled to hear that you are doing so well, and I can totally relate to how good it feels to be on the other side.  I've just been told by my Doc that I can start using cardio equipment this week (used to use my nordic track an hour a day five days a week..but can't use it anymore...flexes the back too much)  So I joined a gym and today have my first orientation there.

Keep us posted please, when you have the time, and till then..I'm sending you love and light and sparkles.

love,
WW

[jule1]

MATT, I KNOW YOU HAVE WRITTEN HERE BEFORE.  WHAT DID YOU ASK WHEN YOU CAME HERE BEFORE?  I AM STILL LOOKING IN ARCHIVES FOR YOUR POSTS BUT I REMEBER YOUR NAME (NAMES).  I HOPE YOU ARE TRULY ASKING FOR HELP AND IT ISINT SOMETHING ELSE.

[jennyfla]

Tonight's been an extremely tough night to say the least!
My soon-to-be 9-year old daughter just went balistic today/tonight.  She had a problem with her substitute teacher today over a letter to be mailed to the FDNY.  Each child wrote a letter and the entire school walked down to the post office to mail their letters today.  The letters were written on Tuesday and were handed out today.  Her substitute teacher seemed to think it didn't matter whose letter they were given and proceeded to hand them out without giving notice to whom they belonged to.  My daughter, whose incredibly sensitive, wanted her own, and told him so.  He told her 'too bad', and left her in tears, said they were already handed out, and she was to mail the one that she had in hand.  This sent her into a spiral of complete distress.  I finally got the story out of her, and of course, will follow up with the school on Monday (school is closed tomorrow).  But what really upsets me is the way it bothered her and the way she managed the remainder of the day.  It caused her to go into a mood where she feels no one likes her, she was mean to her sleep over friend tonight, finally falling to sleep after she cried and hugged me all night.
I understand her distress, I would have been extremely upset being the sensitive child I was at her age, and still sensitive to this day.  She seems to be following the path of her father and this is very upsetting.  She not only looks incredibly like him, but seems to have some of the same personality traits that has lead him down the road of addiction.  I am very codependent, he is very dependant.  I am an enabling always feeding his addiction and anything else he can come up with.
It hit me like a ton of bricks tonight how all this behavior is affecting him.  I'm not blind, i've thought about this often in the past, but tonight was so startling!  I have three beautiful, wonderful children, and look what they are living around.  Their parents are both addicts, we both have our extreme flaws.  I've always prided myself as being a 'wonderful' mom!  
I attended family counseling the first time my husband went into rehab.  I went to 18-hours of intense counseling, and it was an amazing eye-opener, I learned so much!  
I know the dangers of children living amongst addicts, etc. etc. and in disfunctional households, but for some reason, i always thought that i could deal with it, and that as long as they were loved, everything would be ok.  But now, i'm not so sure.  I am absoluately frightened to death that my children will follow in their parents' footsteps.  I've feared this before, but now that my oldest is getting older, it's a fear that is becoming a reality.
I love my children with all my heart, not one cell less.  I want the best for them, and this world is tough enough without having these worries and problems all around them at such a young age.  I don't know what to do.  Should i get them into counseling NOW.  My husband doesn't seem to understand my fears.  I've told him in the past that i grew up with a mother who drank (a wonderful mother though I want to add), and then a husband who drank/drugged/and most of all, one with a lot of psychological problems.  I don't want to spend the remainder of my life picking up the pieces of my children who might fall into the same life; this i cannot bear.  I'm strong, but to watch my children fall into this, because of fault of my own, would be the final straw on my back; this would kill me!
i know i need to STOP it all NOW before it's too late.  My husband is

[jennyfla]

in bad shape mentally, and i'm holding on with all i've got!  I love my children, and i give them my all, but what good is all that if they are growing up around all this disfunction.
Like i said, it hit me like a ton of bricks tonight!
My little girl cried her little eyes out tonight.  After all the kids were sleeping, i walked on over across the street to visit my old neighbor who is bedridden after having a stroke.  She is 75 yrs old, can't walk because of the stroke and horrible osteoporosis.  She was crying before I walked into her bedroom to see her.  She was a nervous wreak, i think because she was supposed to have been given her nightly dose of oxycontin, and her son hadn't given it to her yet because he doesn't understand the medication and didn't realize the poor thing was in withdrawal.  I told him you can't just NOT give that type of medication to her, she needs it NOW!!!!!  I told her, go ahead and cry on me (as i gave her a hug), everyone else has tonight, so go for it!!!!
She thinks I'm just the sweetest women alive, but all i feel like i am is a junkie!!!!  :(
I try so hard, but i'm getting so tired, and I so frightened for my children!  :(
What kind of life am I giving them like this?
Sad and tired, and in the mood to kick my own ass tonight!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

BTW, I've missed you all very much.
I haven't been in too much of a mood to 'talk' lately because i just don't know what to say anymore.
I feel like a loser and a waste (i know, big pity party happening here), but this is just how i feel.
Thanks for listening!
Lv Jenny

[Duke Roul]

Hi there,

I think you will find that I have only just joined this Forum, and generally speaking I am not asking for "help" as such, but for "Advice"...

The effects of drugs, including short and long term have given me much interest. By posting here, and listening to answers and responses I hope to learn more about drug use / abuse.

Evedentlly the more I know....the more I pass onto my friends (they will sit there for hours sometimes, as I explain the effects of ecstacy on the brain)....and the more they know !


I do still use some forms of drugs on a recreational level, especially MaryJ which I think is not a bad thing.

So to answer your post...

I am new here, and perhaps subconciously I am looking for a way out....but to my own mind, this is to help me understand and become more knowledgable.

-XxX
MATT-

[Leigh]

Jenny, I really don't know you very well yet. But judging from your posts to me and other people on this forum, you sound like a very loving and caring person. You also seem to be extremely consciencous and empathic of other people's problems, especially your own children. Although you are going through a difficult time right now, I would guess that your kids are VERY lucky to have such a caring, loving mom. You don't seem to be completely out of touch with your kids, as you have mentioned in posts before. As a matter of fact, it sounds like you feel for them and their problems quite deeply. And your daughter sounds like she's inherited your sensitivity, which is a wonderful quality, as most people on this forum can attest after reading your sensitive and caring posts. I think one of the things that gets really out of whack with addiction is 'perspective.' Everything seems to be completely out of control in between pills and prescriptions. The only time things feel okay is when the pills are peaking. Even after that twenty minute peak, things start to look bleak again. And it's just so hard to keep things in their proper perspective or proportion. You mention that your neighbor thinks you're very sweet, but has no idea that you're really a junkie...You gave your neighbor compassion and support. That is very sweet, and something that a lot of people would not bother doing. Re: being a junkie--well, sure--you're an addict. Just like me, just like the rest of us on this forum. But again, keeping things in perspective--did you take all her medications, and leave her crying in bed? Did you sneak out her back door with her television and jewerly to sell on the streets for a forged script? And re: your kids, it is obviously not too late to change things. It seems like you still have a great relationship with them...so now that you're aware that you would like to keep that good relationship, you can use your fears and energy to maintain that and avoid sinking deeper, which would eventually lead to dysfunction.

Again, I don't know you that well (yet). But judging from your posts, you seem to have a great heart and a lot of awareness. I can't even name ten sober people who possess both those qualities.

Shea--When I first started taking Vics, I also found the euphoria and energy to be really helpful in my social life. I would pop a vic and boom--my house would be spotless. After work, my friends would bug me to go out...I'd feel really tired and worn out. So I'd take a vic and just like magic, I'd not only go out--but I'd be the center of attention. That's why I kept using...I thought I'd tapped into the miracle cure for chronic fatigue and disillusionment. When my mom died, I was the pillar of strength for everyone. People kept asking how I found the energy, how I found the positive thoughts to keep moving forward. Ha. I'm not even sure if I dealt with my mom's death, to this very day. Anyway, I have NO idea when things changed. I think it was a gradual decline, otherwise I might have noticed. Or, perhaps I noticed but took a pill to forget about it. But eventually, I'd take a pill before cleaning, to get that burst of energy and enthusiasm...and instead, I'd feel so warm and fuzzy that I'd settle back into my couch and convince myself that I could clean later. And instead of going out with friends, I found myself completely happy to just sit and buzz by myself. I didn't need friends to make me happy--I could be happy on my own. Not to mention--I could go out with friends later. That was the big problem--I kept thinking I could do everything later, the next day, in a few hours. So a few hours down the road, I'd take another pill to get more energy so I could actually clean or socialize, and the cycle would repeat itself.

Last night was my second night home, without any pills. After work, I got home and looked around my messy apartment--and I couldn't do a damn thing. I felt too achy and tired to actually clean up my life (withdrawal, I'm sure). But when I tried to sleep, I could only toss and turn and think about how my life has gone down the drain. I hate myself so much right now. I just hope I can use that hate to turn things around.

Again, to everyone who has been posting and sending positive thoughts--thank you. It means more than I could ever say...

Love, L

[cindi]

my heart is breaking for al of you guys right now but i have got to go back and lay down..I have such a bad case of something..throat, glands etc..my husband woke me up to so he could go to BEST ******* BUY what the ****..jesus christ he is sick and there are no signs of life for days  what the hell...anyway....these are the times i need to call my mom and cry..dammit...now why the **** did she leave me.!!!...see  I gotta go... I am useless and i have to feel better tomorrow for jenns soccer game in the morning..I have to go..jenny  i love yo   i love you hang in there..I got a cell phone with the after 8pm free calls so when i feel better i can call you ,,,,hang in there Leigh, all of you   love cin

[skipper]

matt:
welcome to the forum, there is always room for one more inside.
that said, i believe you were asking questions about the use of
amphetamines/crank/crystal/speed/garbage... short course from someone who's been there (35 years ago). speed, amphetamines,methadrine,crystal,crank... all names for a drug that should only be used by young people with too much physical and mentle health. as much delight as many people would take in a "intellegent, sensitive young man with an inquistive nature,"such as you, getting wised up quick on the street, i will refrain from the fun. your "rules" for "safe drug use" that you espouse are bull ****  and besides the only reasion for a drug addict to make rules, is the delight/disappointment they take in breaking them.
Matt: I'm really frightened for you. i've seen way too many young
people get gobbled up by the street and the scumm that lives there. the absolute worst (and most repulsive) drug abuser out on the street are speed (amphetamine) freaks. THESE SPEED FREAKS I SPEAK OF WILL EAT YOU ALIVE!!! you are not prepared to deal with them.want the speed expierence??  smoke some dope and listen to bob dylan's "Highway 61," esp. "It Takes a Lot to laugh, It Takes
a Train to Cry" and call it an evening.

everyone else: gad it's good to be back home! my neck feels like
a frozen hydraulic jack, but i'm back!

keep an angel on your shoulder!
kip

[jennyfla]

Aww Cindi, gosh girl, i wish i lived closer so i could help you, you sound so sick and so alone!!! :(
I hope by morning and by the time you read this post, that you are feeling much better in body and in spirit!!
I hate being sick myself, no one else in this house seems to know how to do anything, and it's so hard to even be 'sick'!
I even tried to quit using when my hub returned from rehab, but the withdrawals were so bad I couldn't take care of everyone's needs, and god forbid, i might get alittle sympathy and maybe some special care myself!  Ugh!!!!
You can relate i'm sure, with little ones running about the house, there's always soooooo much to do!!!
Anyway, i just wanted to give you a (((HUG))) and let you know that I'm out here for you, and i love you too girl!!! :)
Feel better soon sweetie!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

Thank you so much for all your kind, sweet words, you really brightened up my day!
Please don't hate yourself!  Try to look at your life as starting right here and now.  It doesn't do any good to look back at the things you are angry about.  Try to look forward into the future, and give yourself some credit for getting through these past few days without the pills!  You really deserve some praise, not a kick in the butt right now!
You too have a beautiful warm heart, and i hate to see you treating yourself like you are!  If you want this to work for you, you need to begin to LOVE yourself, and start looking at things in the past as IN THE PAST, and keep them there; there's nothing you can do about it, so time to move on into the future.  It will be a wonderful future too if you keep on track and get past this addiction.
I can relate to the take a pill, and then you feel social, and can face anything.  I am a 'clean-freak', before and after drug use.  Taking a little helper only makes me want to clean even more if that's possible, so i can relate!
Keep up the good work, and you deserve a lot of praise even getting to this point!!!!!  Stay strong, and try to think positive focusing on your bright future without drugs!!!
The babies crying, so i better run!  I sunburned all the kids today at the beach by forgetting to later them up with sunscreen!  I feel awful, but i'm still a good person! :)
Lv Jenny

[Witchywoman]

Cindi..I wish I could help...you sound really upset, and yet you still find it in yourself to be compassionate to us at times like that.  I'm sending you sparkling healing energy, hoping you return to a vibrant state of health soon..the state of physical vibrancy that matches the ever present spiritual vibrancy of your angelic heart.

Kip, welcome back my friend! Sounds like the car ride did you not a damn bit of good...how was the rest of the trip?  

Jenny, I just want to say that I'm glad to see you back among us posting regularly again. Your words are so full of love. For someone who says she doesn't feel very much anymore, you sure seem to be able to express your feelings fully...thank you for that..I need it, and you, and am glad you are here.

lots of love,
WW

[jennyfla]

I need some help with something!  I consider you guys some of the best friends that i've ever had, not mention that i respect all of your opinions more than anyone else because I believe that we as addicts are truly the 'cream of the crop', and it's been proven over and over on this forum! :)
Now, it's nothing earthshattering, but i need alittle advice about a job issue.
I've been in a secretarial job with a company for 5-years now.  This job is a 'job to nowhere'.  I work in an office by myself or with my manager when he's not traveling.  I came from a company with 4,000 employees right there (AT&T) and loved the interaction; i'm a people-person (most of the time).  It took a long while to adjust to being alone so much and never having any decent work to do, much less, much work to do at all (i'm not afraid of work).  I feel into a depression during the first year of adjustment.  
Our company is not doing too well lately as are a lot of 'tech' companies worldwide.  There's no advancement opportunity because our company is in California, and i'm in Florida.  If my boss leaves, then i'm out of a job.  It pays too well (California wages in Florida), so i've never been able to leave.
I was approached by a friend tonight (my daughter's best friend's mom), and she is the manager of Human Resources for one of the largest companies in this area (there aren't many large companies without commuting at least 35 miles (and i did the commute thing - 90 miles round trip) for 6-years while working at AT&T in northern Florida.
She remember that i was in Quality Assurance back at AT&T, and they are in need of a Quality Assurance Manager within their company and she thought of me.  The salary is right in line, if not a little higher, with what i am currently making.  She suggested i at least send in my resume.
This frightens me for a number of reasons.  First off i've never been in a 'management' position, always either administrative assistant or executive assistant.  No small job though working for VP's of a company like AT&T.  My husband also reminded me of what i do everyday of my life in my own home, managing finances, taking care of the kids, etc. etc.  he is confident this would be a piece of cake for me!  I feel as though i've lost so many skills during my 'nothing job' over the past 5-years.  I'm out of practice, and the thought is scarey to actually have to perform again in a 'real' job.  My addiction also scares the **** out of me!!!!  I'm afraid that i'm not what i used to be, and that my addiction has changed me and i'm not as together as i used to be, unable to handle stress, etc.  All i can think is 'what if, what if??"  This scares me!  I'm afraid of regretting my decision to leave my comfort zone of my current job.  Some days it's all i can do just to get to work on time, a place that i just have to sit and be there to answer phones.  How can i expect to take on a challenge of a job where i might even have to speak to groups of people.  I'm very shy inside.  It used to be a big problem when i was younger, although you wouldn't really know it now, but dead down, i'm still very shy and very insecure about myself.  
I'd be nuts not to go for it, my job could end tomorrow at the rate my company is going, but then again, it could last another 2-years!  
But these opportunities in this area are slim and far between!  
How can i get up the nerve to do this?
What do you guys think?  Should i go for it even with this monkey on my back, or should i stay where it safe and warm?
HELP!
Lv Jenny

[Witchywoman]

Wow, well first of all, congratulations on even having the opportunity!

I'd suggest one thing...what does your gut tell you to do?

Don't make the decision out of a need to hold on to the safe and secure...growth happens when we take risks, but just be sure that it is a risk worth taking.  Would this new job help raise your self esteem? Would it maybe give you an added boost in knowing that you can take good care of yourself and your family?

I hate to give direct advice, 'cause I don't know all the circumstances, but I do think that they way you presented it, it sure sounds like a hell of a good opportunity.  It sure can't hurt to at least submit your resume and check the place out, see how it feels.

:-)  smiling for you!
love,
WW

[jennyfla]

Thank you for the smile tonight!  It's late, the baby was up as usual, i'm beat, and i just wanted to let you know that you made me smile!
I'm glad that i'm back too, i missed everyone very very much!
I wasn't far, i was still around watching all of you, and posting occasionally.  Sometimes i just don't know what to say, so i just keep alittle distance, but i'm never very far away.
I always feel better when I get back into the mindset to keep posting here.  I just feel like such a fool sometimes, and i know that i shouldn't, but sometimes i still do.  You all are very special people, and very special to me, so i should NEVER feel that way I know!
I hope your back continues to heal, although i would imagine you will have your good days and your bad.  Just remember, when you are having a bad pain day, tomorrow will most likely bring a better day!!!! You are definately on the 'right side now', this side is a place where you don't ever want to go back to, and i think you truly know that deep enough in your heart to stay away!
This forum confirms that, so this is a great place for you, plus, we all need you here as an inspiration of what the 'other side' is like, plus your constant encouraging words to everyone is priceless!!!!
Keep being you!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

Thanks sweetie!  Geez, i need to get my butt to bed, it's 2 am, this board is addictive, LOL!
You give good advice and made some excellent points!
I think it would be good for my self-esteem, unless it turns out to be the job from heckers!
I've always been afraid of change, something that i think has always held me back.  Sometimes i have to make myself do something to change because if i never take any chances, i'll just end up watching the world go by as i stay safe and warm in the nice cozy spot.  Thing is, that nice cozy spot has a way of vanishing over time just because the world keeps on moving and things are always changing!
I will submit my resume, and i think i have a very good chance of at least getting an interview; it couldn't hurt to at least check it out.  
This could be just what i need to help me get out of this rut, the rut that helped put me in this darn addiction in the first place.  I need people around me, and sitting there alone day after day (or with my boss whose going through a divorce - ugh, a whole different story), doesn't exactly lift my spirits!
Thanks sweetie!
Have a great weekend, K?
Lv Jenny

[SHOTSY]

" You create your thoughts, and your thoughts create your life. Do you like what you have created? Contemlate yourself each day and you will unravel the mystery of not only what you are but who you are." This is something I read and gives me pause. Come on jenny, I can read your mind. You see yourself doing this. I see you doing this. Your imagining all the tasks and responsibities you might have. It seems your not real pleased with your current job, and there maybe some unstability there. What are we talking about the first step, the resume. That can't be that bad, you've probaly done it before. And if they want to hire you, that surely would make you feel great. And if for some reason you rethink your options all you have do do is say now's not the right time.I think it's the boost you need. My opinion is GO FOR IT! Good luck and let us know. Your friend, Shotsy

[SHOTSY]

P.S. Had a thought. When you get this job. You can hire me as your research consultant. Contact Shea for reference. And I would only require a modest salary, Ah hell, as long as we're fantasizing, let's make it liberal.LOL. See it's contagious! Have a great day! Shotsy

[Duke Roul]

You picture me as someone who has not had releveant experiance dealing with such Speed freaks, and dealers.
Even I was once became a major seller of MaryJ
(made over Ł200 a week)
But we soon found it to be a waste of time, effort, money !
not too mention highly illegal.

I know what they are like, and I also know that one off them is a safe guy, who can be trusted to any extent. Infact I've known him for years. Doesent make him a bad guy, just coz he sells a few chemy's.

The rules we agreed on, are far from bullshit, they do not get broken !

The small group I chill with consists of 5 extremley good friends (and sometimes there partners) which are also classed as friends.

We dont want to see eachother get ****** up, so we look after each other.

there is no dark side, there is no bitterness or discontent.

We play by the rules, and everyone stays A' okay !

Such a close group of friends is very rare as we are, before I met them all....I had never really had such good friends.


perhaps its not understandable from someone who doesent truly know us, I think if you did....you would understand, and perhaps even maintain just a small inch of respect by the rules we live by.


- Peace Out -
Matt

+ yehhh good tune, I've smoked out to it many times.
more of a Cyprus Hill fan myself :)

[SHOTSY]

Wow, maybe if we'd all been as smart as you we wouldn't have ended up here. Maybe we just didn't know "The Rules". Boy maybe, you can publish that and save so many people. Enough of being snide, I apologize. Re-think your options.

[SHOTSY]

hey , I understand how you feel about your daughter reacting that way. But really in one sense feel teacher should have known those kids would personally want to mail their own letters. Maybe if you say something to the teacher about how much it upset your child they can smooth it over. Then your daughter can always learn that life has unexpected happenings. My daughter can be the same way.I've seen hear cry about her hair, her clothes ,just stuff that baffles me at this age. But I guess girls are more sensitive? Then she'll be laughing the next. A couple of times I wondered if this was serious.I don't know. But the fact that you held her and loved her is the biggest thing. YOU gave her the comfort that she needed. Bye                                        P.S. Did I go over board on Duke? He's same age as my oldest and I just want to reach out and shake Thanks.

[liz36]

Hi everyone!  Could anyone tell me if they have had any experience with a diet pill called Adipex-P?  I have been searching all over the net for information about this, but I need to hear some personal experiences from anyone out there.  Is it safe to use?  I'm very much overweight and hear that it can help me lose some weight.  Please anyone!  I'll be checking in constantly for some responses.  Thanks in advance folks! Liz

[cindi]

Liz  yes I have taken every "diet pill" under then sun  even when i didn't need to..i did it for the buzz..adipex, fastin  they are phentermine hydrochloride and i was pretty much dependant on them for the energy...after years of being on them they didn't do it for me anymore..and the days that i didn't have them i could barely function..they are for short term weight loss therapy and i didn't get mine legally  a pharmacist who happened to be a friend of mine gave them to me....and many other  he ended up a federal prison for 42 months...believe me those are the mildest I have taken..i am not really sure that docs really even prescribe them that much anymore......hey  when you get a chance if you sitll have my email addy  send me some mail cuz i lost yours                love to all  cin

[jule1]

Jenny - Interviewing is always good for practice.  Since you are worried about your job you may have to find another one soon so go for the interview go in with an air of confidence like they need you you don't need them.  Just project tons of confidence!!!!  My best jobs have been when I went in to interview to just kind of feel things out.  If you feel you need the job that can come through to show desperation.  I have confidence in you you are an amazing woman and your huuby is right you are running a small company in your homelife BY YOURSELF!!!!  lOTS OF LOVE JULES

Liz - Just be careful taking any diet pill they scare me so much.  I have never heard of the one you are talking about but even OTC pills have caused death in otherwise healthy young women.

CINDI - Hope you are feeling better sweetie!!!  I just hurt when I think about you losing your Mom I just feel so much for you Lots of love - Jules

Leigh - I wrote you a huge post that was deleted so I just wanted you to know you have a friend in me and keep up the good work - Jules  OK it is in the 70's here in NJ today I am going to go play and enjoy the weather  HUGS TO EVERYONE

[cindi]

Jules,,thanks for your comforting words,...i hate being sick  I really hate it  and DO YOU THINK I AM ALLOWED TO BE SICK FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS?    lol    dOUG PROMISED HE'D HELP ME CLEAN UP THE HOUSE  seems when i get sick everything around me falls apart,,oh he helped ok  He sat on the couch and had jenna and alec clean the living room,,,he did and only because I threatened his life helped me make dinner  he chopped up 6 potatoes, 4 stalks of celery and threw them in the crock pot,,,I am making beef stew,,,,WOW   and like I said i threatened his life and I also threatened to take one of his last 5 oxy's  LOL  feeling a bit better today but i am going back to the couch and guess what  I think I'm gonna have to fight for my right to the couch...oh yeah  he got me a glass of ice water and going to buy me cough medicine...Robitussin   whoop de do...so if i take 2 vic es's with robitussin DM then it is pretty much comparable to vicodin tuss..that's what we had to do at the hospital when the pharmacy didn't carry the good stuff..now it is all settling in my chest which only means this will be my first bout of pneumonia in the past 6 months......no doc..not yet anyway so once again  it is Nurse  heal thyself.......love you all  cin

[Beth]

Jenny- I have been watching you post for months and months. You are a woman of strength and integrity. I sincerely hope your addiction doesn't scare you careerwise, because if you've kept a job for 6 years being an addict, you obviously don't have ALL the traits of an addict since the first to go is usually the ability to keep a steady job.

I would just weigh the plusses and minuses of each. With your current job things are familiar and the pay is good, and I'm guessing you can bring your baby to work when you want/need to. With the new one, pay would be a little better and you'd be able to socialize more, but you'd also have way more responsibility. Now myself, I *flourished* as an addict with a lot of responsibility. Once I figured that out I took a job where I KNEW I would have to be on my toes and in control every minute to help me get clean and it worked. So I see benefits for you either way. I'll pray for you!

Liz- diet pills don't work. I used to weigh over 200 lbs and now I weigh a maintained 117 lbs (Right now I weigh 113 but I'm sick so that's a little low) I have battled wieght ALL my life and coming from two obese parents who moved me from formula to mcdonald's at the age of 5 months didn't help. I know the drill- middle school was miserable, high school was torture, and if you're like me, college just <i>wasn't</i>. At the beginning of this year I started <a href="http://zoneperfect.com" target="_new">The Zone</a> and added MANY of my own modifications. I am working on a webpage detailing my weight loss experience which I will post the link to as soon as I am done. I tried all the gimmicks, diets, and pills and they never, ever worked- only made me feel like more of a failure than ever. If you're REALLY gonna do it, do it the right way and don't just diet but find a whole new healthy lifestyle. Trsut me, if I can do it, ANYONE can. I was 197 lbs on Jan 1st and today I am 113 lbs and YEAH BABY it feels great! I lost the bulk of that when I got clean so THANK YOU THOMAS for helping me achieve the "Flatbelly" status I have so desired for years! ;-)

In all seriousness Liz, please don't chase diet pills...just put all your determination, will, and drive in a bag and RUN with it! I know you can do it, and even if I don't post I read here every day so if you need help or encouragement, just holler- I'll be here. God bless you.

[jennyfla]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and thoughtful advice!!! :)  It really means a lot to me, because this is something I am very need to face since my job is such shakey!  I've been there for 5-years now, and my job has had zero rewards.  It's been nice in some ways because of the flexibility, being able to bring my baby to work with me for 18-months, and also bringing sick children into work.  But like i said before, it was very hard on me for a long time, being alone; i HATE beung alone.  Plus, no rewards whatsoever, i need some satisfaction from a job.  5-years ago i would have been thrilled, but now, with my addiction, i'm scared to death.  But, maybe like you said beth (i think it was you, beth, i apologize if i've confused the advice), but this might be just what i need to help get my act together, and get this addiction past me once and for all; anything's possible!
Beth:  You picture looks fantastic.  I absoluately LOVE the sunshine behind you bouncing off your beautiful red head.  You picture just looks like one of peace and inner happiness!!!  Good luck to you girl, you've made it to the other side!
Shotsy:  I don't feel you where too hard on your post to the guy with the speed question.  He needs to understand that the rules change sometimes.  He is young, and i was young once too, and thought if i played by the 'rules' all would be ok.  I was actually fine during my 20's, but something happened over these last 5-years, something i never ever thought would happen to 'me'.  The 'rules' changed, and i wasn't able to stop it at the time!  Now here i am, an addict, and in hell!  So he needs to rethink his choices, that's for sure!!!!
So I do thank you guys, and i will keep you posted!!! :)
Definately need to send my resume (which is all prepared, and actually has been, and it's a wonderful resume I might add -- i've been told time and time again), then hope to get an interview, and check it out for myself; feel the place out and follow my 'gut and heart'!!!
:)
Love Jenny

[worriedman blues]

ok I know this is a comments only board but the questions board is full so here gos...a friends daughter has been using speed for some time (shes in her mid-twentys so we only just found out) and its scareing the hell out of her mom...the reason for the extra worry (besides her daughter having young children ) is simple ...her daughter is a diabetic, any medical info would be a help ...especially on the mental side (long term use etc) as she has been showing increasing signs of violent behaviour.                                                       Info/advice from anyone whos been through this sort of thing (from either side )would also be helpful...I hope

[ssfr]

what follows is a  response that i just  posted to another one in seek of the truth-   i just copied it here- since again- when postings here are made so close to the bottom- they are very likely to get overlooked:  quite possibley the link provided will take you to a    place where you can hopefully receive some meaningful advice- after all that is all we search for in the final analysis= anyway- my last response is as follows"

first let me suggest that when you wish to post- especially when you are in need of a more quickly response- let me suggest posting much much more closely to the top of the page- unfortuntaly, posts towards towards the bottom tend to get lost and thus overlooked- honestly, i would bet that probably at least 50%, if not not of the bottom post never ever get seen. since audience attentiton span tend to be geared toward the first few posts on a page
secondly- experience tells me that you are likelly to get a relatively rapid response to questions you might have from another another web site- that is "http://pub37.ez.board.com/bthenewaddictionmedicineforum
this site is replete with many invaluably medical source like practicing nurses, theraphists, and scads of docs of life- who have been there and done that- in addition to med help- i would honestly recommend taking a look at it.
if i had the knowlege about your question xanax specifically- i would be more than glad to help- but that is not something i know too much about- but i guarantee there are several folks there who are very knowlegebale about xanax who will be more than happy to answer any quesions you have- you will need to register first- no biggee tough-
good luck!!

[princesskat07]

[princesskat07]

hi my name is kat, so ur wantin to take whizz, thers nuffin to be scared about honest its a good buzz, it makes u do everythin fast u can feel achy after your come down which u can learn to controll, its the best drug ever especially for losin wieght, u still no wot ur doin off the stuff, try it ul like it jus 1nce a month coz u dont wanna get addicted

[Glauren]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Just no.

This is something I do know a lot about. But my words aren't coming out right.
If you would like to know more, let me know and I will answer any questions.

I just don't feel like going on a rant right about now.

[Glauren]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Just no.

This is something I do know a lot about. But my words aren't coming out right.
If you would like to know more, let me know and I will answer any questions.

I just don't feel like going on a rant right about now.

[Glauren]

ugh....sorry, I accidentally double posted.

[JAXX55]

Uhhh. Why are people encouraging someone to take drugs?@! Seems awefully um STUPID to me!?!

[faith_hope_love]

This post is old and started in 2001 so I guess most of these people aren't here anymore and the one's that are advocating a "good buzz" well, I am glad they are gone and agree with you.

BUT, since people do dig up these old posts through google or however they bring them up, I will say that amphetamines and methamphetamines only lead to destruction IMO.  

Let me tell you all two true horror stories.  The first one is about my aunt's husband who started taking speed when he was working graveyard shifts to stay awake.  It didn't take long for him to get strung out and then of course need pills to come down on too.  He continually got worse in this addiction and in the end got wired out one day, got his shotgun and come looking for my aunt who was divorcing him and was planning on killing her.  Luckily she went into hiding that day and he didn't find her so he went to his new girlfriend's house and blew her head off.  He was found guilty of murder and sent to prison.  

Second story, me and my husband were married in '94, I thought life was wonderful, I couldn't have been more naive and stupid.  Come to find out that my dear husband had started using crank/crystal meth and I didn't really even know what that was at the time.  On one occasion he even talked me into doing a few lines and that was a nightmare for me since I wasn't able to sleep for 4 days and even hallucinated.  So, never again for me and he also told me not to worry, he just used "occasionally for energy."  WRONG!   Long story short, he did every day, all day, all night, was mean to me because I was no fun anymore and he cheated on me regularly with his geeked out girlfriends.  

Finally, I had had enough one night and said that I was filing for divorce and was leaving and he runs out of the house after me like a crazy person and tackles me to the ground and starts beating and beating my face in and then he started strangling me to the point of I really thought I was going to die.  I remember I was losing conciousness and in my mind I was crying out to God to please save me and I promised God that if he would, I would leave my husband and never go back.  Miraculously, he finally let up and I jumped up and started screaming as loud as I could, (we had been staying at his parents since he couldn't hold a job) and his mama came running out and got him off of me.  She took me to my mother's and I remember her in the car begging me not to call the police.  When I got to my mother's I looked in the mirror and my face was unrecognizable with bruises and black eyes, busted lip, found out later that he broke my ribs and also what was so weird when I woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror, I had two big black and blue handprints on my neck.

I divorced him, went on with my life but did see him some months later and at the time he had been up for 11 days on crank.  I remember telling him if he didn't get help he would be dead in 10 yrs.  

Almost 10 years later, he died at the age of 30.  He had been out partying and coming home was driving (from what the police reports said) at over a100mph and hit a tree and it killed him instantly.

So, IMO there is nothing good about any kind of speed.  I sure if my exhusband was here he would agree.

[Mikeinthesouth]

I have so many friends and aquatances that have died due to drug abuse, but I still did them until now its never going to be me. RIght!! Well I hope you got your answer MATT see ya.. MIke

[Mikeinthesouth]

ooohhh this is old. Never mind. LOL