Anxiety

[wonbyone]

Will my anxiety ever go away? I am 6 weeks off of opiates. Physically I am fine.  Not sick anymore.  The clonidine helped alot.  I have so much anxiety I feel I'm going to jump out of my skin. I still am very short of breath. My doc told me I can keep taking the clonidine for anxiety but I dont think it is working.  Anyone have any advise?  The depression and anxiety is getting the better of me right now.  Sleep is an issue as well.

[SarahOz]

Hi how did you go at the psychiatrists'? Being anaemic is not fun. This too causes physical symptoms, feeling flat, anxiet, shortness of breath... Look up up the symptoms. I hope you get this addressed soon because this will be playing a major factor in how you are feeling.

[Forgivethyself]

Hello Wonbyone! I will tell you I've had the same thoughts of darkness as you through this. I think others have as well to varying degrees! So try not dwell on them and think your so different. My thoughts are getting better as time passes! I came off of clonipin, Lexapro, and Percocet all at once a little over 3 weeks ago!! Frankly, I got tired of being a walking pharmacy!! I still have many physical and mental issues going on from detoxing these all out of my body, but it's definitely getting better. Exercise when you can and drink a lot of water...that seems to help me anyway. When you get those dark thoughts, try (easier said than done) distract your brain with something else you like to do!! I have been through the worst in this life and if I can make it, you certainly can too! Sending positive thoughts your way!!

[wonbyone]

Thank you.  i am trying so hard.  You are only 3 weeks and you are on here giving advise.  Way to GO!!! I'm 6 weeks and am barely keeping my head above water.  i like your nickname and i think that is something I need to do.  "forgive myself" I HATE that I fell into this aweful situation....TWICE! i have ZERO desire for opiates.  i do, however, need my antidepressants.  I've been on them most of my adult life. i just think i am not on the right one. Hang in there.  I guess we ALL need each other on here huh?  I'll be praying for you.

[Forgivethyself]

Thank you! I posted here cause it is therapeutic for me as well. I have also been through the pain meds circus before a few years ago. I just can't have em prescribed to me or be around them anymore or my sick brain takes over. Getting off my benzo has been an absolute mind and body screw though, not fun at all. I was on it for 3 years after losing my daughter! I am improving, one slow day at a time. I wish you all the success, your worth it!

[jifmoc]

What are you doing for your recovery? Once we remove the drugs, we are just addicts w/o drugs. A very scary, anxiety-ridden lonely place to be. We cannot do it w/o support.

[wonbyone]

I see a psychiatrist and therapist.  I have a very supportive family.  its the depression more than the addiction.  I have ZERO desire to do opiates.  Those pills are EVIL. I have had clinical depression most of my adult life.  The vicodan just numbed that feeling and I liked that.  The problem is that once I stopped the vicodan, the depression is WORSE! My doctor is trying to help me get on an antidepressant that works for me.  She hasnt had success so far.

[Leybeaux]

Hi,
First off congrats on 6 weeks. That is major.
It has been 8 days since I have stopped taking tramadol and various other neurological meds for severe migraines. I was on that drug for over 4 years and let me tell you, stopping it/tapering it was NO walk in the park. Like you, my MD gave me clonidine to help with the physical restlessnes, but after those symptoms went away, I was DEPRESSED and ANXIOUS like you would not believe. Crying all day, unable to get off the couch, not eating/drinking. I wanted my life to end. I went to the ER because I was in such an unstable mental state that I knew I needed to be evaluated. Luckily, the psychiatrist I saw specializes in women health and was really able to help me.
So here is what worked for me:
- klonopin (not to be confused with CLONIDINE) twice daily until my follow up appointment with him (which I had two days ago and have not needed to take anymore of those). That is an rx
-magnesium helps relax muscles
-b12 with folic acid (chewable) helps with boosting energy
-vitamin d (chewable) helps with depression
-melatonin 5-10 mg at bedtime for sleep
I was just started on a very low dose of zoloft, as I do have a long history of anxiety and since my neurotransmitters have seen better days, I was open to any and all suggestions. Also, I am starting counseling in a few weeks.
I promise you that you WILL get through this. Keeping busy and trying to occupy yourself is huge. If you can take a walk around the block, go to a yoga class, color, turn the radio on and dance, re-organize, WHATEVER, I promise any little bit helps.

[wonbyone]

Thak you.  What you describe is EXACTLY what i am feeling.  Depressed and Anxious, crying all day.  i dont want to go tot he ER because I am afraid they will want to put me in the hospital.  I was in psych when I went off of opiates the first time.  I dont EVER want to go there again!!!  i see my psychiatrist tomorrow.  Hopefully she can give me something other than what I am on. I think of being dead all the time. I WILL NOT ACT on it!!!  but the fact that I think it is so not healthy. I do take iron and vitamin D.  Thank you for telling me I will get through.  I need to hear that over and over.  I feel like I am so stuck here in the pit of dispair.  i need to LIVE again.  I'll ask about magnesium.  i am also seeing a hematologist because i am anemic.  i see him tomorrow as well for some blood work.  My state of mind is worse than my physical symptoms.  It really helps to talk on here to people who have been through this.  Someone before said the doctors can try to help but most of them were never addicted to any substance and cannot truely relate!
Thank you!!!!!!!!

[Leybeaux]

wonbyone:

If my husband told me 4 days ago I was going to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I would have screamed in his face and then immediately started crying. I was REALLY worried about them admitting me into some sort of psych ward because I did admit to them that I had thoughts of suicide, but no intent. You and I both know we want to end this mental pain we feel. But you know what? You made it 6 weeks without any opiates and the opiates don't really make you feel better mentally. They make take the edge off, but that is not the answer. It's a vicious cycle. You didn't get to choose, but I know that you are strong enough.
It is SO true that sometimes it really is mind over matter. Every day gets easier and then one day (I'm not there quite yet, but I see it off in the distance) I think you just wake up and you feel better and life goes on.  You are being proactive and seeing your doctors and being honest and that is amazing. I compulsively check the boards on here and it is so comforting to know you are NOT alone. I am here for you.

[wonbyone]

i compulsively check the boards here too, needing desperately to hear positive affirmations.  Did you say you are only EIGHT days?  Wow!  Your doing great.  I am SO much better now than I was at 8 days.  You will feel WAY better too.  its the mental state that is getting me.  i like that you see it off in the distance getting better. I'm trying to see it.   My dad suffered depression and he always reassured me that I would not stay in the pit!.  i would come out and live again.  My dad passed away 4 years ago and i miss him more than I can say.  its like I need someone to tell me DAILY that this will not be my life forever.  The depression I mean. My dad lived it so he could reassure me. I guess thats  why i'm on here every day.  I feel like folks are gonna get sick of me asking the same few questions every day.  Anxiety, shortness of breath etc.
Thanks for the reassurance.  i'll keep you in my prayers. We will get through this!!    

[Danny111]

Hey Wonbyone,

The depression and anxiety are a normal part of the getting clean process.  The brain needs to re-normalize.  Sleep seems to be the last physical thing to return to normal but that should be noticeably better by now and should be back to normal before too long.

Try to do things to take your mind off of the worry/depression etc.  .  Exercise is great, music, movies etc.  anything to distract yourself.  When you notice your mind going down the wrong path try to change what your thinking.  Give yourself permission to put worries aside for now.  

[wonbyone]

Thank you! i am working on it. I try not to dwell, its so hard for me.  I'm trying so hard and nothing seems to work. I'll try to put my worries aside. Focus on getting better.  i dont remember this part the first time. I got off before 2 years ago.  I was in the hospital though for 10 days.  But when I got out, I dont remember this part.  i relapsed for 5 months and went cold turkey for a while, then got some clonidine from my doc! Thanks for the advice!

[Danny111]

Any time Wonbyone.  Keep posting and keep working your sobriety.  Are you doing any type of aftercare?  NA or AA or counseling etc?